To Come First

by J C Rae

  "Oh yeah, I love a good meat lovers pizza. Now, that I could get on board with. Please tell me that you're not a veggie person! I don't think we can be friends if you are."

  He looks at me like he cannot wait to hear my response. I think about teasing him but decide instead to go with the truth. "I love meat lovers' pizza. I don't mind if it has some veggies on it but I want it loaded with pepperoni and bacon. Oh god, I could eat bacon on just about anything!"

  He chuckles quietly and agrees. I'm not sure that I've ever felt this comfortable with someone else before. I don't feel that tingly attraction to him, even though he is very good looking. It's more of a brotherly feeling. I wonder if he feels the same thing but I'm not going to bring it up right now. I know we just met earlier today but I kind of feel like I've known him forever.

  With those thought running thru my head, I decide that I need to warn him about Jane and Glen. He looks lost in thought right now, so I decide to just jump right in.

  "Matt, I know we just met but I'm gonna be honest here. I feel like I've known you for a while. Like we are long lost siblings. I'm not sure why but I want to protect you. It's weird because I've never felt that way about anyone, other than the kids. It's kind of weird but I'm just gonna roll with it. That being said, I need to warn you about Glen and Jane. I wasn't kidding earlier when I told you to watch your back with them. They do not have the best intentions and I'm not even sure why they brought you in since you have an Uncle and will be leaving soon."

  His thoughtful look stops me from continuing my word vomit and I silently let him digest my words. After a couple minutes, he replies, "Ash, I'm not even sure where my Uncle is. I haven't seen him for years and I'm just hoping that he comes soon. When my parents first died,"

  I look up to see his shiny eyes and I know that this is something he still hasn't come to terms with. Without even thinking about it, I grab his hand and tell him that I'm here if he ever wants to talk about it. He shakes his head in acknowledgment and takes a deep breath.

  "When my parents first died, I was put into a group home. They told me that they had left messages for my Uncle but he was out of the country. I was only there for a couple weeks when I was told that they were going to move me to a private home to wait for him to contact them. I'm not sure why but it seemed like there was something they weren't saying. Then I met that bitch social worker and figured they just didn't want to tell me what I was going to have to deal with. She didn't tell me much, just that, and I quote, I was 'going to stay with a lovely couple that fosters a troubled young lady'. I guess that would be you."

  His last words aren't a question, so I don't bother answering him. I chuckle as I think about it and smile sweetly, letting my eyes flutter innocently. "Who, me? Why, I'd never!"

  That's all it takes to open the dam on his laughter. I've got tears rolling down my cheeks and my side hurts. I look around, realizing that we have stopped walking about 1 block from the house, and decide to just roll with it.

  After we both calm down, I sigh. Looking down the block towards the house, I decide to just get it over with and tell him the truth. "That 'lovely couple' you are staying with will hurt you the first chance they get. They must think that your Uncle isn't coming since they decided to bring you here, so they won't wait long to try something. Watch your back and sleep with one eye open. I'll try to help but I'm not sure what I can do."

  "Why don't you turn them in?"

  "I tried once and they told the hospital and the cops that I had cut myself for attention. Because I'm just the poor little orphan girl, they have never believed me. I tried telling Mrs. Botch, but she just laughed and walked away. I learned out that she's just as bad as they are. No one around here that could help believed me because they show themselves as such a happy loving couple in public. Now, I've just resigned myself to living long enough to get out of their house. I should be graduating within the next month or so and then I'm going to college, far away from here. I've already applied to a couple and they have grants that I can get to pay."

  After that, we both quietly walk towards the house.

  Chapter 6

  Walking quietly into the house, I listen for any movement. All I can hear is silence--which usually means that they are both at work. I'm not gonna let my guard down, either way, until I know for sure though. Heading thru the house, I check the downstairs quickly. The entire time I'm looking, I can feel Matt following. Once the downstairs is cleared, I head upstairs and get the same results. They are both gone for the time being.

  Slowly, I let out a breath and finally look towards him. He seems to understand that I needed to do that and just has a contemplative look on his face.

  "So, do you do that every time you come home?"

  I pause for a second and then just shake my head yes. "Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there. I learned that the hard way."

  I make my way towards my room and sit down on the side of the bed. Everything looks the same as when I left it so I let myself fall backwards. I know he followed me so I just wait to see what he says next.

  "You don't have to tell me anything but I have to admit that I'm curious. On the outside, Glen and Jane look like nice people but I know that's not the case. I could tell when I first met them that something was wrong. It was just a gut feeling but I have learned to trust myself. I'm usually a good judge of character, which is why I have stuck with you. I don't sense any bad vibes coming from you. Actually, if I'm being honest, I feel like I've known you forever. It's weird but I have this weird feeling that I need to protect you. Kind of like a big brother would. It's like you said earlier."

