Beauty from Ashes: Authors & Dancers Against Cancer Anthology

by Vera Quinn

  “Tori, let's sit down. I want to tell you something. We’re friends and you deserve to know the truth,” I say inviting her to sit down next to me.

  “Oh, okay. What’s up?”

  “Well, the appointments I’m in town for are serious and important because… Because I have cancer.”

  “What?”

  “We just found out this afternoon, so we don’t know what stage or what’s next. But I’m gonna fight it with everything I have until my last breath.”

  “Well you can count on me; I’ll be here to cheer you up. That’s what friends and family are for.”

  “You’re very wise for your age, you know that?” I pull her into a hug as tears run down my face.

  This little girl has quickly stolen my heart. I don’t have much of a family anymore since my parents passed away seven years ago. But I’ve been lucky enough though to have a manager and bodyguard who are also family now. My wellbeing is more important to them than the paycheck they get from me.

  “Lulu, can we talk after Tori goes to bed?” Jaci asks.

  “Absolutely,” I smile.

  “Thank you, You’re welcome to stay here tonight too if you’d like. You can crash with Tori and Jeff can sleep on the couch if he wants,” she offers.

  “That sounds nice but I have an early appointment so we’re gonna head back to the hotel for tonight. We can talk over the phone if you wanna just give me a call later.”

  “Okay, yea, I can do that.”

  “Thank you so much for dinner and for the tour of your room. I’m gonna get going now but will be in touch about this weekend! Jaci, I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Goodnight, Lulu. I love you,” Tori says as she wraps me in another hug.

  I hug her back. “Oh, Tori, I love you, too,” I tell her as the tears start to fall again.

  Jeff touches my arm, letting me know the car has arrived and we finish saying our goodbyes before leaving and heading to the hotel. With everything that’ll be happening in the upcoming weeks, it’s nice to know my support system is strong.

  “Jeff, I don’t know if I tell you enough, but I appreciate and am thankful for you,” I say, patting him on the shoulder.

  “Lulu, I’m thankful and appreciative of you, too. I’m happy to be a part of your life. I know we bumped heads in the beginning, but I’ve grown to love you as though you’re my daughter.” As he helps me out of the car, he pulls me into a hug. “And just like Tori said, I, too, will be right here with you every step of the way.”

  Tears falling freely as I hug him back. “Jeff, you and Donna are the best family a girl could ask for.” I pull away and start to walk into the hotel. Wanting to shift the conversation, I ask, “So, what’s going on with you and Jaci? Y’all seemed pretty cozy when Tori and I came downstairs.”

  “That’s nothing. We had a good conversation and found we have a lot in common.”

  “Hmm, nothing, huh? Didn’t look like nothing.” I wink.

  “Lulu, behave. She’s becoming a good friend.”

  “Jeff we’re not on tour, you can date again. I don’t want to stand in the way of that.”

  “Lulu, you’re my main concern right now. If something happens, well then, I’ll let nature take its course. Otherwise, I’m not looking to date right now.”

  “Okay, well I see nature pulling you into Jaci’s web, and I think it’s cute. I approve,” I say as we get on the elevator.

  He chuckles. “You approve, girl? I don’t need that. I’m the father here.”

  “Uh huh, whatever you say, Dad.” I laugh hysterically as we get out and head inside.

  Yep, he’s totally interested in Jaci. Good. That’s all I want for my people. They’re gonna need each other through all of this. Wednesday or Thursday, we should have the test results and know where we go from here. That’s when the real battle will begin.

  Chapter Five

  Lulu

  “Okay, Lulu, I’ve got some good news. First, it’s a stage 3 tumor, but it’s operable. My treatment plan is we go in and surgically remove the tumor, then do a round of chemotherapy to kill any cells that are left behind.”

  “Will I ever sing again?”

  “That is something I can’t guarantee. But I think with your will and determination, you can.”

  “Okay, what’s the other news?”

