Always With Me

by Barbara Freethy

"In a second," Keira said with a sparkle in her eye. "Did you kiss Zach again?"

  "Keira," she protested.

  "That's my name, not an answer."

  "I don't kiss and tell."

  "Yes, you do. I've heard about every first kiss you've ever had, and you've heard about mine."

  "First kiss maybe, but not all the rest," she said with a grin.

  "So there have been a lot more—I knew it. You two are smoking hot together. I shouldn't have called you. If I hadn't, you might be ending this night on a very different note."

  "I was not going to sleep with him tonight."

  "Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow…"

  "Stop. I'm not thinking that far ahead."

  "That far ahead?" Keira echoed. "Tomorrow is in like two hours."

  "The truth is…" Her voice fell away as she ran out of words.

  "What?" Keira prodded. "What is the truth?"

  "I don't know what to do about him," she confessed. "I like him—a lot. But it's too soon after everything that happened with Jeff. I should be living like a nun for the next three years."

  "Who says?"

  "It just feels like I'm going to fall again way too fast."

  "Too fast?" Keira challenged. "You fell in love with Zach fourteen years ago. That wasn't your time. Maybe it is now."

  "Right now, I'm going to focus on Chloe. Let's get back to her."

  "Fine. But while you can run away from my questions, you can't escape your feelings."

  "Well, I'm going to try."

  When they returned to the living room, Gianna was stunned to see that Chloe was laughing.

  "What's going on?" she asked.

  "Zach just told me a funny story," Chloe replied.

  "Really?" she asked, turning a questioning gaze on him.

  "It's funnier if you know the army," he said, as he got to his feet. "I'm going to take off now. Do you want a ride home, Gianna?"

  "I'll hang out here for a while. Keira will drop me off later."

  "All right. Chloe, I'll see you later."

  "Thank you, Zach," Chloe said with heartfelt appreciation. "You helped a lot."

  "Any time."

  "I'll walk you out," Gianna offered. When they reached the front door, she said, "Thanks again, Zach. You were amazing and not just with Chloe. Having you with me on this quest for my biological mom meant a lot to me."

  "I'm glad I could be there for you. Will I see you tomorrow?"

  "Maybe. I'm thinking I might paint in the morning, or at least try."

  "At the cove?"

  "We'll see. What about you?"

  "I'll work my way up to the camp at some point, but I want to stop by the Carvers' house in the morning and try to see Hailey."

  "Good luck."

  He gave her a quick kiss. "I'll talk to you soon."

  "Bye." She closed the door after him and walked back into the living room.

  "Did he kiss you good night?" Keira asked, with a mischievous smile.

  "You're acting fourteen again, Keira." She sat down across from Chloe. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

  "Zach is very easy to talk to."

  "He is. I'm happy the two of you could connect."

  "I'm sorry you both had to run over here. I clearly interrupted something between you and Zach."

  "You really didn't. Don't give it another thought."

  "You can both go home. It's late. And I'm tired," Chloe added with a yawn. "I'll be okay. I'll feel better tomorrow."

  "I know you will," she assured her, hoping that tomorrow would bring Chloe a call from Kevin. She glanced at Keira. "Should we go?"

  Keira nodded. "But we're both just a phone call away, Chloe. Remember that."

  "I will. I do need one more favor before you go," Chloe said.

  "What's that?" Gianna asked.

  "Help me to my feet." Chloe extended her arms.

  She laughed and grabbed Chloe's hand, helping her up. Then she gave her a hug, and Keira did the same.

  "No more Zach talk," she said, as she and Keira walked out to the car.

  "I wasn't going to say anything more about him."

  "Good."

  "But I did want to say that I'm glad you're back, Gianna. And I think you should consider staying. I've missed you."

  "I've missed you, too. I don't know what I'm going to do yet."

  "So, Whisper Lake might be an option?"

  "We'll see."

