Stay With Me

by Trejo, Erin

  When I’m finally finished, I sit and watch him as he paces. His eyes are so distant, something dark lingering in them. He isn’t here, in the moment, not really anyway. His mind is somewhere else.

  “I’m ready, sir.” The sir might have been too much but if he’s going to play God and my boss, I’m going to make him work for submission if he ever gets it all. Callan slowly turns to look at me, a sparkle in his eyes.

  “Sir? I think I like that.”

  “I don’t care what you like. You’ve ruined everything!”

  “Have I? What a goddamn shame that is isn’t it, Shane? You wanted to die and now I’m going to make you wish you had.” I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him. The stitches burn. Apparently I did a better job cutting than I thought I did if I needed to be stitched up.

  “I’m not going with you.”

  “Oh, but you are. I told you, you belong to me now.”

  “I don’t belong to anyone. I’m not an object you can play with, Callan!” I snap.

  “But my heart is?” I didn’t expect that. His eyes hold the question as it lingers between us. “My heart is a toy for you isn’t it, Shane?” I shake my head unsure of what to say.

  “You don’t care about me, Cal. We all know what this is.”

  “Tell me then. What is this?”

  “Pity.” Dark laughter bursts from his mouth as he tips his head back.

  “Pity?” he asks in amusement.

  “Yes, it’s pity.”

  “Pity for what? Because you tried to kill yourself? Or the fact that you’ve been beat by your stepdad? Come on, Shane! Have you met my family? My dad tried to have my brother beaten to death, and he doesn’t even get my pity!”

  “Then what is this, Callan?” I challenge him in return. He wants to play this game; I will play it with him.

  “This is us.”

  13

  Callan

  “Watch her. Do not let her out of your sight,” I order Chance, one of my dad’s men that has now become one of ours. He nods his head as I shove Shane in his general direction.

  “I’m not going to be held hostage, Callan!” she screams. I smirk and look over at her.

  “Did you forget the part where you tried to slice your wrists? You clearly can’t be trusted alone,” I remind her. I watch the redness creep across her face, her anger slowly coming to the surface.

  “I didn’t ask you to come save the day! Fuck you!”

  “That will be later. Right now, I need to talk to my brothers. Play nicely with Chance. I hear he likes fighters,” I add as I walk away. I know Chance wouldn’t dare lay a finger on her. He knows that I’d rip his throat out if he did.

  I stroll down the hall when I’m met with a fuming Whisper.

  “You stole her?” she asks, hands on her hips, eyebrows in her hairline.

  “Stole her?”

  “Right from the hospital, Callan!”

  “Is it really stealing when she belongs to me?” I question her. As much as I love Whisper, I won’t fight her on this. Her arms fall to her sides as she thinks that over.

  “Good point but damn. You just busted all in there and took her.” I see the slight smile curling her lips.

  “Something like that. Is Steele back?”

  “Don’t you dare dismiss me like that,” she snarls.

  “I’m not. I need to talk to Steele and you already know that she’s here.”

  “And being held captive,” she says.

  “Is it really considered captive when—” She doesn’t let me finish.

  “When she’s yours. Blah blah blah. I get it, Callan.”

  “Good. Don’t go in there and give her false hope of getting out anytime soon, either,” I tell her as I reach out and pull her into me. She wraps her arms around my waist as I press a kiss to the top of her head.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it. I consider myself the good one of the family.” We both burst into laughter at her words.

  “Then we’re all pretty fucked.” Whisper pushes up on her toes and kisses my cheek before sauntering off to her best friend’s room. I keep going down the hall and round the corner into the office. Steele sits in the chair, his head in his hands.

  “Bad day at the office?” I muse.

  “Isn’t that every day?” He looks up and I can see how tired he is. He’s been working his ass off since the issue with our dad.

  “What can I do?”

  “Take the meeting on Thursday with the staff at Finstein’s?” I shrug.

  “What time?”

  “Nine.”

  “Fine with me. I don’t have class till four and then practice.”

  “You’ll really take it?” He asks as if I was joking. I know most of the businesses my dad owned. I watched him when I was growing up, went to work on occasion with him.

  “Of course. Finstein’s isn’t shit, Steele. I know most of them, anyway. They won’t have any issues,” I tell him. He nods his head and blows out a breath before leaning back in the old leather chair.

  “How’s Shane?”

  “Stubborn.” He snorts.

  “That’s new.”

  “She’s… I don’t know, different? Acting different.”

  “She tried to kill herself, Cal. Of course, she’s different. Something is bothering her to the point she wanted to die, man.” Leave it to Steele to be so comforting.

  “What if I’m the reason?” Steele sits up straighter, his blue eyes darkening as he looks at me.

  “Why did you try to kill yourself all those years ago?” My hand instinctively moves to my wrist. Steele’s eyes follow my movements, a slight nod included.

  “What are we doing about Carol?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, what the hell does she want? She didn’t just show up to be our mother after over twenty years.” He nods again.

  “I know. We need to get back into the search and destroy state of mind Dad had us in. You remember looking into shit? We need to do that again. I know I’ve slacked off taking this on,” he states.

