Ardently Loved

by Lory Lilian

  “Miss Elizabeth, I hope you know how delighted we would be with your company. As I am sure you know: you need no invitation to visit your sister’s future home whenever you please.”

  “True, true…Jane will soon be the mistress there…you must come,” Bingley seconded him.

  Elizabeth concealed her laugh at Bingley’s indecision in calling his betrothed either Jane or Miss Bennet and his embarrassment every time he mentioned his sisters.

  In the end, she abandoned any opposition. She cared too little about the superior sisters to worry about the lack of an invitation, and her own sister’s plea was more important than anything else.

  She smiled and nodded, speaking mostly to Darcy. “Very well. Even if nobody enjoys my presence, I shall still go to support my sister. After all, I am accustomed to general disapproval in Netherfield from last year.”

  Darcy’s expression became severe then lit again. “I heartily disagree with the notion of general disapproval, Miss Elizabeth, and I know I speak both for Bingley and for myself. Your stay at Netherfield was a pleasure last year just as it will be now.”

  “It is such a relief to hear that.” Elizabeth tried to laugh while blushing.

  The bold statement, provided publicly one more time, equally pleased and disturbed her. It also drew the curiosity of others, as she felt both her parents’ inquiring gazes upon her. Nothing in his words was improper; from any other gentleman they would be taken as a simple proof of courtesy. But from Mr. Darcy, such statements were almost impossible to imagine and, therefore, had a peculiar meaning.

  It bothered her to keep a secret from her father, but what could she possibly tell him. Was she lying to her parents? Not quite. In truth, there was nothing but mere friendship between Darcy and her. About the painful day in Kent, she would never disclose anything to a living soul except Jane. Besides, it was the past—one best forgotten.

  While the two elder Miss Bennets hurried to change for the visit, the gentlemen retired to the library for drinks and conversation.

  Elizabeth prepared herself with great care for a visit of no apparent importance. She changed her gown twice before deciding on the right one. Her hair needed extra pins as a rebel lock kept falling on her nape.

  “Lizzy, are you ready yet? Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy are waiting. You look lovely indeed.”

  “You look beautiful as always, Jane. Show a little patience for someone who does not possess your perfect beauty,” she answered, finally tidying her bonnet and coat and folding her gloves in the reticule. “And the gentlemen are well taken care of; we must not pity them. I am sure they enjoyed the time with Papa and Uncle Gardiner. Do you think we can persuade them to remain here instead of spending unpleasant time with your rude future sisters?”

  “Dear Lizzy, do not speak so! You are such a tease sometimes. Come, let us hurry.”

  “Or ‘make haste,’ as our cousin Mr. Collins likes to say.” Elizabeth laughed, and Jane held her arm as they moved down the stairs.

  With a quick farewell from the family, they left the house. Rain and wind had returned, so they ran towards the carriage. Jane quickly sat inside, Elizabeth across from her. Mr. Bingley immediately took the place beside his betrothed while Darcy settled on Elizabeth’s right.

  She knew that would happen—she hoped for it—and the sensation was as delightful as she remembered. She welcomed the closeness she had missed and glanced at him, a soft warmth enveloping her when he responded with a gentle smile.

  “Are you comfortable, Miss Elizabeth?” he asked while adjusting himself on the seat.

  “Yes, thank you,” she replied, and the carriage moved, making their bodies brush against each other. She almost dropped her reticule, and he hurried to catch it. Their bare fingers met and entwined for a moment then lingered together another instant before he gently withdrew his. She immediately shivered although she felt heated; her lips were dry, and she licked them then glanced at him. From inches away, his eyes tenderly caressed her face. She squeezed the reticule with trembling, clumsy hands, wondering how close Netherfield was and hoping the journey would last longer.

  But Netherfield was already in sight. The carriage moved steadily, and every jolt made them touch but put no more distance between them. Jane and Bingley talked without Elizabeth hearing much of it.

