The Single Mums' Book Club

by Victoria Cooke

  I’m bored. Jimmy away (AGAIN), kids in bed. What are you ladies doing?

  She’s doing that thing again, where she tries to put on a brave face but I’m not going to say anything on an app.

  Same. Been a week of work and chores. Saw Edward today. Lost cat. Long story.

  Ooh, anything interesting happen?

  We just talked. He’s a lovely guy.

  With Jimmy being away so much, I have to live my romantic life vicariously through the lives of others but you’re no fun. She adds a winky face.

  Anyway, what did you do today?

  Seren was at gymnastics this afternoon so I sat around there for an hour and a half.

  Oh fun!

  To be honest, the eye candy isn’t so bad. I mean, is it wrong to feel jealous of my kid being manhandled into backflips by all those fit, burly men?

  I chuckle and reach for my gin but it’s empty. I type:

  I think it’s frowned upon.

  Then add:

  How did your chat with Jimmy go?

  I know I said I wouldn’t but I don’t know when I’ll next see her and I’m conscious that we talk about me far too much.

  Fine. As expected … I’ll fill you in when I see you.

  That doesn’t sound good. As I walk back to the kitchen I type a quick reply.

  Well let’s make it soon!

  When I’m back in the lounge, it says that Amanda is typing something.

  That awful woman next door is having a party and it’s so loud I can’t hear myself think.

  By next door, she means part of her garden wall borders part of the garden wall of the neighbour’s house. Before anyone has the chance to reply, she adds:

  Would it be terrible of me to climb over the wall and help myself to a G&T from one of the handsome waiters?

  How the hell do you know the waiters are handsome? Janey replies quickly.

  I might have used the binoculars George got a few Christmases ago.

  That’s spying! I reply with a laughing emoji at the end. It’s nice to see Amanda coming out of her shell a bit.

  No, it isn’t. I’m on the neighbourhood watch committee.

  My phone is alive all night and when I finally drag myself up to brush my teeth I notice I’m smiling. I think a meaningful friendship is starting to develop between the three of us, that’s more than just a book club. It’s three people with completely different lives providing laughter and comfort for one another. Whatever happens tomorrow, these ladies will be here to help me pick up the pieces.

  Chapter 27

  Despite only having two gin and tonics (one gentle, one not so) I wake up feeling like I necked a pint of sand. I go downstairs, let Otis out and fill a glass with water before popping two Alka-Seltzers in. Once I’ve drunk that, I have a cup of tea and get dressed. The kids are due back any time now and since I haven’t heard a thing from them, I have no idea what to expect.

  When the doorbell rings, I leap to my feet and dart down the hallway.

  ‘Hey, everyone.’ I plaster a huge smile on my face.

  ‘Mummy!’ Ava hugs me as Ralph barges past and stomps up to his room. I look at Mike who gives a little shake of his head.

  ‘How was it, Ava?’ I ask, kneeling down. Mike carries Henry through to the lounge.

  ‘It was fun. Met Daddy’s new friend, Kate. She was nice.’ She’s sporting two of those chunky braids in her hair, the kind that are trendy at the minute. I can’t do them and there’s no way Mike could have.

  I ignore the fireball of bile in my stomach. ‘That’s good, sweetie. Did Kate do your hair too?’

  ‘Yes.’ She beams. ‘I want it like this every day.’

  ‘Well, it looks lovely. Can you take your bag up to your room please?’

  She bounces up the stairs and I head to where Mike is playing with Henry.

  ‘So, what happened? I’ve been worried sick.’

  ‘Everything was fine like normal. We went to the park. Ralph was chatting away about a school football match he’s got coming up and Ava was singing a song she’d learnt in assembly. Then I sat them down and told them I wanted them to meet someone. Ava was really excited but Ralph wouldn’t say a word. He hasn’t spoken since.’

  ‘Oh God, do you think he’s okay?’ I ask.

  ‘I’m sure he will be. It was a shock that’s all. Kate tried with him and we had a load of chocolate and fizzy pop in to cheer them up.’

  I tilt my head to the side. ‘I don’t think fizzy pop makes up for something like this.’

