When It Drops

by Alex Dyson

  ‘Jai’s going to be pissed, you know,’ she said eventually. ‘Do you want to tell him or do you want me to?’

  Caleb rolled from his prone position on his back and perched on the edge of his bed, his bare feet on the carpet. ‘Well … you are technically my manager, so …’

  Rachel gave the smallest of annoyed laughs. ‘Right. Here’s hoping you still need a manager. I’ll call you back.’

  The line went dead.

  … eight minutes and thirty-one seconds later …

  Caleb picked a bit of dirt from under his toenail.

  … four minutes and eleven seconds after that …

  Caleb sipped some water from the bottle beside his bed.

  … fifty-eight seconds later again …

  Caleb pondered the futility of life and the fact that time is just a construct.

  … two minutes and twenty-two seconds passed, and …

  Caleb’s phone rang.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Caleb, it’s Jai. What’s happening? Rachel said the interview is off?’

  Caleb took a deep breath and explained, again, what had happened.

  ‘Are you at home now?’ Jai asked. ‘Is your mum there?’

  Caleb heard a car door slam. ‘I think she just got back.’

  ‘Okay. Don’t move.’ Jai hung up.

  ... fifty-five minutes later …

  ‘CALEB?’ Caleb’s mum called out from the living room. She’d been fussing over a drooling Nat ever since they’d returned. His tooth was apparently fixed, though it was currently hidden behind his numb, droopy lips.

  Caleb dragged himself out of his bedroom. Standing in the living room next to his still-peeved mother, with a leather jacket over his white T-shirt, was Jai Fordham.

  ‘Caleb, this gentleman seems to think he’s your – what did you say you were?’

  ‘A&R man, Mrs Clifford. I help liaise between Caleb and TransAtlantic Records.’ Jai smiled. ‘You’ve got a very talented son, Mrs Clifford, and I –’

  ‘I’m sorry, but I’m going to stop you there,’ Caleb’s mum said, looking upset but composed. ‘If this is about that little interview or whatever it is, I’ve already told Caleb he’s grounded. He may be “talented”, but if he’s going to bully his little brother, he has to deal with the consequences.’

  Jai smiled genially again. ‘I understand, Mrs Clifford. It sounds like things got a bit out of hand. But maybe we could have a cup of tea and discuss everything? I’m sure there’s a lot you’re in the dark with – kids can be terrible at communicating.’

  Caleb felt affronted, but his mum’s face relaxed ever so slightly. ‘Well, you’re definitely right on that front.’

  ‘I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions. Hopefully I’ll be able to help out. Caleb, could you put the kettle on?’

  In a bit of a daze, Caleb wandered to the kitchen. While the kettle boiled, he stuck his head back into the lounge to find his mother on the couch with Jai in the armchair across from her.

  ‘So, you’re a nurse? That must be a challenging job. Rewarding, though?’

  In the time it took for Caleb to make the tea and bring the mugs to the lounge, his mother was in tears.

  ‘It’s just been so difficult since Roger died. I mean, I try my best, I think the boys are doing okay, and then I get a call from school telling me they’re fighting, and I’m just so exhausted from nightshift, and it’s all just so overwhelming …’

  Jai was nodding gently with his hand on her knee. ‘I know. It’s tough, but you’re doing an amazing job.’

  Caleb put the cups down on the coffee table and hovered silently, not sure what to do next.

  ‘Thanks, Caleb,’ Jai said. ‘Now, why don’t you head to your room so your mother and I can talk for a bit? I’m sure you’ve got plenty to do.’

  Caleb nodded, and left. Maybe it was best to leave this in the hands of the professionals.

  Caleb was lying on his bed when his phone rang. ‘Hello?’

  ‘You owe me.’ It was Jai, in the car on his way home.

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘I managed to convince her that tomorrow will be work and not play, and that it’s a great opportunity, and – so as long as you’re with me – we should be able to get around this grounding situation.’

  ‘Jai, that’s, just …’ Caleb was lost for words. He was stoked that his actions hadn’t derailed his career before it started. ‘That’s incredible. But how did you change her mind? Like, I can barely talk Mum into changing the TV channel.’

  Jai sighed. ‘Look, mate, women are different creatures – you’ve just got to know what they like. You’ll figure it out one day.’

  Caleb had never really thought that his mum, or Rachel, or Miralee, or even Ella were different creatures, but he was too relieved to bring that up with Jai, who probably knew what he was talking about.

