Stay With Me

by Trejo, Erin

  “Carol, the missing piece of the Alder puzzle,” Whisper slurs.

  “Fuck her,” Callan roars, shoving me off him. I nearly fall on my ass when Whisper is in his face.

  “You know what, Callan? I’m sick of you fucking her and then shoving her to the side. You need to decide what the hell it is you want. You can’t keep using her like this!” Her anger makes my heart leap. She knows how hard this is for me. This push and pull between us is ripping me apart. Callan shoves to his feet, shoving his cock back into his jeans as he looks at her.

  “This has nothing to do with you.”

  “Really? She’s my best friend, Callan! My only friend!” Steele moves now as I pull my shorts up my legs.

  “Stay out of it, Whisper,” he orders her. Her head whips around, her eyes narrowing on his. Oh, this isn’t good. Not at all.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me,” he says crossing his arms over his chest.

  “You don’t own me, Steele. Don’t you dare tell me not to stand up for her.”

  “I don’t need you to,” I say softly.

  “You aren’t her keeper,” he challenges.

  “Neither is Callan.”

  “I don’t need any of you!” I scream, catching everyone’s attention. All heads turn my way when I lose it. Tears spring to my eyes as I shake my head and try to roughly wipe them away.

  “I’m sorry, Shane,” Whisper says stepping toward me, but I raise my hand to stop her.

  “Don’t. I don’t need this. I don’t need you to stand up for me. I don’t need you to care about me.” With those words my eyes find Callan’s. He opens his mouth but he doesn’t say anything. He just watches me. Waiting. Waiting for what? Me to break? I’m done breaking. I’m tired of falling apart over a man that doesn’t really want me.

  “Shane,” Whisper says. I huff out a breath and turn on my heel heading for the door. Grabbing my purse and slipping my feet into my shoes I walk out. I have to. I need to get away from them. But where am I going?

  There are many things in life that I can handle but seeing the hatred in Callan’s eyes isn’t one of them. My heart crumbles as I realize that he will never look at me with that sweet smile he has. He will never hold me and promise me forever. As I keep walking, I let the tears fall when I end up back where I started. Looking up at the two-story house, I sigh. This, this is what my life is.

  Stepping in the front door, the negative energy hits me hard. This house is full of lies and anger, and I hate being a part of it.

  “You came back.” My mom’s voice drifts from the living room. Instead of going to my room, I walk into the living room and find her on the couch with a cup of coffee in her hand.

  “Should I leave?” She shakes her head and pats the seat next to her. Me and my mom aren’t close. We never have been and after what happened to me, no, after what she let happen to me I never wanted to be near her again. Nevertheless, I walk over and sit on the edge of the couch. There it is. The marks on her face that I knew would be there.

  “When will it stop?”

  “Never. It will never stop. There are so many things you don’t know, Shane.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like the fact that I will ruin you. Or the fact that I have my own plans for that piece of shit Alder family.” Matt’s voice burns through my body like acid.

  “Like you could stand against them,” I sneer. I shouldn’t have said it, but I need to stand up for myself. I’m sick of letting people walk all over me. That’s when I feel it. The burn in my scalp as I’m jerked from the couch by my hair. I scream right before I’m tossed into the wall where I thud and fall to the floor. Instead of letting the tears fall, I laugh. Taking a page of Whisper’s book, I harden myself to the assholes that want to hurt me.

  11

  Callan

  “Drugs? That’s what you’re going with?” I ask as I look Carol in the eye. I don’t remember my mom. Never saw a picture of her in my life so it’s not like I’d know what she looks like but I can see it. The blue eyes, the dark hair. We didn’t just get that from our dad. She’s beautiful. Still doesn’t make sense though.

  “When I was sent away, I was kept in a room. They pumped me full of drugs, Callan. I didn’t know what day it was let alone how to get away. The times I did try to run, I didn’t make it far. I was addicted to whatever they shoved in my veins.” Her eyes fill with tears as she looks between us. Knox is the calmest of the three which is odd.

  “You realize just how this sounds to us don’t you?” Steele asks, shifting in his seat. He’s uncomfortable, just like the rest of us.