  “We are home,” Bingley soon announced happily. “Such a pity it is raining again—and quite badly. Jane, give me your hand.”

  The couple ran to the front door, then stopped and waited. Elizabeth expected Darcy to follow, but he delayed an instant, watching her.

  “Perhaps you should put your gloves on; it is very cold,” he said.

  Elizabeth eyed him with astonishment. “Thank you for your care, but I shall be fine until we are inside.” She smiled.

  “As you wish.” He left the carriage and helped her down. The rain fell more heavily, making the cold even more pervasive. Before she knew it, both her hands were resting in his right palm, covered by his other hand. He directed her inside the house, and she followed him, mesmerised. He eventually freed her hands in the main hall, but she remained still.

  Mr. Bingley helped Jane take off her coat, and that gesture finally awoke Elizabeth from her daydream. She removed her coat but felt silly and awkward and did not dare to look at Darcy. She removed her bonnet, wondering whether her cheeks were as red as they felt.

  “Dear Jane! Welcome to our home!” Miss Bingley’s voice sounded equally loud and insincere. Elizabeth did not miss the mention of their home, and she tried to regain some composure before turning to the hostess.

  “Oh—and Eliza,” Miss Bingley continued. “What a lovely surprise. Come, let us enter; tea and refreshments have been waiting for some time.”

  That was a sharp comment that she had not been invited and they were late. Elizabeth breathed and smiled while Jane greeted the sister with kind politeness.

  “Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, you are finally here! Bingley, where on earth have you been? I have been waiting for you for an hour,” the colonel scolded them cheerfully. “You have come with the rain.”

  “Well, it is good that Eliza has come by carriage instead of on foot. She used to enjoy that sort of exercise,” Caroline Bingley said sharply.

  “I still enjoy it, Miss Bingley. Walking may be quite wonderful, especially in the right company,” Elizabeth replied. Strangely, Miss Bingley’s rudeness, which had bothered her so much before, now sounded rather amusing.

  “It is fine exercise indeed,” Darcy intervened with apparent indifference. “I have become quite in favour of walking lately, despite my partiality for riding.”

  “I completely agree with Miss Elizabeth. Anything is pleasant if it is in the right company,” the colonel concluded, but Elizabeth’s little mischievous smile was regarding the previous statement. Since his return, Darcy supported her in every difficult situation. He was always there to protect her if needed. She truly enjoyed the small public exchanges, in which only she and Darcy knew the real meaning. They had a private language, forbidden to everyone else. They spoke to each other with few words but great comprehension.

  “Miss Elizabeth, shall we?”

  The colonel offered his arm to Elizabeth, and she took it, stealing a glance at Darcy’s unreadable expression. Finally, the party entered the drawing room, where Mr. Hurst, enjoying a glass of wine, barely interrupted his repast to acknowledge the ladies.

  Jane was forced to comply with Caroline and Louisa’s request to stay with them and answer their questions. The conversation sounded awkward, as Bingley’s sisters spoke without even waiting for Jane’s reply. Elizabeth could not bear being part of the discussion; therefore, she chose the settee. The colonel joined her, while Darcy and Bingley stayed close to Mr. Hurst.

  Tea, cold meat, cheese, and sweets were served on elegant plates, but there was little joy
in the handsome room.

  “Miss Bennet, there is something I wished to say to you,” said the colonel, “and I hoped to find a private moment. Would you join me in that corner of the room by the window?”

  “Of course, sir. I trust it is nothing of concern?”

  “No…I hope not…” They took a few steps, and several pairs of eyes followed them with puzzlement. “I have been troubled by this subject since I heard of Bingley’s engagement to your sister.”

  “What could it be, sir?”

  “I must apologise for the day when we walked together in Kent. I told you about Darcy congratulating himself for saving Bingley from an imprudent connection. It took me a while to realise how my words affected you. I accidentally hurt you with my thoughtless ranting because my story referred to your sister—did it not?”

