Hot Mess: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #1)

by Diamond, Jaine

  “Don’t do that,” he said.

  “What? Did you just spank me??”

  “So? I spanked you three seconds ago and you melted.”

  “That was different.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “It just was. The first one was a sexy slap. The second one was a reprimand. Why?”

  “Because, don’t just say that shit about not standing in the way of what I want, just because it’s what you think I want you to say. Say what you mean.”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know what I mean. I’ve never been with a man who wanted to be with other men before.” I laid my head on his chest. “How would I know how it’ll feel until I get there? If it makes you happy, though, I just can’t imagine how it could make me unhappy.”

  “Bullshit,” he challenged.

  I looked up at him. “What’s bullshit?”

  “You’d be totally fine with me screwing some other chick?”

  “No. Oh, no. If you screw another woman, you’ll beg for the day when all I did was catch your dick in a zipper.”

  He grinned. Apparently my threat of violence delighted him. “I knew you had backbone.”

  “Hell, yeah, I have backbone.” I shrugged. “I just don’t think it’ll ever bother me that you like boys as much as you like girls. I mean, I can hardly blame you. I like boys, too.”

  He studied me. “Come here,” he said, his voice husky.

  I wriggled my body up out of the crook of his arm until I was leaning on him, my face close to his. He put his hand gently around the back of my head and drew me closer.

  “As long as I’m your only girl…” I said.

  He paused, looking at my face, just before he kissed me. Then his lips met mine. We kissed, slow and deep. For a long, long time.

  And I sighed right into it. I’d never felt as intimate with him as I did right now.

  It was a very good feeling.

  Then he started kissing his way down my neck, down my chest… and I knew what was coming.

  “You’re insatiable…” I breathed, as he rolled me onto my back.

  “You love it,” he murmured against my skin as he left a trail of kisses down my stomach.

  “I really do. You’re totally ruining me for any other lover, though. You know that, right?”

  “That’s kinda my goal, babe.” He smoothed his thumb over my clit. Then he kissed me there, slowly, and I sighed.

  “What did I do to deserve this…?” I wondered aloud. “I’m trying to figure it out, but the reason for all this sexual adoration eludes me.”

  He chuckled a little as he continued kissing me between my legs. “Sexual adoration?”

  “Yes. I feel like you’re worshiping my body when you do that.”

  “I am.” He teased his tongue over my opening, then dipped inside.

  “Oh, God… When you put your tongue inside me… it’s…”

  “What…?” he whispered, his voice ragged. I loved how it turned him on when he ate me out.

  “Just keep doing that…”

  He did. He thrust his tongue inside me, then swirled it up over my clit a few times… and the pleasure crested quickly—sudden and hot. Tingling. Just a breath away…

  “Do that again…” I begged.

  He did it again… slowly. Lick, little swirls of his tongue, kiss. Over and over and over…

  Then he thrust a finger inside me. He sealed his lips to me and sucked on my clit—and I exploded.

  It felt like my entire being burst apart with pleasure.

  I cried out… but I tried to relax, tried to just go limp and feel everything he was doing to me. His mouth working against me, his tongue. His finger undulating inside me…

  He kept going until he’d wrung every spasm of pleasure from my body, until I couldn’t possibly come anymore. Until I had to wiggle away and ask him to stop.

  “Please,” I gasped. “No more…”

  He came up for air and licked his lip, his eyes hazy with arousal as he slipped his finger out of me. “Fuck, I love it when you come on my face.”

  I sighed and kind of shuddered as he drifted his wet fingertip over my pussy.

  “Yeah… I’ll have to tell Dani she was wrong about you.”

  “Huh?”

  “My sister says guys like you are used to, uh, being catered to,” I said, trying to catch my breath. “And therefore… not good in bed.”

  Ashley fell back on the bed next to me, kind of panting. “Guys like what?”

  “You know. So… good-looking.”

