Hold on Tight

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “I don’t want to sound like a bitch, but I don’t think we have anything more to say.”

  “I’m sorry, but I think you’re wrong.” She pointed to a small park down the street, maybe a block away. “There’s some park benches over there. We could talk. Please?”

  “Did Jackson send you out here?”

  “No. He knows I came out, but this wasn’t his idea.”

  “You came out here on your own?”

  “Yes. The guys convinced him to give me a chance.” Her blue eyes widened. “Don’t make me go back in there and tell them I failed.”

  At that moment, Dani didn’t really care what Meredith and the guys were going to say to each other. But she wasn’t in any hurry to go back in and pull out Jeremy.

  “I’ll go, but I feel like you all are playing a game or something,” she admitted.

  “I’m not playing a game, Dani. I thought we were just getting together as friends as well. I had no idea that the guys had talked about holding a poker tournament.”

  “I’m sorry.” The hurt on Meredith’s face was clear. Maybe she couldn’t fix what had happened between her and Jackson, but she could certainly fix what she’d just done to Meredith. “I think walking over to the bench and talking is a good idea. Obviously, I need to calm down.”

  “Let’s walk, then.”

  As Dani walked beside Meredith, she became even more aware of how fit the woman was. She vaguely recalled Jackson once telling her that Ace’s girlfriend owned the Shine Pilates studio. Obviously, she was a walking endorsement for the benefits of the program.

  “I just remembered Jackson telling me about your studio. You teach Pilates?”

  She smiled. “I do. I started my studio about a year ago. At first, I taught all the classes, now I even have two ladies who teach four or five classes a week. It’s a lot of fun.”

  “That’s wonderful.”

  “You know what? It really is. I love having an occupation that feeds my soul and my pocketbook.”

  “That’s a blessing.”

  They sat down on the bench. “It really is. Ace and I talk about that all the time. He loves being a mechanic and now he manages a whole shop and spends his day repairing fancy cars. There’s something for everyone, you know?”

  “I guess there is.”

  “Jackson told me you are taking classes online?”

  Dani scanned her face. She looked completely sincere. “I’m taking classes so I can open up my own daycare and preschool.”

  “Really? How far along are you?”

  “Only four classes in, but that’s four classes more than when I first started.”

  “Do you want to work for someone or a company or have your own place?”

  “My own. I want to do things my way, you know?”

  “I completely understand. That’s why I have my own studio instead of managing a franchise or something.”

  Meredith was acting like they had a lot in common. Normally, Dani would have been so pleased to meet her and would have even asked her for some advice about one day starting her own business. But they weren’t sitting there because she was a future entrepreneur.

  “Listen, I appreciate you being so friendly, but I really don’t think this is the right time to chat.” She took a deep breath. “I need—”

  “Jackson has been worried about you,” she interrupted.

  “What?”

  “He came over to see Ace, Troy, and Kurt a couple of nights ago. You and Jeremy were all he talked about.” Her eyes widened. “Dani, this wasn’t about him feeling sorry for you or Jeremy or wanting to make you into a charity case. It was about him wanting to help you. Do you see the difference?”

  “He never talked to me about this first.”

  “I’ll tell you what happened. He came over and told the guys about how good a ball player Jeremy was. And about how you’ve been running yourself ragged trying to get him everywhere. That’s when the guys started volunteering to help drive.”

  “They said they’d help drive Jeremy to his practices?”

  Meredith’s expression softened, like she was so glad that Dani was finally listening. “Yes. I think they would have started a schedule right then and there if Jackson had had your son’s practice schedule in front of him.”

  “That’s really nice of them.” She leaned back against the bench’s seat. “I’m kind of stunned. I mean, who would have thought?”

  Meredith chuckled. “You don’t get it, do you? These guys are special. They care about each other and they care about people who mean something to them.” She looked off into the distance. “I can promise you that if something happened with me or with my Pilates studio, Ace would have those guys over there in a heartbeat. And they’d go, too.”

  Turning slightly so she was facing Dani, Meredith said, “What I’m trying to say to you is that you are definitely reading something into Jackson’s offer, but it’s absolutely the wrong thing. No one feels sorry for you, Dani. What everyone feels is Jackson’s feelings for you.”

  “We aren’t actually a couple.”

  “Says who?”

  “Um, says me. Says Jackson.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not what he says.”

  “Meredith, we haven’t even gone on a date.” Though, they had certainly spent time together.

  “Do you only get close to people on dates?”

  “Of course not. But—”

  “I thought you looked after little Kate, too.”

  “I do.” She nodded. Maybe she had read too much into the guys’ offer. Oh, it still made her uncomfortable—she didn’t want Jeremy all the sudden known as the poor kid on the team.

  But maybe she shouldn’t have charged out of the room in an embarrassed snit. Maybe she should have thought about listening to Jackson instead of immediately thinking of the worst.

  Finally answering Meredith’s question, she said, “I’ve spent a lot of time with Kate. And even though he does pay me, maybe Jackson was trying to repay the favor.”