  “I do and I’m sorry. I wanted you boys. More than I wanted my own life, but your father wouldn’t allow it.”

  “Why did he wait and have Knox and Callan?” Steele asks.

  “He needed to make sure that if one didn’t want this role, the other would,” she says. It makes sense.

  “Jesus Christ,” I whisper. It hits me. Like a fucking brick to the chest. The fights. His men. That’s why he was always so hard on Steele. He wasn’t trying to punish him; he was trying to kill him. My hands clench in my lap as I shove out of my seat.

  “Cal?” Knox says my name, but I don’t listen.

  “That was it, wasn’t it?” My question is directed at Steele and he knows it.

  “I didn’t realize at first,” he says softly, looking the other way. That’s when I move. I grab him and jerk him out of his seat. Anger filters through my veins as I pull my first back and swing. It connects with his jaw barely fazing him. He doesn’t stumble back, just looks at me. He reminds me of him. Our dad. So fucking stoic and put together. Steele is probably the most put together of all of us.

  “You knew. You knew he was out for blood and you took it every single time! Why?”

  “Dad knew I didn’t want this shit. He knew I didn’t want to run the businesses for him.”

  “What changed? You’re running it now?” I ask needing to know the answer.

  “Everything changed. He’s gone. This is us now. Not him. Us!” he growls shoving me back a step.

  “He could have had you killed,” I remind him.

  “But he didn’t. I’m here. We are here!”

  “This is bullshit. All of it. He’s gone, so what the fuck is it you want?” Knox asks, causing us all to look his way. His eyes are on her. Our mom. “Money? Is that it? You want us to pay you what he owed?”

  “No. Of course not. I want my family back. I want my sons,” she says. Something about her isn’t right. She’s too… sincere for a woman that should be bitter and angry.

  “I don’t like this,” I ponder.

  “I don’t know what else you want me to say, Callan. My God! Your father was a real piece of work. He wanted things the way he wanted them and that was that. I’m sure he was just as bad when you were growing up,” she snaps showing her true colors. She makes me uncomfortable. There’s an aura around her that I don’t like.

  “I’m out of here,” I say, turning on my heel. I hurry out of the room when Whisper stops me.

  “Hey, Callan.”

  “What?” I ask spinning to face her. I don’t need her shit too. I don’t trust Carol and that’s that.

  “I love you.”

  “Why are you saying that?” She steps into me, her arms going around my waist like they usually do.

  “Because you need to hear it from someone that means it,” she adds. I sigh and wrap my arms around her.

  “You feel it?” I ask her softly, pressing my lips into the top of her hair.

  “She’s evil, Cal. They don’t see it.”

  “You can,” I tell her. I know she can. Whisper came from evil, she knows when she sees it.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels it,” I tell her. She nods her head and pulls away from me without another word. I turn and head out the door and jog down the stairs until I’m on the sidewalk. Then I run.

  Runnin
g has always cleared my head. Although it hasn’t been working lately, I have to stay in shape for football. It’s weird without the guys with me. This is our thing. We all go when one goes. I guess that’s what it means to grow up and grow apart. Me and my brothers are still close but we all seem to be branching off into our own lives lately. Not that I didn’t want that or see it coming, it’s just hard to get used to. Our lives have always been one. We did what we were told, what was expected of us. I suppose that’s what is slowly tearing us apart too.

  My breathing comes in bursts as I race down the road. I don’t think, just run, until I stop in front of her house. What it is about her that draws me in? Why can’t I seem to keep away from her? I’m about to turn and run when I hear someone scream. Instead of running away, I’m dashing up the stairs. I take them two at a time before kicking the door in. That’s when I see it. Matt, Shane’s stepdad, has her mom on the ground beating her but something else feels off. Something else is wrong.

  “Get off her!” I roar, catching his attention.

  “You. Fuck you!” Matt comes toward me and I clench my fists ready for him.

  “You piece of shit!”