  ‘I know. I just wanted them to feel welcome.’

  Something inside me softens. ‘Fair enough. So what now?’

  ‘Kate and I had a chat and she said she doesn’t want to move in until the kids have gotten to know her better. She thinks it’s too much for them all at once.’

  I can’t believe I’m saying this. ‘She talks sense.’

  ‘Yeah, they need time to get used to her.’

  I nod. Mike stands up and takes out his car keys. ‘What’s happened to your head?’

  I raise my hand to the steri-strip. ‘Oh, that. It’s nothing. Just a bit of an altercation with a cat.’

  Mike gives a small smile. It’s actually quite nice having him care this much. He’s not the sort to wear his heart on his sleeve.

  ‘Ralph will come around you know,’ I say, softly.

  Mike purses his lips. He’s out of his comfort zone. Fun and games he can do, but feeling sad emotions, not so much. ‘I might head up and say bye to Ava … I’ll pop in and try and chat to Ralph too.’

  ‘Good idea,’ I say, scooping Henry up off the floor. He always looks like he’s grown a little when he’s been with his dad. It’s only ever a subtle change, but there’s always something about him that’s never quite the same as it was and it makes me feel sad.

  Mike comes down about five minutes later. ‘Still no joy with Ralph. I’m thinking that a new computer game might cheer him up, what do you reckon?’

  ‘I think no. Not a chance. His dad has a new girlfriend, it’s okay for him to be upset or angry and he needs time to process that. You can’t buy his acceptance, Mike. Just be there for him and give him some time.’

  Mike sighs. ‘You’re right. Maybe I could pick him up from school one night next week and take him for tea, just the two of us.’

  ‘That’s a much better idea.’ For once, I think Mike might actually be getting the hang of this dad business, ten years in.

  Chapter 28

  As I’m struggling to get the buggy down the front steps, Janey calls me from across the street.

  ‘Are you walking them today?’

  ‘Yes,’ I shout back, still struggling.

  ‘All right, I’m only here.’ She picks up the front of the buggy and grins. Only a superhuman could have crossed the road so fast. ‘What’s happened to your face?’

  I sigh. ‘Mrs Pearson’s silly cat.’

  Janey frowns but then a look of realisation crosses her face as the penny drops.

  ‘How did it go with whatsherface?’ she whispers, gesturing to the kids.

  ‘Ava seemed fine about it but Ralph is upset.’

  ‘Ahh, it’s a big change for them,’ she says sympathetically and we set off walking towards the school.

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘How about you? How are you doing?’

  I shrug. ‘As fine as I can be really. I don’t feel much as an ex-wife, more as a mother who wants to make sure her kids are okay. It’s a weird situation; trying to convince your kids that it’s okay for their dad to have a girlfriend and that they should be happy for him. The whole thing makes me a bit squeamish. It’s made me realise how I don’t want to put them through this again any time soon so dating is one hundred per cent off the table for me.’

  ‘How is that fair? Mike leaves you because he can’t cope with the pressures of having to always think of others then he meets someone first, now you can’t? Talk about having his cake and eating it.’

  ‘I know how i
t looks and he didn’t just leave because of that. We rowed a lot but listen, the Kate thing, I’m fine with it, really. I just want to make sure the kids are okay.’

  ‘So no dishy boss then?’

  ‘No.’ I roll my eyes. ‘You know he’s seeing someone anyway.’ I notice Ava running towards the road ahead. ‘Ava, stop right there. Ralph, grab her hand.’

  When I’m satisfied they’re both safe, I continue. ‘Tell me about you. I know you’ve got something going on and I feel dreadful that all the focus has been on me lately.’

  We near the road and once we’ve ensured everyone has safely reached the other side, we let the kids go on ahead before picking up the conversation. ‘I gave Jimmy the ultimatum.’

  I expected she would have, but all the deflection makes me think the outcome wasn’t what she’d hoped. ‘And?’

  She draws a deep breath.

  ‘Oh, God, Janey. I’m sorry.’

  ‘He said I was being ridiculous.’ Her voice falters so I reach out to rub the top of her arm. ‘It will be okay.’

