Look Twice

by M. Garzon

  Look Twice

  M. Garzon

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  Petal Press Canada

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  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or a portion thereof, in any form. This book may not be resold or uploaded for distribution to others. This is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, horses, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.

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  Cover Design by Christina Conway | Dazzle by Design

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  Copyright © 2012 M. Garzon

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 978-0988001343

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  For my children, Kaida and Fen.

  I couldn’t be prouder of you if I tried.

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  And to the memory of Hickstead.

  Sometimes, there are no words.

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  Acknowledgments

  Many thanks go to the following:

  To my proofreaders, Sharleen Banning, Jennilyn Robbie, Carolina Pla, and Brooke Woboditsch, for your time and insight.

  To Carolina Pla, Ashley Cotter-Cairns, and Lisa Tremblay for all the moral support and encouragement.

  To Pete Woboditsch for being such an inspiring source of non-stop groaners.

  For the wonderful cover, extra gratitude goes to Christina Conway of Dazzle by Design for your generosity and mad photography skills. Also, for stifling your desire to strangle me.

  The cover models:

  Thea Lepore and Churchill (owned by Jaclyn Bercovitch)

  Jesse Drent and his mare Andorra. This amazing horseman can be found on Facebook and YouTube.

  Thanks to Eva Roemaat for the photograph of Jesse.

  Website: www.nalanta.nl

  Thanks also to Holly Hallett and Dunelm Farm for the location, and for putting up with the photoshoot circus.

  A special thanks to readers of the first book for your enthusiastic reviews, your kind emails, and your Facebook comments.

  Contents

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  About the Author

  One

  It was a strange night after that. You’d think that winning the biggest jumper class of my life — at the Royal, no less — would lead to an evening of celebration, but given the bomb we’d dropped on our family the party didn’t happen.

  Jaden went home, and though I dearly wished I could go with him that would probably have been a poor choice, assuming we ever wanted anyone in our family to talk to us again. My coach went home too, so Seth stayed with me in the hotel room I’d shared with her. At the last minute, Dec decided to go to Aunt Penny’s — I think we were both more comfortable with the idea of facing a firing squad than each other right then. Normally he would have gone to Jaden’s, whose loft was much closer, but that solution would doubtless have led to very little sleep for both of them. So we scattered.

  My phone rang right after Seth and I had collapsed onto the beds.

  “Querida.” Jaden’s honey-smooth voice was instantly soothing. “I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. I’m sorry that our personal drama cast a shadow on your big moment.”

  I was shaking my head, even though he couldn’t see it. “I don’t mind. I’m glad we’re finally out in the open, it’s a relief. I’m just sorry that your mom didn’t take it well.” Which was something of an understatement, since slapping her son in public and stalking away — and refusing to speak with him thereafter — could conceivably be called an extremely bad reaction.

  Jaden texted me early the next morning. Stacey says Dec’s on the warpath. Want me 2 meet u at Royal?

  I thought quickly. If my stepfather was mad, it was probably better not to make him face the evidence of our relationship first thing in the morning.

  Why don’t u meet us @ home? I texted back.

  K. Love u.

  Those two little words were enough to keep the smile on my face. Until Dec arrived, that is. He hardly said a word to us between the hotel and the Horse Palace. Once there, he headed for the show office while my brother and I packed up for the trip home.

  “Keep your head down today, Sis,” Seth told me worriedly as we wrapped Marty’s legs. The little Thoroughbred stood patiently, tired from his big night.

  By unspoken consensus, Seth rode in the front of the pickup with Dec. It was an hour’s drive from Toronto to the equestrian center we called home, and once installed in the backseat I surreptitiously pulled out my phone and texted my cousin Stacey.

  What happened? He’s madder than ystrdy.

  She replied almost instantly. My parents laid the guilt on. They want him to break u up.

  I gave Jaden a quick heads-up just before we arrived. Tread carefully. Honestly, I didn’t know how people survived before cell phones and the Internet.

  Jaden emerged from the barn just as we pulled in. He smiled warmly at me but headed straight for the trailer to unload Marty.

  The minute everything was unloaded Dec turned to me. “I want to see you in the house.”

  Jaden and I sat side by side in the kitchen while Dec paced. He looked larger than usual when he was agitated, and he wasn’t a small man to begin with.

  “I have to say I’m disappointed in you, Jaden,” Dec said. “I would have thought you’d be man enough to do the right thing here.”

  Jaden’s face was tight, pained, and I wrapped my hand around his under the table.

  “That’s not fair, Dec,” I said heatedly. “There are two people in this relationship, and we’re equally responsible.” I looked at Jaden. “And besides, what we’re doing is the right thing. We love each other.” To an insane degree, I added mentally. Jaden squeezed my hand.

  “And you’re still young enough to believe that love conquers all.” Dec sighed.

  I stared at him. “I hope never to get old enough to believe otherwise.”

  Dec dropped heavily into a chair. “Life isn’t a fairy tale, Téa. There are far-reaching consequences to what you’re doing. The whole family’s up in arms.”