  “Am I? I don’t think so. You hit on women? Is that what gets you off?” I challenge him. Maybe I’m being a dick. Maybe I just need the release, but I egg him on until he moves. Just as he swings, I duck and counter it. Slamming my fist into his ribs, he stumbles back. I move in, hitting again and again until I hear Shane’s mom. When did she move?

  “Shane!” Her cries rip through the red fog that I’ve found myself in. Rushing up the steps, I follow the sounds of her screams when I see Shane. Shane’s in the bathtub, blood dripping from her wrists. Her eyes are closed, and she looks peaceful.

  “Move!” I roar rushing toward her. Everything inside of me breaks in this moment. I grab the towels and tie them tightly around Shane’s wrists before lifting her in my arms. I drop onto my ass on the floor as her mom cries.

  “Call an ambulance,” I tell her. She moves but I don’t. I reach for her neck, feeling for a pulse. It’s there but it’s not very strong. As I look down at her pale face, my stomach clenches.

  “You can’t do this to me, Shane. I might hate you but I fucking love you too. Don’t you get it? How fucking torn I am? How can I let you go?” I shake my head as I stare at her closed eyes. This is wrong. This is right. I don’t know what this is anymore. “Stay with me, Shane. Just… stay with me.”

  I can vaguely hear the sirens as they come closer. I wish I could call my brothers, but I can’t. Not now. And Whisper? She will hate me. I caused this. I can’t believe that she actually did this to herself.

  “Shane, please.” I beg the nothingness that lingers around us.

  12

  Shane

  I wake up with my hands restrained. It’s not a surprise but the man sitting in the chair next to me is.

  “What are you doing here?” His eyes slowly raise from his phone and lock with mine.

  “Why wouldn’t I be here?” Asshole.

  “Leave, Steele. I don’t want you here,” I tell him.

  “As if I give a shit what you want. What were you trying to do? Huh? Guilt trip my brother back into your life? He told me what you did.” His words sting. I close my eyes and try to drown out the fact that he’s sitting in my room. He doesn’t understand, none of them do and I’ll be damned if I tell any of them.

  “Get out, Steele,” I say, grinding my teeth together almost painfully.

  “Not a chance in hell. Answer me,” he growls.

  “I don’t owe you anything. I don’t need to tell you anything.” I hear the chair shift before a hand wraps around my throat. The machines go wild as he squeezes. My eyes pop open as I look up at the void in his eyes.

  “All I have are my brothers. I won’t let you rip him apart, Shane. He loved you once. It wasn’t his fault he ran but you could have fought harder.” Tears spring to my eyes as I try to reach for his hands but can’t. I thrash around, trying to move when the door flies open. In seconds, Steele’s hand is off my throat as he’s slammed against the wall. Fists fly as I cry until security comes rushing in. The men rip Steele and Callan apart as Knox slowly strolls through the room as if nothing is happening.

  “This is your fault,” Knox says when he comes to stand next to my bed.

  “Everything is. She’s gone and that’s my fault too.” I cry harder. Knox looks down at me, his brows furrowed. He doesn’t know. None of them do.

  “Who?”

  “Just leave.”

  “Who is she?” Knox asks once more, a little more edge in his tone.

  “Please,” I cry harder. The noise slowly settles around us when the room clears out. My eyes are clenched shut as I sob uncontrollably. So much that my chest aches. I’ve ruined many lives in my short time here on earth, I know that much but the everyday reminder is what really kills me. That’s the thing that shreds what’s left of my heart. I keep my eyes closed when the door opens. I don’t care who it is this time. I don’t really care what they do to me either. Steele should have finished what I started.

  “You were very lucky, Shane.” That’s not a voice I recognize. Opening my eyes, there stands a young doctor glancing at the chart in his hands.

  “If you say so.” Now he looks up at me.

  “You don’t think so?” I shake my head. “Why is that?”

  “Nothing good comes from me, Doc. When I’m around, everyone hurts in some way,” I admit. He nods and looks back at his clipboard as if it holds all the answers.

