Misconstrued (Mistaken)

by Pixie Unger

  Mac looked up at the ceiling as he considered this. “No,” he finally decided. “You did not shame him. You do not care about his foot. He cares about you seeing his foot. He needs to stop that.”

  “It’s kind of cool,” I admitted. “I want to see it in action more, but I know he doesn’t want me to stare at it.”

  Mac was back to watching me impassively.

  “What?” I demanded.

  He just shrugged.

  “Never a throw pillow around when you need one,” I muttered.

  “What?”

  “People used to have small pillows on their couches,” I explained. “They were called throw pillows, which is weird because we didn’t really throw them. But just now I’m tempted to throw one at you and see if I can get you to tell me what is going on.”

  “You want to attack me with pillows?” he demanded, sounding shocked, but there was a twinkle in his eye.

  I just snorted.

  “Iago will be back with lunch,” Mac assured me. Then he added, “I think.”

  ----

  There was a whole lot of nothing to do, but there was also plenty of time to do it in.

  Hurry up and wait.

  The guys were restless too, but Tybalt and Romeo were in their rooms and Mac was just serenely watching me. I was looking out the window and ignoring the staring. I had no idea what to try to talk to him about.

  Then I did.

  “You told me once that there was reversible male birth control. How does that work?”

  Mac blinked in surprise.

  “Or was that not true?” I muttered, turning back out at the window and picking the lint off of the blanket in my lap.

  Mac coughed. “Is true. Implant under the skin at the base of the penis. Females wanted something they could check for. No cheating allowed. No unwanted pregnancy.”

  That pissed me off. “There certainly are unwanted pregnancies! There were half-orc babies in the camp that went missing. Hell, there are accidental pregnancies between the humans in camp!”

  Mac stopped looking at me then. “Bad orcs, now dead. Humans don’t ask for birth control.”

  I was rapidly getting annoyed, but I tried to tell myself it wasn’t his fault. “Mac, I couldn’t get a hypoallergenic dinner. There is no way the warden was going to give us birth control. I have no idea what is going to happen to Miriam when she goes into labour.”

  Mac frowned. “Human doctors sent to help.”

  “I hope so,” I muttered, turning back to the window.

  I jumped when the front door opened. There was the sound of someone taking off his boots.

  “Iago?”

  “I brought lunch, and books, and cards.” he called. “Game cards,” he added, sounding hesitantly proud.

  I climbed off the couch, trying to avoid tripping on the blanket I had somehow ended up tangled in and hurried over to the entryway. Iago was holding a box that I took from him and brought over to the table. I shouted for the others and started unpacking lunch.

  Iago’s card game was a deck of tarot and I wondered how I was going to explain that to literal space aliens. Behind me, Tybalt gasped and Romeo started to cough. I turned to look at them and Iago had sagged. He was still trying to look calm and confident, but he wasn’t good at faking it anymore.

  “Romeo, get the silverware,” I directed as though nothing had happened. Then I tried to sneak a peek at Iago’s foot as I turned back to the table.

  He was wearing a pair of sports socks. It was weird and sad. I resolutely ignored it. I wasn’t going to call him on his footwear in front of the others.

  “Home in time. She wanted Tybalt to go in the rain to find you,” Mac commented.

  Tybalt pushed him in a not entirely playful way.

  I ignored that and focused instead on, “It’s raining so hard, you look like you’ve been standing in the shower. Romeo? Can you finish setting the table? I’m going to go help Iago get changed.”

  “Changed into what?” he asked warily.

  I rolled my eyes. “Dry clothes.”

  “He doesn’t need help,” Tybalt grumbled.

  I ignored that and held out my hand to Iago. He looked at that suspiciously, too.

  “Can I hold your hand?” I hinted.

  He glared at me for a moment and I fought not to flinch. Then, very slowly, he reached out and took hold of my fingers like a bad handshake. Still, I thought, good enough. I gave him a gentle tug and led him to the room he shared with Romeo.