  He laughed. “Well, I feel for your sister, then. On account of all the pretty dudes she’s hooked up with who were shit at sex. But I’ve been with plenty of great-looking guys who were great at sex, so…”

  “Wow.” I stared at the ceiling for a moment, just trying to wrap my head around what he’d just said. “This is cool. Like… I feel like I can talk to you about boys.”

  He snickered. “You can.”

  I looked over at him. He was staring at me, deep in thought.

  “No, wait,” he said, his eyebrows knitting together. “Other people can. You…? I really don’t wanna hear about you with other guys.”

  “It would be past tense.”

  He rolled close to me and leaned on his elbow, looking down at my face. “Yeah. Don’t care. We’re not doing that.” Then he kissed me softly.

  “Um. In the last twenty-four hours, you’ve told me a whole shitload of details about you and other guys. And girls.”

  “I know. I’m an asshole. And a hypocrite. Sorry,” he said, like he wasn’t sorry at all.

  I laughed, then kind of sighed.

  He smoothed my hair back from my face. “Should I stop talking about it?”

  “No. I’m brave. I’ll listen.”

  “Thank you for putting up with my shit.” He gave me another slow kiss, then flopped back, stretching out beside me. “I’m working on it.”

  “Aren’t we all.”

  I felt him staring at me and turned my head to look at him.

  “Why do you put up with her shit?” he asked me.

  “Who’s shit?”

  “Your sister’s.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. Sure, I put up with a lot of shit from my sister. She put up with shit from me, too. That was pretty much what it meant to be twins, in my experience.

  I just hadn’t realized he’d picked up on that fact, exactly.

  “I mean,” he said, “why were you gonna let her have me when you wanted me for yourself?”

  “Oh…”

  “You were totally going to, weren’t you? If she said she wanted me.” His blue eyes held mine, daring me to lie.

  “Maybe.”

  “Danica. Christ.”

  “Sorry,” I said softly. I felt like such a dick admitting it to him.

  “You seriously would’ve done that? Just walked away and let her have me?”

  “Honestly…” I said, “I don’t know. We have a rule, you know? Sisterhood. She had first dibs. That tattoo you got kinda clinched it, Ashley.”

  “Fuck. That fucking tattoo. You know how much I hate that thing?”

  “Don’t hate it. It’s part of you now.”

  “If it made me lose you,” he said, “fucking right, I’d hate it. I’d scrape it off with a nail file if I had to.”

  I cringed. “Oh, God.”

  “Tell me. Why would you do that shit for her? And don’t tell me about a rule and sisterhood.”

  “Ashley—”

  “Did you feel it? From the first moment we met?” He reached over, trailing his hand up my chest, and touched the pulse at my throat. “Did you feel something between us, that night in the rain?”

  “Yeah,” I said, my voice rough. I cleared my throat. “Yes, of course I did. And I wished she didn’t get to meet you first.”

  “Then tell me why you’d actually walk away from me, with what you felt from that first moment, just because she said t
he word.”

  I swallowed. He took hold of my hand.

  “You said you didn’t want to hear about me and other guys,” I said.

  Ashley blinked at me. Then his blue eyes softened with concern at whatever he saw on my face. “Okay. How about I make an exception, just this once.”

  I could tell he was making a real effort at this. That it was an uncomfortable topic for him.

  “You’re a jealous guy,” I observed, gently.

  “Guilty.”

  “I wouldn’t have expected that of you.”

  “Why? Because I like dudes? Doesn’t mean I want to see you with one.”

  “But then how do you do the threesome thing, if that’s the case?”

  He searched my face, then looked away. “Just depends.”

  “On what?”

  “On the people involved. On the relationships.”

  “On the emotions.”

  “Yeah. Those.”

  I squeezed his hand and rolled onto my side to face him. “Okay. I’ll make an exception, just this once, too.”

  He met my eyes.

  “When we were sixteen,” I began, “I developed feelings for my sister’s boyfriend. His name was Jackson.”

  “Sounds like a douche already.”

  I laughed a bit. “Not really. Well… maybe.”

  “He’s a douche. I can already feel where this story’s going.”