  “We can do surgery next week, on Thursday afternoon. You’ll check in that morning and we’ll get all your preoperative tests done. Then after surgery, we’ll have you stay for a while until you’ve had your first run of chemo.”

  “Wow, that’s quick. Donna, what do you think?”

  Sitting forward and taking hold of my hands, she looks me in the eyes. “Sweetie, this is ultimately your decision, but I think the faster you get treatment started, the better chance you have of beating it. Once you’ve finished all your chemo, once you’re ready of course, we’ll start therapy on your voice. But this is something you have to decide for yourself.”

  Looking over at Jeff, I ask, “Do you agree?”

  Tears fall silently down his cheeks as he simply nods his agreement.

  I turn slowly to the doctor, trying to control my emotions but quickly failing. Swallowing slowly, I respond. “Okay, doc, let’s do it. Donna’s right, the sooner I get started, the sooner I can get back to doing what I love.”

  “Lulu, the surgery is the easy part. The real fight begins in recovery. You’re strong and I know you’ll get through this. I’m gonna be here every step of the way right along with your family.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Shandi. Donna will make all the arrangements for next week. I’ve got a sleepover to prepare for. I’ll see you at check-in.” I shake her hand and head out, leaving Donna to discuss all the details.

  I’m already panicked enough about the surgery and chemo that I don’t want to hear the other stuff she has to say. I know the seriousness of the situation, but I need to keep a level head so I’m avoiding all medical mumble jumble. For me, it makes it easier to handle without slipping into a deep depression.

  I won’t lie; I’m scared out of my mind. My voice is my life.

  Then, suddenly, the realization that my last tour may have been my last tour brings me to my knees. Jeff comes up behind me as I’m on my knees, crying in the waiting room and wraps me in his arms.

  “Luella Marie, don’t you dare. Don’t you dare give in to that fear. We’re going to get through this. Together.” He holds me tight and lets me cry.

  “I don’t know if I’m strong enough. I don’t think I have the fight in me.” Crying harder, I squeeze his arms.

  “But that’s where you’re wrong. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re one of the strongest women I know. With all you’ve overcome through life, this too shall pass.” He lifts me up into a standing position. “Now, let’s walk out of here with our heads held high and head home. You’ve got a sleepover to get ready for, remember.”

  “Okay, you’re right.” I wipe my face. “Is my makeup okay?”

  “Gorgeous as always.” He winks.

  “Thank you, Jeff. Let’s go home.”

  We leave just as he said–our heads held high. The awaiting paparazzi catch us as we exit the doctor’s office. They snap a few pictures and shout questions but I just ignore them. They’re the least of my worries. Although, I may need to hold a press conference before the rumors begin.

  “Jeff, call Donna and let her know we need to hold a press conference releasing a statement to my fans.”

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “I’ve never held anything back from them; I won’t start now. I’d rather them hear it from me than the rumor mill of tabloids.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll give her a call when we get back to the condo. Do you want to pick up anything before we head home?”

  “Chinese, pretty please? I’ve been dying for some General Tso’s and white rice. Oh, and some crab rangoon. Don’t forget the wonton soup.”
/>   “Hungry or stress eating?”

  “Starving.” I smile.

  “Okay good. Yea, we can stop for that and some ice cream. I want a banana split.”

  “Yummy, make that two.”

  We stop and get the food and dessert, then head home. Once home, I curl up on the couch with my food and watch sappy love stories the rest of the day. We moved into the condo over the weekend and Donna was sure to have some of my things from my home in Colorado shipped in so that the condo feels more like home. Tomorrow’s my big sleepover with Tori. I can’t wait. I get to give her the good news. I asked Jaci to let me be the one to tell her.

  Over the course of the last month, time has zipped by. With the ending of my tour, the doctor’s appointments and being sick, it almost seems as though time has crept by but in all actuality, that's how the life of a performer goes. For us, time seems to creep by but really, it's so go, go, go that we don’t notice how quickly time flies.

