Always With Me

by Barbara Freethy

  "More than I want to do anything else," he said, sliding his hands through her hair, trapping her face for a long, sweet, promising kiss.

  "I've got a blanket," she said, tipping her head toward grass. "That's all we need."

  He hesitated. "Maybe not all we need."

  "Oh. Right. Protection." She felt like an idiot. "I guess I should be better prepared for spontaneity."

  "That's the opposite of being spontaneous," he said with a small smile. "Fortunately…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Tucked in the billfold was a condom.

  "Well, aren't you quite the Boy Scout."

  "After last night on the beach, I had a hopeful feeling we might end up needing it, and I wanted to be ready. Are we really doing this? Are you sure this is what you want?"

  "Yes," she said, feeling a certainty run through her that she hadn't felt in weeks. "I want to be fearless again, and I want you, Zach. Whatever happens afterward—I don't care."

  "You will care, Gianna."

  "Maybe, but that's for later. I just want to be in this moment with you. Please don't say no."

  His jaw hardened, his eyes filling with emotion, as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against his hard body. "I could never say no to you." He gave her one more hot look and then his mouth was on hers.

  Chapter Twenty

  This kiss was unlike any other they'd exchanged. It was as if a dam had broken. All the pent-up feelings from the past flowed out in a surge of desire that could not be stopped—would not be stopped. Gianna felt like she'd been waiting for this moment for a lifetime, and part of her wanted to go slow, savor every second, while the other part of her was impatient, needy, filled with a sense of urgency to finally be with Zach—no barriers between them, no rules, no restraint.

  Breaking free from their embrace, she pulled her top over her head, feeling not only the warm sun on her skin but also the heat of Zach's gaze. He had always made her feel beautiful, even when she wasn't.

  She reached for the front clasp of her light-pink lacy bra, feeling nervous and excited, a little like that fifteen-year-old girl in the picture, who knew something amazing was almost within reach.

  "You're killing me," Zach muttered, as her fingers fumbled with the clasp.

  "Anticipation is good," she teased.

  "I've been anticipating this for too long. Let me help you." He slid her fingers out of the way as he unhooked the clasp and pulled the edges of her bra apart, his gaze feasting on her breasts, and then his fingers swept across them. "Beautiful—everything about you," he said, raising his eyes to hers. "Not just now—before. You know that, don't you?"

  She slowly nodded. "That's the way you always made me feel."

  He pushed her bra off her shoulders, and she let it fall to the ground. She reached for the hem of his T-shirt, wanting to feel his chest against hers.

  As she helped him pull it over his head, she saw once again the physical scars of his past. Her fingers traced the patchy, white lines, the slightly raised bumps of tissue that should have marred his male perfection but somehow only made him feel that much more real to her.

  She leaned over and put her lips against one of his scars, wanting to ease the pain that still lingered within him. She thought she could take an hour or a day or a week to explore his body, to taste every inch of him. But as Zach's hands ran up and down her bare back, as he nuzzled her neck and flicked his tongue against the curve of her ear, a sense of desperate impatience took over.

  She kicked off her shoes and shimmied out of her shorts while Zach did the same. Then they looked at each other in happy amazement. She would have thought she'd be nervous or shy in the bright light, but she wasn't.

  "I think I'm the luckiest man in the world," Zach said.

  "You always know the perfect thing to say. This feels right."

  "So right," he agreed, pulling her into his arms.

  As they kissed once more, her nerves tingled at every heated connection between them. She loved the power of his body, the urgency of his mouth. They stumbled over to the blanket she'd spread out earlier, never imagining that she'd be using it for this purpose.

  Zach's hands were everywhere—her breasts, her stomach, the warm heat between her legs—and his mouth followed as he teased and tormented her with delicious desire.

  She repaid the favor when he ended up on his back, and she took her time exploring his wonderful male body in every way she'd ever imagined. Touching him, kissing him, loving him in the bright warm sunshine felt freeing and joyful. It had taken forever to get to this moment, to be one with Zach, to be connected so closely, so deeply that she felt like they were two halves of a whole. With her heart pounding, and her body soaring, she knew it had been more than worth the wait.