  Chapter Nineteen

  Zach drove to the Carvers' house on Thursday morning, waiting until after nine, hoping that he'd catch Helen and Hailey on their own once Ron was off to work. Besides being on the city council, he also worked as an insurance broker, with an office on Front Street.

  He rang the bell, hoping that Helen would let him in, but he was nervous that his leverage was slipping. He hadn't talked to Hailey at all yesterday and he hadn't seen her since Monday. That was too long.

  The door opened slightly, and Helen peered out, frowning when she saw him. "What are you doing here, Zach? You can't just show up without calling first."

  "I called you twice yesterday; you didn't call back. I want to see Hailey."

  "She's sleeping."

  "No, she's not. She never sleeps past eight."

  As if on cue, he heard Hailey's voice. "Grandma, who are you talking to?"

  He pushed his way into the house. Hailey's face lit up when she saw him. She ran forward, jumping into his arms. "Zach," she said with delight. "You're back. Grandma said you went away on business."

  "Really?" he asked, shooting Helen a pointed look. "Well, I'm here now. Why don't you show me your room?"

  "Okay," she said, taking his hand as she led him down the hall.

  While Hailey was apparently living in Mitch's old room, he had to give the Carvers' credit for making the room suitable for a little girl. There were pink and purple pillows on the bed as well as plenty of toys and books. As Hailey showed him her favorite things, he felt a mix of emotions. He wanted to be happy that she was thriving with her grandparents, but it didn't make the pain of her absence any less.

  He'd already lost six months with her, and she'd changed in that short time. She was bigger. She was more verbal. She was almost a third grader. He could remember when she'd started kindergarten, how she'd held his hand and refused to let go, so he'd spent the first two hours of class sitting with her, feeling like a giant in a sea of five-year-olds and tiny little chairs.

  "Zach?" Hailey asked. "Are you listening?"

  "Sorry. What did you say?"

  "I want to see your new house." A gleam of stubborn determination entered her eyes.

  "I don't have one yet. I'm staying at a hotel in town."

  "Which one?"

  "It's called the Firefly Inn."

  "I know that place. It has a pretty garden."

  "It does," he agreed. "Do you like living here with your grandparents?"

  She nodded. "Yes, but I miss you."

  "I miss you, too," he said, as she gave him another hug.

  "I made you a picture," Hailey said, running over to the desk, then returning with a piece of paper. "It's me and you."

  He glanced at the drawing. It was messy and colorful and incredibly touching. Hailey had drawn stick figures of a man and a little girl and surrounded them with hearts and the word love written a half-dozen times. "This is great."

  "You like it?"

  "I do. You're a wonderful artist." As he said the words, he wished he could take Hailey to meet Gianna. He had a feeling they would immediately hit it off. Hailey had always liked to color, and while she might not be the artist Gianna was, she had enthusiasm and a love for blurring the lines.

  Helen cleared her throat as she came into the room. "Hailey has a play date with her friend Maddie. I need to take her over there. You should have called first."

  "I want to stay with Zach. I'll play with Maddie later," Hailey said.

  "It's okay," he said quickly, not wanting to disrupt her life. "I have to go to work
anyway."

  "Will you come back tonight?"

  "I'll call you before you go to bed."

  Hailey's bottom lip turned down. "I want to see you. Why won't Grandpa let you come over?"

  "We're working things out, honey."

  "What things?" she asked in a plaintive voice.

  "Grownup stuff. But I'll call you, okay? You have fun with Maddie."

  "Get your things together," Helen told Hailey. "I'll walk Zach out and then I'll take you over there."

  He hugged her again and then followed Helen out of the room and down the hall. He urged her to step onto the front porch with him. "What's happening with Ron? Did you tell him I saw Hailey?"

  "Hailey told him. He was very angry. I said we just bumped into you, but I don't know that he believed me. He insisted that I do everything I can to avoid you."

  "That's not going to happen. We need to sit down and talk, all three of us. In fact, maybe Mitch should be there, too."