  Elizabeth was equally dumbfounded and puzzled. Why would he speak of something that happened nine months ago? That conversation was the beginning of her horrible fight with Mr. Darcy, and she struggled to keep it in a hidden part of her memories. But why would it trouble the colonel? Why would he recall the discussion after such a long time?

  “Please do not worry about any past conversation, sir. All is fine now. My sister will marry Mr. Bingley in a fortnight, and they are as happy as can be.”

  “I see that now. Darcy confessed to me his involvement and told me how he blamed himself for almost ruining his friend’s happiness. But I did not dare tell him about our conversation. I know he greatly values your opinion, and I did not want to pain him even further.”

  Elizabeth smiled warmly and looked at Darcy—who returned a puzzled glance—then back at the colonel.

  “Mr. Darcy and I have discussed this matter thoroughly. There is nothing unclear between us regarding the subject. I thank you for your genuine care, but in my opinion, we should forget everything from the past that does not give us pleasure.”

  He smiled and took her hand to his lips politely.

  “As you wish. Miss Elizabeth, I cannot waste this chance to tell you that, from the beginning of our acquaintance, I have admired you. If my situation in life were different and I could afford to make a choice with my heart, I would surely wish to know you better and to offer you more than my loyal friendship.”

  Elizabeth gently withdrew her hand. “Dear Colonel Fitzwilliam, your friendship honours me, and I value it exceedingly. I hope to benefit from it for many years in the future, and I assure you of my loyalties in return. I am proud and grateful that you choose me with your heart—as your friend. No matter your situation in life, there is nothing more I could wish from you.”

  He looked surprised, but she knew he understood her meaning. With amusement, she considered that no Fitzwilliam man could imagine a woman being unaffected by his attention. She hoped the colonel would take her at her word—a simple, genuine confession of her true feelings. She had never expected anything more from him, and she was confident that his feelings for her—if any—were no different, even if he fantasised himself otherwise.

  Their conversation over, Elizabeth was about to return to the settee for another cup of tea when Miss Bingley approached them.

  “Colonel Fitzwilliam, what secrets do you have with Eliza, if I may ask?”

  “You may ask, Miss Bingley, but I might not be willing to answer. That is the essence of a secret, is it not?”

  The colonel’s tone was amused as he stepped towards the curious lady.

  “You should not worry, Miss Bingley. I share no secrets with Miss Elizabeth, only a private conversation with no importance to anyone else.”

  “I surely did not worry, but you must understand my puzzlement. I did not know you and Miss Elizabeth had anything private in common. I was not even aware that you were acquainted. And now, you look so close that I wonder whether we should prepare for another wedding in the Bennet family. An earl’s son would be quite a valuable addition.”

  She laughed loudly at her own joke, joined by Louisa, while shock turned the other silent.

  The sharp tone and impertinent implication drove Elizabeth to the edge of her patience. She noticed Darcy’s growing anger, but she preferred not to allow him to intervene. She did not need help in handling Caroline’s insolence.

  With a grin, she responded, “Miss Bingley, I confess I am acquainted with many gentlemen of whom you are not aware, and I have private matters to discuss with some of them. Would you like me to keep you informed about each particular case?”

  Darcy’s lips twisted in a satisfied smile while Jane paled and Louisa and Caroline turned red.

  “That will not be necessary, Eliza; I assure you,” the latter replied.

  “I am relieved to hear it, Miss Bingley,” Elizabeth smiled to temper her sharp tone before refilling her teacup.

  “But you must admit that, with everything that has occurred in your family in the last months, one can expect anything and be prepared for any development. Even Mr. Darcy has appeared to change his opinion quite drastically regarding you and your family,” Caroline continued.

  “Miss Bingley, are these unladylike comments meant to offend me or Miss Elizabeth?” the colonel inquired sharply.

  “It is not about offending but about speaking the truth,” Caroline declared. “You must know that the youngest Miss Bennet eloped with the son of old Mr. Darcy’s steward and they married after some time had passed. And then, my brother suddenly decides to return to Hertfordshire and to marry. It would be quite a development to hear of an earl’s son stepping over prudence and wisdom to do the same. The family must possess a peculiar charm, noticed only by certain gentlemen.”