  ‘So, I’ll see you and Rachel at Phresh FM, seven-forty tomorrow morning, okay? Now get some sleep, mate. You’ve got a big day coming up.’

  CHAPTER 12

  ‘Uh – Vutton?’

  ‘Um, yeah. It’s Button,’ said Jai, hastily taking Caleb’s coffee from a confused barista. They were at a cafe around the corner from the Phresh FM studios getting a pre-interview beverage. ‘Sorry, mate,’ he said to Caleb. ‘I told them Button with a “V”, but the guy mustn’t have understood.’

  Caleb said it was okay and took his latte. He would have preferred a hot chocolate, but had decided on a coffee as he was looking to give both his energy and street cred levels a boost.

  ‘Rachel?’

  ‘Yep!’

  Caleb had lain awake most of the night again. As good as coffee was for keeping someone up, it paled in comparison to a good old existential crisis. Ella’s face when she saw the poster. His mum’s face when she walked into the principal’s office. Nathaniel’s face when he realised about four per cent of his teeth were missing. Not to mention his dad’s face. It was not only disappointed, but not as clear as it used to be. His features were starting to blur. Of everything, this was probably the most concerning.

  ‘Jai?’

  ‘Right here, thanks.’ Jai collected his long black. ‘Ready to go?’

  Caleb nodded.

  Phresh FM was housed in a large glass building, a giant neon PHRESH sign welcoming them next to a reception desk. Just before they crossed the threshold (phreshold?), Rachel pulled Caleb aside. ‘If you need anything, you just tell me, okay, Button?’ she said. ‘It’s my job to take care of you. Are you thirsty? I could get you some water?’

  Caleb mentally checked his mouth’s moisture levels. They were a little low. ‘Sure. Thanks.’

  ‘Here we are, let’s do this!’ Jai beckoned them forward.

  The middle-aged woman at reception smiled warmly as they approached. ‘Good morn–’

  ‘Will there be water in the studio?’ Rachel enquired, not waiting for her to finish. ‘Caleb will be needing water!’

  The receptionist’s painted-on eyebrows rose. ‘Why yes, of course. Can I check you in first, though?’

  Rachel faltered. ‘Um, yes, but then my brother – um, I mean my client – I mean, this man will be needing some water.’

  The receptionist turned to the only person in the trio who didn’t seem to be panicking. ‘Who do we have here today?’

  ‘Hi there, sorry – Jai Fordham from TransAtlantic Records, with Rachel and Caleb Clifford.’

  The receptionist tapped on the keyboard. ‘First timers,’ Jai added, as if their weird behaviour didn’t make it obvious. ‘Caleb here is going to be in with the boys this morning.’

  Caleb looked around the reception area and noticed that ‘the boys’ were already there. Well, cardboard cut-outs of them were. Timmy and the Penguin, the country’s number one breakfast radio duo. Timmy appeared on the left, with spiky blond hair and eyes that bulged wide. He was pulling a weird face and pointing at his mate the Penguin, who was a lot larger, with a bushy moustache and a curved nose t
hat drooped over the top of it.

  ‘Just as long as Caleb has water.’

  Rachel seemed determined to fulfil Caleb’s only request. It was slightly reassuring that he wasn’t the only one feeling nervous.

  They signed in – Caleb deciding then and there to add ‘getting a proper signature’ to the list of adult things he needed to complete – before clipping on visitor passes and heading through a glass barrier into the main part of the building.

  The brushed metal of the elevator doors loomed over Caleb as they waited in silence. The reality of the situation was starting to come into brighter focus. He had trouble talking to one person. That trouble was about to be multiplied by hundreds of thousands.

  *DING*

  The doors opened and they entered the lift. Jai hit level nine. It sounded like the elevator music was taking a live feed from the radio, because there were commercials playing.

  ‘Helloooo, Frank Walker from National Tiiiiiles …’

  They started moving upwards. But Caleb felt like his stomach remained on the ground floor. He took a sip of coffee to steady himself, but that just made his mouth taste yucky. Plus, he actually had to go to school after all this. As part of his plea deal, Jai had promised Caleb’s mum that Caleb wouldn’t miss any classes. And on top of that, the planet’s average temperature was rising at an alarming rate due to human emissions. Sure, that fact was almost totally irrelevant to his current situation, but it certainly didn’t make Caleb feel any better.