  "You can't tell them what I did," she said pointedly.

  He gave her a direct look. "I won't—if you help facilitate a meeting. Hailey isn't going to stop wanting to see me. You know that."

  "I have to say I didn't quite realize how attached she was to you."

  "We spent a lot of time together, especially when Rebecca was in rehab. Then it was just the two of us for a month at a time."

  "I would have been there if I had known, but no one saw fit to tell us."

  "That was up to Rebecca. She didn't want you to know, and I had my hands full just convincing her to stay at the clinic and work on her sobriety. I couldn't fight your battle, too. Talk to Ron. I'm around tonight or tomorrow. I'll expect a call from you. If not, I'll be back."

  She sighed and went back into the house without offering him any assurance she would do what he'd asked. But she would do it, because she had to. Hopefully, if he could get them all together, they could hash things out and find a workable compromise, because the current situation was not sustainable. He didn’t want to hurt Hailey more by being around but not really in her life. That would only be more confusing.

  As he got in the truck, he looked down again at the picture Hailey had drawn for him, and his heart ached. There had been times when he'd thought meeting Rebecca had been the worst day of his life, but out of that troubled relationship had come an incredible one with a special little girl.

  And despite the anger he and Rebecca had sometimes felt toward each other, she'd been really happy with the way he'd taken care of Hailey. She would want him to continue doing that. She would want him to fight her parents for that right.

  That's exactly what he was going to do.

  Her muse had woken up. Gianna couldn't believe the drawing taking shape on her canvas. After weeks of nothing, she was suddenly filled with ideas, and she had Zach to thank for her sudden burst of creativity. She'd followed his suggestion that she come to the meadow and paint by their favorite cove, and since arriving she'd been inspired.

  Five hours had passed since she'd set up her easel at seven a.m., wanting to catch the quiet, the early rise of the sun. It was now almost noon. It had been months since she'd been able to lose herself for so long in her art. And it felt good. She'd finally found a way to shut down her critical brain and just paint.

  But while she was happy with her burst of creativity, she was a little less excited with the subject of her painting. Being at the camp had taken her back in time and the teenage couple running through the meadow, their hands almost touching, were definitely an homage to Zach and herself. She could almost feel Zach's fingers brushing against hers as they'd playfully chased each other through the meadow and the trees, ending up at the cove where they'd kissed for the first time.

  She told herself to stop being such a sap, but she couldn't seem to stop.

  The sound of an engine coming down the road made her pulse leap. She'd heard the sound a few times, but up until now no one had ventured in her direction. The lodge and cabins were about three-quarters of a mile away, and she'd parked off the main road, so it was doubtful anyone would know she was here.

  A door slammed.

  Except for Zach, of course. She'd told him she might come to paint this morning.

  And here he was.

  He strode through the trees dressed in worn jeans and a short-sleeved maroon T-shirt, aviator glasses covering his eyes, giving him an even sexier look, if that was possible.

  "You're painting," he said with a happy grin, removing his glasses as he drew close.

  She stepped in front of the easel, blocking her art. "It's a work in progress. No peeking."

  "Seriously? You always used to show me your painting, no matter where you were in the process."

  "That was then. This is now."

  He gave her a speculative look. "You painted us, didn't you?"

  "Why would you say that?"

  "Because you have an embarrassed, guilty look on your face."

  "It's not really us; it's just the spirit of us."

  "Let me see."

  She reluctantly stepped to the side.

  Zach stared at the painting for a long moment.

  "What do you think?" she prodded.

  "I think you're even better than you used to be. And I also think I was one handsome kid."

  She laughed. "Don't pretend you didn't always know you were attractive."

  He grinned back at her. "You said this wasn't us, but I think I see braces on that girl."

  "Fine. It's us. It's our past. Our story. It's because I was here. And the memories felt very vivid. Anyway, I'm happy to be painting again."

  "It's part of who you are, Gianna. You have to keep doing what you love, no matter who you love."