  “What about you?” I said in a small voice. “I know you understand why I love Jaden.” My gaze slid over to Jaden. His thumb stroked the back of my hand.

  “Just because I understand it doesn’t mean I can condone it,” Dec said sharply.

  “What did Aunt Penny and Uncle Robert say?” Jaden asked quietly.

  “That it’s entirely inappropriate, of course,” Dec answered tiredly. He rubbed his temples, his fingers sliding through salt-and-pepper strands of hair.

  I felt an army of arguments massing within me, but Jaden’s beautiful face remained calm.

  “What do you suggest we do?” he asked Dec.

  Dec rested his thick forearms on the table and looked Jaden square in the eyes. “That depends. What are your intentions?”

  His face didn’t reveal it, but I could sense that Jaden was taken aback. He hesitated before turning to me, his gaze warm and soft and so filled with love that I felt my heart swell in response. He squeezed my hand.

  “I love Téa. I want t
o be with her and take care of her. And someday, if she’ll have me, I want to marry her.” He was still staring into my eyes, so he must have seen their startled flare.

  “Oh, God help me,” Dec groaned. He dropped his head into his hands and stayed that way for a while, but I didn’t notice. I was held captive by Jaden’s gaze. His face was serious, but there was fierce joy in his eyes. As for me, my heart was racing almost as fast as my thoughts. Married, me? I couldn’t begin to imagine it, and yet it seemed obvious that I’d be spending my life with Jaden, anyway. Why not get married? Eventually.

  Dec straightened up suddenly. “Okay,” he said, looking more like his usual take-charge self. He pointed a blunt index finger at Jaden. “You — go home. I’ve got enough to process without tripping over you all day. And you-” I shrunk slightly as his pale eyes moved to me, but they softened along with his tone when he spoke. “Well, you’ve earned a day off, at least.”

  I gave him a small smile. I could use it.

  “I’d like to take you out for dinner,” Jaden said to me. “We didn’t even get to celebrate your win.” We both looked at Dec. “If it’s all right with you,” Jaden added.

  I thought he phrased it just right; he sounded casual enough but he was still considering Dec’s opinion. We didn’t want to set the bad precedent of asking permission to spend time together.

  Dec nodded slowly. “We’ll do something to celebrate too, later this week,” he added, to my surprise. Then he stared at Jaden. “Dinner only. I want her home by nine.”

  Since Jaden had been banished for the day, we met on the outskirts of Milton, which was about halfway between our houses. He was waiting in the restaurant’s parking lot, leaning against his midnight blue SUV. I remembered that I’d thought his car was black when I first saw it, back when I’d thought Jaden was an arrogant, rich jerk. I’d been wrong on both counts; each possessed a depth that I never would have suspected. He glanced up from his phone as I got out of my car, his angular features softening into a smile. The slanting evening sun bronzed his light brown hair and made the gold flecks in his eyes glow.

  I must have been rooted to the spot, staring at him, because he reached out and took my arm. He pulled me between his long legs as he leaned back and took my hands in his.

  “I didn’t mean to spring that on you today,” he said quietly, “but I wanted Dec to understand how serious we are. I promise you a real proposal when the time comes. If I haven’t scared you off, that is.” He grinned.

  “I figured I’d give you one last chance before I ran away.”

  “I’d better redeem myself then,” he said, straightening up. He wrapped one arm around me, warming me against November’s chill. “Let’s start with dinner.”

  * * *

  I didn’t see Jaden again until the following weekend when I walked into the house to find him pacing back and forth with the phone to his ear.

  “Alejandra,” he said sharply, “you’re in no position to be lecturing me about my obligations to the family. You haven’t been home in two years.” It was the first time I’d heard him use his sister’s full name. We always called her Lexie. “Yes, I’m fully aware of what this is doing to mom,” he was saying now. “But thanks for reminding me; it’s not as though I needed to get any sleep tonight.”

  The bitterness in his tone was a surprise, and made me uneasy. It was something I’d never heard from him before.

  “Her name is Tay-a,” he emphasized, “not ‘the child’, and-” He stopped and quickly wrapped up his call when he caught sight of me.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked worriedly.

  He was thoughtful as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before resting his hand on the side of my neck.

  “People may be upset for the next little while, but we’ll get through it.”

  He withdrew his hand when Dec walked in. Dec surveyed us for a minute, his mouth pressed into a tight line.

  “I don’t want you making this public knowledge in the barn,” he said finally.

  Jaden frowned. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

  “I mean you don’t tell people, you don’t touch each other, and you don’t act like a couple,” Dec said shortly.

  I looked up at Jaden in consternation. He clearly wasn’t happy with this turn of events either.

  “But people are bound to find out,” I said. “Our friends already know, are we supposed to swear them to secrecy?”

  Dec moved closer, his face set. “Do you have any idea of how this reflects on us?” he asked tightly.

  “You know, in some cultures it’s considered perfectly normal for first cousins to date. Actual cousins, which we aren’t!” I burst out.

  “But not in our culture!” Dec roared.

  I jumped, and Jaden put his arm around me. Dec’s angry face turned to him. “Let go of her.”