  Zach wondered how long it would take for his heart to slow down. But a better question might be how long it would be before he wanted Gianna again. He gazed down at the top of her head, her blonde hair lit up in the sunlight as she rested her face on his chest. He could feel the beat of her heart, too—in perfect rhythm with his.

  Being with Gianna had filled all the empty spaces in his soul. He felt like himself again. And he didn't want to let go of the feeling—not now, maybe not ever.

  But he wouldn’t tell her that. They were living in the moment, and he planned on keeping that moment going as long as he could.

  He turned his gaze up to the perfectly blue sky. There wasn't even a speck of a cloud above them. It was just an endless vista of beauty, of hope. Surrounded by the majestic mountains, and the lapping lake just yards away, he felt completely at peace.

  As Gianna had said, this was their place, and he was glad they'd made love here, where the past and the present had come together, where they'd finally come together.

  Gianna let out a sigh and then shifted, raising her head to look at him, as she rested her hand on his chest. "What are you thinking about?"

  He gazed back at her with a smile, feeling a rush of tender possessiveness. He still had a hand on her back, so she couldn't completely move away, and there was a part of him that wasn't sure he could actually let her go. He didn't want to lose her again.

  But that emotional thought was followed by all kinds of pragmatic questions that he had a feeling would be running through her head quite soon.

  "Zach?" she questioned, a gleam of worry moving into her eyes.

  "I was thinking that I wish I had brought two condoms."

  A smile blossomed across her lips. "I was also thinking that. We were good together."

  "Did you really have any doubts?"

  "Maybe not doubts, but you've starred in a lot of my dreams, both past and present. I wasn't sure it would be as good as I always thought it would be, but it was better. It was real."

  "We've always been real," he said quietly, reaching out to pull a twig from her hair.

  She met his gaze. "We have. I've never felt like I had to be anyone else when I was with you. I can't say that about my other relationships."

  "I can't, either. I've always been my best self with you."

  As silence fell between them, her smile faded. "There's a but coming…"

  "No, there's not," he denied.

  "Yes, there is. You're thinking about what's next."

  "I'm not. I didn't know this was next a half hour ago, and I'm happy, so I don't need to know what's next."

  "I've always felt a need to look ahead," she said. "Except for my art, everything else in my life is planned, thought about, forecasted."

  "How has that been working for you?"

  "Not well at all."

  "Maybe we change things up."

  "We could do that. We could let this moment be what it is—a really perfect moment."

  "I like that idea."

  Her lips curved back into a smile. "You've liked a lot of my ideas in the past half hour."

  "You've been quite creative," he agreed.

  "You weren't so bad yourself." She paused as a bee buzzed by, duc
king her head to avoid it. "We should probably get dressed before we get stung or sunburned."

  "Either one would be worth lying naked in the grass with you. One of my best fantasies came true."

  "Mine, too." She sat up as a rumbling sound came from the road. "Oh, my God, that's a car. I thought you said no one was coming up here." She scrambled off the blanket, searching for her clothes.

  "I said Hunter and Cassidy were having lunch. Lunch might be over," he said, checking his watch before scrambling into his jeans. "Maybe they'll go straight to the lodge."

  "Or they'll see your truck and wonder what you're doing out here." She pulled on her shorts and her bra, throwing her shirt over her head.

  He grabbed his T-shirt off the ground and had barely gotten it on when he heard the slam of a car door, followed by voices. "Definitely Hunter and Cassidy," he murmured, looking over at Gianna.

  Her hair was beautifully wild, her face a picture of panic. "You have guilt written all over you." He put on his shoes as she smoothed down her hair and tried to force a normal expression on her face.

  "How's that?" she asked.

  "Better," he said with a smile. "Just be happy they didn't come by when we might have been too busy to hear the car."