  He flinched when I closed the door.

  “Do you have towels in here somewhere?” I asked.

  He pulled one out from under the bed. He was alternately staring at me and trying to avoid eye contact.

  “You ended up out in the rain for me twice today,” I pointed out. “Thank you.”

  He just shrugged.

  “Iago?”

  “Wilhemina,” he replied flatly.

  “Can I—” I stopped. I was pretty sure that help wasn’t the politically correct word to use here. “Can I undress you?”

  “Why?” he mumbled.

  I blushed and looked at the door. “Because I wanted to touch you. Which is rude and demanding and you probably don’t even want me in—”

  He didn’t touch me, no, that would be too straightforward for these weirdos. He held up his hand as though he were cupping my cheek, but left a good half inch between his skin and mine. Enough that he very definitely wasn’t touching me, but was still close enough for me to feel the heat radiating from his body. I caught his wrist and tilted my head to press my cheek against his palm.

  He was still watching me as though he thought this was a trap, but now I could see that he was hoping it wasn’t.

  “Will you let me?” I asked.

  He swallowed and nodded. I stepped up close and started to unfasten his coveralls. He was trembling slightly and I didn’t want to guess if it was the nerves or the cold.

  “Iago? You don’t have to let me do this, if you’re uncomfortable. You can tell me to stop, if you want. I won’t be mad.”

  We just stood there for a moment to the sound of him dripping gently on the floor. Finally, he nodded and said, “I will tell you.”

  It really was me undressing him. He was very still and just let me do all the work, as though I was undressing a life-sized doll. His head was bowed slightly and he was watching me intently. The jumpsuit was all one piece, so when I got to his hips, it slid the rest of the way down his body and fell to the floor with a crash. I winced, then looked up at him. He was wearing a slight frown.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I guess you had more weight in your pockets than I was expecting.” That, at least, got a half-hearted smile as I started to pull at his undershirt. It was sticking to him like paint. As I started to pull it up, an extra shiver went through him. “Can you help me with this?” I asked.

  He pulled it off and dropped it in a soggy pile on the floor. I wrapped the towel around his shoulders.

  “Why?” he whispered. Then before I could he reply, he added, “Why did you want to touch me?”

  “Because I don’t,” I mumbled. “You don’t get too close to me, and I don’t think to pull you in.” He didn’t say anything, just stood still watching me. “I’m not trying to exclude you. It’s just that your body language has been telling me you need your space, and I don’t want to crowd you.”

  “Someone told you to touch me,” he grumbled.

  I shook my head. “Don’t be an idiot! Can you really see ANY of them saying that?”

  He looked up at the ceiling and considered it. “Tybalt fed you first. You wouldn’t send him out into the rain to find me.”

  “I was going to go get you!”

  He laughed and adjusted the towel to around his waist. “At least they stopped you. Cold and wet humans become sick humans.”

  “What about cold, wet orcs?” I countered.

  He shrugged.

  I gritted my teeth. “I’m trying to keep an open mind that non
e of you are actually trying to hurt me,” I blurted out, not managing to be subtle at all.

  Iago stiffened. “We are not.”

  “Can you … just … try to remember that I’m not trying to hurt you, either?”

  That made him spin and stare at me in shock.

  “I’m not,” I assured him. “Romeo thought he was disposable. He isn’t. Neither are you. So just,” I trailed off, not even sure what I was trying to say. “Don’t go doing anything stupid. You’re mine now, right?”

  He narrowed his eyes at me when he nodded.

  “Okay. I need you to help me take care of my guys. All of them. Including you. Got it?”

  Iago chuckled, but nodded again. “Dry clothes yet?”

  I ran my hand down his chest, his muscles jumped under my touch, but he didn’t move away. Most of them looked like gym rats. Iago looked like someone who built his muscles from work rather than as a hobby.

  “That thing you said about hunting for others so they could get the girl, instead of trying to impress her yourself? When did you decide to not try on your own?”

