Always With Me

by Barbara Freethy

  "Stop," she cried, putting up her hand. "Please, stop. You've made your point."

  He pulled up in front of her dark and quiet house. "I'm surprised everyone is asleep. Wouldn't Ron wonder where you are?"

  "We don’t sleep in the same room anymore. He has a terrible snoring problem. I usually stay in Rebecca's room. I'm sure he doesn't know I'm gone. But I didn't leave Hailey alone. She was asleep, and Ron was there," she added defensively. "It was all good. I was going to have one drink and then go home. I thought it would help me sleep. I've been having trouble."

  "That's what Rebecca used to say when she took whatever she was taking. She just wanted to sleep, but it always eluded her."

  "I have to go. The neighbors will wonder why I'm sitting out here in your truck."

  "It's three o'clock in the morning; I don't think anyone is looking."

  "Janice Peters is always looking, and she doesn't sleep much either."

  "I'll see you tomorrow at noon," he said, as Helen opened the door.

  She didn't respond, just got out and quietly closed the door, then walked quickly up to her porch. He waited until she got inside and then drove back to the inn, his mind racing with a dozen different thoughts. There was still something he didn't know about Rebecca, something that happened to her, some secret her mother wanted to keep.

  But whatever the secret was, it wouldn't bring Rebecca back or change what had happened. He needed to look forward.

  Hopefully, Helen would show up at the park tomorrow with Hailey.

  What other move could she make?

  He had her over a barrel. She would never want the photos to get out. But there was still a wild card in the mix, and that was Ron.

  He couldn't help wondering if Ron was involved in the secret. Or if he was the reason Rebecca couldn't sleep at night. She'd always said she wasn't close to her father and that she knew she was supposed to love him but half the time she didn't even like him very much. He hadn't found that difficult to believe since Ron could be a self-righteous asshole. But was there more to Rebecca's dislike?

  Maybe he did need to figure out the secret, because his brain was going down a very bad path, and it was one thing to leave Hailey with loving grandparents who hated his guts than to leave her with two people who might not have done right by their own daughter.

  Gianna knew she should not go down to the park at noon on Monday. It was not her business, but she really wanted to see Zach and Hailey reunite. As the clock moved closer to twelve, she turned to Nora, who was scheduled to work at the store until three. "I'm going to take lunch. Will you be all right on your own?"

  "Of course. Mondays aren't very busy. Take your time."

  "Thanks."

  She grabbed her purse from behind the counter and headed out. It was another hot day, and she was happy to be wearing a sleeveless dress and wedge sandals. The park was close by, and it only took her about five minutes to get to the children's playground. She didn't see Helen, but Zach was pacing back and forth by the basketball court on the other side of the swings.

  Surprise flashed across his face when he saw her. She hoped it was a welcome surprise, but if it wasn't, she'd wish him luck and take off.

  "Hi," she said. "I probably shouldn't have come, but I wanted to see how this was going to play out. I also thought you might want some support, but if you'd rather do this alone, I will go."

  Indecision played through his eyes. "I'm glad you're here, but…"

  "But you'd rather I wasn't."

  "I don't want to confuse Hailey any more than she already is."

  "I understand. Could you text me later and tell me how it went?"

  "You don't have to leave yet, Gianna, but when they get here, I need to talk to Hailey alone."

  "Of course. Did Helen say anything to you in the car on the way home last night?"

  "Not really. She claimed her behavior was an aberration. That she hasn't been sleeping well since Rebecca died."

  "That's understandable. She lost a child—the worst thing that could happen."

  "I know. But there's something else going on. She kept asking me what Rebecca had told me about her past. There's a secret that Helen is worried about getting out. I think Rebecca had a diary that went missing years ago and Helen suddenly thought maybe it was still in the desk."

  "What would Rebecca have said in an old diary that would make Helen break into the store?"

  He shrugged. "I don't know."

  "Well, whatever happened, it's in the past."