  ‘He said he puts food on the table and a roof over our heads so we should count ourselves lucky. I stood my ground.’

  I didn’t doubt it. ‘And what? He just wasn’t prepared to try?’

  ‘In short, no. My job is to keep the house going and his is to bring the money in. In his words, we shouldn’t expect to be “going at it like teenagers anymore”.’

  ‘God. What about his needs and stuff?’

  ‘Well, it gets worse than that.’

  ‘Oh no. How?’

  ‘Mummy, Mummy?’ Ava comes running towards me. ‘Ralph told me to shut up and then he pushed me.’

  I glance at Janey and mouth: ‘I’m sorry.’ She gestures for me to go on ahead.

  ‘Do you mind if I walk with Ralph for a bit?’

  She puts her hand on mine. ‘Let me push Henry for you and I’ll watch Ava for the rest of the way. You go and talk to him, love.’

  I thank her, hand the pushchair over and speed up my pace.

  Normally, I’d be furious with him but today he has his reasons so I take a softer approach. ‘Ralph,’ I say as I get closer. He pulls the hood of his coat up and I can’t help but feel this could be an early glimpse into his teenage years.

  ‘Ralph,’ I say again but softer this time. Sadly, it’s not a tone I use on my kids often and the unusualness of it prompts him to look up. I falter. I hadn’t actually thought about what to say or how to broach the whole business with his dad. ‘Are you doing okay, darling?’

  His eyes drop back to the pavement and he shrugs. I get a pang through my core. He feels like his world has been ripped apart for a second time. I know only too well what having your family destroyed as a kid feels like but I never had anyone to talk about it with. I won’t let that be the case for Ralph.

  ‘It’s okay to be upset about your dad and Kate; angry even.’

  Silence.

  ‘You can be happy about it too. Whatever you’re feeling is normal and okay.’

  All of a sudden, he stops walking and looks at me. ‘How do you feel about it?’

  I stop walking too. That wasn’t what I was expecting. Ralph turns to me. ‘If he wanted to be with someone, why didn’t he come back to us?’

  ‘Ralph, it’s complicated. Your dad and I are friends now but we don’t want to be a couple anymore. We’ll always be glad of our marriage because we have you, Ava and Henry. We’ll always be your mum and dad and we’ll always be there for you. We just don’t get along when we live together.’

  ‘Are you sad that Dad has a girlfriend?’

  I pause. Ralph is growing up and deserves an honest answer. ‘Perhaps a little bit but it’s normal and I think it’s just a little weird for me more than anything. It will take a little bit of getting used to but as long as she treats you three with kindness, I’ll be fine.’

  ‘She did seem kind,’ he says, kicking at a stone.

  ‘Good. Ava seemed to like her and Henry doesn’t understand what’s going on so it’s just you that I’m worried about.’

  He looks up at me with the big blue eyes that I adore. ‘I’m fine … if you are.’

  ‘I’m more than fine. I’m actually really happy. I’ve got my book club now and two new friends, plus I love my job.’

  ‘Okay, Mum.’ With that, he runs back to catch up with Janey’s son Tom.

  ‘He’s brightened up,’ Janey says as she approaches me.

  ‘Yeah. I think he was worried about me more than anything else.’

  ‘Oh, that’s sweet. I doubt Tom would give a monkey’s about me if I were in your position. He’d just be panicking about who buys the Xbox games.’

  I laugh softly. ‘I didn’t expect it from Ralph to be fair. Maybe he’s hankering after an Xbox game.’

  After we drop the children off, I take Henry to the childminder and head to work.

  ‘No Mrs Pearson today?’ I joke to Carly as it’s usually a Monday when Ruby starts to feel unwell, hence Edward’s Yorkshire pudding dig a few weeks ago.

  ‘No, perhaps she’s actually sticking to cat food. We’ve got a snake in later though.’ She shudders.

  ‘Not a fan?’ I ask and she shakes her head dramatically.

  I head to the small kitchen to put the kettle on and the door chime tinkles, followed by a loud and cheerful female voice.

