The Light to My Darkness

by Ivy Smoak

  A doll? I wasn't so sure about that. I could picture her spilling coffee all over Rob's desk and throwing papers around for fun. "I think I'm going to go get her."

  "You're supposed to be on bed rest," Daphne said.

  "You sound like a mother."

  "I guess that's what happens when you become a mother yourself. Is James coming home soon?"

  "Mhm. His flight is supposed to arrive this afternoon. So I'll have my whole family back soon."

  Daphne laughed. "You didn't enjoy your night off?"

  I thought about the will sitting on my desk. "Not really. This place is a little big for one person."

  "Well, the whole gang will be back soon. Now go get in bed."

  "Okay, geez. Thanks for watching Scar last night."

  "It was my pleasure. Do you want to do lunch tomorrow?"

  "Yeah, that would be great. See you tomorrow."

  "Bye, Penny."

  I hung up the phone and looked down at the omelet Ellen had made me. My stomach seemed to churn.

  "Hon, is everything alright?" Ellen asked. "You haven't touched your breakfast. I made your favorite."

  "I know, I'm sorry. I'm just not hungry this morning."

  "Penny, you're supposed to be eating for two. You're not even feeding one."

  I laughed. "Trust me, if he wanted food, he'd be kicking me mercilessly." I pushed the plate away.

  She sighed and picked it up from the counter. "Do you want anything else? I'll make you whatever you want. You're not really supposed to take those on an empty stomach." She nodded at the pill bottle next to my glass.

  I wanted ice cream. But I wasn't going to ask her to make a special trip for me. I had put it on the grocery list and she usually went in the afternoons. I'd have it soon enough. "I'm fine. Everyone is making such a fuss this morning."

  "Of course I'm making a fuss. Exterminators are here, tromping mud all through the house. Throwing off my whole cleaning schedule." She seemed truly flustered.

  "I'm sorry, Ellen."

  "Oh, no, it's fine, dear. I'm just on edge this morning. Do you really think there are snakes in the house?"

  "Honestly? No. I have no idea how Scar could sneak a snake into the house. I'm just being paranoid."

  She smiled. "No, you're just being a mother." She turned off the faucet. "Are you sure you don't want anything else to eat?"

  "I'm sure."

  "Well, I'm going to go follow those men around with a broom."

  I shook my head as she exited the kitchen. I shouldn't have gone through with the exterminators coming. It was completely ridiculous. Ow. I put my hand on the center of my chest. Maybe I should get that second opinion that Mr. Caldwell had advised. I stood up and walked over to my purse on the counter. My hand rummaged through my purse until my fingers found the card. I pulled it out and looked down at the information. A second opinion never hurt.

  "Mrs. Hunter, we have the all clear."

  I looked up at Porter and dropped the card back in my purse. "They checked everywhere?"

  "It's their job to."

  "So...nothing?"

  Porter nodded. "Nothing. I had them check for everything while they were out here. No rats or anything either."

  "Well, that's good."

  He smiled. "Scarlett is cleared to come back in the house now. Did you want me to go pick her up from Rob and Daphne's?"

  "No. She insisted on going to work with Rob. He's bringing her by at lunch."

  "Thanks for keeping her at bay."

  "I didn't." I walked back over to my glass of orange juice. "She didn't want to come home." I took a sip of the sweet juice. "Are you sure there was nothing?"

  "I'm positive."

  "Then what is she so scared of? Why can't I comfort her?"

  "Kids." Porter shrugged his shoulders. "You know how they are."

  "Porter, you don't have any kids."

  "Yeah, but I certainly hang out with Briggs' kid enough."

  I laughed. "She's an angel. Whereas my daughter thinks something possessed by the devil is residing in our home."

  "That's not true."

  I suddenly wished my orange juice was something stronger. "I already know what's going to happen this afternoon. Rob's going to try to drop her off and she's going to put up a fight and scream at the top of her lungs. God, I hate that noise. When does James' flight arrive?"

  "His plane should touch down around 2. William will be waiting for him at the terminal."

