Craving Control (Black Shamrocks MC Book 6)

by Kylie Hillman

  Hugo stays silent, probably suspecting that I’m on the verge of losing it. He’d be right. The closer we get, the more I realise what’s at stake. If I mess this up—if Lainey doesn’t come around to my side of this fight—this could all be for naught. I want to bask in her light. Instead, I could end up spending my life hiding in the shadows with a woman who doesn’t want me.

  That’s why you’re going in hard and making her see who’s boss from the get-go. The monster in my head rarely speaks now. That fateful night when we became one showed him that I was every bit as capable of raining punishment down on those who deserve it as he was. When I woke in the hospital days later, he was hibernating. Fat with her blood and content with the destruction I’d wrought.

  “Park next to that bike,” I direct Hugo into the secluded parking lot in the southern industrial area.

  He follows my directions. We get out and make quick work of stowing my bags in the leather panniers that hang over the Triumph like saddles. I tie the smallest one to the back seat and slip my backpack over my shoulders.

  Hugo pulls me in for a hug. “Everything will work out the way it should. Just have faith. You have some of the most powerful people in the country at your back. We will see you prevail because your success cements our position in this state.”

  “Thanks,” I return his embrace. “It’s good to have you back.”

  He nods, looking at our dingy surroundings. Rubbish blows past us when the wind from the nearby port kicks up. “I think it’s time for me to head back to my side of this city. Ring me if you need anything.”

  “I will.”

  Jamming the helmet over my head, I tighten it under my chin and straddle the motorcycle. A quick flick of the ignition button has the motor roaring to life. I pull out of the parking lot and begin my journey back to the safe house where Stu and his team should have Lainey safely stashed by now.

  The raid by the bomb squad on all properties owned by the Black Shamrocks MC should be well-underway and my use of a motorcycle to travel should prevent any detection by anyone keeping an eye on her house. Riding isn’t my preferred method of transport—I find it an uncultured pursuit enjoyed by philistines—however I can’t exactly drive a vehicle while wearing a helmet.

  Thanks to the media, I’m rather infamous at the moment.

  Not that it matters, I’m happy to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

  Out of sheer bloody-mindedness, I detour past the Black Shamrocks clubhouse. They’re standing out the front arguing with the Police while a robot searches the buildings.

  I spy Mik and his big blonde friend, Timber. I see Viking. I even spot Wendy Markham.

  They’re oblivious to devil riding past them, too caught up in their current drama to realise that something much bigger is on the horizon.

  As I rev the throttle to pick up speed, Beast O’Brien turns toward the source of the noise. His mouth is hard. His posture is antagonistic. Deep lines crease the skin around his eyes. Standing away from his club by himself, he looks like he’s aged ten years since I last saw him six months ago.

  That’s what comes from selling your soul to the Devil.

  Personally, I don’t know how he sleeps at night.

  It’s a convoluted web he’s woven. He’s double-dealing with his own daughter as the bait to sell out the club his family built to settle a twenty-year-old grudge.

  Even I wouldn’t stoop so low.

  When he re-focuses his attention on the Police Officer that’s approached him, I speed away. My spirits are high. My body feels on fire with anticipation. My growing jubilation threatens to bubble over before I’ve actually arrived.

  I can’t wait to hold Lainey again.

  Yet, almost edging out that keen expectation is the knowledge that Beast is about to get his comeuppance.

  You see, while I’ll have the rest of my life to spend with his daughter, I’ll only have one opportunity to look him in the face and watch him crumble under the weight of his betrayal when he learns that it was all for nothing.

  My grandfather—my mentor is all things devious—has re-sold his soul to the newest highest bidder. He’s going into business with the outlaw motorcycle club that offers him the best return for his investment.

  It’s unfortunate for Beast that this is now the Mavericks of Mayhem.

