Afraid to Hope (Secrets & Seduction)

by MJ Nightingale

  Lou sat on the edge of the dock and put her feet into the clear water. She could see Jay’s legs from this angle. He was treading, and held his hands out to her to help ease her into the water. She slid herself closer to the edge and slid into his waiting arms. The difference in the water temperature and the night air was a few degrees only, so although chilly, it felt amazing. The cool water, she thought, would do just as much for her aching limbs as the hot.

  When Lou looked comfortable enough, he reluctantly let her go. He hadn’t had much of a chance to hold her all day. But, that could come later he thought with an inward grin. If she wasn’t refreshed by this, though, he could let his libido suffer one more night, he thought grimly. So, they both enjoyed the refreshing cool spring water and just stretched the achiness away.

  They treaded water for a while and swam across to Jay’s side and back. Looking across at her dock, and the soft muted light crossing the distance, it reminded her of a scene from one of her all-time favorite books, the Great Gatsby. Hopefully, her story wouldn’t be hopeless like poor Jay Gatz, and then she shook that negative thought away. The night sounds were getting louder, and watching Jay floating on his back in the slow moving water, was a sight to behold. She made her way over to him quietly, and feeling a bit reenergized decided to splash him.

  “Oh, so is that how you want to play it,” he queried. He positioned himself upright swiping the drops of water from his face and made chase. Lou was a good swimmer, and was able to outpace him briefly. But he caught up to her quickly. His hand captured one of her feet, and using his superior strength, he was able to pull her body to him swiftly.

  Near enough now, he positioned his hands on her shoulders and dunked her under the water, releasing immediately. When Lou popped back up to the surface, her mischievous revengeful side had her lunging after him. She knew she couldn’t sink him, but she was going to give it one hell of a try. Wrapping her arms around his neck she forced her body weight down with all her might, but it was to no avail. He didn’t budge.

  Jay just burst out laughing at her foolish attempts shaking his shoulders to dislodge her. His laughter echoed across the water that was now emitting little rolls of steam as the night temperature began to drop. Lou looked into his laughing eyes. God, she thought this man was incredible. Funny, a good sense of humor, caring, and thoughtful. How did she get so lucky? She was thankful. It had only been a week and a half, but it seemed longer somehow.

  Jay sensed the change in Lou as her grip loosened and her legs raised to wrap around him. He looked into her eyes and what he saw amazed him and terrified him at the same time. She was falling for him, and he knew he felt the same way, but his fear of commitment still lurked inside his soul. Could he do this again? Could he risk his heart? And fail, again!

  Lou’s lips descended on his and he returned the kiss, but because his mind was a whirl of emotions he wasn’t able to put the passion behind it that he normally would have. He held her and treaded water, supporting their weight effortlessly in the buoyant current.

  Lou ended the kiss, sensing his reticence. She had thought he was in the mood. But perhaps he was as tired as she. With a sigh, she laid her head on his shoulder not wanting to press.

  “We should head back in,” Jay murmured, and when he felt her nod against his shoulder, he set her free. They both set off towards her side of the canal. He easily pulled himself up onto the dock. Then he gave his hand to her and smoothly pulled her up. Still holding her hand, they crossed the yard together and entered the Florida room where Missy still soundly slept. Grabbing towels Jay had retrieved from the car, they dried themselves off, and Lou began to take off her wet under things, slipping into a large t-shirt. Jay had taken off his boxers and had slipped into his jeans commando style.

  Even though they hadn’t discussed it, she almost knew what he was going to say, before he said it. “I got to work tomorrow at eleven, but I’ll be over early to help you set up and start the kitchen. I’ll sand the drywall down so that will be ready to paint before I go.”

  Resigned, she had sensed him pulling back, she just smiled and said, “Thanks, Jay, you really don’t have to. What you did today was more than enough.”

  “I want to, Lou.” He gave her a silly little grin.

  The silence yawned between them. They just looked at each other across the room wondering what the other was thinking.

  Lou broke the silence first. “Okay, in the morning then.”

  “In the morning,” he murmured softly and turned to go.