  The other night after she went to bed, Jaci called me just as she promised. She blessed me with an amazing gift. When she asked me, I was so honored, I went the next morning and put some things in motion.

  Tori’s going to be so surprised. I can’t wait to see her face. I hope she likes it.

  Chapter Six

  Lulu

  Donna set up the press conference for Monday morning outside my condo. She says I should enjoy my weekend with Tori, who should be here any minute.

  I’m so nervous to give her the news, but I’m also so excited. I hear car doors and know she’s arrived. I run to the door to greet her.

  Pulling the door open, I hold my arms open. “Tori, you’re finally here. I’m so excited for our sleepover.”

  She runs into my arms and gives me a huge hug. “Lulu, I’ve missed you. How are you? How did it go with the doctor?”

  “Come inside, we’ll talk about it. Doctor says my chances look good though. You worry too much for a teenager.” I lead her into the living room.

  Jeff comes in and sets her bags down. “Ladies, let me know when you’re ready for dinner and I’ll order us some pizza,” he says, then heads back to his room.

  “Does Jeff live here too?” she asks as we plop down on the couch.

  Pulling my legs up under me, getting comfortable, I reply, “Tori, before we talk about the doctor’s appointment, I wanna talk to you about something else. And yes, Jeff lives wherever I do. He’s my live-in bodyguard.”

  “Okay, what’s up?”

  Looking at her, my hands start to shake, and I begin to fiddle with my fingers. “Tori, very quickly in just the last month, you’ve become very important to me.”

  “You’re my best friend, Lulu.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way. I’m an only child and never even had any stepsiblings to play with. But you’re the next best thing. I love the bond we’re forming; I love the fire you have in you. So, although I can’t legally adopt you, your mom blessed me with the next best thing. Tori, your mom has made me your godmother, with your approval of course. I’d like to also mentor you in becoming a vocalist. You’ve got talent and I want to help you make your dreams come true.”

  She jumps into my arms. “Yes, oh my God, yes. I’d love for you to be my godmother. Oh man, all the girls at school will be so jealous when they find out that my godmother is Luella Drake. Everyone will want to be my friend then. I’ll be the most popular girl in school.” She laughs.

  “But you must promise you’ll never change. Let’s not let that popularity go to your head. Pinky promise?” I smile as I reach out my pinky.

  “I pinky promise. This is the best day ever.”

  “Well Monday will be the best day because that’s the day I introduce you to the world as my prodigy.” I pull out the papers and hand them to her.

  “What do I do with these?”

  “Jeff, can you bring your notary stuff out?” I holler toward the bedrooms. “You sign them. Your mom already signed them giving me consent for the mentorship program. Jeff will witness you signing them and notarize them to make them legal. Then we send them to the courts to be filed. This is your first contract.”

  “Wow, this is so awesome,” she says as she watches Jeff set up his notary stuff.

  She and I sign on the dotted lines and hand them over to him so he can stamp and sign as well.

  “Okay, and now for the doctor's diagnosis. I’m stage three, but it’s an operable tumor. I go in next Thursday to have it removed. Then I’ll do a round of chemo to ensure anything left behind isn’t able to spread.”

  “So, what’s Monday for then?”

  “On Monday, I’ll hold a press conference breaking the news to my fans of the cancer but also show them I’m going to fight, I’m not giving up. Then to brighten the mood, I’ll announce I have a new little sister that's on her way to stardom.”

  “Stardom, what do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’m going to help you realize your dreams of performing. Once we get through this treatment and I get back in the studio, we’re going to record an album. Your album.”

  “Wait, are you for real? Is this for real?”

  I chuckle. “Yes, I’m going to spend these next few months or however long my treatment and recovery takes teaching you to write songs and play the piano.”

  “Freakin’ awesome.”

  We sit and giggle while discussing movies and boys. Jeff goes and gets us pizza and some soda. We spend the rest of the weekend being lazy in our pjs, watching movies, doing mani-pedis, and eating junk food like crazy.