  TWENTY-NINE

  Stashing the Triumph in the garage of the almost empty house, I hurry out the back door and head to the fence. With one hand on the top of the fence, I haul myself over, landing with graceful ease in the alley way that snakes behind the row of house.

  It’s always good to have a fail-safe, and this house plus the motorbike is mine. No one knows about them, except Stu, and that’s only because it’s his job to get me back here unscathed in the unlikely event that the Black Shamrocks find the safe house.

  One can never be too careful.

  I walk three houses down then cross to the other side of the alley. This fence has a back gate—it’s located in the corner which gives us greater visibility and easier access to both the front and back if we have to flee unexpectedly—and it’s been left unlatched for me to use.

  Once I’m in the yard of the safe house, I padlock the gate and duck inside the house through the alfresco door. Lainey is so close, I can almost taste her.

  A militarily precise undertaking is what I expect to find when I enter. Instead, I walk into chaos.

  “Stop fucking touching her,” Stu orders Duke.

  I hold back and wait to see how he’s going to handle this. My requirements were clear, yet Lainey stands across the room from me struggling against Stu’s unforgiving grip on her arm. Her hair is a mess, she has a red mark on her cheek, and her shirt has been ripped open.

  Heads are going to roll.

  “Duke, fuck off over there and stay the fuck away from her. I won’t tell you again.” Stu points at the couch. Duke stares at Lainey, then he shakes himself like a wet dog and limps over to the couch.

  “Cain, take her back to the bedroom and watch her.”

  Stu shouts this in the direction of the breakfast counter where Cain sits watching the proceeding with glee in his eyes. After Stu has issued his demand, Cain salutes him and heads over to Lainey. I melt back into the darkness of the dining room, so he doesn’t see me. He drags her out of the room and I decide to stay put now she’s out of harm’s way.

  My arrival will be announced when I’m good and ready. Watching this so-called professional crew in action is illuminating. I’d hate to see how the amateurs behave. As much as I want to tell them all to leave me alone with Lainey right now, I need to give my granddad’s main man in the Mavericks two lists tomorrow.

  One is a list of who’s trustworthy; the other a docket detailing who we want executed and why.

  So far, Duke is on the second list. Time will tell who joins him.

  My right-hand man takes his eye of Duke and huddles with Si. I imagine they’re discussing how to keep Duke’s infraction from me. I move out of the shadows, ready to inform them that it’s too late, when I catch a glimpse of a struggle in the direction Lainey was taken.

  Storming past the three men, who spin around with their mouths ajar when they realise that I’m already here, I head toward the bedrooms.

  Cain has Lainey pinned against wall. Her hands are pinned above her head, her skirt wedged under her tits, and she’s fighting him with all she has. Kicking him in back of the thigh with her heel, Lainey really is a ferocious sight when she battles.

  It’s like an out of body experience for me He has her pinned in one of my favourite positions, hard against a wall so she can’t escape, and he’s pressing himself against her in the same way I do. He’s dictating her movements while he discovers what her body has to offer without actually being able to sample it.

  He hasn’t overpowered her.

  So far, she’s too strong for him.

  Angry frustration makes her face flush. Her blue eyes gleam with all the ways she’d like to hurt
the man assaulting her. I stand back and take in the beautiful sight before me.

  When she tries to scream, he slaps his hand over her mouth, and rocks against her harder. I never thought I’d find pleasure in watching another man touch what I own but seeing her struggle without being responsible for it is an erotic fantasy come to life. Albeit, one that I didn’t know I had.

  Cain presses his mouth to Lainey’s ear and torments her with his words. “Stop fighting me, bitch. I don’t give a fuck what Stu says. You’re too hot to hand over without tasting.”

  When he kisses her, he pushes his tongue into her mouth, and that’s when the spell she’s cast on me with her glorious determination snaps. The veil lifts, and my temper surges. He’s crossed the line.

  I could handle him touching her. I could enjoy him terrifying her. I will not stand by and allow him to taste her. Now she’s back under my control, that privilege is mine and mine alone.