  Meredith sighed in relief. “I know he was.” Reaching out to her, she pressed one slim hand on top of hers. “I know you don’t know Ace, but believe me when I tell you that he’s a stand-up guy. One of the best people I’ve ever met. There’s no way he’d go out of his way to embarrass you. Neither would Kurt or Troy.”

  “I just thought that since Kurt lives in this nice house, maybe he wouldn’t understand ...” Realizing how foolish she sounded, she shook her head instead of finishing her thought. “Never mind.”

  “None of these guys are from rich families, Dani. All of their dads were coal miners. There isn’t a person in that house who is going to look down on you for worrying about paying bills or affording extras.”

  Boy, she’d really jumped the gun. Feeling even more embarrassed, she said, “I don’t know what to do now. Do I go back inside?”

  “I hope you will.”

  Before she lost her nerve, she stood up. “I’ll apologize first thing. I’m ashamed that I got so worked up so quickly. I should have known better.”

  Standing up, too, Meredith rested a palm on her shoulder. “I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself. The guys aren’t the best with words. Come on, let’s go in and get it over with.”

  “Thanks for coming out here. You didn’t have to.”

  Meredith shook her head. “No, I think I did. Ace has been pretty worried about Jackson. He told me the other night that he was really glad that the two of you have become close.”

  “He said that?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Smiling softly, Meredith added, “He said you make Jackson happy. Happier than he’s been in years.”

  “Jackson has made me happy, too.” She realized that she was also happier now than she’d been in years.

  “I’m so glad you said that. So, let’s go fix this.
If something happens to the two of you because of this, it’s going to be terrible for everyone.”

  Walking by Meredith’s side, Dani was stunned at how sincere the other woman was.

  It seemed that she was already part of this group of close friends. To her surprise, she was so glad to be there, she didn’t want to leave.

  CHAPTER 21

  From Les Larke’s

  You, Too, Can Host

  a Poker Tourney:

  It’s also a good idea to have an extra deck of cards on hand. Cards can get stained, damp, or even bent from time to time. You might even want to give participants the job of shuffling the new decks.

  Dani knew she had a lot of faults—for example, she was a little too sensitive about her current financial situation. But she’d never been afraid to apologize.

  The moment she walked back into the kitchen, where Jackson was nursing a beer, Ace and the other guys were looking glum, and Emily and Campbell were playing with Kate, Dani started talking.

  “Everyone, I’m really sorry. Ever since Brian died I’ve been struggling financially. It wasn’t easy dealing with all his bills or having to admit to other people that we really were struggling.” She looked down at her feet and then forced herself to continue. “Because of all that, I’m afraid I get sensitive whenever I can’t afford things for Jeremy.” She heard her voice tremble. Realized everyone in the room heard it, too.

  Kurt cleared his throat. “Dani, thanks, but there’s no need …”

  She held up a hand. “No. Please let me finish.” Taking a deep breath, she started talking faster. “When it comes to my son, I’m afraid I’m too sensitive to a fault.”

  “Don’t know if that is possible, doll,” Ace said. “Don’t worry about it none.”

  “No, listen. I should have listened to what all of you had to say instead of running out of here.” Looking at Jackson directly, she finished her little speech. “I hope you can forgive me.”

  Jackson walked right over to her and enfolded her in a hug. “Nothing to forgive, Dan. This is on me. As soon as I saw your expression, I knew I should’ve told you about our idea privately.”

  Oh, but his hug felt good—almost as sweet as his words. She leaned in, allowing herself to enjoy the feeling of being held, of being protected. And before she realized what she was doing, she tightened her arms around his middle, holding him close.

  He kissed her brow. “That’s right, honey,” he said low enough for only her to hear. “You hold onto me, and I’ll help you. Hold on tight.”

  After kissing her brow one more time, he released her.

  She looked at his face. Saw something new there, something that was teasing at her own heart. Compassion, care, and a knowledge that there was something new between them. Or, maybe it had always been there. But it felt new.

  And now she understood Meredith’s expression when Dani’d said that she and Jackson were nothing more than friends. She knew now that was a lie. There was something real between them that wasn’t like anything she’d experienced in a long time. Not since she’d first fallen in love with Brian.

  Kurt pressed his hands together. “All right, y’all. I’m going to go finally put these burgers on before the boys revolt and take off to Burger King or something.”

  “Good. I’m starving,” Troy said.

  When everyone started working on supper again, Emily walked to Dani’s side and gave her a little hug. “I’m glad you came back and gave us another chance.”

  “Me, too. I don’t usually get so emotional. I’m so sorry.”

  Emily brushed off her apology with a shrug. “No reason to apologize. We’re all friends here.”

  Dani realized that was now true.

  * * *

  Forty minutes later, after they’d all eaten burgers and hot dogs, potato salad, lettuce cups, and a whole lot of Dani’s frosted sugar cookies, Jeremy appeared by her side.

  She noticed that his eyes were bright and that he was wearing a relaxed smile she hadn’t seen on his face lately. Well, not unless he was crouching behind home plate.

  “You okay, Mom?”

  She looked at him in surprise. “I’m fine. Why?”