  ‘Where is he then, the handsome devil?’ I presume she’s talking about Edward and to my shame, I take a step closer to the door and strain my ears.

  ‘Oh, he’s such a hardworking man. Such old-fashioned values.’ The voice coos. Carly must reply in a way that’s not audible to me; I imagine her glancing up from her computer wearily and nodding.

  The kettle boils and I have no choice but to move away from the door and finish my tea. As I leave the kitchen, the chatter continues and when I near the waiting-room door, I recognise the voice. Stacy. She’s talking about some celebrity who was pictured in a magazine flashing her bum as she got out of a car at some red-carpet event. I pity the celebrity whoever she is. A woman should be able to get out of a car without a photograph ending up splashed over the front page of some glossy magazine. I step into the doorway and glance at Carly who rolls her eyes while Stacy dips into her bag for something. In the time it takes for me to reach my desk, she’s moved on from bum-flashing to this week’s Britain’s Got Talent.

  As she talks I notice it’s not a bag in her lap, it’s a white fluffy rabbit wearing a pink harness and lead, and for a moment I contemplate buying one for Henry now he’s on the move.

  ‘I think we met at the weekend,’ I say, to halt her incessant nattering more than anything else.

  She crumples her face in thought. ‘Oh yes. You were looking for that lady’s cat. Did you find it?’

  ‘Yes, eventually.’

  ‘Is that how you hurt your head?’

  I wish people would stop asking me about that. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Bloody cats. I had one once …’

  Then she’s off again regaling us with tales of her sofa-scratching cat that eventually vanished. I can’t help wondering if it ran away in desperate hope of some peace and quiet.

  The examination-room door opens and she finally stops talking. My ears have a faint ring in them.

  ‘Ms Dalton.’ Edward smiles as Stacy jumps to her feet and almost runs over to him.

  ‘You don’t have to be all formal wi’ me, mister.’ She stuffs the rabbit under one arm and pats his chest firmly with her free hand. She reminds me of one of those kids’ bubble machines just pop, pop, popping an endless assault of words, fluffiness and pink. Edward stands there for a moment, shell-shocked before ushering her into the examination room.

  ‘That poor rabbit,’ Carly says but my thoughts are more along the lines of poor Edward.

  ‘What’s up with it?’

  ‘Oh, nothing probably. I just mean having to wear that awful rabbit-shaming harness and being constantly bothered by that woman.’

  I stifle a gi
ggle. As I return to my tea and work, I am a bit ashamed of myself. I’ve taken a dislike to Stacy even though she’s very sweet and I doubt she has a bad word to say about anyone. It’s irrational to dislike someone who is, for all intents and purposes, quite lovely and well meaning. She’s full-on, I concede eventually, and I’m allowed to be irritated by that. It has nothing to do with her relationship with Edward and I’m not at all jealous – I’m an adult with no time to befriend the green-eyed monster. That being said, when the door swings back open, my eyes dart to look at it.

  ‘So, I don’t think Snuggles is depressed. Just give her plenty of time outside and some of her favourite fresh carrots and I’m sure she’ll perk up a bit.’

  ‘So she doesn’t need a companion?’ She winks animatedly.

  ‘I think she’ll be fine,’ Edward says, standing up straighter.

  ‘You know us girls love a man around.’ She tugs Edward’s tie with so much force, his head jolts forward enough that she can plant a big smacker of a kiss right on his lips.

  With that, she giggles and walks towards the door and Edward vanishes back into the examination room.

  Now I’m shell-shocked. There’s obviously a lot more going on there than a few drinks at the pub but why would Edward be so guarded about it?

  When I glance at my screen, her account is open. ‘She left without paying.’

  ‘Special privileges,’ Carly says drily.

  ‘Really? Does Edward know?’

  Carly shrugs.

  ‘If Edward offered her a discount, it would be on the system. Crookney Farm has a ten per cent discount applied – Edward told me about it when I set the accounts up. It’s something to do with honouring a long-standing agreement his father made with the farm owner. If Stacy has a discount, even one hundred per cent, he’d have said because it would need to be applied to her account.’

  Carly starts filing her nails. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen her pay. Just assumed—’