  “You haven’t slacked off. You’ve been working your ass off to get shit in order. I need to help more.”

  “No, you need to take your ass to school so you can take this shit on when you graduate.”

  “Don’t want this forever?” I tease sliding my hands into my pockets.

  “Not a chance in hell. I don’t mind working, Cal, I just don’t want this full time.” I nod my head in understanding. I already knew that.

  “We got this, Steele. You know that right?”

  “I know. Don’t talk to me like some little bitch, brother.” I laugh as he shoves out of his chair and moves toward me. When he’s within arm’s reach, he places his hand on my shoulder.

  “I’m not really the fatherly type and shit,” he says making me laugh. That’s an understatement.

  “You aren’t a fatherly anything,” Knox says walking into the room. “What is this? Kiss and hug day?”

  “Fuck off,” Steele hisses before turning his attention back to me. “I watched you struggle, Callan. I don’t want to see you like that again. I can’t.” I nod remembering the day I brought the knife to my wrist and cut. I wasn’t me. I wasn’t who I was supposed to be and that hurt. I knew deep down that I didn’t really want to die but I felt like it was my only option. The only way out of the misery my dad caused me.

  “It won’t happen again,” I reassure him.

  “What about her? You can’t guarantee she won’t try again,” Knox chimes in.

  “She won’t. I got her. Don’t worry.” A slow smile crosses my face as Steele blows out a breath and shakes his head.

  “You got your hands full with that one.” Just as Knox finishes talking, I hear her scream. We all share a look before we take off running. I’m down the hall finding Whisper on the floor in tears she’s laughing so hard. When I look up, Shane has a lamp in her hand and Chance is doubled over.

  “What the hell is this?” Steele asks before I
have the chance.

  “Oh God. I can’t breathe!” Whisper says laughing harder. “She…” More laughter. “She nutted him!” Her laughter gets louder and louder as I look between the three of them.

  “With good reason,” Shane adds, tossing the lamp on the floor by her feet.

  “I didn’t do anything!” Chance groans as he holds his junk.

  “Someone please tell me what is happening?” I ask looking between the three once more. Whisper is still laughing on the floor, so I opt for the two that are semi with it.

  “He grabbed me,” Shane states crossing her arms over her chest. My eyes fly to Chance, fire burning in my gut.

  “I did not! You are psycho,” he hisses as he adjusts his shit once more.

  “And you’re ball-less,” Shane says.

  “Why did you hurt him?” I ask her. She turns to face me, raising an eyebrow.

  “A better question is, why are you putting someone as weak as him in place to watch me? If I could kick him in the balls and watch him fall that easily, don’t you think that’s bad?”

  “Jesus Christ. It’s another Whisper,” Knox groans. Whisper laughs as she climbs to her feet heading straight toward him.

  “What the hell is wrong with another me?”

  “So many things.” Whisper punches his arm and shifts to move past me to get to Steele.

  “Deal with your girl, Cal.” With that, the three of them walk off followed by Chance. It’s almost amusing to watch him trying to walk with his nuts in his throat.

  “What are you going to do? Punish me? Send me to my room?”

  “What did he do to you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Not him. Matt.” At that, she gasps and steps back.

  14

  Shane

  I won’t tell him. I don’t care what he does to me, he isn’t getting that part from me. I might have been stupid enough to trust him at one point but not anymore. I turn and walk back into my so-called room and try to slam the door shut, when he shoves it open.

  “I wasn’t finished,” he growls.

  “No, but I was.”

  “I will find out, Shane. You know that,” he says with confidence. I have no doubt he will. He’s an Alder for fuck’s sake. He can find out anything he wants and when he digs deep enough, he will know the truth but not from my lips.

  “Then go and find out,” I tell him as I drop onto the bed. Callan runs his hand through his hair as he looks at me. Those bright blue eyes that used to sparkle all the time now hold sadness. I miss it—that sparkle.

  “Why does everything with you have to be so damn hard?” I shrug trying to ignore him but just being this close to him does something to me. I can’t explain it and I don’t want to. I love the feeling too much to complain. It’s almost like a sense of peace.

  “Am I allowed to go to school, sir?” His jaw tics. The muscle jumps and I want to push his buttons even further. So, I do. I climb off the bed and move toward him, pressing my hand to his chest. I love how wildly his heart beats under my palm. It’s the same way mine does when he’s near me.

  “What are you doing, Shane?” His tone is heavier, huskier now. Just how I want him.

  “What do you want from me, Callan? You want me to be the good little obedient girl? You want me to submit to you?” I watch the way his lashes flutter slightly. His hand slowly comes up and his fingertips gently glide down my cheek.

  “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

  “Do I make you hard, Callan?” I try to shift, lower my hand but he steps closer, pressing our bodies together tighter while he shakes his head.

  “You don’t get it do you?”

  “Get what?” Something is shifting between us. There’s something that feels like it’s wrapping around my throat and strangling me.

  “What you do to me. You make me insane, Shane. Everything about you drives me crazy.” He licks his lips. “The things I’d do for you, have done. The things I know. God, Shane.” He stares at me, his eyes so focused yet so confused. I don’t understand this. I don’t know what he’s talking about and just as I’m about to ask, he grabs my hand in his and brings it to his wrist. Holding my finger, he slowly drags it down a jagged scar. I gasp as I look down and back at him.

