Misconstrued (Mistaken)

by Pixie Unger

  “Yeah. I wasn’t exactly trying to get caught, but I was messed up enough that I was getting sloppy.” I realized the orcs were all just watching me.

  Romeo had gone very still.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  He shook his head.

  Erike turned to Lucky and demanded, “Tell me!”

  He ducked his head, looking embarrassed. “Took mothers to safer place. Good for sons. We learned about you from watching them. You do not make sense.”

  “Well, no,” she conceded. “I’m an enigmatic delight.”

  He nodded hesitantly, clearing not understanding what she had just said.

  “I think he means humans, not just you, Erika.”

  She just shrugged. “That doesn’t make what I said untrue.”

  “Fair enough. How did you get caught?” I wondered.

  She just shrugged. “I lived in an apartment downtown. We didn’t have a grocery store, nevermind anywhere to grow your own. The orcs set up a ration station. I was getting food there one day when a riot broke out. The orcs looked safer than the humans at that point. I was one of the first ones here.”

  “What was that like?” I asked.

  “Weird. It was mostly fine when there were just a few of us. Then it got really bad for a while when the place first filled up. It’s been better lately. I’m really annoyed that in all that time, no one told us about the showers!”

  I snorted. “Yeah.” Then it hit me. “Baths! Oh god, I miss baths!”

  “With bubbles and a beer!” Erika agreed.

  We both sighed.

  The orcs were just watching us with various thoughtful expressions.

  “Did you really name them Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?”

  “Yup. They like the names. Extra long counts for bonus points, apparently.”

  I giggled. “That’s what she said!” Erika rolled her eyes at me, so I added, “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

  Erika smirked, which made me laugh. That set her off. Then we realized the orcs just looked stunned, and that just made it worse.

  I looked at Romeo. “Can we go for a walk or something?”

  He frowned, but hesitantly nodded.

  I returned his frown and asked, “Do you want to say no but are worried I’ll be upset?”

  I could hear Erica start to object, but I waved her to a stop. He nodded, very slightly.

  “Okay. If you want to say no, that probably means you have information that I don’t.” I wasn’t really talking to him so much as trying to puzzle it out to myself. “Can you tell me what I don’t know?”

  From behind me, Tybalt blurted out, “Iago home soon.”

  I nodded. “Will he come here first, or will he go report to your boss?”

  “He will talk to you first,” Romeo rumbled.

  ----

  It turned out that Iago talking to me had to wait for Mac to glue his sliced open forearm shut. Erika looked pretty green, so she took her boys and went home. I was torn between wanting to watch and really not wanting to see.

  “Was it my people who did that, or yours?” I hated to ask, but I needed to know.

  He shook his head, but couldn’t look at me. “Not people, animals.”

  I didn’t call him out, but it looked too clean of a cut to be a dog bite, and too deep to be a cat scratch. It looked like a knife wound. “I don’t want to set the precedent that if you get injured you get to sleep in my bed.”

  He still didn’t look at me, but he nodded his understanding.

  “Can you tell me what you found besides animals?” That made him look sharply at me. “Is the building still standing? Has it been firebombed? How much damage did it take?”

  “Not much damage. Defensible. Food trees are making food.” He hesitated before adding, “Door was still locked. Part of the wall around the … garden is broken down. Signs of people trying to get into the building. No signs they did. Left a team rebuilding the wall and getting rid of the little—” He made a scurrying gesture with his fingers. “—creatures with long tails.”

  I shuddered at that. “Ew. Mice.”

  He just shrugged. “And bugs.”

  That didn’t make me feel any better.

  “Saw your picture on the wall,” he added.

  I tensed. “Did you,” I snapped. A human would have gotten the hint to let it go.

  Iago once again proved he was not human. He nodded. “Long hair, happy face, pretty.”

  I remembered that picture. It was taken at the hall’s anniversary party. I had bought a blue and white sundress especially for the picnic that afternoon. It felt like it had been a very long time since I had either a happy face or long hair.