  "Yes, and I probably would leave it at that if it wasn't for Hailey. If something happened to Rebecca as a child, if the Carvers did something wrong, how can I leave Hailey with them? I need to know if there was a reason Rebecca left home at eighteen and never went back. And she certainly didn't encourage her parents to have much contact with her daughter. They visited a few times when we were together, but it wasn't a lot. Helen also mentioned that Mitch told her I'd fight her and Ron with everything I had. I got the feeling that triggered her night of drinking. She's afraid I know more than I do or that I'll figure it out." He checked his watch, his mouth drawing into a tight line. "She's late."

  "She has to show up. She doesn't have a choice."

  "Unless she runs away and takes Hailey with her."

  "I don't think the Carvers can just run away. Ron is a city councilman."

  "Helen could go on her own. Mitch told me yesterday she'd already started packing but Ron had talked her out of it. What if she left this morning? Was I crazy to just drop her off last night?"

  "Give it a few more minutes."

  "Damn!" He ran a hand through his hair. "I feel like I'm so close and yet so far away."

  "Have you thought about what you're going to say to Hailey?" she asked, hoping to distract him from checking his watch again.

  "I haven't been able to think about anything else. I have a lot I want to tell her, but I also don't want to overwhelm her."

  "It's going to be fine. And don't forget—you have always been good with the ladies."

  He gave her a faint smile. "Thanks for the reminder. And thanks for coming. You're the reason this is even happening. If you hadn't called me last night…"

  "I'm glad that I could help. I know how much this means to you."

  He suddenly stiffened and grabbed her arm. "There she is."

  She turned her head to see Helen walking toward the playground holding the hand of a little girl wearing shorts and a T-shirt, her brown hair up in a messy ponytail. "Go," she said.

  He let go of her arm and started walking toward the swings. He was about ten feet away when Hailey saw him. Her eyes widened and then she released her grandmother's hand and ran to Zach. He fell to his knees and gathered her up in his arms.

  Moisture filled Gianna's eyes at their loving reunion. But when she looked past them and saw Helen watching with a wary, angry gaze, she knew the fight wasn't over yet. Helen had done what she had to do, but she wasn't happy about it.

  Hailey, on the other hand, was thrilled. She was all smiles in Zach's arms, and Gianna could see the poignant emotion on his face. Feeling very much like an intruder now, she turned away. This moment belonged to Zach, and she was going to let him have it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Zach couldn't let go of Hailey, even when she protested he was squeezing her too tight. But he did ease up on the embrace as he gave her a happy smile. She looked good, healthy, and her brown eyes were filled with sparkle. "I'm so happy to see you," he told her.

  "Grandma said you had to go away."

  "I came back as soon as I could."

  "Mommy went to heaven; she can't come back." The light in her eyes faded.

  "I know, baby," he said, sliding his hands down her small arms. "But she's still keeping watch, making sure you're okay."

  "I miss my room. I miss Piggy," she added, referring to the stuffed pink pig he'd given her for her sixth birthday. "Piggy went to heaven, too, after the fire. How come I didn't go?"

  H
is heart twisted at the question. "Because you are meant to be here. You're going to have a long, happy life. Have your grandparents been taking good care of you?"

  She nodded, then darted a quick look at her grandmother before dropping her voice down a notch. "Grandma doesn't like you. Neither does Grandpa. I heard them fighting about you coming back. I was afraid you wouldn't come."

  He heard the worry in her voice and hated that she'd overheard anything. "It's all going to work out."

  "Are you going to live with us?"

  "Not in your grandmother's house, but I'm staying in town. I'm going to get my own place."

  "Can I live there with you?" she asked eagerly.

  He saw Helen flinch at Hailey's question. She'd moved closer, clearly wanting to hear every word. He didn't want to disappoint Hailey or send Helen into a panic, so he decided to play it very carefully. "We'll talk about it later. Do you want to go on the swings?"