  Lainey must feel the same way. As I charge down the hallway, she wrenches one of her hands free and tries to strike him. She hits thin air. Cain punches her in the eye, then pins her hands again.

  My girl is undeterred. She frees her hand again, taking another wild swing at his head. She misses again because I get there first and pull him away from her.

  I throw him on the floor before I drop to my knees next to him and pound away at his face until it’s a bloodied pulp. My pulse is roaring in my ears, demanding retribution, at the same as my demon sneers at me for allowing Cain to get his hands on her in the first place.

  His body slackens a second before he passes out. Keeping my back to Lainey, I drag Cain back to the living area by his shirt. I don’t want the first time she sees me in all this time to be like this. I’d imagined a much different reunion—one where I was in control and she hadn’t been degraded by one of my henchmen.

  “Get this piece of scum out of my house. The rest of you can go as well. This part of the job is done. Stu will be in touch to organise the next phase.” Anger makes my voice shake. I decide on the spot that I’m adding all their names to the second list—a fate they’ll learn when they report to the Mavericks for further instructions tomorrow night.

  “Find someone to replace him.” I point at Cain’s unconscious form. “If I see him again, I'll kill him for touching her. She's mine.”

  After dismissing them, I spy Lainey’s hand bag on the kitchen island. My earlier mistake flashes before my eyes and I upend the contents on the bench. Stu follows me, and Duke and Si follow him. They watch me sort through her things—pens, hair ties, a travel sized perfume that I slip into my pocket, and a hand gun.

  Everything but a phone.

  “Is this all she had?” I ask Stu.

  He’s about to answer when I remember that I told Si and Duke to take Cain and get the hell out of here.

  “What are you still doing here?” I bark.

  They avert their eyes and head for the door. Picking up Cain by the arms, they drag him out the front door.

  I round on Stu, and hiss at him, “Don’t think I’m going to take what your men did lying down. There will be consequences.”

  A blonde streak catches my attention. It’s headed for the front door.

  Unaware, Stu opens his mouth to speak, but I knock him out of my way.

  “What the hell?” he exclaims.

  There’s no time to explain. I see Lainey desperately trying to turn the door handle. She gets the door open half a second before I reach her and takes one step outside. I grab her waist and spin her around, roughly slinging her over my shoulder and marching her back inside.

  She struggles to catch her breath, gasping and shuddering.

  I slap her on the ass and she shrieks, then she starts kicking and punching me. My cock hardens. She’s back in my arms and as feisty as ever—my biggest turn on.

  “Now, now, Lainey. Calm down, darling girl. You don’t want to end up hurting yourself, do you?”

  Her body starts shaking and I know she’s worked out who’s holding her.

  “Put me down, Brendan. Please,” she pleads. Her voice is shaky. None of the fight she showed against Cain is present. She didn’t fear him. She’s deadly scared of me. “You’re not supposed to be anywhere near me, you know that. If you let me walk out of here now, I won’t tell the police and your parole will be safe.”

  All I can do is laugh. How naive is she? I’ve broken the law by kidnapping her, yet she thinks I’ll be worried about losing my parole.

  Silly, silly, girl.

  I lower her back to the ground slowly. Making sure she stays tight against me, I thrust against her heat when she rubs over me. The second her feet hit the ground, she tries to run away.

  My control splinters.

  Grasping her by the top of her closest arm, I drag her to the couch and force her onto my lap. The least she can do after so long apart is be cordial. Running away is not polite in the least.

  Stu engages the locks, then turns the security system on.

  “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to your reunion,” he says, chuckling as he walks past us and out of sight.

  My fingers shake when I take hold of Lainey’s chin and tilt her head until she meets my eyes. Her gaze searches my face and I wonder if she still finds me attractive. I escaped prison with only one scar—from a knife wound to my gut courtesy of Mik Kennedy. After that first attack, his minions were never able to get close to me again. My father and Hugo made sure of that.