  I waited for him to comment on what else he saw, but he completely failed to mention the bedroom set up in the ballroom. Or the card table and chair to eat at. The metal shutters kept out most of the light, but I could find my way around that room blind.

  We’d had a cat to keep down the mice, but I didn’t know what had happened to her. Had Pandora been the one to scratch Iago? No! No, that definitely wasn’t a cat scratch. Cat scratches didn’t need stitches, did they? I just hoped it wasn’t anyone I knew. I debated asking if he had killed anyone, then I wondered if I wanted to know. If he said yes, it still wouldn’t tell me if it was anyone I knew.

  “I can’t deal with this right now. I’m too grumpy. I’m going to bed.” And with that I stood up and went to my room, waving Tybalt away when he tried to follow. I was prepared to chicken out and let Mac explain my moodiness as PMS. She hadn’t even been my cat. She was just a random, huge cat that had turned up and, for a few months, had been a living thing I could care for. A tiny spark of normality in a completely fucked-up world.

  ----

  It was pouring rain when I got up the next morning. I headed into the kitchen and was heating some water to drink when the door opened.

  “Take your shoes off!” I ordered without even turning to look. “I don’t want mud tracked in through the house.”

  The only response I got was a ringing silence. I poured my cup of water and turned to see Romeo and Iago staring at me. Oh.

  “Can you walk without your shoes?” I asked, preparing to take it back. “No, that’s stupid, of course you can. I saw you walking without shoes at the medic’s.” I crossed the room, setting my cup down on the table on my way past. “Let me help,” I announced as I went to take the box he was holding. He instinctively pulled it away from me, then flinched. I tried to pretend I hadn’t noticed and I took Romeo’s instead. I placed it on the table and brought over a chair. Romeo sat and began unlacing his boots.

  Iago was still standing there holding the box he was carrying protectively in front of him while staring at me in horror.

  “Let me,” I said firmly, holding out my hands for it. He slowly handed me the other box of breakfast. I took it to the table and bustled about setting everything out. “Mac! Tybalt! Breakfast!”

  Romeo came over to help.

  Iago was still just staring at me.

  “Take off your boots and come for breakfast!” I tried to say it gently while still leaving no room for argument.

  I watched the table as I got things ready. Everyone else was watching Iago. I elbowed Tybalt, “Get the cups, please. I already have one, so you only need to grab four.” I sat down.

  The three of them sat down and looked at me. I sipped my hot water. Romeo pointedly made eye contact, then looked at the covered containers of mystery breakfast.

  “We can wait,” I answered the unspoken question. “Iago will be here in a moment.”

  The silence had stopped ringing and moved on to screaming. The only sound was the rain on the roof and windows. It went on for a long time. I started to worry he was just going to leave.

  Then he sat. He took off his boots. None of them wore socks, and Iago wasn’t any different.

  The foot had been made to move like a normal foot, even if their toes were a little longer than you would find on a s
tandard issue human. It didn’t have fake skin or any protective covering, though. It was all exposed motors and articulations. It moved like a fluid piece of art and engineering as he walked to the table and sat across from me.

  I nodded, trying to project a calm confidence that I didn’t feel. Then I opened the first container.

  “Holy shit! Where did you get cinnamon buns?” I shrieked in delight.

  “Not simmamomm—” Romeo rumbled, stumbling over the new word. “Honey. One of the mothers taught us to make.”

  “You made these?” I asked in shock.

  He blushed a darker grey and shook his head. “Cooks make. Human mother of orc son taught them. Want me to learn?”

  “I want to learn!” I countered. Then I hesitated. “Maybe I should try them first.”

  Romeo nodded. Iago hesitantly passed me a smaller box. “This is for on top,” he suggested.

  I carefully opened that too. “No way! You got butter!”

  He was watching me wide-eyed, like a kid who isn’t sure if they are in trouble or not, but he gave me a careful nod.

  “Thank you!” I gushed.

  “Not him,” Tybalt grumbled. “He just brought.”