  *DING*

  The doors opened, and the Phresh FM studios materialised in front of Caleb’s eyes.

  Green and glass everywhere. Acid green couch, glass office. Acid green toaster, glass tumblers. Quite a few people were milling around already too, even though it wasn’t yet 8am.

  Caleb and Rachel followed Jai, who seemed to know where he was going. They walked down a carpeted hallway, through a heavy glass door, and found themselves in a hive of activity.

  ‘Ah, good morning!’

  A woman with a straight fringe and a headset shook Jai’s hand, then started talking into her headset. ‘Just a second – NO, we’ll time-call, then into the segment, then we’ve got time for commercials before the news.’ She turned back to the group. ‘Sorry, love. I’m Meredith – you must be BVTTON?’ she said, still shaking Jai’s hand.

  ‘Um, no, I’m Jai from TransAtlantic. This is BVTTON,’ he said, motioning to Caleb.

  ‘Oh my goodness, sorry, you are a young one, aren’t you? Apologies for that, darling. You must be really excited, hey?’

  Caleb wasn’t sure ‘excited’ was the word he would use.

  Meredith laughed. ‘The boy’s speechless! That won’t be good on air. You’ll be right, babes, just do your best.’

  Rachel was milling around making throat-clearing noises.

  ‘Ah, yes,’ Jai said, clearly picking up on Rachel’s signal. ‘Meredith, this is Rachel, Caleb’s sis–’

  ‘Manager,’ Rachel jumped in.

  ‘Oh, excellent – welcome. Please make yourself at home.’ Meredith motioned towards a green couch that faced a large window. It was only now that Caleb was able to focus on his surrounds, and he quickly realised what was on the other side of the glass: a full on-air radio studio, with lights, microphones, computer monitors, and the real-life versions of the hosts he’d seen downstairs in cardboard form.

  On the left was the man he recognised as Timmy. His peroxide-blond hair wasn’t as spiky as the cardboard cut-out version, and he was tapping his foot under the desk to the song that was playing. Next to him, behind another mic, was a large man who, with his giant moustache, looked more like a walrus than a penguin.4

  Across the desk from the hosts was a man Caleb didn’t recognise. He stood in front of at least six computer screens, and seemed to be pressing all the buttons for the show. Next to them was an empty stool in front of a third microphone. A microphone that Caleb guessed would very soon be broadcasting his own words. He gulped.

  ‘Now,’ said Meredith, ‘Can I get you some water or anything?’

  ‘You read my mind,’ said Rachel. ‘Do you need a hand?’

  ‘For sure, follow me. You boys get comfortable – the couch doesn’t bite.’

  Caleb sat down and surveyed the room. Two other people who he guessed were producers bustled around them. One was answering the phone, ‘… no, we don’t have any free CDs, sorry … no … maybe try Gold FM …’

  A new face entered the room. Slick black hair. Red-and-black flannel shirt. He smiled when he saw Jai. ‘JJ, my man, what is UP.’

  ‘Here he is! What’s happening, Dubz?’

  The pair embraced. The flannel guy turned to Caleb. ‘And this must be the man of the moment?’

  ‘That’s right. Caleb, this is Luke Dubz.’

  ‘Woah – um, hi!’ Caleb managed to spit out.

  ‘Hey, mate, good to see you. I see this vulture got his claws into you early?’

  ‘Ha ha, well, strike while the iron’s hot,’ said Jai.

  As the two incredibly cool-looking men chatted, the song playing over the speakers came to an end, and the two slightly less cool-looking men inside the studio sat up to attention.

  ‘Hey, I’m just going to go for a slash before the kid jumps on air,’ Jai said.

  A red ‘on air’ light came on in the studio as Jai walked out, leaving Caleb alone with Luke. The hosts began to talk, their words coming through the production booth speakers. Caleb held his breath.

  ‘You are on Phresh FM, the FRESHEST music mix,’ said Timmy into the mic. ‘Timmy and the Penguin, hanging out with you allll morning long. Oh, and would you look at the time, Penguin?’

  ‘What, home time already? You BE-YOOTY!’

  ‘Ha, not yet, big fella, we’ve still got plenty of great stuff on the show, including an EXCLUSIVE interview with the artist behind a song we’ve been flogging more than a gelding in the last hundred metres of the Melbourne Cup!’