  It had been a long day, and for the most part, a good one, Lou sighed as she turned towards her blankets.

  Despite her worries about Jay, Lou was able to sleep. She had been exhausted, but set her alarm to wake up early anyway. She had quite a bit she wanted to have done before her furniture and appliance delivery in the late afternoon. She passed right out after settling into her duvet and with her comforter over her she was as snug as a bug in a rug. She hit snooze once, but was happy to wake a few minutes later by the sound of Jay coming in. She had given him her spare key. He carried two steaming portable mugs of coffee and a bag of donuts under one arm.

  “Wakey, wakey,” he teased.

  “What time is it?” she murmured from under the heavy down.

  “Six-thirty-five, Sunshine!” He smiled her way as he set the containers down on the counter, adding cream and sugar from little packets he had brought as well. “Come on, darling, you’ve got me for four hours before I turn into a pumpkin.”

  Lou groaned, and rolled up to a sitting position. Jay came with her coffee and then went to examine his work on the wall he had made the day before.

  “I’ll start on this,” he informed her taking a sip of his coffee his back still turned from her. Lou got up, and pulled on a pair of shorts, tying her shirt into a knot getting ready to work. “Why don’t you wipe out the kitchen cabinets to get them ready for paint? I’ll use the duster on the walls to clean them and they will be ready for paint. He took another sip from his steaming cup and Lou, who had gotten hers from the counter, did the same murmuring her appreciation.

  “Thank-you for this, and this,” she raised her arms to indicate all he had done.

  “You are welcome, baby,” he approached and stooped to kiss her. She raised her face to meet his lips. It was simple, sweet and short, but it eased the strain from last night’s leaving. “I’ll stay tonight. I’ll try,” he whispered regretfully.

  Lou’s smile was genuine and she nodded up at him, a lump forming in her throat. He was going to try for her. She took a step back out of his arms and that is when she saw his t-shirt. It read, “I’m tall. My girlfriend is short. Perfect!

  “You like?” He asked when he saw her bemused expression.

  “I like.” She laughed. “You pig.”

  Jay finished sanding the walls fairly quickly, it took him another hour to clean them all, and Lou had just gotten the paint ready to start on the rest of the interior when she heard a honk from a car horn outside.

  Peering out the window, she recognized Monica’s car. Ana’s sister was coming out of her SUV carrying coffee and donuts, and to Lou’s delight it looked like she was here to work from the clothes she was wearing. Monica had her long shiny mahogany hair in a ponytail. She wore cutoff jeans, and a t-shirt. Lou was relieved with Jay leaving in a bit, having Monica would help make the day pass by more easily and the work get done a whole lot faster.

  “Sexy little thing,” Jay murmured in her ear. She hadn’t heard him approach and it startled her. “She Spanish?” He rumbled in her ear.

  Lou swatted his hand for that remark. “Are you trying to get me jealous!” and then added, “No, that’s Monica, Ana’s sister.”

  “Hot damn, the two of them are smoking. They must have given their father heart attacks when they were teens.”

  “Listen, buddy,” Lou laughed. “You better cut that shit out, or I might have to get my revenge on you later.” Lou swatted him again for good measure, and he offere
d her a mischievous smile before heading to the door to open it for Monica. Just before opening the door, he whispered over his shoulder to Louisa, “To flat for my likes, anyhow.” Lou warmed.

  She made the introductions, and Jay behaved himself for the first little bit as this was his first time meeting the normally shy Monica. But, Monica was not to be outdone today. She showed up beaming and had some surprising news of her own to share. Her eyes were glowing and was soon regaling Jay and Lou with the details of her and Victor’s reunion. They were back together. No more secrets, and no more pretending, she told Lou in aside later on.

  Monica’s mood was infectious, and they got a lot of work done while she told Lou what had happened with them yesterday. Monica talked and worked, lathering paint on the walls of the kitchen while retelling the entire story. How Victor had met her at the race, at the finish line actually, with a sign that said he chose her. He gave her a rose, apologized profusely for being a blind ass, and not seeing what was right in front of him. Lou was thrilled for her. Even Jay put in his two cents now and then from his position in the living room. Lou was doing the cutting in and listening to her friend tell her tale. The large living room kitchen combo was coming alive as all three painted the room a soft butter cream to take advantage of the light. One wall would be painted an accent lime green to give the room an even larger appearance.