  "That would have been fun to explain."

  "Hey, there," Hunter called out with a wave, as he came through the trees with Cassidy. As he moved closer, he said, "What's going on down here? I saw your truck on the side of the road, Zach."

  "Gianna came to paint, and I…I'm just enjoying her painting," he said, stumbling over his answer.

  Hunter gave him a speculative look. "Okay." Then he turned to Gianna. "I'm glad you're here. This is my fiancée, Cassidy Ellison. This is Gianna. She's an old friend of Zach's and a local girl."

  "It's nice to meet you," Cassidy said with a smile. "What are you painting?" She moved toward Gianna's easel. "This is pretty. It feels carefree."

  "It's how I remember summers here at the camp," Gianna said.

  "Are those teenagers supposed to be you two?" Hunter asked, a smile now lurking in his eyes when he looked at Zach.

  "Don't ask me; I didn't paint it," he said.

  "It's not anyone per se," Gianna answered. "It's just art. But Zach and I did come here a lot the summer we were at camp together. It was one of my favorite places to paint. I've been a little blocked when it comes to art lately, and I thought this meadow might inspire me again. It was actually Zach's idea." She gave Hunter a quick look. "I know I'm trespassing. I hope it's okay."

  "It's absolutely okay," Hunter said. "You're really talented. Your picture is only half done, but it's already so detailed."

  "There's a lot I still need to do."

  "Well, feel free to come out here whenever you want," Hunter added.

  "I can see why you were inspired," Cassidy said, sweeping her hand toward the view. "This area is beautiful. Every time I turn around, I seem to find a new place of beauty. I feel so lucky to be here." She walked back to Hunter, and he slung his arm around her.

  "We're both lucky," Hunter said, exchanging a warm look with Cassidy. Then he turned back to them. "I don't know if Zach told you, Gianna, but Cassidy and I were high school sweethearts. It took us a long time to come back together."

  "I didn't realize that," Gianna said.

  "Second chances can be good, as long as you don't let them go by without acting on them," Hunter added, letting his words sit for a moment. "Anyway, we better get up to the lodge. Lizzie is on her way. She wants to give me some decorating and paint color advice."

  "It's going to be a family affair," Zach said with a laugh. "I'll be right behind you."

  "Take your time. And Gianna, please stay as long as you like."

  "I actually have to get to work this afternoon, but thanks."

  As Hunter and Cassidy moved out of sight, he gave Gianna a smile. "You can breathe again."

  "That was a little too close."

  "Most great moments come with risk. But don't forget it was your idea to get naked out here."

  "I don't regret it, Zach," she said, looking him straight in the eye. "I'll never regret it, no matter what happens next."

  He was very happy to hear that; he just hoped it was the truth. "I feel the same way. I hate to leave, but I should get up to the lodge."

  "Go. I'm going to clean up and head out, too."

  "Do you need help?"

  "No."

  He stepped forward and slid his arms around her waist. "One kiss for the road?"

  She lifted her face to his, and he took a kiss that he really hoped wouldn't be the last one.

  "Did you hear me?"

  Gianna looked at the irritated elderly woman standing at the counter and realized she'd been daydreaming again. It had been happening all afternoon, ever since she'd come back from the camp. She might not still be with Zach, but she couldn't stop thinking about him, couldn't stop remembering how great they had been together.

  "What is wrong with you?" the woman asked, tapping the counter with her wallet. "Are you going to sell me these candlesticks or not?"

  "I'm sorry. I'm a bit distracted today."

  "Clearly."

  She took the woman's credit card and wrapped up the candlesticks, breathing a sigh of relief when that was done. There was only one other woman browsing in the store and it was almost five. As soon as that customer left, she was turning the sign to Closed.

  She couldn't wait for the day to be over. Even though she'd only been at work since two, it felt like forever. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to be able to think and dream.