  “Are we going to pretend we’re not together when we’re in the house too?” Jaden asked grimly, holding Dec’s stare.

  “For now, yes,” Dec said with an air of finality. “I hope you weren’t planning to stay overnight.”

  “You can’t-” I began, but as Jaden’s grip tightened around me I fell silent.

  His arm dropped away. “I’ll be in the barn,” he said quietly.

  I followed him out, and we went straight up to the hayloft, making sure no one saw us climb up together. I fell against him the second the trapdoor was shut.

  “It’s all right, querida,” he soothed. His strong hands were comforting, moving over my back, but my body remained stiff.

  “What are we going to do? What if it’s always like this?” I whispered.

  “Don’t think that way,” he said firmly. “We’re going to be patient and understanding, but we won’t cede to pressure. I’ll respect Dec’s wishes to keep things quiet in the barn — we’ve been doing it long enough anyway — and eventually, our family will come around.”

  I gave him a tremulous smile, which he kissed softly.

  “There’s something else I wanted to discuss with you,” he went on. “I’ll have to go to Florida soon. I can make enough money there in a month to pay for half a year in school.”

  Jaden was in his second year of law school, having given up full-time polo to return to his studies.

  “Oh. Well, of course you should go,” I said, not meeting his eyes. I couldn’t be selfish enough to ask him to stay, but I was already dreading his absence.

  He put his hand on my cheek. “I was hoping you’d come with me.”

  My eyes flew to his; I could feel the sun breaking free on my face. “Seriously?”

  “Yes.” He grinned. “You didn’t honestly think I could go without you for so long, did you?”

  I threw my arms around him. “That would be so awesome. And I can groom for you.”

  “No, querida, I’ll hire a groom — maybe Jen can come. You will accompany me solely as my girlfriend,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.

  “We’ll have to smooth things over with your mom first,” I murmured. I pulled away from him, suddenly worried. “And Dec! What if he doesn’t let me go?”

  Jaden hesitated. “We’ll talk him into it,” he assured me, but I could tell that for once, he wasn’t certain of his ability to convince Dec.

  * * *

  We decided to tackle Aunt Paloma first because if she gave us her blessing it would go a long way toward softening Dec. We arranged to see her the following week, and I fidgeted during the entire drive to her house. I loved Aunt Paloma and felt enormous guilt for coming between her and Jaden. I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to look her in the eye.

  Although I’d been to the house before, I saw it differently now, as the house that Jaden had grown up in. It was in a fairly affluent neighborhood west of downtown Toronto; the outside was clad in dark brick, in contrast to the light and open inside space. Aunt Paloma led us into the plant-filled living room and sat us on a cream-colored couch. She took a chair opposite us. Her dark hair was scraped into a ponytail and
she looked pale and tired, not at all her usual vivacious, well-groomed self. She wasted no time in getting to the point.

  “If you’ve come for my approval, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed,” she said, looking away.

  “Mom, I know you’re upset, and we caught you by surprise, but don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Jaden asked.

  “How did you expect me to react, Jaden? When I find out that you’ve been... been touching your young cousin?” she said sharply.

  Jaden dropped his eyes, his face a mask of shame. I took his hand firmly.

  “With all due respect, Aunt Paloma, I’m eighteen years old. I realize that I look younger, but I’m an adult.” Aunt Paloma was frowning, but she was listening, and I went on quickly. “You’ve known me since I was barely nine; you’ve watched me grow up. Of course, you think of me as family. But Jaden and I hardly knew each other as kids. He went to live with Uncle Peter when I was eleven, and then he left for years to play polo and go to school. We were virtual strangers when he returned.”

  “And how old were you then?” Aunt Paloma asked, tight-lipped.

  I glanced at Jaden; he still wasn’t meeting his mother’s eyes.

  “Sixteen. But believe me, there was no attraction of that sort back then.” I squeezed Jaden’s hand and gave him a shady grin when he glanced sideways at me. “Don’t you remember how we used to fight?” I directed back at his mom.

  His mother sighed. “Regardless, I can’t condone your behavior, Jaden.”

  “What is so terrible about me loving Téa?” Jaden demanded, revealing his frustration for the first time.

  “Tell me, son, what if your father and I had adopted a little girl? She wouldn’t be a blood relative, so when she grew up would you feel it was acceptable to-”

  “Mom!” he interrupted angrily. “How can you even suggest such a thing? It’s disgusting!”

  “Which is precisely my point, Jaden. How different is that scenario, really, from what you’re doing?”

  Jaden’s tightly clenched jaw prevented him from answering, which was likely a good thing at that moment.

  “It’s not the same,” I said quietly. “When I met Jaden, the only thing connecting us was the piece of paper linking Dec to my mom.”

  Aunt Paloma surveyed me gently. “I don’t blame you, Téa. You look at Jaden and see a handsome young man, a good horseman, and someone you knew vaguely in childhood.” Her gaze hardened as it shifted to her son. “But you, Jaden — you understand better than most why Téa was vulnerable to your advances, and I know I taught you better than to think it was acceptable.”