  “Oh, no reason. It’s just that I haven’t been around you much tonight.”

  She smiled at him. “I’m glad. That means you have been having a good time with all the kids.” She searched his face. “You have, haven’t you?”

  “Yeah. Sam and Finn and their girlfriends have been really cool. They haven’t even been acting like I’m younger than them.”

  “You’re not that much younger than Finn, honey. Only by a year, right?”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t matter a whole lot. He’s in high school.”

  “I guess that is a big difference,” she teased. “Anyway, don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

  “We going to stay for a while longer?”

  Knowing that she still had to hear the guys’ plans for the poker tournament, she nodded. “Probably another hour.”

  He grinned. “Cool.”

  “When I say it’s time to go don’t fight me, okay?”

  “Yeah. I won’t.” After grabbing a soda from the tin bucket, he walked back over to the group of kids.

  Unable to resist, Dani watched him walk over to them. Sam Holland was sitting on top of a brick-red retaining wall. His girlfriend, Kayla, was snuggled up next to him, practically sitting on his lap. Finn Vance and his girlfriend, Allison, were sitting together far less intimately. Though they were both talking nonstop. All of them grinned at Jeremy when he approached and sat down in the empty chair.

  “He’s doing all right, isn’t he?” Jackson said, his voice soft.

  “Yeah. I thought your friends’ kids would be nice to him, but I didn’t think they’d be so friendly. He’s a little younger.”

  “Not that much. Just a year. Plus, they’re good kids. Relaxed, too. Easy to get along with.”

  “Well, Jeremy’s eating up their attention.”

  “He’s a good kid too, Dani. I don’t think they consider hanging out with him to be a hardship.”

  She was so glad about that. He had made a lot of good friends through baseball, but she wanted him to have friends who didn’t care how well he batted or caught balls behind the plate. “Hey, speaking of kids, I just realized that it’s been pretty quiet around here. Where’s Kate?”

  “She’s inside the house, in Kurt and Emily’s room watching Frozen. Again.”

  She laughed. “So she’s just fine.”

  Jackson smiled big enough for both of his dimples to pop. “Yeah. I thought maybe Kate would want me to sit with her, but when I tried to talk to her while Elsa was singing she told me to ‘Be quiet, Daddy.’”

  “Enough said.”

  “Look, how about we sit down now and talk about the poker game?”

  Steeling herself, she nodded. “Okay. Um, where do you want to go?”

  “The guys thought we could go back to the living room. The kids just set up the firepit, so they won’t be coming in anytime soon. They figured that would be the quietest place.”

  With a look of foreboding, she nodded and followed him back inside.

  CHAPTER 22

  From Les Larke’s

  You, Too, Can Host

  a Poker Tourney:

  It’s always good to establish house rules before you begin play. Think about how many chips each player may begin with and when to raise blinds.

  Breathe, Dani reminded herself for at least the fifth time in three minutes. Try to look like you aren’t embarrassed and horrified and angry all at the same time.

  She doubted she succeeded though. The minute the other women saw her face, their looks of happiness deflated.

  The men eyed Jackson with concern. She could practically feel his silent cues to them to not mess up.
/>   Because that was what this was. A real mess.

  Finally getting herself together, she steeled her shoulders and shook her head. “Everyone, put those looks of concern away right now. I’m fine.”

  Kurt darted a glance at Emily. “No offense, but I’ve learned the hard way that ‘fine’ doesn’t really mean ‘fine’ when a woman says it. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want.”

  He was giving her an out. If she told them that she didn’t want to talk about auctions and baseball bills, they would nod, and change the subject.

  Jackson would probably never try to lend her a helping hand ever again. She could go back to doing things on her own. Struggling in silence.

  “Thank you for that, but to be real honest, if I keep being so pig-headed, I think the only thing that’s going to benefit is my pride. I’d be real grateful to hear your plans.”

  Dani could practically feel all the worries that Jackson had been carrying slide off his shoulders.

  Bracing herself, she glanced at Kurt. Ready to hear his plans. But to her surprise, it wasn’t Kurt or Ace or even Jackson who started talking, but Emily.

  “Dani, I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve actually played poker with the guys.” Looking over at Campbell, she smiled. “I mean, Campbell and I did.”

  “Camp beat our socks off,” Troy muttered.

  “No way. Really?”

  “I’m pretty good at poker,” Campbell said with a small smile. “My brother taught me to play when I was a little girl. I’ll teach you, if you want.”

  “Um, maybe?” She’d never had any interest in poker, but if that’s what it took to be a part of the group, she figured she could give it a try.

  Emily laughed. “This isn’t a test. You don’t have to worry about playing Texas Hold’em if you don’t want to. My point is that we’ve been to one of these poker games and I can tell you that the guys are nice guys. They aren’t going to think anything about playing a tournament to raise money for your boy’s fees.”

  “They want to do something like this,” Troy said.

  Ace nodded. “I promise, none of us in this room came from a lot of money. We’ve all felt the pinch. I have a son who played his share of peewee football, too. It didn’t come cheap.”