“I’m not sure. He’s going to let me know the location. I’m so excited.”
“Wait. How far do you plan to go?”
“He let me know he has condoms, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she said, reassuring me.
Why would a counselor bring condoms to a camp with teens unless this was something he planned on happening?
Without thinking before speaking, I said, “I see. He just thought of it all, didn’t he?”
She shot me a look. “Why the sarcastic remark? Are you envious Blake will with me, and Devin won’t with you?”
Her question caught me off guard. What was the reason I was questioning Blake’s motives? Maybe it had to do with the fact that during family group today he’d sat behind me and massaged my shoulders even though I didn’t want him to. That—and it went on way too long.
“I’m sorry. I’m just looking out for you. Don’t get caught.”
“That reminds me—you may have to cover for me after lights out. Make up something about me being in the bathroom and sick to my stomach. You’ll cover for me, right? Because I would for you.”
“Yes. Of course I’ll cover.”
“You haven’t seen him much this week, have you? That’s why you’re so down.” Lauren’s tone had changed from irritated to sympathetic.
I nodded. “I see him every day. We just aren’t exclusively talking like we did before.”
“What does he tell you?”
“That we have to be really careful. And I need to be eighteen.”
Lauren rolled her eyes. “That’s so stupid. Age is just a number. Your birthday is in three weeks. Does he think you’ll magically be a year older? You’ll be the same person in three weeks.”
“I know. He considers everything, including the legal aspect of being involved with me. Things happened in his life that have made him be very careful,” I explained.
Lauren seemed more interested now and asked, “What does that mean? What kinds of things? Do tell.”
I didn’t want to betray Devin’s confidence, so I thought of a way to explain it without giving anything away. “Sometimes when we haven’t experienced things, we dive into situations without thinking them through. He has some issues from his past that forced him to mature, and he has to think carefully before doing things.”
Lauren made the motion of a plane with a “whoosh” sound. “That just went over my head. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think you both need to stop worrying so much about what-ifs, and live in the moment. It’s your decision, though.” She leaned in so only I could hear her. “I’d make the first move and kiss him anyway. He won’t stop you. Maybe he wants you to so he knows you made the choice.” Then she raised her eyebrows at me with a nod.
It hadn’t occurred to me that Devin might be waiting to see if I’d make the first move. Then again, he’d been pretty adamant that we weren’t going to get physical. I hated the idea I might attempt it and be wrong, then have him forced to reject me. Rejection was already a theme in my life, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it if Devin were to add to it. He would feel terrible doing that to me, knowing my issues. I didn’t think I should put him in that position.
At least I had tomorrow to look forward to. We would have our first official volleyball game, then the first camp dance of this session.
I wondered if Devin would have the courage to dance with me in front of Marissa.
***
The volleyball tournament started at two. Four teams were to play each other. There’d be a small break after those games, then the other four teams would play. This would take us down to the final four teams for next week. Our team was playing during the first hour. We had fifteen minutes to warm up, then the games would start.
Today, Devin wore a sweatband that kept his hair out of his eyes in addition to his sunglasses. I probably spent more time admiring his appearance than worrying about this tournament.
A lot of the camp gathered to watch our game, and I knew it was that Devin was playing. Although he was quiet and kept to himself, he was very nice to the campers and made them feel special. Not only was he very good-looking, but he was very athletic, and girls noticed. I’d take his CPR class if it meant I could look at him for three hours.
Most of all, Devin was very considerate of others. He could’ve been turned off by the little attempts I’d made to get his attention at the start of camp, but he wasn’t. He’d instead made a point to say hi when he saw me. It made me feel so good to know Devin chose me to spend time alone with. Most of the girls at this camp would have done the same thing if he’d picked them.
We got into position once the warm-up was done. Devin nudged me and handed me a sweatband for my hair. He didn’t want it up, but he at least wanted to make sure I could see. Quickly, I put the sweatband on. And then the game started.
The game wasn’t that challenging because our players were more skilled, and we definitely worked better as a team. Devin was on fire and really banged the ball over the net at angles that had our opponents diving to the ground. His fans on the sidelines cheered whenever he made a hard hit. He was good at blocking, too. We needed him.
A ball came right to me, and I called it, then missed. It was a good enough pass, so I should’ve been able to set the ball to someone.
“Good try, Dahlia,” Devin said, patting my back. He saw how disappointed I’d felt about missing and said quietly to me, “Shake it off. You’ll get the next one.” He clapped his hands together and called out a few instructions, and the focus was back on the game.
Devin was right. The next ball that came my way I managed to set for him, and he sent it spiraling to the ground on the other side.
“That’s the way, Dahlia.” He put his hands up to high five me. I was so glad I was on his team because he made it so much fun.
We eventually won the game and would be moving on to the next round next week. For now, most of our team took seats on the sidelines to watch the next four teams compete.
I tried my best to set it up so Devin and I could sit next to each other. He was standing with a few of the players. Occasionally, I turned to look at him, and he side-glanced my way but continued talking with the others.
