The Royal Book of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER 14

  SONS AND GRANDSONS GREET THE SCARECROW

  Although the Scarecrow had been on Silver Island only a few days, hehad already instituted many reforms, and thanks to his cleverness thepeople were more prosperous than ever before. Cheers greeted himwherever he went, and even old Chew Chew was more agreeable and nolonger made bitter remarks to Happy Toko. The Scarecrow himself,however, had four new wrinkles and was exceedingly melancholy. Hemissed the carefree life in Oz, and every minute that he was notruling the island he was thinking about his old home and dear, jollycomrades in the Emerald City.

  "I almost hope they will look in the Magic Picture and wish me backagain," he mused pensively. "But it is my duty to stay here. I have afamily to support." So he resolved to put the best face he could onthe matter, and Happy Toko did his utmost to cheer up his royalmaster. The second morning after the great victory, he came runninginto the silver throne room in a great state of excitement.

  "The honorable Offspring have arriven!" announced Happy, turning asomersault. "Come, ancient and amiable Sir, and gaze upon your sonsand grandsons!" The Scarecrow sprang joyously from his silver throne,upsetting a bowl of silver fish and three silver vases. At last areal family! Ever since his arrival, the three Princes and theirfifteen little sons had been cruising on the royal pleasure barge, sothat the Scarecrow had not caught a glimpse of them.

  "This is the happiest moment of my life!" he exclaimed, clasping hisyellow gloves and watching the door intently. Happy looked a littleuneasy, for he knew the three Princes to be exceedingly haughty andoverbearing, but he said nothing, and next minute the Scarecrow'sfamily stepped solemnly into the royal presence.

  "Children!" cried the Scarecrow, and with his usual impetuousnessrushed forward and flung his arms around the first richly cladPrince.

  "Take care! Take care, ancient and honorable papa!" cried the youngSilverman, backing away. "Such excitement is not good for one of youradvanced years." He drew himself away firmly and, adjusting a hugepair of silver spectacles, regarded the Scarecrow attentively. "Ah,how you have changed!"

  "He looks very feeble, Too Fang, but may he live long to rule thisflowery island and our humble selves!" said the second Prince, bowingstiffly.

  "Do you not find the affairs of state fatiguing, darling papa?"inquired the third Prince, fingering a jeweled chain that hung aroundhis neck.

  "I, as your eldest son, shall be delighted to relieve you should youwish to retire. Get back ten paces, you!" he roared at Happy Toko.

  The poor Scarecrow had been so taken aback by this cool receptionthat he just stared in disbelief.

  "If the three honorable Princes will retire themselves, I will speakwith my grandsons," he said dryly, bowing in his most royal manner.The three Princes exchanged startled glances. Then, with three lowsalaams, they retired backward from the hall.

  "And now, my dears--!" The Scarecrow looked wistfully at his fifteensilken-clad little grandsons. Their silver hair, plaited tightlyinto little queues, stood out stiffly on each side of their heads andgave them a very curious appearance. At his first word, the fifteenfell dutifully on their noses. As soon as they were right side up,the Scarecrow, beginning at the end of the row, addressed a jokingquestion to each in his most approved Oz style. But over they wentagain, and answered merely:

  "Yes, gracious Grand-papapapah!" or "No honorable Grandpapapapah!"And the constant bobbing up and down and papahing so confused thepoor Scarecrow that he nearly gave up the conversation.

  "It's no use trying to talk to these children," he wailed in disgust,"they're so solemn. Don't you ever laugh?" he cried in exasperation,for he had told them stories that would have sent the Oz youngstersinto hysterics.

  "It is not permissible for a Prince to laugh at the remarks of hishonorable grandparent," whispered Happy Toko, while the fifteenlittle Princes banged their heads solemnly on the floor.

  "Honorable fiddlesticks!" exclaimed the Scarecrow, slumping back onhis throne. "Bring cushions." Happy Toko ran off nimbly, and soon thefifteen little Princes were seated in a circle at the Scarecrow'sfeet. "To prevent prostrations," said the Scarecrow.

  "Yes, old Grandpapapapapah!" chorused the Princes, bending over asfar as they could.