  “You—”

  “There’s so much about this life you don’t know. So much about my dad that you never got to see. When I left you, it wasn’t because I wanted to. And now, now I know what you did and my fucking heart is broken, Shane. This scar? It has nothing to do with you and yet everything to do with you. Don’t you get that?” I open my mouth but what do I say? How do I respond to that? It doesn’t matter because Callan doesn’t give me the chance. He drops my hand and moves back toward the door.

  “Stay with me,” I whisper. His eyes shoot to mine but there’s a war in them. One he isn’t sure how to handle and to be honest, neither do I. I can’t tell him what I’ve done or what I was made to do. I can’t give him that piece of me and trust that he will still want me after that. So for now, this has to be enough.

  “I’d give everything I have to stay with you, Shane. Everything, but you can’t give me the truth that I need to hear from you.” His eyes are sad as he turns and leaves the room. Something inside of me breaks, tears fall down my cheeks. He brought me here but I feel like I’m losing him. When I hear glass shattering I jolt, but I don’t make a move to go and see. I know it’s him. I could see the rage in his eyes, feel it radiating off his body. The door slowly opens and Whisper walks in.

  “You okay?”

  “What am I doing to him?” I ask her.

  “This isn’t your fault!”

  “It is. It’s all my fault! I ruined him, Whisper.” She grabs my hand and tugs, dragging me from my room and down the hall. When we reach the living room, I see the shattered glass on the floor, Callan standing directly in the middle of it. Knox passes him a bottle of whiskey and I watch as he takes a long pull.

  “Go get dressed,” Steele says but my eyes remain on Callan. “I said go get dressed. We all need a break.” Now I do drag my eyes to meet his and when he nods, I know he means me too.

  “No,” Whisper says loudly. “Not until this is fixed.”

  “What’s fixed?” Knox asks crossing his arms over his large chest.

  “This! Them! She can’t blame herself for what’s happening. I’m not having it.”

  “It is her fault,” Knox says, causing me to cringe. I knew it was but just hearing him say it hurt.

  “No, it’s not!”

  “She’s right,” Callan says softly. “It’s not her fault, but I can fucking guarantee I will find out who and why.” An involuntary shiver races through my body at his words. The darkness, the fury, the pain. Callan slowly drags his head around to look at me and nods. “You won’t tell me. I’ll find out.”

  “There’s nothing to know, Cal.”

  “You want to be a little liar, Shane? Is that what you want?” God, his beautiful eyes are so dark, so distant.

  “There’s nothing to know.”

  “You and I both know that isn’t true, now don’t we? Go get dressed. We’re going out.”

  “She just tried to off herself and you want to take her out?” Knox asks, looking between all of us. “Am I the only one that thinks it’s a bad idea?”

  “I’m fine.” Gritting my teeth, I never break eye contact with Callan.

  “She isn’t going to act up tonight, are you, Shane?” Callan steps toward me, the sound of crunching glass beneath his feet. I want to shake my head, but I’m frozen in place by the air around us. When I don’t answer him, his hand comes up to my chest before slowly moving higher. Wrapping his fingers around my throat, he tugs me toward him. “Isn’t that right?”

  “Yeah. I won’t act up.”

  “Good girl. Now go change. Cover up what you did.” The way his teeth grind tells me not to push him any further tonight. Doing as I’m told, I spin around and walk back down the hall with Whisper oddly silent
next to me when I hear Knox.

  “Are we all going to pretend that having her around is a good idea? Like we don’t have enough shit on our plates?”

  “Did I ask you?” Callan roars loudly.

  “I don’t need to be asked! You’re different, Cal. I don’t know what that little bitch did to you but she messed you up, man. You’re not you!” The scuffle that follows goes unheard as Whisper ushers me into the room.

  “Callan isn’t like Steele.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning, if you have a secret you better let it out. He doesn’t like secrets, Shane.” Her words fall softly, and I know she means them.

  “Have you ever had something taken from you that you can never replace?” She looks up and finds my eyes, nodding. I nod along with her.

  “That’s your secret to keep,” she whispers. She understands me. Whether we saw it at first or not, I think that’s what drew me and Whisper together. Broken souls know each other. They gravitate to the other seeking solace that only another broken being could provide.

  “Let’s get sexy and drive them insane,” she says wiping at a tear that slid down her cheek.

  “I think I’ve done that enough. Besides, how am I going to cover these?” I ask raising my arms so she can see the bandages.

  “Did you mean it? You didn’t want to live?” Slowly lowering my arms, I sigh.

  “Everything just got too heavy, Whisper. I honestly don’t know what I want anymore.”

  “Well one thing I can say is, let’s make them work for it tonight.” I laugh as Whisper pulls the closet open and I’m a little shocked to see all the new clothes in it. She pulls out a long sleeve shirt that has the front and back cut out. I eye it as she does the same until she turns to me.

  “This. Yeah, wear this!” Shoving it into my arms, she turns back and grabs some skinny jeans and boots.