Beauty from Ashes: Authors & Dancers Against Cancer Anthology

by Vera Quinn

  Holding my door open for me, I slide in and he closes it and climbs in the front seat. At first, we butted heads, my wanting to do what I want without a babysitter and his wanting to go everywhere with me, protecting me, having my back.

  Then one day he sat me down and explained to me that he isn’t my babysitter, that he’s only here to keep me safe. He said he can dress for any occasion to blend in if I want, but steadily told me I’m not to go anywhere without him. After having that conversation, I realized he was honest to his word and only cared for my wellbeing, so I quit trying to sneak away without him.

  “Girl you’re killing it. This one’s sold out too. Only three more shows after this. What do you want to do for your break this time? How about we travel? Italy? Greece? Ireland?” Jeff asks from the front seat.

  “I was thinking we’d go home to Colorado for a few months. I don’t know why, but I’m homesick. I need a recharge,” I reply.

  “I can understand that. My mom will expect us for dinner at least once while we’re home, ya know?” He chuckles.

  Smiling at the thought of a home-cooked meal, I say to him, “I can’t wait. Maybe we can get her to come stay at the house with us for a few weeks.”

  “She may just take you up on that. We can call her after the show and give her dates so that she can get a bag ready. She’ll want to bring Bandit, too, you know that, right?” he answers.

  Clapping my hands together in excitement, I exclaim, “Oh, I’d love that. I love Bandit. He and I are cuddle buddies. Yes, let’s call her after the show and give her the good news!”

  We pull up to the venue, noticing fans are already lined up outside ready for the show. I’m still not feeling too good but, as always, I’ll push through it because they make it all worth it. Now to get through sound check and tonight’s performance, then off to the next city for our next performance. The life of a vocalist/songwriter; there’s always something going on.

  Walking in, Donna catches me. “Lulu, did you get any sleep?”

  “Yes, ma’am, it’s why I’m late. I overslept. Honestly, I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

  “That’s okay, we’re gonna do a short sound and light check. Then you can drink some more tea.”

  “Okay, sounds good.”

  We completed the routine checks, then I went off to my tour bus to rest before my performance. I’ve never felt this awful. Damn, maybe Donna’s right in sending me to the doctor. Hopefully they can get me back on my feet.

  Chapter Two

  Lulu

  Dallas, Texas…

  Jeff and I approach the receptionist desk, I check in, “Hi, I have an appointment with Dr. Shandi at one-thirty.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Your manager called ahead to let us know of your arrival. If you would just follow me, we’ll get your vitals, then get you into a room,” the receptionist replies.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Also, I hate to bother you, but can I get an autograph for my daughter? She’s your biggest fan and has every album you’ve ever released. Plus, she found some videos of you on YouTube from your open mic days and knows all the words to all your songs too. She’d probably faint if she were here,” she asks shyly as she takes my vitals.

  “Absolutely, just remind me on my way out. I’d be happy to and I think Jeff has a few copies of my new CD down in the car. I’ll send him down for one.” We follow her to the exam room.

  Cheerfully, she nods. “Thank you. The doctor will be right in.” With that she walks out, closing the door behind her.

  “Jeff, do we have any merchandise with us? It’d be cool to give her a little something extra for her daughter,” I inquire.

  Jeff nods. “We have a couple tees, a poster, some CDs and you have some extra backstage passes and VIP tickets left too. Want me to go down and grab stuff for her and her daughter along with tickets for tonight?”

  “See, this is why we work well together. Yes, let’s do that. Get them some merchandise and tickets for the show! I love meeting my biggest fans. They are why I do this.”

  Knock. Knock.

  Jeff opens the door to let the doctor in.

  “Hi, doc, thanks for getting me in. I’m really worried because I’m not getting any better and Donna’s tried all the home remedies.”

  “Well let's get some swabs, get a look at those tonsils and see what we can find.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m game.”