  ‘WO-HOAAA! HE WENT THERE!’

  Caleb cringed. Luke Dubz put his hand on his forehead. ‘Sorry about these guys,’ he whispered.

  ‘Ha ha, nah,’ Timmy continued. ‘We have been playing it a heck of a lot, but it’s actually this kid’s first ever interview, so you’ll have to go easy on him, Penguin! Anyway, before that, it’s everyone’s favourite time of the week!’ The man behind the computers pressed a button, and some highly produced audio fired off: a phone ringing, some throbbing music, and a booming voice that said ‘PENGUIN’S P-PP-PRANKS!’ The audio that followed was the Penguin talking in a fake Indian accent to a caller who just wanted to get back to their breakfast.

  Luke, who was sitting on the arm of the couch, winced at a joke about naan. ‘Look, these the guys are a bit … y’know,’ he said out of the side of his mouth. ‘But they’re also the highest-rating show on breakfast radio, and it’s a big deal for you to be here, so just go with it.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll try.’ Caleb nodded. The duo in the studio had gone to another set of commercials, while a young producer at the far end of the room was on another call.

  ‘… no, of course we don’t condone ethnic stereotypes … no … look, if you’d like to make a formal complaint, you’ll have to go to our website …’

  ‘So, um … what else have you been up to?’ Caleb asked, trying to have as normal a conversation as he could in this situation.

  ‘Nothing much, man, just doing the show. Chilling out. Getting ready for Splendour. You going?’

  ‘Yeah, apparently!’ said Caleb.

  The reminder that he was going to Splendour in the Grass warmed Caleb up ever so slightly. Disappearing into a crowd seemed like the ideal thing for him right now.

  ‘Sorry for the wait! The filtered water tap wasn’t working.’ Rachel and Meredith returned from their mission and handed a glass to Caleb, who took a big swig. The cool liquid momentarily soothed his desert-like mouth. Timmy and the Penguin were up to the news and traffic report now.

  ‘Okay!’ said Meredith. ‘That
means we can get you in with the boys. Caleb, if you’ll follow me.’

  ‘Good luck, mate!’ Luke said.

  ‘You’ll be great, Cale! Have fun!’ Rachel gave him a hug.

  Caleb didn’t want to let go.

  ‘Caleb, this is Timmy.’

  ‘Mate! Welcome to the studio!’ Timmy took his headphones off and gave Caleb’s hand a vigorous shake before beckoning to the empty stool.

  ‘And this is Michael, but you can call him the Penguin,’ Meredith said.

  Penguin/Michael waved from his seat. ‘Morning! Jeez, you’re just a foetus, hey?’

  Caleb didn’t know how to respond to that.

  ‘And this is Jai5,’ Meredith continued, beckoning towards the man pressing the buttons behind the computers.

  ‘Hey,’ Caleb mumbled.

  ‘We’ve been loving the song, mate,’ Timmy said. ‘We’ll just have a quick chat to you about that and whatnot, shouldn’t be a problem.’

  Caleb nodded.

  Timmy’s smile faltered slightly. He glanced quickly over at Penguin. ‘All right, great. Just as long as you don’t nod on the radio.’

  ‘Oh, sure, sorry,’ Caleb replied. ‘I’m just a bit nervous.’

  ‘Hey, nervous is good, nervous is real – just say whatever’s on your mind. We’ve got a dump button so we can get rid of it if we need to.’

  ‘Yeah, if we haven’t used it already with Timmy’s potty mouth!’ said Meredith.

  ‘Okay, we’re coming back!’ Jai yelled. Timmy and the Penguin put their headphones back on.

  ‘Chuck your cans on!’ Timmy said loudly.

  Caleb looked at him blankly.

  ‘Your cans! Headphones!’

  ‘Oh!’ Caleb threw on the spare headphones. Meredith left as the studio’s red light illuminated. Caleb’s pupils dilated.

  It began. Timmy was suddenly talking a million miles an hour. ‘Aaaand thank you, Caroline, for another wonderful weather update here on PHRESH FM, your fffffffffffreshest music mix! You’re with Timmy and the Penguin. And we’ve got a special treat for you this morning, don’t we, Penguin?’ ‘That’s right, Timmy! For the past week we have been getting request after request for one song here at Phresh. Just constant badgering, all, “Please please please, it’ll only take four minutes!” they say. Now I know how my wife feels after the lights go out!’