  His words were incredibly wise, but his tone was weary, and she wondered if he wasn't talking to himself as much as he was talking to her. "You look tired, Zach."

  "It was a rough morning. I stopped by the Carvers' house to see Hailey, which was great, but she's asking me questions I can't answer. She wants to know when she's going to see me again, when she can live with me."

  "That can't be easy."

  "It's not. I told Helen she has to set up a meeting with Ron and me and her. We need to work this out."

  "Does Ron know you've seen Hailey?"

  "Yes, and he's angry, which is why Helen is stonewalling. I reminded her that she doesn't have the power—I do. We'll see if she acts, or if I have to force things."

  "I hope she'll do what's best for all of you and that has to be talking."

  "I agree."

  "Speaking of talking…I wanted to thank you again for working your magic on Chloe. She went from tears to laughter in like fifteen minutes."

  "That was probably the pregnancy hormones. Have you spoken to her this morning?"

  "We've texted. She's back at work, of course. But she said you were right about a new day bringing a new attitude. I also hope the day brings a phone call or an email from her husband."

  "That would be great," he agreed. "How long are you staying here?"

  "A little while longer. I told Nora I'd be in around two, so I have some time."

  Zach's gaze moved back to the picture. "God, we were young…and happy."

  "We were."

  He turned back to her, giving her a long look that he followed up with a hard embrace, and a kiss filled with both desire and restraint. It confused her a little.

  "Are you okay, Zach?"

  "I don't know."

  "Is there anything I can do?"

  "Fast-forward and show me everything turns out the way I want it to."

  "I wish I could."

  He gave her a half-hearted smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

  "I don't think you're fine. But I do think that you'll find a way into having a relationship with Hailey. I don't know how or when, but I'm sure it will happen."

  "I hope so." He paused, his gaze darkening. "What about us? What do you think is going to happen with us?"

  His words d
rew a shiver down her arms. She wanted to say nothing, but the way her heart was racing made that seem like a very big lie. "What do you want to happen?" she asked softly, not sure she was ready to hear the answer.

  "I want you back in my life, Gianna."

  She took a quick breath at the bluntness of his words. "I don't know what that would even look like."

  "Don't you?" He tipped his head toward her painting. "It looks like that. Those kids weren't afraid of anything. They followed their hearts, their passion."

  "Because they didn't know what was ahead—how much could go wrong, how difficult life could be. And they broke up, remember?"

  "They were scared to face their feelings. I lied to Tony about mine, and you were quick to believe I was a thief, because that made it easier for you to walk away from me. But before they let fear win, they were happy. I think they could be again—as adults."

  She swallowed a knot in her throat and turned her gaze back to her painting. She'd like to be that happy and joyous again. But could they really recreate what they had?

  "We can't go back in time," she murmured. "And how do we know things wouldn't end up exactly the same way?"

  "We don't. We'd have to take a risk—the risk those two couldn't take." He paused. "But maybe it's not the right time. Maybe we're still not ready. I'm going to head up to the lodge."

  As he turned away, she said, "Wait." The impulsive word came out of her mouth before she could stop it.

  "What?" he asked, a question in his gaze.

  "Is anyone else at the lodge today?"

  "Not right now. Hunter and Cassidy are having lunch in town with Lizzie and her siblings. Why? Do you want to come down to the lodge with me?"

  "No." She licked her lips, nervous excitement bubbling within her. Did she dare to speak the words running around inside her? Could she be that brave? "I don't want to go to the lodge with you," she said slowly. "I want you to stay here. I want…"

  His eyes glittered recklessly in the sunlight. "What do you want, Gianna?"

  "I want us to be fearless again."

  "You do?"

  "Yes. Right now."

  "Here?" he asked in surprise.

  "Why not here? It's our place." She moved forward, putting her hands on his hips as she looked up into his eyes. "I always wanted to make love with you here in this meadow by our beautiful cove. I dreamed it a million times. Want to make one of those dreams come true?"