  When Monica finished her story, Lou couldn’t be happier. It looked like the couple might actually stand a chance, if Victor lived up to his promises. “That is fantastic.” Lou hugged her friend. Although five years her junior, Monica had been like a little sister, one they always felt the need to include and protect, but she had emerged from her shell and was experiencing, or so it seemed, a full rich life. Lou began to resume her painting, as did Monica.

  But, Monica wasn’t done yet. The usually quiet woman was talking a mile a minute. It was Victor this and Victor that, and Jay began to roll his eyes over her head, and make strange gestures in his attempt to distract Lou. It took all of Lou’s willpower to not laugh out loud when Jay started yawning and pretending he was bored.

  “Yes, then he took me to meet his mom,” Monica continued.

  “Wow! That is fantastic. I am thrilled beyond belief.” Lou grabbed a cup of the lukewarm coffee and finished it while Jay clasped his hands together and pretended to be sleeping. Her coffee came out her nose.

  Jay was quick to react. “Are you okay?” he came forward.

  “Fine, fine,” she announced shooing him away while he pounded on her back with his massive hand.

  He eased up on her, and she had to shirk his hand off. Monica excused herself to use the rest room, and Lou gave Jay what for, for making her cough. He just laughed and apologized promising to make it up later. His eyebrows rose and fell suggestively when Monica reentered the room. Her blush told them she had caught the tail end of the conversation.

  Not too long afterwards, Jay announced that he needed to go to work. He shook Monica’s hand telling her it was nice to meet her and gave Lou a passionate kiss in front of her friend that had both Monica and Lou blushing. He left to go wash up at his place, but promised to return later to finish up, and help with the unpacking. Jay had gotten two walls done in the living room, and instructed the girls to do the accent wall last to ensure the spackle on the drywall was fully dry. The kitchen was finished by noon, and Monica set in on one side of the cabinets and Lou the other, painting them white.

  The girls chatted away talking about the men in their lives. Without Jay there, they were able to share some of their hopes and dreams. They lost all track of time until they heard the sound of a car in the driveway a few hours after Jay left. Lou went to look, and didn’t recognize the man, obviously military by the shaved head, and military cargo pants getting out of the SUV which he had parked next to Monica’s. He carried sodas and what appeared to be a big box of tacos from Taco Bell.

  “I don’t know who it is, Mon? Do you?” Lou called to her friend who was climbing off her perch on the counter.

  Monica glimpsed out the window and then squealed her delight, “Victor!” She made a dash for the door, and swung it open to greet her man. Holy hotness, he was gorgeous, Lou thought. He had the bluest eyes that glowed at the sight of Monica. She got on tiptoes to kiss him, and then took the cup tray from him and set it on the counter. He followed her right in and set the box down.

  Victor swept Monica into his arms, the peck had clearly not been enough. It was like a repeat of what Jay had done to her a few hours ago. He planted a kiss on Monica that had Lou pretty impressed with the man’s abilities. When it ended, he apologized and explained that he had PT duty once a month on base, but his supervisors allowed them to leave early because it was a holiday weekend. “Monica had mentioned coming here to help her friend, and I just didn’t want to be away from her very long, anymore,” he added, and smiled at Monica who hadn’t yet recovered from the public demonstration of affection he had just performed. It would take some time to get used to seeing Victor so demonstrative. He had kept the relationship pretty private the first time around. Lou watched as he looked at her and then back to Monica. He leaned in to kiss her blushing cheek, and she reached up to touch his face. It was crazy, but so clear to see how much those two were in love. Lou hadn’t met the man until now, but was happy to see this. Like Ana, she hadn’t been pleased by the stories Monica had shared earlier about him. He had a lot to make-up for, but Lou thought he was off to a pretty good start.