  He huffs and laughs at the same time and I can't help the smile that curls my lips upward. Once he sees my expression, he can't seem to help himself and lets out a huge chuckle. We both calm down quickly and just kind of stare at each other. I'm not sure what he's thinking but I know that I need to be honest with him like he was with me.

  "I know they put on a good front in public but as soon as that door shuts, it's a whole different story. I learned early on to protect myself. Sometimes they catch me off guard and I have the scars to prove it. I really don't want to talk about it but let's just say they like knives and baseball bats. And I don't mean in the kitchen or on the field."

  His eyes widen as I let him process my words. Knowing that we could sit here all day and talk if we let ourselves, I stand up and start out the door. Before he can ask, I explain that I have chores that must be done before they get home or I won't get to eat. Considering I am the one that usually has to cook dinner, it sucks if I don't get to eat it.

  He falls in step with me and before I know it we have cleaned the living room, kitchen, and both bathrooms. I know that my room is already clean and I don't step foot in their room, ever. Once that is all done, I head to the kitchen to get started on dinner. Looking thru the cabinets, I see that we have everything I need to make spaghetti so I get started. Matt asks if there's anything that he can help with and I have him start chopping things for the salad.

  We both hear the door slam shut and I'm already straightening my spine, readying for an attack. It's a habit that I don't think I will ever stop. Glen walks casually into the kitchen and sets his bag on the table. He eye's both of us and then quickly dismisses us with a shake of his head.

  "Your mom will be home in about half hour so make sure you have dinner ready. I'm gonna go watch some T.V. Matthew, how about you come join me and let Ashley finish up in here?"

  All the prep is pretty much done so I just shrug my shoulders and watch as Matt follows him to the living room. I can hear the T.V. turn on but I don't hear any talking so he must've just wanted to make me do all the work. It's not really surprising.

  ◆◆◆

  I am just setting the salad on the table when I hear the door close again. I've already set the table and all that's left is to pull the garlic bread out of the oven. As I'm heading that way, I hear soft footsteps behind me and then the smack on th
e back of my head. If I wouldn't have been shielding myself, I would probably have burned my hand.

  "Are you too stupid to see that you forgot the garlic bread? Who makes spaghetti without garlic bread? I swear, you have no common sense."

  She starts walking towards the fridge while she rants and I pull the garlic bread out of the oven. I thought she would've smelled it but evidently not. As I set it on the top of the stove, she turns around with a sneer on her face. I just watch her as I raise my eyebrow. If she thinks she's going to catch me off guard, she's going to have to try a lot harder. As we are staring at each other, Glen and Matt walk in. Glen takes one look at his wife and laughs. It's such an odd response from him that I jerk my head around and stare.

  "Now, Jane, I know you had a hard day today so why don't you go ahead and sit at the table while Ashley finishes what she's doing. I'm sure she won't make us wait much longer, right?"

  As he says this, he turns to look directly at me. I can see the fierce look in his eyes and know that he will get me back for pissing off Jane but for some reason, he's trying to hide that side from Matt. Huh, I wish they'd try to hide it from me too but I know better than that.

  I quickly throw the bread on a platter and carry it to the table. Once that's there, I look around to make sure I didn't forget anything. Nothing seems to be missing so I take my seat since everyone else has already sat down.

  "So, Matthew," Glen starts, "I hope that Ashley was a good host today."

  "Yes, of course she was. She showed me around town and I can't wait to check out some of the shops."

  There is no way that I am going to add my two cents so I just fill up my plate, grab some garlic bread, and start eating.

  "Well," Jane stops and clears her throat. "That's nice. We do have some quaint small town shops along the square. I'm sure you'll find something that interests you. Please feel free to wonder around but just make sure to be back by dark, unless we make other arrangements."

  The way she smiles makes me want to gag, which wouldn't be good because I don't want to choke on my food. I can see it now in the headlines, DEATH BY SPAGHETTI! Ugh, that sounds horrible. Matt seems to have a weird look on his face and I can't help but wonder if he will fall for their crap. Oh well, I guess he can do whatever he wants. From what he said, he won't be here for long anyways.

  I wait for everyone to finish and then I start clearing the dishes. Matt starts to help but Glen tell him to let the ladies handle it and they go to the living room. Jane turns towards me and I can see the snarl on her face.

  "Get those dishes done and the kitchen cleaned, then you can head up to bed. I don't want to hear another peep out of you tonight. Do you understand?" I nod yes and finish clearing the table. Once I have everything in the kitchen, I load the dishwasher and clean everything else up. After sweeping and mopping, I head up to my room and move stuff around until I'm satisfied that no one can get in without me knowing.