  “He went out in the cold and rain and brought back food so that we could stay warm and dry,” I chided. “That is worth a thank you.”

  I wasn’t expecting Tybalt and Mac to chorus “Thank you” like a class of kindergarteners, but I smiled when they did.

  It was a weird, almost human breakfast. Besides the honey buns, there were pork patties that had been seasoned to an approximate of breakfast sausages, along with fresh raspberries and cream so thick you needed to scoop it out with a spoon. It was the best breakfast I’d had in a long time.

  “Erika is bleeding too,” Mac pointed out, making me choke on my bun. “Said you do that together. She wanted sausage, so we get better breakfast, too.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed weakly. “Just … um… not a good breakfast discussion topic,”

  “Why?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

  I glared at my plate and tried to think about how to answer that one.

  Iago growled. The orcs relaxed. Mac looked thoughtful.

  “It’s taboo?” the medic translated.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “I think I could explain better if I was more awake and less hungry.”

  “Is muddy shoes the same?” Mac asked. “You don’t have to clean the floors. That’s our job.”

  My mind raced. “Shoes in the house is a complicated issue,” I admitted. “It depends on a lot of things. Location and culture are big factors.” I thought some more. “Growing up, we just always ran around the house in bare feet, except for my mom, who wore slippers.”

  “Naked feet?” Tybalt hesitantly suggested.

  I smirked. “Yeah, I guess you could call it that.”

  “Don’t you get cold?” Romeo asked.

  I shrugged. “Only if the house is cold.”

  Tybalt tried to be subtle as he leaned back in his chair and tried to peek at my feet. It didn’t really work.

  ----

  It was a weird day. It was so wet and gloomy outside and there wasn’t a lot to do inside. I sat curled up on the couch watching the rain for a while. Tybalt kept gazing speculatively at my feet. I finally just laughed and patted the couch beside me.

  He just looked confused.

  “Come have a seat and tell me what you are thinking about? You’ve never stared at my feet like that before. Did you discover a new kink or something?”

  He gave me a puzzled smile, but joined me on the couch anyway. “Too many words,” he mumbled.

  I tried again. “Why are you staring at my feet now when you didn’t do that before?”

  He looked down and fidgeted. “Didn’t think of naked feet before.”

  That made me snort in laughter. He startled at the noise and stared at me, before smiling shyly at me. “I’m bored—” I interrupted myself before I had to translate that one too, “—I mean, I need something to do. You guys play a game with those little,” I paused to gesture, “hexagon things. Can you teach me?”

  He looked at me in horror and shook his head, no.

  I smirked, tempted to ask if it was strip poker, then realized I didn’t want to know the answer. I tried to think of human games we could play, but I didn’t have a deck of cards. “Do you still have a comb in your pocket?”

  He solemnly pulled it out and handed it to me.

  “Can I braid your hair?” I asked.

  He gave me a puzzled look, but nodded. That’s how I ended up with an orc sitting on the floor in front of me, waiting patiently for me to do a five-strand braid in his top knot. Iago stopped to do a double-take on his way down the hallway. He watched for a moment, then ran his hand over his own hair that was too short to do much besides brush. I didn’t stare at him, but instead concentrated on finishing Tybalt’s hair. I ended with using the piece of string that had been holding his bun to tie off the braid.

  Then I patted his shoulder. “There you go. Could you heat up some more water? It’s not exactly warm around here.”

  “Need shoes?” he asked as he heaved himself to his feet.

  I shook my head, “No. You can if you want, though.” Then I looked over at Iago, who was still staring. “If your boots are dry, you can put them back on if you would rather.”

  I was a bit surprised when he didn’t move.

  “Do you want him to put them back on?” Tybalt asked.

  “It’s got to be his choice, Tybalt,” I pointed out.

  They both shook their heads in disagreement.

  I crossed my arms and frowned. “You get bodily autonomy!” I insisted. Neither of them showed any sign of understanding. “You get to say what happens to you as long as it is hurting anyone.” I thought for a moment. “Romeo!” I called.

