The Switchblade Mamma

by Lindsey Schussman

  25.

  It was a tough couple of weeks. All I could think about was Paige. I did well at keeping our relationship professional. Barrett was up and about. He didn't look at me very often nor speak to me. It didn't bother me very much anyways. Though I didn't really care much for the man, I was somewhat disappointed for I had crushed his trust.

  The seasons change had been in full swing. Over the last couple of days we had gotten a lot of snow. The smooth white blankets covering the forest ground was enough entertainment for me at times. I enjoyed the views, the soft white virgin snow provided as it blanketed the forest floors. Untouched and undisturbed by man. It was always a beautiful site as the sun fought its way through the trees and reflected itself off of the sparkling snow.

  I would run and Clive would follow behind on the ATV. Its ruckus was disturbing me and the wildlife. I turned up the volume on my MP3 player, but when I found a spot that was beautiful, I had to stop. I pulled out my earbuds and listened. Clive was nice enough to kill the engine of the quad. I'd look up toward the sky and listen to my favorite noise, the wind rustling through the trees. I knew Clive didn't mind, for he knew and I knew that this was beneficial for my mood.

  Thanksgiving had come and the time to pack up and leave for the beach house had arrived. It was the early morning after Thanksgiving dinner and I was packing by myself. I had one more week until my first fight of the second season. I had no idea if I was ready for it, but I had no other choice. It was either fight or die.

  I pulled my battle clothes out the drawer. I pulled out my gray Firebird T-shirt. It was still stained with blood, torn but sewn. My pants as well were spattered with blood. The dark rusty color refused to be removed in the wash. Paige pleaded with me to wear something different. My Firebird shirt, with a single hole where I had been stabbed nearly a year ago, was my lucky charm for life. Everyone had their lucky charms. These were the clothes that I was wearing the first night that I was kidnapped. If anything, they were the clothes that I would die in.

  "You ready to go?"

  Her soft voice startled me. I loved the fact that it was her, but I hated it at the same time. Her smell danced about the room. It caused such turmoil inside my stomach. It was a good turmoil though, it was a wanting thing, a need. I smiled quickly before I turned to face her. "Yes, all packed."

  "Are we really doing this?"

  My expression remained dull. I looked at her with no smile nor frown. Deep down inside my heart, it was burning fiercely for her, but at least for my safety and hers, I denied those deep urges. I swallowed hard and playing the dummy, I spoke, "are we really doing what?"

  She walked to me quickly and planted her hands over my cheeks. Paige looked at me with those piercing bright brown eyes. "You have muttered nothing more than a yes or no to me since my father?"

  I raised my hands and slowly pulled hers from my cheeks. "Rearranged my face? Yes, I know. I'm trying to keep a professional relationship between us. It isn't easy. Every time I look at you, my heart burns for the need to touch you, kiss you, and make you whole."

  "Then why don't you? I need you too, you know."

  I gave her a half-witted smile and cocked my head and raised my right brow, Pointing at my face with my left hand and circling it sarcastically. "Ahh, face rearrangement, I thought we covered this?"

  "I gave my dad a nice long talk. He's cool with it."

  I shook my head and let out a deep sigh. "That's not the point Paige. The point is, I might be dead by next week. How do you gather that?"

  A single tear developed in the corner of her right eye and slowly dropped down her cheek. "You seriously don't think I haven't thought about that? Lillian, I am a big girl and I can think for myself and make decisions for myself. Love is about this, these decisions." Paige sat down on the bed and I sat down next to her. "Each and every day with you is a risk, I understand that. You and I both know that this is not just a physical thing. I mean, granted the physical thing is pretty fucking good, but there's something more than that, can you not feel it?" She took her hands and wrapped them around mine.

  I sat for a while, silent. I didn't know what to say. She was right. I was being stubborn, but I only wanted to protect her, protect her feelings, and save her soul from getting mixed into something evil. Each and every day, something evil was being drug out of me. I didn't want Paige anywhere near me when that happened. But maybe, with Paige in my life, just maybe it wouldn't happen.

  "Have you nothing to say? Are you willing to just let this go?" Paige let out a deep gasp and more tears protruded from her eyes.

  I wanted to protect her, but at the same time I was destroying her. I was damned either way. If I loved her, she'd get hurt. If I let her walk, she'd get hurt. I said nothing, but my mind was pointing more towards the love. I would rather to have loved, than to have never loved at all.

  Sobbing, Paige rose quickly and went for the door. Her hand was on the doorknob and turning it.

  "Paige, I love you. I want you. Your soul sets me on fire. I love the taste of your skin in my mouth and I love the way your eyes dance in the sun. I love the way your hair feels through my fingertips and I love the way your hips feel in my hands. I love how you're so caring and always brave and afraid of nothing. Paige, I love you."

  She slowly removed her hand from the door and turned to me. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she wore a smile of sweet serendipity. She came to me quickly and sat down next to me on the bed. She placed her hands upon my face and mine upon hers. We shared a deep need. A comfort that only the two of us could provide. We shared each other's lips and united our souls. Till the end of eternity, I was hers and she was mine.

  There was a bit of a pop and a skip in my step. I smiled as I tossed my bag into the back of the U-Haul. Paige was just what I needed and the world was in my hands. I danced about giddily as Clive was the last person that I saw before he shut the flap down and encased me into total darkness. I could not help but smile, for my happiness enveloped my soul. Love was a strange thing, but one thing that I did know, was it was love that I needed to get me through.