  He considered that. “Always. I’m small.”

  “You’re at least a foot taller than me.”

  He frowned. “Foot?”

  “People are stupid, a foot is about the distance from my wrist to my elbow,” I explained.

  He considered my arm.

  “Smaller than other orcs,” he countered.

  “Me, too,” I countered. “You aren’t too small for me.” That got me a sad smile. “Okay, let’s get you into dry clothes and go eat some lunch.

  He nodded and turned his back on me. His shorts hit the floor revealing a very nice, if grey, ass. As he was pulling on his new ones, I realized he was still wearing the socks. I debated calling him on that, then chickened out. Maybe that was enough soul-baring for one day.

  ----

  It turns out that you can make a deck of tarot cards into a deck of playing cards by removing some. After lunch, I took over the table to do that.

  It was complicated because I didn’t want to teach them poker, but my repertoire of non-gambling games was somewhat limited. I didn’t really play cards other than on casino nights at work. But Iago had gotten them for me, so I should try to figure something out.

  I wondered if we could play without anyone cheating or stealing cards, or just having this go badly.

  “Why not these ones?” Tybalt asked, looking at my discard pile.

  “They just aren’t needed for this game,” I answered as I carefully laid out the cards, checking for missing ones.

  “Hmmm,” he mused. “Lots of knives.”

  I shrugged. “I think they’re spades on a regular, not-as-pretty deck.”

  Tybalt just frowned harder. “Not many colours.”

  I stopped to look at him. “Are you worried?”

  “No,” he sulked.

  I stared at him for a moment. “Are you sad because Iago doesn’t have naked feet anymore?” I teased.

  He shook his head. “Yours nicer than his.”

  Were they? My feet were alien to them, but Iago’s foot was really interesting. When he didn’t have it covered, I could see the mechanics of how the part worked together to make it move. It was really interesting and I wanted to know how it worked. That wasn’t maybe the most tactical response, though, and it didn’t say anything about why Tybalt was sulking. Was he jealous that I liked Iago’s gift? “Is it hard to share?”

  His face darkened and he nodded.

  I paused to consider how to even begin to address that. “You know that sooner or later, I’m going to have to pick one of you.”

  Tybalt just shrugged. “Could pick all.”

  “Human’s don’t really do that,” I said, gently.

  He frowned at me then. “Yes. Man in camp pick six womens.”

  “Yeah … That isn’t normal,” I tried.

  “Could be,” he repeated. “Erika picked three.”

  I wanted to point out that she was only having sex with Lucky, but it occured to me that I hadn’t seen her in a couple of days, and that might have changed. I wanted to go ask her, but one look out the window dissuaded me.

  “I thought you didn’t like to share,” I protested.

  “Better sharing than none,” he countered.

  “I don’t know if you noticed but there are more women than men in the camps. If I don’t pick you, you can always find someone else.”

  He firmly shook his head at that one. “No. Want you.”

  “Why?” I demanded. “I’m nothing special.”

  “Yes,” he disagreed, falling into a bit of a sulk.

  I didn’t know what to say to that, so I went back to counting out the cards. I wondered if the other three could hear the conversation from where they were sitting in the living room.

  I got to the end and left the cards in two piles as I thought about what to do next. The light coming in through the windows wasn’t exactly bright and cheerful. I didn’t know If I wanted to try to teach the rules for a card game just now.

  “Do orcs have ghost stories?” I asked.

  Tybalt gave me a puzzled look.

  “It just seems like good ghost story weather,” I mumbled.

  “Good weather for snuggles?” he suggested.

  I laughed. “I’ll tell you what. If you want to tell me stories we can snuggle on the couch.”

  Tybalt jumped up and headed to the living room. Romeo and Mac both appeared as if by magic from their rooms. Tybalt and I sat on the couch and they knelt at my feet before I banished them to the chairs.