  “Yeah… So, we were at a party one night. All three of us. I was pretty drunk. Maybe he was, too—”

  “Nope. Trust me, he wasn’t as drunk as you think.”

  “Can I just tell the story?” I said.

  “Not liking Jackson so far.”

  I sighed. “At one point he came up to me and he seemed to think I was my sister…”

  “Sure he did.”

  “Ugh. You’re making it worse.”

  “Sorry.”

  “And when he kissed me…” I paused to wait for him to say something, but he bit his tongue this time. “I let him. I kissed him back.”

  “Savage,” he teased, but his voice was soft. He squeezed my hand, like he was prompting me to go on.

  I swallowed around the hard lump in my throat. “Hardly. I didn’t let it last long. I came to my senses, even with all the vodka coolers in my system. I felt horrible and confessed to Dani the next day.”

  “What did she do?”

  “She broke up with him. She didn’t believe that he didn’t know exactly who he was kissing.”

  “He knew,” Ashley said.

  “I don’t really know. I mean… he told me, the next time I saw him at school, that he liked me. He wanted to go out with me. But I said no. I wouldn’t, because I didn’t want to hurt Dani. She would’ve been devastated. Like I don’t know if our relationship would’ve ever recovered. She really, uh… liked him,” I concluded.

  That was putting it mildly, but I knew my sister wouldn’t exactly appreciate it if I went around telling people that she’d once been in love with Jackson Blake. From what I knew, he still lived in North Vancouver, not far from Aunt Mireille’s place.

  “So, you put your sister’s feelings and what she wanted ahead of your own feelings,” Ashley concluded.

  “I guess. But what else would I do? She’s my sister. He was just a guy. I had a crush on him for a while, but it never would’ve been worth it to betray my sister that way.”

  For some reason, Ashley looked unconvinced.

  “What?” I said. “I thought you said he was a douche.”

  “Hmm. Do you do that a lot?”

  “Do what?”

  “Put her feelings before your own.”

  “No. I just respect her. I love her. Obviously.”

  Ashley just stared at me, like he was waiting for me to go on.

  “I’ve always regretted kissing him,” I confessed. “And Daniella has always subtly held it over me. You don’t have a brother, so maybe it’s a weird thing to expect you to understand. I don’t know… Maybe it’s like the thing with you and Pepper. You know, the tattoos you gave each other when you were drunk? Dani and I love each other deeply, but we also know how to fuck with each other like nobody’s business.”

  “She hasn’t forgiven you?”

  Was that how I made it sound?

  “She’s forgiven me,” I said, wondering in the back of my mind if that was really true. “She just uses it as ammunition, you know, when she wants my full attention.”

  Ashley shook his head. “I may never understand women,” he mused, as if he was just realizing that now.

  “It’s probably better you don’t,” I said. “Leave something to mystery…” Then I walked my fingers down his body toward his cock. “Can we stop talking about my sister now?”

  “Done.”

  “Good.” I slithered myself downward. “You should probably know… I’m pretty intent on giving you the best head of your life.” His pupils went the size of saucers as he watched me. “I mean, what kind of dream fuck would I be if I didn’t…?”

  Ashley licked his lip as I drifted my fingers up the length of his cock.

  “I realize you’ve been blown by men,” I went on, “so that may be a lofty or even outrageous goal. But a girl’s gotta have goals…” I drifted a fingertip around his piercing and back down his shaft. “Practice makes perfect, right?”

  “Uh… huh…” he breathed. Then his mouth drifted open as I sucked his cock into my mouth, and the most beautiful haze of pleasure softened his face.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Ash

  I’d never woken up to find ninety-five-percent of a woman’s body sprawled directly on top of mine before. I was hotter than Satan’s ball sac and about as sweaty, but I wasn’t about to complain.

  Danica was naked, her tits squished against my ribs and her head on my chest. She was making little purring-sighing sounds that were probably supposed to be snores but totally weren’t.