  I looked forward to once again being at the beach house. I enjoyed the smells of the ocean. I enjoyed the rhythmic heartbeat that the waves sent as they crashed on the shore. Buckled up into my throne, I listened to my MP3 player. I thought for the New Year, I should have a new song. I finally found one by Marilyn Manson, The fight song... The song took the words right out of my mouth. I could not have said it any better.

  I slept the whole way. I knew what was exactly ahead of me and what I had to do. The suspense and the nervousness was all gone. Well, almost all gone. I did think of the four girls I would have to fight to survive. I would show them mercy. I hoped that they would show me mercy as well.

  The long trip had finally ended and once again the U-Haul was backed into the garage of the beach house. To the unsuspecting eye, we were just the snowbirds moving in for the winter. As the back of the U-Haul door opened, I was greeted by Clive and a wonderful amber hue that was cascaded into the back of the truck by the fading sun. I smiled and took a deep breath, inhaling the damp ocean air. I greeted Clive, picked up my bag and jumped off the back of the truck. Because I already knew the drill, I quickly walked into the house and entered the kitchen.

  The kitchen counters were already clambered with boxes of food. I sat at the kitchen table quietly, waiting for sight of Paige. Barrett and Clive walked in and out of the garage bearing duffel bags of clothing and personal belongings. Still no sign of Paige.

  As everything was being unloaded, I waited until the last moment, when I knew Clive was going to take the U-Haul and hide it to ask him if I could change my song. He was on his way out with the keys in hand when I caught him. "Hey Clive, got a question."

  He stopped in his tracks. Smiling behind his thick beard, he walked the table and sat down in the chair across from me. "Ohh, and what might dis question be?"

  "Could you change my theme song?" I hesitantly asked.

&n
bsp; Like a five-year-old with a grizzly beard, he grinned. "Any tin for da Switchblade Mamma!"

  I smiled back with all lips and no teeth. "Good. You gotta put on, The Fight Song by Marilyn Manson, got it?"

  He quickly got up and put both palms on the table. "Roger that, little blade."

  Clive dross happily left the beach house. As he opened the door to the garage, I yelled out with a big "thank you!"

  I still, silently waited at the kitchen table. It was a little after 5 o'clock and the amber sun rays had completely faded into a dark blueness. The sun no longer shown through the windows. The house was now illuminate by an electric bliss.

  My stomach by now was on fire. I had at least been waiting at the table for over half an hour. Barrett was taking all the duffel bags upstairs and into the rooms, but still no sign of Paige. I became worried. I didn't want to move from my spot for fear of Barrett, even though I was dying to play the Pac-Man arcade that was sitting only feet away.

  Paul Bishop had a wonderful beach house. One of the rooms that was next to the kitchen was a game room. It consisted of a pool table, a ski ball, many arcades and pinball machines. I salivated at the thought of playing one of the arcades. At least for the last 15 minutes prior to Paige's emergence, it was all I could think of.

  As I grew bored and tired, I laid my head into my arms and rested on the table. I slowly drifted into sleep. I was suddenly woken by a firm hand shaking my shoulder. Startled, I quickly turned to look behind me and saw Paige's face.

  "Shall I walked to your room?" She pleasantly asked.

  Feeling the sleep encrust my eyes, I rubbed them. I rose from my chair and sleepily followed Paige out of the kitchen, into the living room and up the stairs. The hallway was brightly lit and my door was the first one on the right. She gracefully opened it and let me in.

  The room to be was brightly lit. It was filled with the smell of clean linens. I walked to the bed and plopped myself down, letting out a deep breath of comfort.

  "Are you hungry?"

  Still lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, I replied. "Yeah, I could use some vittles."

  "Everyone has already hit the hay. I can bring you up a sandwich or something you wish."

  I raised my head from the bed. I looked at Paige momentarily. She stood there by the door, heart so caring as usual. I could feel her warmth and smiled at her. "I love you, Paige."

  She walked to me, came to the bed and placed her body onto mine. She wrapped my face into her hands and kissed me. "And I love you."

  Paige, still looking into my eyes, her lips slowly left mine. She took her hand and drew it through my hair. "Are you still hungry?"

  I gave her a grin. "Naww, your love just filled me up."

  She could not help but laugh, revealing her gorgeous smile and perfect pearly whites. "So damn cheesy, but cute." Paige kissed me once more on the cheek, slowly rose and walked to the door. "I gotta get everything situated downstairs. See you later tonight?" She asked.

  I sat up and I nodded. "Later tonight, mi amore."

  The week ahead was business as usual. Fitz arrived in the morning and training had commenced. I had begun to watch videos of my new opponent. Beautiful Bo was a big girl. Her weapon was lethal, but not lethal, hence my training with the bow staff. Apparently, in the rules of hen fighting, it was okay for your opponents to reject your current weapons of mass destruction, if they were not as destructive as your own. My weapon, being knives, were currently Rejected. According to Fitz, my first fight of the second season, I would be armed with the bow staff.

  I didn't mind it, but was rather happy with thought. How could a bow staff be deadly? I embraced the teachings of my new weapon. Yes, there would be blood, but at least there would be no slicing, nor dicing. My exercises and training was as pleasant as pleasant could be. The week went off without a hitch and come Saturday, I was ready.