  “Lainey, what’s today’s date?”

  Her face turns white, her eyes shine with tears, and the corners of her mouth droops, her bottom lip shaking, when it hits her. I am a free man. My parole ended this morning. There isn’t a legal requirement for me to stay away from her any longer. I see Lainey hold her weeping at bay for as long as she can, until the tears break free and spill down her cheeks.

  It breaks my heart.

  I knew our reunion would be hard, yet seeing her like this, drives home how distant we are. There is too much pain for me to atone for—I will be making it up to her until the day I die.

  “Shhhh, sweetheart. I'm not here to hurt you,” I promise, rubbing my hands up and down her arms.

  She jerks away from me. My fingers curl around her arms, digging into her flesh as I yank her back to my chest. When she doesn’t resist, I let myself take a moment to enjoy how good it feels to have her back. She feels better than I remember. I bury my nose in her hair and inhale. Even her scent is the same—vanilla and roses mixed with the seductive iniquity that comes from her very soul.

  Although the hardness in her eyes is new, the outside package hasn’t changed at all.

  I can feel it in my marrow that Maddi still lives inside her.

  It’s my mission to bring her back to life.

  “It’s so good to be able to touch you again, Lainey.” I drop my face from her hair and whisper against her cheek. “I’ve missed touching you more than you could believe. Watching you since I left that hellhole has been torture, especially knowing I had to wait until today to claim you as mine again.”

  She gasps and pulls out of my arms.

  I let her get an arm’s length away then meet her searching gaze with my own.

  “How have you been watching me?” she asks. I grit my teeth to stop from yelling at her. She’s concentrating on all the wrong things. Why doesn’t she ask me why I went to so much trouble to get her back instead of worrying about inconsequential things like me watching her? “Mik has precautions set up. You haven’t been anywhere near the city or we would’ve known.”

  The second his name falls from her lips, I let her go. She falls backward off my lap and lands on the floor. I lash out, slapping her twice. When she cowers, I seize her by her shirt and drag her toward the office.

  Maybe she’ll shut up about it if I show her how I’ve been watching her?

  The telescope dominates the room. Lainey draws in a sharp breath when she sees it, then she tries to back out of the room. I grip her shoulders and force her int
o the seat behind the telescope.

  “Have a look,” I snarl. “I have been watching you, making sure that dirty biker doesn’t touch you. I was always coming back for you. You’re mine. You always will be, as much as you try to fight it.”

  Lainey fights me when I push her face to the eyepiece. Switching my grip from her shoulders to her neck, I make her look. As she peers through the scope, memories of the last time I looked break free, and I berate her for what she’s done to me.

  “Given your slutty tendencies, I’m not surprised you ran to him the second I was gone. You will be making up for that and every other damn thing you’ve done to me very soon.”

  The threat I issue is unnecessary and contradictory to the promise I made myself that I wouldn’t treat her badly once I got her back. Mistake made, I concentrate on slowing my breathing and regaining my control, so I don’t make another one.

  I want this time to be different between us.

  Lainey pulls away from the telescope and shoots me a baleful glare.

  Shaking my head, I laugh. Not at her. At my futile efforts to keep my promise to be kind to her.

  My internal monster is right—she needs to be treated mean, so she learns her place from the start. Once I have Lainey’s submission, I can work on resurrecting Maddi.

  It seems like she agrees. Shrugging off my hands, Lainey rises to her feet and whirls around to face me. She hits me, open handed slaps to my chest that send me backward two steps.

  “What is wrong with you?” she shouts, pushing me again. “Why won't you just leave me alone? You need to go away. You’re completely crazy. I’m not yours, and I never will be. I hate you!”

  I let her get her rage out of her system. We might disagree right now about the future of our relationship; however she is right about one thing. I was wrong to treat her the way I did that night. My need to punish her got the best of me and I went too far.