  He joined us in an instant.

  “You were protesting for equal rights. Can you explain that I don’t get to say if Iago wears his boots in the house or not?” I asked.

  “No!” Mac called from the kitchen. “If you have no shoes, then we have no shoes. You have cute toes. Each to crush under boots.”

  Iago blushed darker grey again and turned to go. Romeo stepped in front of him and growled. Iago chest-bumped him and snarled right back. I tried to remain calm. It was just how they talked, I told myself.

  When it didn’t stop in a moment, I interrupted. “That’s enough! We need books or a movie or a game or something to do! Cabin fever isn’t good for any of us.”

  Iago pushed past Romeo and headed to the door, stomping on his boots and heading out into the rain a moment later. I sagged.

  Tybalt pushed Romeo in my direction. “His hair, too?” he suggested.

  Romeo looked confused for a moment. Tybalt flipped his braid at the guy, making me chuckle.

  “Sure, if you don’t mind?” I asked Romeo.

  He nodded and sat down in front of me. He got a french braid that ran over his skull and hung part of the way down his back by the time I was done.

  “Is Iago coming back?” I murmured.

  Romeo nodded, making me curse as I tried to keep hold of his hair. “He’s getting things for you to do.”

  “That’s nice of him.” I thought for a moment then added, “How do I get him to be part of the family?”

  Romeo shrugged. “You don’t touch him. All of us, you touch sometimes. Not him.”

  I frowned. I was sure I did. Just little social touches, the same as any of them, but at that moment, I couldn’t think of an example. For a long time, he had been the scariest. The killer in the group. Until I found out Romeo had been involved in bombings. I didn’t really think about how many people he had killed. Or how many might have died at Mac’s hands either on purpose or by accident as a doctor. And Tybalt had to be lying to me. It didn’t seem possible that you could stowaway on a spaceship.

  Iago had been the one to talk me through all the stress and horror of ending up as a glorified
pet, and I resented him for it.

  Objectively, that was unfair. I just hadn’t thought about it objectively before.

  Romeo absolutely did not help when he added, “Unworthy.”

  “Not unworthy,” I corrected, under my breath. Tybalt handed me a mug of hot water. Damn, I missed coffee. “Can I go get him?” I asked.

  “I go,” Tybalt offered. “You stay warm.”

  I shook my head, “That doesn’t seem right. I’m the one that made him leave.”

  “He made himself leave,” Tybalt corrected.

  I nodded. “Yeah, now I should go get him back.”

  The remaining three just laughed. “He will come back,” Mac assured me. “He just needs to go be … grumpy for a while.”

  ----

  I wasn’t waiting for him to come home. Except that I kind of was. It was entirely too blustery of a rainstorm to be out walking around. I was sitting on the couch, cupping a mug of hot water, watching the rain beat against the window. Mac was sitting on the chair watching me.

  “I’m not an idiot,” Somehow it felt important to open with that. “I remember when all the technophobes burned the cell phone towers.”

  Mac snorted. “They thought that was what brought us.”

  I nodded and tightened my grip on my mug. “I get that the infrastructure is gone, but you are technologically advanced to the point of interstellar space travel. How do you not have some sort of cell phone equivalent?”

  He shrugged. “Orcs do. The important ones do.”

  “But you aren’t important enough to get one?”

  Mac nodded while eying up the window. “Tybalt will go get him for you.”

  I snorted. “But you aren’t stupid enough to go out in the storm when you can delegate that?”

  He flashed me a tight smile. “I’m starting to understand you. You want us to be safe. All of us. No favourites. You don’t want to risk Tybalt to get Iago because you value them both.”

  It started to hail. I winced. “He’ll be inside somewhere, right? He’s not out in that, is he?”

  Mac looked me dead in the eye and shrugged.

  “Ugh! You’re no help!” I grumbled.

  “He come back at lunch.” Mac stopped to correct himself, “Iago will come back at lunch. I think. Soon.”

  I had to ask, “Do you think I should have let him keep his boots on?”