Blake’s team began playing in front of me. They were decent, too, and we had a good chance to play him in the semi-finals or finals. I wanted to check out our potential competition and see how they played.
Someone nudged my shoulder. “Really good game,” Devin said. He was sitting with his knees up and his arms cradled around them. He nudged me flirtatiously again with his elbow.
“Thank you. You’re such a good player. Is there anything you don’t do well?”
“Oh, there’s a lot I can’t do. But then I pretend I can.” He smiled.
We were still watching the game when Lauren found us and sat down on my other side. Devin waved at her. She greeted him briefly, but it was obvious her full attention was reserved for Blake.
Lauren excessively cheered whenever Blake made a good play. It was so obvious, that Devin leaned over and asked me what her deal was. I merely shrugged.
“You don’t like him much, do you?” I asked, remembering how angry Devin looked last week after their soccer game.
“Let’s say I don’t have a crush on him.”
Our eyes met, and I read his strong distaste for Blake in his expression.
Blake’s team ended up winning. I’d figured they would. He was very competitive but not in a sportsmanlike way like Devin. I thought it might be fun to see Devin against Blake, the camp’s heartthrob. Every girl would show up to watch that game.
“I’m going to go shower before dinner. See you later. Bye, Lauren,” Devin said before walking off.
Once he was out of earshot, I turned to talk to Lauren.
She lowered her voice. “So, Blake says we’re on for tonight. I will need you to cover for me.”
“Do you love him?”
“I think infatuated is a better word. He’s so
good-looking.”
“Please promise me you’ll have him use protection if you go that far.”
I wasn’t for this secret affair tonight, but Lauren was going to do what she wanted—no matter how much I might protest. Reminding her to be safe was the best I could do at this point. The rest was up to her. If I told Devin about it, I felt sure he’d put a stop to it. Then Lauren would hate me, so that was why I didn’t tell him.
“Of course. I promise. I told you he has some. Now let’s go shower and get ready for the dance.”
Chapter Fifteen
The informal dance immediately followed dinner. The last night of camp would be the formal one, where a king and queen would be chosen.
Lauren had fixed my hair. It was parted down the middle and fell in layers from my shoulders down my back. She’d made some loose spirals that flipped away from my face.
She was about to put some pieces up when I intervened, “Please leave it down. Devin prefers it that way.”
“Down it is,” she stated. She finished, and off we were to the dance.
Lauren had done a beautiful job on me, and I was excited for Devin to see me. To finish my look, I had on designer jeans with a shimmering black halter top. The top was cinched at the neckline with a metallic silver cord that was only visible on either side of my neck. It gathered at my hips with a large black bow on the side. My shoulders were completely exposed, making the look pretty sexy.
Once we were inside the rec hall, Lauren pulled me onto the dance floor right away so we could dance to some fast songs. When a slow number started up, we quickly moved off the floor and found chairs to sit in and observe. That was when I did a sweep of the room for Devin. After a time, I found him standing against the wall, talking with some of the male campers. He looked so different that I almost didn’t recognize him.
He wore a black beanie with pieces of his hair sticking out underneath. A black scarf dangled loosely over his shoulders. He had on a dark gray fitted V-neck shirt that was tucked into his cotton stretch pants, which were secured with a belt. A white undershirt could be seen at his collar. He had on what looked like a short hiking boot. He knew how to dress and had the right body to show off his clothes. His look reminded me of one of those models for a winter catalog.
To my dismay, some girls came up to Devin and started chatting. One reached up and removed the beanie, and he didn’t stop her—once again proving how nice he was. She put the hat on and giggled, trying her best to flirt with him. The other one ruffled his hair. He took over their grooming attempts and tried to smooth his hair. Finally, the girls walked away. But the one still had his hat on. If this kept up, Devin would lose all his clothes by the time he left camp.
Lauren went to dance with someone, so I got up to wander by the music table. Brett, the humorous counselor, was the DJ again. He saw me browsing through the list he’d made up of all the songs available.
“Do you have a request?” Brett asked with a smile.
“No. I’m just looking.” I wanted to see if I could find the song Devin and I danced to at the first dance.
“Why aren’t you dancing?”
“No one has asked me to,” I replied.
“Well, Devin, this young lady needs a dance partner.”
Turning to my left, I was surprised to see Devin. He moved closer and looked me over. We were by one of the speakers, so it was very loud.
Brett announced into the mic, “Our next number will be a slow song. Find your dance partner and get onto the floor.”
Devin leaned into me and spoke by my ear so I could hear him but no one else could. “I want to dance with you.” He pulled back so he could see my reaction.
I smiled and walked onto the dance floor. When I turned around, Devin immediately pulled me into him. My nose was next to his scarf, and it smelled like pine trees. After this summer, I thought the scent of pine would forever remind me of him. I felt his fingers tug gently on one of my spirals. He spoke into my ear again and said, “Pretty.” We were still waiting for the song to start.
Brett continued, “And by request, this is ‘Four Teeth,’ by True Widow. I have a list of preselected songs here, but really any song is possible using my phone to search and the equipment to play it over the speakers. I’ll be taking more requests. But I’ll be checking over the lyrics first. I’ve already seen some that were not okay. Nice try.” Laughter filled the room after his comment.