  I bit the inside of my lip. William. My stomach seemed to churn again. I was starting to feel guilty that we were going to have to let William go. How was he going to take it?

  "Before I forget, I have those resumes you requested," Porter said and handed me a stack of folders.

  "Wow. I didn't realize there'd be so many."

  "And those are just the vetted ones. A lot of good men in there. Lots of ex military."

  "So tons of serious men like you that want me to call them by their last names?"

  "Exactly." He gave me a smile.

  "Well, let's find one with a soft side like you." I opened the top folder.

  "A soft side?" Porter laughed. "I'd beg to differ."

  I looked up at him. "You just had my home searched for snakes on a whim of mine. You're a sweet guy."

  He shook his head. "Check out folder twelve. I have a feeling you'll like him the most. I should get back to my post."

  "Thanks for everything, Porter." I picked up the stack of resumes and walked into my office. I had a few hours before Scar came home. Hopefully I could get a little writing done first. I dropped the stack of folders down on my desk and switched on my computer.

  ***

  My eyes kept glancing at the time instead of focusing on the words I was writing. My ability to concentrate was officially gone. Besides, Rob would be here any minute, depending on when he was able to get away.

  I pulled out the folder labeled with a twelve. I could at least get started on sorting through these. I opened up the folder. A picture of Ian stared back at me. What? I flipped to the write-up Porter had made and scanned the information. Ian had served in Iraq for three years. He was honorably discharged after a gunshot wound. He passed the written admissions test for Quantico, but failed the physical examination due to the damage in his left knee from the previously mentioned gunshot wound in Iraq. And last, he was a former member of Mr. Hunter's security detail.

  Security detail. Ian wasn't a driver at all. How had I not known that? He had served our country and gotten injured. And he couldn't follow his passion of being an FBI agent because of his injury. I felt a pang of guilt. I should have known this. Why hadn't James told me?

  I picked up my phone and clicked on Porter's name. He answered in one ring.

  "Read the file?" Porter asked.

  "Ian was one of you."

  "Technically, he was my boss."

  Ow. Why was this conversation making my chest hurt? "And William?"

  "Also a member of your security detail. James asked me not to divulge this information to you. He didn't want you to know how much the security detail had implemented themselves in your everyday life. But I can't help it if you requested the files."

  "Why did you want me to know?"

  "Because you should know that Ian isn't just a driver. He's overqualified for the position, really."

  "I can see that." I flipped back to the picture of him. "And what about William?"

  "What about him?"

  "Is he ex military too?"

  "He was in the navy."

  I put my forehead in my hand. No wonder he was so serious. He was younger than Ian. He had probably seen terrible things more recently. "Can we transfer him to a position like yours instead?"

  "Certainly. Or Ian could be in our office instead of on the line of duty. That's up to you and James."

  I looked up at the camera in the corner of the room. I thought about the things that Porter and Briggs could see. "I don't want him to have to watch me. I'd rather h
im be out in the field."

  There was an awkward pause on his end. "Of course." He cleared his throat. "I'll draw up the necessary paperwork for William's transfer. And for rehiring Ian. I'll run through it with James when he returns."

  "That sounds perfect." I bit the inside of my lip. Exactly how far had they implemented themselves in my life?

  "Is there something else?" he asked. He could probably see my expression through the camera.

  "What about Ellen? Is she..."

  Porter laughed, cutting me off. "Ellen is the best housekeeper and chef I know. But no, she is not a member of your security detail."

  I laughed. "I just had to check."

  "Rob and Scarlett have entered the building. He'll be knocking in about a minute."

  "Okay. And Cole?"

  "Yes, Penny?"

  I could hear the smile in his voice. "I appreciate everything you do for us. I hope you know that."

  "I do. Have a good afternoon, Penny. I'll call you when Mr. Hunter lands."

  "Thanks." I hung up the phone and slowly got up. I was comforted by the fact that William and Ian were both members of the security detail. But now it made even less sense that James hadn't taken Briggs with him. Maybe it wasn't the reason I thought it was, though. Maybe James knew how hard it was to be away from his family. And he didn't want Briggs to be away from his own daughter. I smiled as I walked over to the door.