  Eyes shining, he turned back to Lou and gave her a sheepish smile. “So, I came to help, and to be with her, if that’s okay with you?” he asked.

  “Of course,” Lou laughed. “I won’t turn down any offer of help. Thank you for coming,” she added and reached out to shake his hand.

  “I brought lunch figuring you wouldn’t have much in your new home yet and knowing Monica, she would forget to eat, and she needs to.” He gave her a sharp look of concern.

  “Absolutely,” Louisa piped in. “I’m thrilled to have whatever help I can get. I am also starving. So this is perfect!” Lou went to the box of tacos on the counter inhaling the spicy aroma. “I was wondering how we were going to be able to do the ceiling in here,” she added as she took several tacos out of the box and set them on the counter. “You could do that for me Victor. But let’s eat first.”

  “Good idea. I am actually hungry,” Monica piped in digging through the box searching for a soft chicken taco.

  “Me too,” Victor laughed right behind her. Monica didn’t see it, but Lou caught the look when Victor stated he was hungry. She knew that look of hunger and it wasn’t hunger for food that she saw in his eyes.

  Lou laughed and joined them at the counter.

  It was just about four o’clock when they began packing up the paint. It was perfect timing too because the furniture company truck was pulling into her driveway.

  “Perfect timing,” Victor stated as he tapped the lids of the paint remnants shut. “Save these for touch ups,” he advised picking up the cans and carrying them to the Florida room. She would put them in one of her storage closets underneath the carport later.

  “Thanks, I will,” Lou stated on her way to the door. Lou greeted the movers, signed the orders, and inspected each piece as they brought the items in and set them where she wanted them. The house was taking shape right before her eyes as each piece was put into its place with an inch to spare to allow the paint to finish drying. Monica and Victor hastily picked up the tarps in each room the movers wanted to go in, and threw them in the backyard for cleaning and folding later. The tarps had caught all the paint splatter and left her floors clean. They still needed deeper cleaning, but would do for now. She was planning on getting some area rugs anyhow, but did want to resurface the wood floors at a later date.

  The movers were fast. Within thirty minutes, they had all the furniture in place, and now all that was left was the unpacking, and decorating.

  When the movers left the trio decided a short break
was in order, and had a cool beer in the Florida room while Missy played outside. Teddy had left what was left over from his twelve pack in a cooler yesterday on her back patio. They put the remainder in the newly arrived refrigerator and enjoyed the beer. It still had a nice chill to it. Victor threw monkey a few times for the dog to get some exercise while they enjoyed the crisp autumn air. “Nice dog, Lou,” he told them. “I’ve always wanted one.”

  “Not you too,” Lou laughed thinking of Jay. When he looked at her curiously she explained her boyfriend had never had one either.

  “Well, I grew up in the city,” Victor explained. “My parents didn’t think it was fair to have a dog there, and I didn’t want some ankle biter we could keep inside,” he laughed throwing the well-worn purple monstrosity that was Missy’s monkey.

  Monica joined him in the yard, and Lou retreated to the house to give them a bit of alone time. They had worked so hard all afternoon.

  She looked around her home. My goodness, two days and it was almost done. It looked so good, she smiled, as she surveyed all that had been completed. Her home. She had hoped for this someday and it was here. She imagined where she wanted to put the pictures of her daughter and her family. She cherished those. She needed to buy some things as well. Next weekend, she needed dishes, though Ana had given her some kitchen items to get by on, she needed lots more. She also wanted rugs for her room and Veronica’s and a big area rug for the living room. Placemats, cleaning supplies. There was a lot to get. She wanted some sheer curtains for the window over the sink, and some drapes for her room and her daughters.

  She sat down and perused her surroundings making a mental list. The new comfy beige sofa with the matching chair fit perfectly. She had bought a brown leather recliner that offset the beige of the sofa and would be perfect across from the television. She needed to keep the sofa covered, she noted, as Missy tended to shed quite a bit. She looked across the expanse to the kitchen area. Her round table and chairs, cherry wood, gleamed and fit perfectly in the dining area. Two bar stools, she had chosen last minute looked great at her counter.