  We went about discussing my medical history. Then she did a strep swab and ordered some blood work. They do their blood work in-house so that makes it easier to avoid being seen going into a lab. The less the public sees, the less of a chance that rumors will fly. The tabloids love to speculate and expose as much of your personal life as possible when you’re a public figure.

  I finished up my blood work while Jeff went down to get the merchandise for the receptionist. When Jeff returned with the stuff, I wandered down the hall to find her.

  “Excuse me, I wanted to personally give these to you. I was going to sign them but then realized I don’t know you or your daughter’s names.” I smile.

  “Oh my God, thank you. You’re too kind. I’m Jaci and my daughter’s name is Victoria, Tori for short,” she says in complete surprise.

  Going about signing the shirts, poster and CD, I say, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jaci, and I can’t wait to meet Tori tonight after the concert. Here are two VIP tickets and backstage passes. Bring her down and enjoy the show, on me.” I hand her two signed tickets and signed backstage passes.

  “Are you serious? Holy shit.” She slaps her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, excuse my language. My daughter will most definitely freak out! This is so amazing, thank you.” She hugs me.

  “No need to apologize. I love the rawness and realness of your response. It’s what makes doing this that much better. I look forward to seeing you tonight.” I hug her back before heading out.

  “That was really nice of you. You just made their day, shit, probably their year,” Jeff points out.

  “It’s such a great feeling too.” I smile.

  We head to the hotel so I can shower and change for tonight’s performance. Once I’m done getting ready, Jeff and I head to the venue.

  Once inside, Donna greets us, “So, how was the appointment?”

  “They did some blood work, swabbed for strep and I’m being treated for laryngitis. She said for me to also continue wearing my scarf while off stage and to drink your honey tea.” I chuckle.

  “Antibiotics?”

  “Yes, ma’am, and liquid lidocaine to use when I want to eat.”

  “Okay, awesome. Let’s get through these checks, then you can nap on the bus until showtime.”

  “Awesome.”

  I head to center stage to get the checks done. Once all done, Jeff escorts me out to the bus where I nap again before showtime. Hopefully these antibiotics are the answer and I start feeling better soon. I’m so tired of being tired and sick.

  “Phenomenal show, yet again, Lulu.” Jeff congratulates me as he hands me my scarf and a cup of tea. “Donna’s orders”

  “Thank you. This one felt good. Where’s our guest of honor?” I put on my scarf and sip my tea.

  Jeff turns around and waves at one of the stagehands. “Send them out.”

  I wave as I see Jaci and a beautiful young girl about twelve or thirteen years old with gorgeous curly brown hair and crystal blue eyes walking towards us. “Hey, Jaci, good to see you again. And you must be Tori. It’s such an honor to meet my biggest fan,” I say as I reach my hand out to her.

  “Can I hug you?” she asks nervously.

  “Absolutely.” I wrap her in a big bear hug.

  “I love you, and you’re so pretty,” she replies with a big smile on her face as I release her.

  Taking her hand, we walk together to the VIP lounge, where other fans and the band are. “Well, thank you, you’re so polite. And you’re also very pretty. So, what do you want to be when you grow up?�
��

  “I want to be you. I sing all the time, especially if your songs are on.”

  “Would you be interested in singing with me later? I’d love to hear ya sing.”

  “Really? I’d love to. Oh, Momma, did you hear that? I get to sing with Lulu. You gotta record it, no one will ever believe me!” she joyfully exclaims to her mom.

  Jaci mouths Thank you to me. I simply nod as we enter the VIP lounge. Walking through, I stop for pictures and autographs here and there but never release Tori’s hand. We make it back to where Donna is and sit on the big leather couch that’s reserved for me.

  Pulling out my guitar, I strum a little before looking at Tori. “Ready to sing?”

  She claps excitedly. “Yes, ma’am.”

  With that, we go about singing a few of my songs, then I let her perform one all on her own. Damn, this girl is good. Another reminder of why I love performing—the joy of watching others enjoy my words.