  "Ow," I said out loud and put my hand on the wall. "What are you doing in there?" I stared down at my stomach. My son kicked me again. It felt like he was doing cartwheels in my belly. The pain seemed to grow, spreading into my chest. I took a deep breath and told myself that the pain wasn't real. That it was all in my head.

  Chapter 32

  Monday

  I opened the door and smiled down at my daughter.

  "Hi, Mommy." She looked up at me in a strange way. As if she were studying me.

  "Hi, Scar, I missed you." I bent down to hug her but she ran past me.

  "Ellie!" she screamed.

  I tried not to show the disappointment on my face. I had told myself that she wanted to hang out with Rob because she missed her father and wanted to hang out with another male in James' absence. But that wasn't the case. She seemed perfectly content as Ellen picked her up.

  "Hi, sweet girl," Ellen said. "Did you have fun at the office?"

  "Yes! I got to play with the copy machine."

  I glanced at Rob.

  He shrugged his shoulders.

  "Come in," I said. "I hope she wasn't a nuisance."

  "Nah, it was fun. Soph never wants to come to work with me. Everyone doted on her all morning. They couldn't stop talking about her beautiful red hair."

  "Mhm." I looked over at Scar. Ellen was taking her upstairs to play. Ellen could entertain her for hours, yet she didn't want to spend one minute alone with me.

  "James called last night to say goodnight to Scarlett. And he may have mentioned that you needed this."

  I smiled and grabbed the grocery bag that I hadn't noticed. "I love you so much, Rob." I pulled out the pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream. "Do you want some?"

  "I've never turned down ice cream before."

  We walked into the kitchen and I grabbed two spoons. "Did you already have lunch? I'm sure we have something more substantial to go with this."

  "We grabbed hot dogs on the way here. Scarlett insisted."

  "Of course she did." We made our way into the family room. I took the top off the ice cream container as I sat down on the couch, and then I took a huge bite. "God, it's everything I've been craving and more."

  Rob laughed as he took a bite. "It's good, but it's not orgasmic, Penny."

  I shook my head and laughed. "It's all I've been craving since the wedding." I put my hand on the center of my chest.

  "Hey, are you okay?"

  "I'm fine." I immediately removed my hand and took another bite. "I just have indigestion or something." I frowned at my own words. I had barely eaten anything in the past two days. What would I be having indigestion from? "Being pregnant sucks."

  Rob laughed. "Daphne's getting into that phase too. Pregnant women. Ugh."

  I lightly shoved his shoulder and tried not to wince at the pain that had now shifted to my stomach.

  "Seriously, are you okay? You look really pale."

  "Nothing a little ice cream can't fix." I took another bite and forced myself to swallow. Now I felt incredibly nauseous. "So what deal was James trying to land?"

  Rob laughed. "How should I know?"

  I set the pint of ice cream down on the coffee table. "Rob, you're the CEO. Shouldn't you know everything that's going on?" I smiled at him.

  "Yeah, and I do." He said it a little defensively.

  "Okay, so what deal is James trying to get for Hunter Tech in London?"

  "I have no idea what you're talking about."

  Another pain shot through my stomach and I leaned forward slightly. "You asked him to go to London."

  "What? No, I didn't. He's not there for Hunter Tech."

  Ow. "What do you mean? Why else would he go to London?"

  "I don't know. I thought it was for the university."

  "He's not teaching an abroad program." I laughed awkwardly. "Seriously, Rob, why was he in London?"

  "I don't know. But the paparazzi probably do." He picked up his phone and typed something in. He lowered both his eyebrows.

  "What?" I asked.

  "Nothing." He tried to move his phone away from me but I grabbed it.

  He had done a Google image search. There were tons of images of James dining with some woman at an outdoor restaurant. Some gorgeous woman with long, brunette hair and skin that was too tan for London's dreary climate. "Who is this woman?" I asked.

  "I don't know, I've never seen her before."