  A smile crossed her lips as Zach's image flashed through her head, and her body tingled at the memories. She could still taste him on her lips, still feel his arms around her, and a surge of giddy happiness ran through her. She knew she was dancing on a dangerous precipice, but damn if it didn't feel good.

  "I'll take this," the woman said, bringing a music box to the counter. "It reminds me of one I used to have."

  "It's one of my favorite pieces. I'm glad you like it."

  The woman opened the lid, letting the dancing girl inside do another twirl before she closed it. "I loved ballet when I was a little girl. Gosh, it was so long ago," she added with a helpless smile.

  "It's never too late to dance."

  The woman laughed. "My friend Jill always says that, but we're both middle-aged women now. What are we going to do—take ballet with a bunch of little girls in tutus?"

  Her heart skipped a beat. "You said your friend, Jill. Would that be Jill Harper by any chance?"

  Surprise ran through the woman's eyes. "Well, yes, she used to be Jill Harper. She's Jill Kenner now."

  Gianna reached into her bag for the picture she'd been carrying around. "Is this her?"

  The woman picked up the photo. "Oh, wow. This is from a long time ago. Where did you get it?"

  "From the summer camp. After the owner died, we got some of the things left behind."

  "The camp, of course. I should have recognized the background. Jill had a love-hate relationship with Echo Falls Camp. She loved being outdoors and all the activities, but her mother being there kind of weighed her down. She could never get into as much trouble as the other kids." The woman paused. "Is something wrong? You look funny."

  She debated what to say and how to say it. But in the end, she decided it was time to be blunt. "Do you know if Jill was pregnant when she was a teenager? If she had a baby that she gave up for adoption?"

  The woman's face paled. "Why—why would you ask me that?"

  She pointed to the locket on Jill's neck. "I was adopted as an infant and the only thing that came with me was a locket like that one. I was told it belonged to my biological mother. But the adoption was closed, and the records were lost. I've been trying to find out if Jill might be my mother."

  "Oh, God! I don't know what to tell you."

  She saw the truth in the woman's eyes. "She had a baby, didn't she?"

  "I can't say. I shouldn'
t say."

  "Then don't. Just tell me where I can find her. I'll ask her myself."

  "What—what do you want from her?"

  "I just want to know who she is. I don't want to ruin her life or be a problem. I simply want to meet her." Her heart was pounding so fast, she had to force herself to breathe. "Can you help me out?"

  "I'm not sure."

  "Please. I really need this."

  "Well, I suppose I can give her your name and your number, and then she can decide. That's all I can do."

  She pulled a sheet off a nearby memo pad. She scribbled her name and number down and handed it to the woman. "What's your name?"

  "Tammy Cooper."

  "Tammy," she echoed. "I should have figured."

  "What does that mean?"

  "My friend's mother, Ruth, mentioned you and Jill were friends."

  "Ruth was my sister's best friend."

  "Thank you for helping me. I can't express how much it means to me."

  "I don't know what Jill will say," Tammy said worriedly. "Maybe don't get your hopes up. Jill is married. She has two daughters. I don't think they know anything."

  "Please tell her that I don't want to cause her any trouble, but if she'd be willing to talk to me, I'd love that."

  "When were you born?"

  "October second."

  Tammy nodded. "And you're how old?"

  "Twenty-nine."

  Tammy put the paper into her purse. "Okay. I'll do my best." She started to leave, then paused. "Do you still have the locket?"

  "No, I lost it a long time ago."

  "Too bad. It was one of Jill's most treasured possessions."

  "Mine, too," she whispered, as Tammy left the store.

  After the door closed, she put both hands on the counter, feeling suddenly weak. She drew in a couple of deep breaths, but they didn't help much. Her mind was racing with questions.

  Would Jill be shocked to know she was looking for her? Would she lie like her mother had done? Would she agree to see her? Was this the beginning or the end?

  The door chime pealed once more, and she jumped, hoping Tammy hadn't come back to say she'd changed her mind. She was ready to tell whoever walked through the door that they were closed, but it was Zach.