  We’d fallen back asleep after all the hot morning sex. It was late morning now, and I wasn’t even sure what to do with her. More sex, obviously. But after that… I really didn’t want to let her go. I just really didn’t want this day to end.

  I wanted to keep her.

  Right here, with me.

  I eased out from under her so slowly I didn’t even wake her, managing to leave her undisturbed on the bed. I smoothed her hair off her face. But as I slid my hand away, she grasped my wrist and mumbled, “Don’t go.”

  My heart fucking squeezed as her warm little fingers wrapped around me, clutching tight.

  I leaned down to whisper close in her ear. “Not going anywhere, babe. This is my house, remember? I’ll be right back.”

  I went to take a piss, then wandered into the kitchen and chugged some pineapple juice. Then I poured her a glass of water, like she’d done for me when I stayed over at her place, and took it back to the bedroom. I put it on her side of the bed and slid back in with her.

  She snuggled into my side as I put my arm around her. “What time is it?” she mumbled.

  “Almost noon.”

  “Mmm. Are you hungry? Should I make us more food?”

  “Jesus, you’re nice.” I kissed the top of her head. “Don’t think I’ve ever dated such a nice girl before.”

  She laughed sleepily. “You date mean girls?”

  “Uh-huh. Mean girls. Self-obsessed girls. Emotionally disinterested in me girls…”

  “In summary, girls with issues…?” Danica peeked up at me, then rolled onto her back and stretched leisurely. “Or girls who just aren’t so nice to you?”

  “Something like that. Get back what you put out there, right?”

  “If that’s true,” she said, blinking at me way too innocently, “how come you’re with such a nice girl right now?”

  “You mean because I’m such an asshole?”

  “I’d never say that.”

  “Because you’re so nice. Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

  She slid her hand up to play with
my hair. Fucking loved it when she did that. “You’re a mean boy? Is that what you’re saying, Ashley?”

  “Definitely what some people would say about me.”

  “What would you say?”

  I shrugged. “I just don’t have a lot of patience for shallow people. Narcissistic, fake people. Turns out, the world is full of them. At least the world I live in.”

  “Self-obsessed people?”

  “Yeah. Those. And maybe sometimes I have a hard time biting my tongue about it.”

  “I see.”

  She rested her head against my shoulder. Her fingers slowed, then stilled in my hair. For a minute, I thought she’d fallen back asleep.

  “So…” she asked softly, “which mean girl category did your ex-girlfriend Summer fit into?” She peered up at me. “Or was she an exception to the rule? I mean, I know you said she was the one you were most serious about…”

  “Uh, no. Summer wasn’t an exception. She wasn’t narcissistic exactly, but she was definitely self-absorbed. And untrusting. I mean, if you ask her, she’d probably see it differently.”

  “I’m asking you,” she said. “What about Elle?”

  I studied her pretty face. It still blew me away that she could just talk about this stuff without getting all pissy or jealous about it.

  Like she genuinely wanted to know, and not so she could hold whatever I said against me later or throw it back in my face when she was mad.

  I’d definitely dated that kind of girl, too.

  “Elle was definitely self-absorbed,” I said. “Got a little mean at the end when I didn’t back off like she wanted me to or as fast as she wanted me to. And definitely emotionally disinterested.”

  “And Dylan’s girlfriend?” she asked. “Amber?”

  “Amber was a stuck-up bitch when I first met her,” I said, honestly. “But that was just armor. Underneath that she was warm, caring, and definitely interested. Wasn’t self-absorbed either, but she was definitely Dylan-absorbed.”

  “She never felt the same about you as she felt about him?”

  “You think?”

  “I’m getting the picture…”

  “She was always about him,” I said. “I’d be kidding myself if I tried to imagine it was anything other than that. I mean, she liked me, after a while. I thought for a little while there that we had something special. All of us. Me and her, too. But I was wrong. What I felt was them falling in love with each other. I got caught up in it for a while, seduced by it, confused by it. But if I was really being honest with myself… I knew all along. I knew they fit together, and sooner or later there’d be no room left for me.”