  "Wait!" said the Scarecrow hastily, "I'll tell you a story. Once upona time, to a beautiful country called Oz, which is surrounded on allsides by a deadly desert, there came a little girl named Dorothy. Aterrible gale--Well, what's the matter now?" The Scarecrow stoppedshort, for the oldest Prince had jerked a book out of his sleeve andwas flipping over the pages industriously.

  "It is not on the map, great Grand papapapah," he announced solemnly,and all of the other little Princes shook their heads and said dully,"Not on the map."

  "Not on the map--Oz? Of course it's not. Do you suppose we want allthe humans in creation coming there?" Calming down, the Scarecrowtried to continue his story, but every time he mentioned Oz, thelittle Princes shook their heads stubbornly and whispered, "Not onthe map," till the usually good-tempered Scarecrow flew into perfectpassion.

  "Not on the map, you little villains!" he screamed, forgetting theywere his grandsons. "What difference does that make? Are your headssolid silver?"

  "We do not believe in Oz," announced the oldest Prince serenely."There is no such place."

  "No such place as Oz--Happy, do you hear that?" The Scarecrow's voicefairly crackled with indignation. "Why, I thought everybody believedin Oz!"

  "Perhaps your Highness can convince them later," suggested theImperial Punster. "This way, offspring." His Master, he felt, had hadenough family for one day. So the fifteen little Princes, withfifteen stiff little bows, took themselves back to the royal nursery.As for the Scarecrow, he paced disconsolately up and down hismagnificent throne room, tripping over his kimona at every otherstep.

  "You're a good boy, Tappy," said the Scarecrow as Happy returned,"but I tell you being a grandparent is not what I thought it wouldbe. Did you hear them tell me right to my face they did not believein Oz? And my sons--ugh!"

  "Fault of their bringing up," said Happy Toko comfortingly. "If yourserene Highness would just tell me more of that illustrious country!"Happy knew that nothing cheered the Scarecrow like talking of Oz, andto tell the truth Happy himself never tired of the Scarecrow'smarvelous stories. So the two slipped quietly into the palacegardens, and the Scarecrow related for the fourteenth time the storyof his discovery by Dorothy and the story of Ozma, and almost forgotthat he was an Emperor.

  "Your Highness knows the history of Oz by heart," said Happyadmiringly as the Scarecrow paused.

  "I couldn't do that," said the Scarecrow gently, "for you see, Happy,I have no heart."

  "Then I wish we all had none!" exclaimed Happy Toko, rolling up hiseyes. The Scarecrow looked embarrassed, so the little Punster threwback his head and sang a song he had been making up while theScarecrow had been telling his stories:

  The Scarecrow was standing alone in a field, Inviting the crows to keep off, When the straw in his chest began tickling his vest And he couldn't resist a loud cough.

  The noise that was heard so surprised ev'ry bird, that the flock flew away in a fright, But the Scarecrow looked pleased, and he said "If I'd sneezed It wouldn't have been so polite."

  "Ho!" roared the Scarecrow, "You're almost as good at making versesas Scraps, Write that down for me, Tappy. I'd like to show it toher."

  "Hush!" whispered Happy, holding up his finger warningly. TheScarecrow turned so suddenly that the silver pigtail pinned to theback of his hat wound itself tightly around his neck. No wonder! Onthe other side of the hedge the three Princes were walking up anddown, conversing in indignant whispers.

  "What a horrible shape our honorable Papa has reappeared in. I hearthat it never wears out," muttered one. "He may continue just as heis for years and years. How am I ever to succeed him, I'd like toknow. Why, he may outlive us all!"

  "We might throw him into the silver river," said the secondh
opefully.

  "No use," choked the third. "I was just talking to the ImperialSoothsayer, and he tells me that no one from this miserable Kingdomof Oz can be destroyed. But I have a plan. Incline your Royal ears--listen." The voices dropped to such a low whisper that neither Happynor the Scarecrow could hear one word.

  "Treason!" spluttered Happy, making ready to spring through thehedge, but the Scarecrow seized him by the arm and drew him away.

  "I don't believe they like their poor papa," exclaimed the Scarecrowwhen they were safely back in the throne room. "I'm feeling olderthan a Kinkajou. Ah, Happy Oko, why did I ever slide down my familytree? It has brought me nothing but unhappiness."