  “We all feel that way at times. If your boyfriend hadn’t showed up and attempted to stop the bleeding, I would be having a different conversation with your parents.” I huff out a laugh. I’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t really give two shits about what I did. She’d probably be happy if I never woke up and she didn’t have to live with the secrets anymore.

  “Parents? You mean the drunk and her husband?” I ask raising an eyebrow.

  “We all handle things differently.”

  “How long?” I ask, tired of this conversation.

  “How long what?”

  “Until I can get out of here?”

  “Right now. You’re leaving now.” Callan’s voice thunders through the room as the door clicks shut behind him.

  “I don’t believe she is. Suicide attempts aren’t to be taken lightly, Mr. Alder, as you very well know.” What the hell did that mean? I turn my head and look from the doctor to Callan and back.

  “And as you very well know, I don’t give a shit what you think. She isn’t going to be alone, Dr. Tazol.” I’m so confused but I can feel the tension between the two of them. I would ask how Callan knows him, but I already know the answer to that. The Alder’s run this town.

  “Callan, I’d advise you against this,” the doctor says once more as Callan moves toward me. He begins to undo the restraints from my arms and as soon as he does, I sit up and rub at my sore wrists.

  “And again, I didn’t ask you what you’d advise.” The doctor moves toward Callan and that’s when he snaps. He spins around, grabbing the man by the front of his shirt and slamming him against the wall.

  “I’m sick of you meddling. That’s all you do and all you’re good for. If you want to keep practicing in Rolling Springs, I’d suggest you mind your own fucking business.” The way Callan grits his teeth and snarls in the doctor’s face makes me shiver. I’ve seen Callan angry. I’ve seen him pissed but this is something else. The man nods his head and Callan slowly releases him before turning and grabbing a bag I hadn’t noticed he brought in. Tossing it at me, I catch it as I watch him.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Put the clothes on.” That’s all he says, his tone rough as if he’s ready to explode once again.

  “Is this a good idea?” I ask. Now I feel like the doctor is right. I’m not so sure I should be leaving this hospital either, because frankly, I’m tired of life. Maybe I need to be here. Maybe I need the help or maybe I
just need a break from my everyday life. Callan’s chest rises and falls rapidly and when I don’t move, he does. He grabs me around the waist, lifts me off the bed and stands me on my feet. His nostrils flare as I look into his eyes.

  “I am sick of the questions.” He steps closer, I step back. “I’m tired of the bullshit.” Another step. “I told you to do something and now you are going to fucking do it, Shane.” The last step and my back hits the wall.

  “I wanted to die, Callan.” The words slip out before I can rethink them. His eyes flash a little darker before he reaches up and runs his fingers across my throat. Just when I relax into his touch, he wraps them around and squeezes, much like his brother did. My eyes widen and my lips part as Callan cocks his head to the side and looks down at me menacingly.

  “Yeah. I know that much. Why the hell do you think we’re here? But I can tell you this, Shane. You will never ever try that shit again. Do you hear me?” His teeth are grinding, his jaw tics. Something about the power and fury that radiates off him scares me. I’ve never been afraid of Callan before. “Answer. Me.”

  “Yes.” The sole word comes out as a harsh whisper. Not that I could manage anything more if I wanted to.

  “Now put the clothes on that are in that bag,” he says nodding toward the bag on the bed. I nod my head rapidly as he releases me. Before he can take a step back, I mouth off again.

  “This manhandling thing you and your brother keep doing is going to end.” And just like that I’m pinned to the wall only this time not by my throat. It’s his hard body pressed into mine. It’s heat, it’s cruel heat that slowly runs through my veins when I’m this close to him. It’s the feel of him when it’s only us. Why is he doing this to me? His hand comes up, gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing my gaze to his.

  “I’ve only just gotten started with you, Shane. As soon as you walk out that door, you belong to me. I. Will. Own. You.” His words are a threat. One I’d like to challenge but I know better. Callan steps back and grabs the bag, throwing it at me once again. This time I catch it and pull the clothes out. He paces the floor as I slide the jeans and shirt on, pulling the hospital gown off and tossing it on the bed. Then I move to sit in the chair and slip my feet into the shoes he brought. All of mine I might add.