  It turned out that ghost stories weren’t a concept they understood. They told me stories of their childhoods, which were worse. It all sounded like child abuse to me. None of them saw it that way.

  Finally, Tybalt, who had been smirking the whole time, announced, “I have TWO sisters!” like he was laying down an ace.

  Romeo and Mac groaned. They all looked at me expectantly.

  “Um … good?” I hazarded “Were you nice to them?”

  It was the wrong question. It didn’t even seem to translate.

  “Didn’t get to see them,” he mumbled.

  “Why not?” I asked.

  Once again, there was no sign of understanding.

  Mac, who had been frowning, now growled, “Half-sisters.”

  “Maybe not!” Tybalt snapped.

  “I feel like I’ve entered the twilight zone.” Once again they were looking at me with a polite lack of understanding. “How can you not know if they’re your half-sisters or not?”

  “Father is who mother says,” Mac explained. “I bet she said not his father.”

  “But,” I tried to phrase my question with care, “you can check for that, right?” There was much shaking of heads. “You have interstellar space travel but not paternity testing?”

  “Not in generations,” Romeo answered. “Mothers didn’t like it. No one wants to upset them.”

  “But then how do you avoid inbreeding?” I asked.

  “Sisters live separate.” Romeo said, like it was the most obvious thing.

  “Wow. Okay. Well, you do know how to tell a scary story, I’ll give you that.” I looked out at the window where there was no sign of a break in the weather. “Now, the important question is— Who is going to go out in the storm with me to find dinner?”

  “Iago go,” Tybalt immediately volunteered.

  “No, Iago has already gone twice. It’s someone else's turn.”

  “I went,” Romeo reminded me.

  “I’ll go,” I assured him. “I was just wondering if anyone would come with me.”

  Mac shook his head. “You go out in storm, we get in trouble. I go.”

  Tybalt was clearly torn on that. “I get breakfast?” he suggested.

  Mac just shrugged and headed towards the door.

  “Thank you!” I called.

  Tybalt frowned, then hurried out the door, to Romeo’s amusement.

  “Spoiled
!” he laughed. “Probably does have sisters.”

  “How did you end up buying me with him if you think he’s spoiled?” I mused.

  Romeo really looked at me then. “You scared— you were scared,” he corrected himself, “and hungry, I could help.”

  I frowned at him, suspecting that Romeo knew more about me than I knew about him.

  “Romeo?” I whispered. “Are there any places left in the world where humans just get to live their lives and the orcs don’t interfere?”

  He considered this. “There is some, far away. Soon will be more. Places where orcs and humans live together. Better than here.”

  “What happens if you find some humans living on their own?” I pressed.

  Iago came out of their room and looked at me. “If they aren’t hurting each other and they don’t need help, we don’t bother them.”

  “I wasn’t hurting anyone and I didn’t need help when you found me, and I was brought here anyway.”

  “One person alone is not enough,” he explained. “Need to have enough people to protect each other.” He stopped and thought for a moment, then added, “Commune, but with no hurting the kids.”

  “Communes aren’t for hurting kids!” I protested.

  He just shrugged. I watched him stare at me for a while before he added, “I don’t have any sisters.”

  “So?” I asked. “Neither do I. It was just me and three brothers.”

  “What happened to them?” Romeo asked.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “They had moved away when you got here, and I wasn’t able to get in touch with them once you were. And you’ve told me there is a fifty-fifty chance that they didn’t make it.”

  Romeo opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and walked away. Iago was just watching me like a hawk, waiting to see what I would do next. In that moment, I could understand what Iago must have felt like when we were talking. Sometimes, I could see him force himself to let go of something in order to stay in the room with me. Now it was my turn.

  None of these particular orcs were personally responsible for whatever had happened to my family. I had to keep that in mind, but it wasn’t easy. The alternative of being angry at them all the time hadn’t worked for me either, though. I needed to find a way to live in the world I had rather than the world as I wanted it to be.