  I'm not sure what they want with Matt and why they are being so nice around him, but I figure it can't be anything good. I hope that he heeds my warning. That's the last thought I have before closing my eyes.

  Chapter 7

  The next morning came with a quiet stillness that I wasn't used to. Normally, I never got to sleep for the whole night! Not knowing what to expect, I put my room back to how it should be and left my room. I could hear voices but they weren't close. I went thru my morning routine in the shower and got dressed. I really didn't want to go downstairs but there wasn't really an option not to, so down I went.

  What I saw stopped me in my tracks. Matt was sitting at the table with Glen and Jane, and they were all laughing! That never happened here. Am I dreaming? Matt saw me first and smiled. "So, Ash, what are we doing today?"

  I needed coffee before I could figure this out so I headed that way. "I don't have anything this morning but I have to be at work at noon. You can go if you want, it's up to you."

  As I breathe in the glorious smell of coffee, he nods his head. "I'd love to. Maybe we can get lunch before you have to go?"

  I look over towards Glen and Jane, and they are just sitting there listening. This is so weird. I have to wonder why they are putting on this show for Matt. UGH, it makes my head hurt trying to figure it out this early so I just leave it be. I know that I can protect myself. I'll just have to be on guard at all times. Hopefully, Matt will not gang up on me with them but I learned early on to never trust anyone else. It's rough being alone all the time but it's safer.

  "Lunch sounds great." I reply, "We can head out around 10 and maybe I can show you around the shops too."

  "That works for me. Is that okay with you guys?" he says as he looks over at Glen and Jane. They both nod their heads and smile.

  OK, I have officially entered the twilight zone! What the hell is going one? I'm gonna need more than one cup of coffee so I head back to the coffee pot and start another one.

  "Ashley, I'm proud to see that you have taken a liking to Matthew. He will need your support so I approve. You guys can head in town whenever you want." Glen pauses and tilts his head to the side. "If you need some money, I'm sure I can come up with some chores you could do to earn them."

  He stares right at me as he says this and I know he's not talking about house chores! Yuck, I cannot believe he just said that! Matt and Jane are quietly talking to each other and not paying any attention to us so I tilt my head to the side and stare right back at him. "I would rather starve than take your offer. I don't know what you're trying to pull but you can leave me out of it!"

  With that, I turn back to the coffee pot and pour my cup. I am definitely gonna need more coffee!

  ◆◆◆

  Things are quiet after this mornings events. I feel off balance because I don't know what's going on but I'm ready to go at 10. I don't have to search for long to find Matt. He's laying across his bed, staring at the ceiling. I don't want to interrupt him but if he is wanting to look around, we are going to have to leave soon.

  I clear my throat and wait until he looks up at me. He smiles brightly as he sits up. "Are they gone?"

  I nod my head and just watch him. I'm not sure what he's playing at but I can't decide whether I want to take the time to find out. He's watching me closely so I keep my face impassive. It's a trait that I've learned over the years.

  "Thank god!" he says. I jump with his exclamation, not expecting it, which draws a smile to his face. "Please tell me you didn't think that I was buying that load of bull shit he's throwing around! I can smell the lies from a mile away. I'm not sure why he's being so nice to me so I've decided I'm gonna find out. And what better way than acting oblivious."

  With that, he jumps up and heads towards me. He reaches his hand out and I can't help the flinch. He notices and drops his hand. I ignore the look on his face and turn around, heading for the door. Silently, he follows and I wonder what's going thru his mind. I don't have to wait too long.

  Once we are out the door, he turns towards me. "You didn't really think that I believed anything that comes out of either of their mouths, did you?"

  Chewing on my lip, I shrug. "It wouldn't be the first time. No one has ever believed me because they put up a good front. I wouldn't hold it against you if you did."

  His look stops me in my tracks as he starts talking. "I can tell when someone is being truthful and when they're not. You have been truthful with everything you've said. Them, not so much. I need to find a way to get ahold of my Uncle quickly. I can't stay here for very long." We start walking and he blows out his breath. "There's a lot that I can't tell you about right now, but know this, I will not be leaving without you. I will not leave you here to live like that. And I think my Uncle will approve. I just have to get ahold of him." He so frustrated that it sounds like he growls. He's so serious that I can't hold the laugh in, which makes him stop in his tracks.

  "If you want help, I think I can do that. What information do you have on your Uncle? We have a library in town that we might be able to find so
mething or we can use the computer at the gym. I don't expect you to take me with you, though. I've been taking care of myself this whole time and those bastards can't really do anything to me. I do have my secrets too." I smile as I say it but deep down, I know that I don't want him to leave me. It's a weird feeling, especially for me because I don't depend on anyone and I never have! "I actually don't have to work today but I usually just go in anyway. It gets me out of the house."