The song began, and we started moving slowly in a circle while holding each other. We behaved ourselves and didn’t attempt to move our hands from where they were expected to be while dancing. Nothing suspicious was done between us. Devin’s arms around me, holding me tight, felt right.
I heard him mutter, “You don’t look seventeen tonight.”
When I tried to look at his face, he grasped the back of my neck and held his lips to my ear so no one else could hear what was being said. “It’s getting harder to maintain the boundaries. When I saw you across the floor… Well, tonight’s the first time I’ve realized just how much I like you.”
This news excited me. I whispered back, “What does that mean?”
He let me move my head to look at him. I wanted to hear him say it, so I continued to stare at him. He stared back as his lips twitched, considering telling me what he was thinking. Then he looked away as we continued to dance.
Suddenly, Devin brought his face to meet mine. “I want to know what your lips feel like, too.” He didn’t wait to see my reaction and quickly looked off.
But I gasped and wasn’t sure if he’d noticed. Then, unfortunately, the song abruptly ended, and we had no choice but to stop.
When Devin turned to leave the dance floor, I caught him by his arm and gave him one last look. He nodded, then walked off.
Lauren grabbed me before I’d even left the dance floor and announced, “We’re leaving now. Cover for me.”
I snapped back to reality. “Now?” The dance had just started.
“Yes.” She was smiling ear to ear. “I’ve got to go. We might not have a lot of time. See you later.”
Worriedly, I watched Lauren take off. But it made sense they had to go now so they’d have the time remaining in the dance to be together. Now I was alone and wasn’t sure if Devin would dance with me again. All I could do was sit and wait it out.
I glanced around the room and noticed Aaron was sitting alone. Feeling worried no one had danced with him, I walked over to him.
“May I have this dance?”
When Aaron realized it was me, a smile crept across his face. Then his eyes lit up in excitement. He jumped up and immediately took my hand into his.
“Have you found any critters in your cabin?”
“Yeah. But I was told to put the cockroach outside.”
I shuddered. Lauren and I were petrified of them. “Maybe it’s best it stays outside so it can find bugs to eat,” I said, remembering the last one I’d encountered had crawled out of the drain and run up into a tear in the wallpaper. I’d swear it ate some of it. Disgusting.
“Maybe you’re right.”
Thinking about Aaron, it was most interesting to me how he found excitement in discovering a bug. He wanted to keep it and was disappointed he had to let it go. A gross cockroach. And I wondered if my mother found the same joy when I was born. Her flesh and blood. Was she disappointed to let me go?
When the song ended, I thanked Aaron and returned to my seat. The dance really began to drag. I ended up slow dancing a few times with various campers who asked me, just to pass the time before the dance was over. It seemed Devin wasn’t going to dance with me again because that would be too suspicious.
Then Brett announced the last song of the night. Devin was sitting across the room, but I had a perfect view of him. Deciding I didn’t care right now what anyone thought, I got up and made my way over to him to dance. He saw me walking toward him and kept his eyes on me. He knew what I had in mind.
Before I could reach him, I saw Marissa move to stand
in front of him, causing me to stop dead in my tracks. He ran his hand through his hair, and I could tell he was hesitating. Then he did the worst thing possible and accepted her dance request. She pulled him by his hand while she danced to the music on her way to find a spot for them on the dance floor. When he looked in my direction, his expression showed he knew I was hurt.
I refused to watch him dance with Marissa, so I did the only thing I could. Like a child, I ran from the rec hall.
As I made my way to the cabin, all I could think about was Lauren making out with Blake, and Devin holding Marissa. The events of tonight had gone from so great to the very worst.
I’d just made my way across the bridge and was heading up the hill that led to the cabins. Tears were spilling from my eyes, and I needed to get into the safety of the bathroom. Then I heard someone running up behind me. I was about to stop and turn around when someone grabbed my arm and spun me around.
Devin had left the dance early and run after me. He didn’t speak but took me by my hand and led me into the woods until we were away from the camp lights. From where we were, no one could see or hear us. He quickly pulled me into a tight embrace. His gesture was certainly unexpected and made me feel deeply cared about.
“I’m so sorry. I know that really hurt you. I wanted the last dance with you. But I couldn’t tell her that.”
“I know.” I sniffled.
“Have you been crying?”
Nodding, I didn’t look at him but kept my face buried in his chest.
“I’m sorry, Dahlia. I don’t want to make you cry.”
He pulled away and looked at my face. Taking his thumbs, he gently wiped under my eyes to catch any loose tears. He smiled, then pulled me back to him.
“This is all new to me. I don’t know what we’re doing.”
“You’re so worried to like me. Why?” I whispered.
His hand found my hair, and he pulled through it lightly with his fingers. “I’m worried you’ve built me up in your mind to be something I’m not.”
“What do you mean?” I looked at him, but he was staring off thinking.
Edge of Eighteen: A Slow Burn Summer Camp Love Story Page 15