  We go on for a few more songs, then Jaci announces that they’ve gotta get going. We hug and I exchange numbers with Tori. We’ve vowed to be text buddies.

  “You did a good thing, love. You also made a friend for life,” Jeff points out.

  “Thank you. I’m so glad to have done so too.” I smile.

  Little did I know at the time, but this girl would save my life one day.

  “Okay pop star, time for you to get some sleep too. The bus is all loaded and you can sleep while we head to the next venue. I’m gonna meet you there,” Donna interrupts.

  “Yes, ma’am. See you in a couple days.” I hug Donna then head to the bus.

  Crawling into my bed that's in a private suite in the back of the bus, I pull my fuzzy blanket up near my face and get comfortable. It’s been a long tour this time around. I may need more time off before the next tour. I’d rather my health be a hundred percent before going back out on the road.

  Chapter Three

  Lulu

  Wow, finally reaching the end of my tour feels like I’ve been on the road for two years, when really it’s only been nine months. One more show tonight, here in Colorado, my home state, then I can head home to Estes Park and sleep in my big comfy bed.

  Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

  My thoughts are interrupted by my phone. I pick it up, answering without even checking the caller ID. “Good morning, Donna. Please tell me you’re bringing me coffee?”

  “Good morning, Lulu. Actually it’s Dr. Shandi, I got your lab results in and was wondering if you have a moment to talk,” the doctor replies.

  “Oh, hi Dr. Shandi. Sure, what’s up? Everything ok?” I inquire.

  “No, unfortunately things aren’t okay. We found some abnormalities in your blood work and need to run more tests. Is there any way for you to come back to Dallas this week?”

  “Abnormalities? What does that mean?”

  “I’d rather we talked about this in my office. Could you be here by Monday afternoon?”

  “Um, yea, okay. I’ll have Donna make the arrangements and be there Monday.”

  “Okay, great, we’ll see you then.” And with that, she hangs up.

  Well that was weird. Quickly realizing I need to have Donna make travel arrangements, I hit her number on speed dial.

  “Good morning, sunshine. I was just heading over with coffee. Did you need anything else?” she asks.

  “Morning, um, no. Coffee will do. Hey, but I do need you to get me a flight to Dallas for Monday. I have an appointment Monday afternoon with Dr. Shandi to discuss my labs and run more tests. She said they found some abnormalities in my blood work so she wants to run them again,” I inform her.

  “Oh, okay. Yea, I can do that. I’ll be there in ten. Let me get off here and call the airline.”

  “Okay, sounds good. I’m jumping in the shower but Jeff is out there so he can let you in. See you soon.” I hang up and go to get a shower.

  I wonder what she means by abnormalities. That can’t be good. Is this not laryngitis? Is it strep? No, it can’t be strep, she would’ve just told me over the phone and called in some meds.

  Shit.

  Boarding my flight, I’m extremely nervous. I already hate going to the doctors as it is, now this abnormal blood work bullshit is making it worse. Before shutting off my phone, I shoot my favorite girl a message,

  Me: Gonna be in town for the day, let's do dinner. Tell Mom, my treat.

  Tori: Really? Sounds awesome, I’ll tell Mom. I love you, see you tonight.

  Me: I love you, too. Can’t wait to see you.

  I smile as I slide my phone into my bag and prepare for takeoff.

  After a two-hour flight, I make it safely to Dallas. Jeff grabs our carry-on baggage, and we head to the doctor’s office. Donna was supposed to meet us at the airport but is meeting us at the doctor's office instead.

  She lives here in Dallas when we’re not on tour, although she comes up to Estes Park for the holidays with me and stays long weekends too. She’s like a second mother even when we’re not on tour. She manages just about every aspect of my life, except the dating scene. That I control myself.

  Pulling up to the doctor’s office, I begin to feel uneasy. My nerves are all over the place and I feel an anxiety attack coming on. I take a minute before exiting the car to try and calm myself.

  Stop freaking out, Lulu, it’s just lab work.