  Elizabeth’s cheeks coloured even more, and Jane became pale, her hands trembling so fiercely that she almost dropped her cup of tea. Bingley hurried to take it from her and put it on the table.

  “Caroline, what on earth is wrong with you? How can you say such malicious things? You are always rude to Miss Elizabeth. We are family now, and I shall not allow you to continue in this way. You will apologise now or leave us!”

  “Charles, you cannot scold your sister publicly,” Louisa intervened. “Nor can you dismiss her!”

  “Is that so? But she can scold anyone whenever she pleases? Do not try to silence me in my own house! I can do whatever I please!”

  “I shall leave if the truth is so difficult to accept,” Caroline growled without actually moving. “But nobody in our situation in life would be content to become the brother or sister of Mr. Wickham! There are other things that we must accept, as we have no choice, but you cannot expect us to be pleased or to conceal our true feelings!”

  Anger distorted Caroline’s handsome features while Jane looked so ill that Elizabeth feared she would faint. She quickly moved to her sister, ready to take her home and put an end to this dreadful encounter.

  “I must say that the spiteful remarks and mischievous insinuations are very unbecoming to a lady,” the colonel added severely. “I cannot imagine what man would want such behaviour in a future wife. Personally, I avoid any woman who is mean-spirited. As for Miss Elizabeth, I believe the man who marries her will be very fortunate, and I am rather sad not to be that man.”

  “Indeed,” Darcy intervened. “There are women whom a man would rather not marry, despite the inducement of their favourable situation in life, and women whom a man will be tempted to marry against any barrier or opposition—such as Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth. I make no secret that I have changed my opinion on this. I shall not deny that I first misjudged many things and many people. But I never failed to recognise the worthiness of both ladies. You, Miss Bingley, will surely remember that, even last October, I admitted to you my admiration for Miss Elizabeth. Surely, you have not forgotten since you teased me about it many times.”

  His voice became stronger with every word and with the effort to conceal his fury.

&n
bsp; “I cannot congratulate Bingley enough for deciding to listen to his heart. But I find it strange and censurable that Miss Bennet was invited here for tea, only to be forced to bear offences from someone who should be considered a friend. I truly hope she will carefully decide whom she will admit to this house once she becomes its mistress,” Darcy concluded.

  “It was not my intention to offend Jane,” Caroline maintained.

  “Then your success must have been unconscious,” the colonel said.

  “Well, the rain has stopped,” Louisa suddenly announced. “But it seems likely to begin again.” Her attempt to end the conversation was equally rude.

  Elizabeth and Darcy exchanged glances; then she took Jane’s hand in comfort.

  “We should leave before that happens,” Elizabeth answered. She struggled to keep her composure but failed, so she continued. “Jane, as soon as you move to Netherfield, you must reserve a room for me. I promise I shall not often bother you, but it would be nice to know I need not be forced to hurry home when it rains.”

  Jane attempted a smile, but Darcy’s response caused Elizabeth to startle, her eyes wide in disbelief.

  “You may use my room whenever I am not here, Miss Elizabeth. It is large and comfortable, and the view is beautiful.”

  She blinked and breathed a couple of times, not knowing how to reply. She realised his words were only meant to upset Caroline Bingley, who was now shocked and pale.

  But his little attempt to mock Caroline, which should have amused Elizabeth, troubled her greatly. Her thoughts circled the idea of using Darcy’s room and resting in the bed where he usually slept. A strange heat enveloped her, and she strove to regain some calmness before answering with the same purpose of disturbing Caroline.

  “I would not wish to do that, Mr. Darcy, as I hope you will often be at Netherfield. Any other room would suffice.”

  “I shall try to be at Netherfield as often as Bingley invites me. Since he will be a married man, I would never intrude on his privacy,” Darcy answered.