  I laughed. "Is this some kind of weird joke, Rob? One of your pranks?" I stared at him hopefully and tried to ignore the pain in my chest. What the fuck was James doing with some beautiful woman in London? And why had he lied to me about it?

  "I'm sure there's an innocent explanation," Rob said. "He should be back pretty soon, right?"

  I glanced at the clock. "In about an hour."

  "I should probably get back to work." Rob abruptly stood up.

  "Rob."

  He seemed to cringe.

  "Is he cheating on me?"

  Rob laughed. "No, of course not. He wouldn't." But there was doubt in his voice. Suspicion. And maybe, just maybe, a small hint of anger. I just didn't know if it was directed at me or his brother.

  "Rob? If you know something you have to tell me." I stood up and immediately hunched forward.

  "Penny?"

  I felt his hands on my shoulders. "Ow." I put my hand on my stomach. I didn't realize I had said it out loud. But by the look on Rob's face, I definitely had.

  "Penny, are you alright?"

  "No." I shook my head. "I'm going to be sick."

  "Okay...just..." his voice trailed off as he ran into the kitchen.

  Fuck. I grabbed my stomach.

  Rob came back just in time with a bowl.

  I sat down on the carpet and threw up. Every little bit that was left in my stomach barely covered the bottom of the bowl.

  He ran his hand up and down my back. "Do you want me to get Ellen?"

  I shook my head. "No. I don't want Scar to see me like this." I leaned over the bowl again. My stomach still ached, but nothing else seemed to want to come up.

  Rob handed me a paper towel.

  "I'm so sorry." I wiped my mouth off.

  "I'm the one that should be apologizing. The ice cream I brought made you sick."

  "No, it's probably just really late morning sickness. I'm fine." Fuck, it hurts.

  "I think I should take you to the doctor."

  I shook my head. "Rob," I said and looked up at him. "Is James having an affair? Tell me he's not. Please." It felt like my heart was ripping in two. Something was wrong. Somethin
g was terribly wrong.

  "No." He said it firmly this time. The doubt was gone.

  And then I felt it. A wetness surrounding me. It was too soon. Panic started to weigh on top of the searing pain in my stomach. "My water broke," I croaked. Two months too early. I felt tears welling in my eyes.

  "Shit," Rob said. "I'll get Ellen."

  "No. Scar can't see me like this." I grabbed his leg. "Help me up. William will take me to the hospital."

  "Penny..."

  "Please, Rob. Scar already thinks I'm weak. She can't see me like this." I tried to blink away the tears. "I don't want her to see me like this."

  I leaned over in pain.

  Rob pulled out his cell phone. "My sister-in-law's water just broke," he said into the cell phone. "Twenty minutes, are you fucking kidding me?" He hung up the phone. "Okay, I'm going to help you up." He leaned down and grabbed my hands.

  I grimaced in pain. "Something's wrong. It's too soon." It didn't feel the way it had when my water broke when I was pregnant with Scarlett. Everything felt wrong.

  "It's okay," Rob said as he slowly helped me to my feet. But then something in his face changed. Horror. Dread. Agony. They swept over his features in a flash.

  I suddenly felt faint and I teetered forward slightly.

  "Ellen!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Ellen, call William and tell him to get the car started!"

  I winced in pain. Why was he calling for her? I had just asked him not to.

  Ellen came running down the stairs and gasped. The look of horror on her face matched Rob's.

  I followed her trail of vision and stared down at the pool of blood at my feet. Seeping into the carpet. Dripping down my legs. The blood was everywhere.

  "You're okay," Rob said as he scooped me up into his arms and started running. "You're going to be okay."

  But I wasn't. I just knew I wasn't. Because the pain in my stomach was growing worse by the second. And my son wasn't kicking me. He wasn't fucking kicking me.

  "Christ!" Rob yelled as he slammed his fist against the elevator button.

  Porter and Briggs ran out of their office down the hall.

  "What happened?" Porter asked. He reached out to take me from Rob.

  I grabbed the collar of Rob's shirt. I didn't want him to let me go.