  Donna approaches the car. “Are you ready, love?”

  Finally calming my breathing, I climb out of the car. “It’s not like I have much of a choice. She made it sound as though this was urgent.”

  We head up to the doctor’s office and are greeted by Jaci, “Lulu, welcome back. I hear we have dinner plans tonight?”

  “Yes, ma’am, if that's alright with you of course.”

  “Absolutely. Tori’s been looking forward to it all weekend. I’ll have her text you our address and you can come over for a home-cooked meal!”

  “Oh, that sounds amazing. I’ll take that over any restaurant any day.”

  “Sweet, let’s get your vitals and get you into a room. The doctor’s running about ten minutes behind, but she should be here shortly.”

  “Oh, no morning appointments?”

  “No, we’re usually closed on Mondays because we’re open on Saturdays. So, for your privacy and such, she decided to have you come in today.”

  Looking at Jeff and Donna, I can see the concern on their faces. “Oh, um, okay.”

  By the time we finish my vitals and she escorts me into a room, the doctor has arrived, meeting us in there.

  “Afternoon, Lulu. How are you feeling today?” she asks.

  “Not as bad, but still extremely exhausted. I’m definitely glad the tour is over. So, what kind of abnormalities did you find?” I lean forward inquiring.

  “Lulu, I need you to stay calm, okay?”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  She kneels before me, taking my hand into hers. “Lulu, it’s cancer. I’m not sure of the exact source, but it’s most likely Laryngeal cancer. I can’t tell you what stage or what’s the best treatment until we run some more tests. But I just want you to be prepared, both mentally and emotionally.”

  I look her in the eyes, as my tears start to fall.

  Cancer. Fuckin’ Cancer.

  My whole life as I know it is about to change.

  Chapter Four

  Lulu

  Finishing dinner, I leave Jeff to help Jaci clear dishes and go with Tori as she takes me on a tour of her room. We reach the top of the steps and enter the first door on the right. It’s definitely a room built or decorated for a little diva.

  The walls are a pastel pink with a lavender trim. Her full-sized bed is covered in pink and white pillows with a beautiful soft, fuzzy pink blanket. Teddy bears and a stuffed piggy are propped up against the pillows.

  She has posters of me, Elvis Presley, Loretta Lynn, Reba McIntyre and Blake Shelton all over her walls, as well as some printed pictures of us together at the after party. There’s a desk in the corner
that holds a desktop computer and her backpack hangs from the wooden chair.

  Next to her desk is a large bookshelf filled with books from all genres. I remember when I was a kid, all I did in my free time was swing in the backyard and read. I wasn’t much for making friends since we moved so often because Daddy was a General in the US Marine Corps.

  “I’m honored to be on your walls. Your room is so beautiful. No barbies or baby dolls?” I point out.

  “I’ve never liked Barbie’s or baby dolls. I love books though and music. You can escape to anywhere you want through a book. It’s my favorite way of travel.”

  “I used to love to read like that when I was your age too. I still love reading, just don't get to do as much when I’m touring because Donna usually has me on a strict schedule. But I’m looking at a lot of extra time on my hands now, so I think I may have to pick up some new books from Books-A-Million.”

  “Momma said you came to town ‘cause you had some appointments. How long are you here for?”

  “I’m going to be in town for a couple weeks. Donna’s renting me a place to stay while I’m here.”

  “Oh really? Maybe we can have a sleepover.”

  “I’d love that. Let’s plan that for this weekend!”

  “Yes!” she exclaims as she gives me the biggest, tightest hug ever.

  We head downstairs to discuss it with her mom.

  “Mom, can I have a sleepover with Lulu at her new house this weekend? She says she’s staying in town for a little while,” Tori asks with puppy dog eyes and a pleading voice.

  “Lulu, are you sure? I know you have a lot going on,” Jaci asks with a look of concern on her face..

  “Absolutely. We may have a lot of these in the future.” I smile.

  “Lulu, are you okay?” Tori asks with concern in her tone.