  "Will you push me?"

  "Absolutely." He straightened as Hailey ran toward the swing. He met Helen's gaze. "Thank you for bringing her."

  She seemed surprised by his words. "Well, I had to. But you can't let her think she's going to live with you. That's not the deal."

  He didn't bother to answer. There would be plenty of time to talk to Helen. Now, it was all about Hailey.

  He moved over to the swings, laughing as Hailey pleaded to go faster and higher. Once they were done with the swings, it was on to the slides, and then the small rock wall that she easily climbed. Hailey had always been athletic and fearless, nothing at all like her mother.

  It was nice to see her playing and laughing. Maybe the Carvers hadn't been all that bad for her. She seemed to be okay. But Rebecca's problems had all been under the surface. He couldn't judge Hailey's true feelings after a few minutes in the park. He needed to be with her more often. He needed to talk to her every day.

  Helen had been right about one thing. Seeing Hailey once was not enough. He did want more—a lot more.

  Hailey jumped off the rock wall and ran back to him, throwing her arms around his waist and looking up at him with an adorable smile. "Can we get ice cream?" She pointed to the nearby vendor, who was walking through the park selling ice cream sandwiches and popsicles.

  He turned to Helen who had been hovering nearby for the past hour. "What do you think about a Popsicle?"

  "I suppose it will be all right, but we'll need to go after that."

  Hailey's smile turned down. "I don't want to leave, Grandma. I want to stay with Zach."

  As much as he wanted to say he would take her home with him and never let her go, he couldn't do that. Even with his ammunition against Helen, she and Ron had legal custody, and they needed to work things out.

  "I'm still looking for a place to live," he told Hailey. "But you and I are going to spend time together. Your grandparents will make sure of that. They love you very much. And so do I. Now, how about we get a Popsicle?"

  "Okay," she said, taking his hand. She skipped alongside him until they reached the vendor, then chose a raspberry Popsicle. He grabbed an orange one, offering to buy one for Helen, who quickly refused and sat down on a nearby bench.

  He and Hailey took a seat at a picnic table a few yards away. He wanted to keep his time with Hailey as separate from Helen as he could. "Do you have your own room at your grandparents' house?"

  She nodded. "It used to be Uncle Mitch's room. Grandma said I can't stay in Mommy's room, because she sleeps in there."

  "How do you and Grandpa get along?"

  "Good," she said, raspberry juice dripping down her chin.

  He smiled and used his napkin to wipe it off. "Do you have any friends?"

  "Maddie is my friend. She sat next to me in school. I finished the second grade. I'm going to be in third next year."

  "You're getting so old."

  "Where did you go on your trip? Why didn't you call me?"

  "Different places. And I wanted to call you."

  "How come you couldn't?"

  "I just needed a little time."

  "Grandma said you were hurt after the fire and that you had to go away to get better. Are you okay now?"

  He was happy that that was the excuse Hailey had been given. "I'm all better."

  "I missed you, Zach. You didn't even say good-bye."

  His heart tore at the pain in her voice. "I really wanted to. Do you think you can forgive me?"

  "As long as you don't go anywhere else," she told him.

  He wanted to make her that promise, but he couldn't. "You better eat your Popsicle; it's melting fast."

  She giggled as more juice flowed down her face, but she managed to finish the Popsicle in the next two bites.

  "Hailey, we have to go," Helen said, walking over to them.

  "Can you come with us?" Hailey asked Zach.

  "I'm sorry, but I can't. I have to go to work now. I'm building a new summer camp in the woods. You're going to like it. It's going to have a train you can ride."

  "Can I go there?"

  "When it's done, sure. But right now, you have to go with your grandmother." He stood up and pulled her to her feet. "I'll see you soon."

  "When? Tomorrow?" she asked, worry in her eyes.

  "Your grandmother and I will work it out," he assured her.