  Monday morning comes too quickly. We had such a relaxing weekend. Tori comes out of the shower dressed up in a cute pair of ripped-up skinny jeans, cute cowboy boots, and a tank top. She’s wearing a smile that’s been plastered on her face all weekend.

  “Ready to be introduced to the world?” I ask, already knowing the answer but never tire of hearing it.

  “You better believe it. Let’s do it.” She claps her hands.

  We head out, meeting Donna and Jeff on the front lawn. Donna addresses the press first, thanking them for joining us for this announcement and for their patience. Then she introduces me.

  I step up to the front and address the press.

  “Thank you for joining me. I wanted to give you all this news personally. I’ve been diagnosed with stage three Laryngeal cancer. I’m seeking treatment and am going to fight this to my last breath.” Pausing to take a shaky breath, I hear some gasps and even look up to find some tears among the faces of the press as I continue, “It’s not guaranteed that I’ll sing again, but I won’t give up without a fight. This will be a long journey but one I won’t travel alone.”

  Suddenly hands fly up with questions.

  “I go in for surgery on Thursday and Donna, my manager, will keep you all updated. I will not be answering any questions today about the cancer. Now I’d like to move on to more happier announcements.” I look behind me, signaling Tori to step up and take her place next to me. “As you all know, I’m an only child and I lost my parents seven years ago. But recently a little girl came into my life and touched my soul. With the blessing of her mother, I’ve decided to mentor her as she reaches for her dreams.”

  She waves to the press. “Hi, I’m Tori Johnson and I’m Lulu’s goddaughter.”

  One reporter asks, “Tori, how old are you?”

  Tori replies, “I’m fourteen. Lulu has been my idol for as long as I can remember. It’s my honor to have such an amazing mentor and best friend.”

  Another reporter yells, “Lulu, I commend you for your honesty and devotion to your fans, but how’d you come to choose Tori here?”

  I nod. “Thank you. Without my fans, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. My fans deserve to hear this from me. I just want to show those that are going through this and or have been through this, they’re not alone. We’re all imperfect, but we’re all warriors. I chose Tori because of her raw honesty and her bold personality. And because she doesn’t care that I’m some famous country s
tar, she just loves me as Luella.”

  Another reporter from the back yells, “Lulu, what do you mean by helping her reach her dreams? Can we expect a new album?”

  I smile. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see. But that’s all for today. Thank you for coming, have a great day.”

  Tori and I wave before we head back inside. She stands in complete shock.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  “Holy crap! I can’t believe I just had my first press conference. That was so freakin’ cool.” She smiles again.

  “Yes, you did, and you did amazing. Now you know we’ll have to get you your own ‘Jeff.’” I laugh as I do air quotes for Jeff’s name.

  “A bodyguard? Do you really think I’ll need one?”

  “It doesn’t matter if you need one, I need you to have one. It’s for your own safety. They’re not our babysitters, they’re there to protect us and keep us safe. I hated it at first too but then once he explained to me that he just wanted to keep me safe, I totally understood. Hey, he even gives me my space too.”

  “Jeff’s awesome. I understand why he does it. My mom explained it to me after he explained it to her.” She winks as Jeff comes walking in.

  “What are we talking about, ladies?” Jeff questions as she and I begin to giggle like little schoolgirls.

  “Oh, I’m just explaining to Tori that we will need to get her her own you.” I look at him smiling.

  “I’ve already done some interviews and found someone. He’s a marine, medically discharged, and he starts tomorrow. His name’s Jordan,” he informs us.

  “Well there ya go. Jeff will train him so he’ll be just like him. He’ll know what you need before you even do!” I exclaim.

  Tori just smiles. We spend the rest of the day being lazy, yet again. Tomorrow we’re going shopping and getting things ready for surgery. These next few months will be a journey for sure.

  Chapter Seven