  At his words, Hailey turned to Helen. "Grandma, when can I see Zach again?"

  "I don't know, honey. We'll talk about it when we're home."

  Hailey got a stubborn look in her eyes, one that reminded him very much of Rebecca. He had a feeling a blowup might be on its way.

  "How about I call you tonight before you go to bed?" he suggested. "I'm sure your grandmother won't mind."

  Helen hesitated, then gave a tight nod. "You can call my phone at eight. I'll make sure she's available to talk to you. I'll give you the number."

  He put her number into his phone, noting that she clearly didn't want him talking to Ron.

  "I'll talk to you tonight, Hailey." He opened his arms and Hailey ran into them again. He hugged her for a long minute, wishing he didn't have to let her go, but he did.

  He forced a smile on his face as she said good-bye and left the park with her grandmother. He watched them until they got into Helen's car and drove away. Then he blew out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

  He was happy that he'd seen Hailey again, that he'd had a chance to tell her he loved her. But where did they go from here?

  There were still obstacles in the way, the main one being Ron. But the wall the Carvers had built around Hailey had cracked, and he was going to tear the whole damn thing down, one brick at a time.

  Gianna yawned as she put on a T-shirt and PJ shorts and climbed into bed just after nine on Monday night. With only a few hours of sleep the night before, and a long, busy day in the store, she was exhausted.

  She was about to put her phone on the nightstand when it buzzed. Zach was calling, and her heart leapt happily at that realization. He'd texted her briefly in the afternoon that things had gone well at the park and he'd call her later.

  "Hello?"

  "I hope it's not too late to call," he said.

  "It's not. How did your time with Hailey go?"

  "It was great. I thought she might be angry or not even care that I had come to find her. But she was as loving as she always was. It was like no time had passed. We spent an hour playing in the park together before Helen pulled the plug."

  She settled back against the pillows. "I'm surprised Helen gave you that much time. Did she interact with you?"

  "No, she hovered nearby. She was definitely listening to our conversation, though. Hailey said she wanted to come and live with me, and I could see Helen flinch."

  "Wow, Hailey said that? That's interesting."

  "She doesn't understand why she can't live with me since we were together for as many years as she can remember."

  "What did you say?"

  "That I was looking for a new place and that I'd be nearby in
the meantime."

  "That was diplomatic."

  "She was sad when Helen made her leave. It broke my heart—again."

  She felt a rush of sympathy for him. "Well, you're in her life now."

  "Only because Helen got drunk and broke into your store. But I'll take it. And I'm not above blackmailing Helen if she tries to stop me from seeing Hailey again."

  "It doesn't sound like she's going to do that."

  "I hope not. She did let me say goodnight to her on the phone."

  "That's something."

  "She had to promise Hailey she would do that or there was going to be a tantrum at the park. Hailey can be stubborn."

  "Does Ron know you saw Hailey?"

  "I don't think so. Helen asked me to call her on her phone. After answering, she immediately gave the phone to Hailey. I'm not sure if she stayed in the room with Hailey or not, but we didn't talk about anything groundbreaking. Hailey was telling me about her day, and her friend Maddie, and the puppy that the neighbors got."

  "It sounds like she's happy enough."

  "She's doing all right, and that's a relief."

  "Did she talk about her mother at all?"

  "Not much. She told me at the park that her mother had to go to heaven along with the stuffed pig I bought her. She wondered why she hadn't gone to heaven, too."

  "That's rough."

  "Yeah, it is," he said, a dark note in his voice. "But tonight she didn't say anything about her mother."

  "Maybe it's good that she's so young. She's not as aware of everything."

  "Helen told me Hailey has nightmares, though. Her fears may come out in the night." He paused. "Do you think it's crazy that I love this kid so much when she's not even mine?"

  "I actually think it's amazing and wonderful that you love her the way that you do. I know families aren't just about blood. My parents had no biological tie to me, but they love me, and I love them. That's what matters."