Cowboy Kind of Reckless

by Becca Turner

  “I’ll be okay. I’ve had worse, honestly.” He leaned toward her, then slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Don’t make that face. You look like Will and it’s creeping me out.”

  She shrugged off his arm, started the truck, ignoring him, and pulled out of the parking lot.

  “Say something, Jody.”

  Her mouth pinched.

  “Hey—”

  “This is the exact reason I don’t want to get involved with anyone. People get hurt or they end up miserable. It’s not worth the trouble. I thought you needed to get Tiffany off your mind, but all I did was create a problem by trying to help. Stupid.” Her jaw tightened when she finished.

  He sighed. “Couldn’t you give me a chance?”

  “Everything ends. It doesn’t have to be a painful goodbye if there’s nothing past hello.”

  Her voice came out flat, almost mechanical. The anger on her face dulled to something unreadable.

  Nolan lowered the ice from his face. “Who the hell told you an ignorant thing like that?”

  She glanced at him, cringed, then turned her gaze back to the road. “It was a hard lesson learned.”

  “It’s a lousy lesson no one should be forced to learn.” He shook his head. “I don’t agree with it. There doesn’t need to be a goodbye. You’re here, I’m here. We’re good together. So what if Tiffany left me? So what if you have issues you don’t want to talk about? Let’s enjoy what we do have.”

  “There’s always a goodbye,” she muttered.

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  The sun had broken through the clouds and glared through her windshield. She squinted into it and it made her features seem harder than ever. No, not only hard, but tired. “Nothing. I am leaving soon. You don’t need another heartbreak. Nip it before you get a sense of loss.”

  Her words contained a finality that scared him a little. “You could always come back. Or we could meet up somewhere.”

  The brittle smile she offered reminded him of a lifeless porcelain doll.

  “There aren’t enough frequent flier miles in the world.”

  Lost by the conversation, he shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s nothing I want to talk about. I’m sorry about what happened at the bar. I hope it doesn’t bruise too badly. Be careful going home.” She whipped the truck into the community center parking lot next to his. “And good luck at the rodeo this weekend.”

  “So you’re dumping me?” It stung more than he’d expected.

  She chewed on her thumbnail. “We’re not a couple. This isn’t a breakup.”

  Anger pulsed through him. “We could’ve been if—”

  “Not in a million years. Sorry to burst your bubble, Locke. It was never going to happen. I told you that from the beginning. Made myself as transparent as possible.”

  She wouldn’t look at him.

  “That’s the thing. You’ve got muddy water up to your eyeballs. There’s nothing clear about who you are or what you want or why you act like you’re growing cactus thorns. You’re right. I’m wasting my time trying to get involved with you.” He opened the door and stepped out. “You should wear a warning label.”

  Her knuckles whitened on the steering wheel and her shoulders tensed. “Have a nice evening, Nolan.”

  Said in such a way, it sounded more like go to hell.

  She gunned the engine before he had the door shut and peeled out of the parking lot in front of another car. The other driver blared his horn, but Jody was already speeding down the road.

  Chapter Ten

  Jody collapsed into one of the Adirondack chairs on Will’s front porch. His dog, Chester, wagged his whole body as he bounded up. She ran her hand over his soft head when he rested it on her knee.

  The front door opened, followed by the screen door, and Will rolled through to the porch. “Well, well. The prodigal daughter returns.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him and drew her knees up before wrapping her arms around them. “I just need a place to think. If this is okay.”

  “Why not?” He rolled over to the end of the porch, folded his hands together in his lap, and stared out at the pastures.

  She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see him, even though Chester nudged her hand with his cold nose for more attention. She sat still while the hot breeze lifted her hair and the cicadas buzzed around them ceaselessly.

  But every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was the hurt and anger on Nolan’s face. She hadn’t slept last night, not even her usual two hours, because their conversation—fight, really—played like a bad record in her mind. At five-thirty this morning, she’d given up on sleep, dragged herself to the shower and sat on the floor under the hot spray for half an hour. Three cups of black coffee only unsettled her stomach and burned at the back of her throat.

  Will’s cell phone rang, shattering her hope for peace.

  “Hello?” His voice came out wary.

  Jody opened her eyes. His gaze was on her, mouth turned down a fraction.

  “Really.”

  She couldn’t tell whether the caller was male or female, but whatever the person had to say was lengthy. She pulled her gaze away from Will, who was nodding along with the conversation.

  Jody rose.

  He made a motion for her to sit, then held up one finger for her to wait.

  She sank into the chair again and rubbed Chester’s head and neck.

  “I can’t say I know anything about it. You’d have to ask her. Sorry I can’t be more help. Take care of yourself.” Her brother ended the call, then stared at her, eyes sharp, mouth grim.

  “Who was that?” As though she cared. Coming here had been a stupid idea. He was usually home and with Will’s stormy expression, she wouldn’t be able to seek the peace she’d wanted.

  “What’s up?” He planted his elbows on the arm rests and leaned forward. “What are you doing here?”

  She choked back the sharp curse she wanted to throw at him and settled for a sarcastic remark. “I can’t visit my big brother?”

  “Not what I meant. What are you doing here?” He twirled his finger, apparently encompassing the town as well as the ranch.

  She lowered her gaze to Chester, who smiled happily at her attention. “There was nothing left for me in Stillwater. Not that I think there’s anything here either.”

  “You want something from us or maybe just me. Why don’t we get it out in the open?” He squared his shoulders. “Is it money?”

  “No!” Her face heated. “I’m not after…that.”

  “Enlighten me.”

  For a man in a wheelchair, he made an imposing figure.

  She raised her chin and stared him down. “Who called?”

  “Peach. Said you didn’t show up for work today. She’s worried, because that’s not like you.”

  “She doesn’t know me.”

  “None of us do. That’s what’s so damned annoying about you. You give an inch, then step back a mile. What can I do to earn your trust?” Some of the steel went out of his voice. “I know I’m not the easiest guy to talk to, but give me a clue, sis.”

  She squeezed her hands together. “I need you to do something for me.”

  “Okay,” he answered slowly.

  “If…if something happened to me, I need someone to look out for Splash. I was thinking about it the other day after talking to Dusty, and he’d make a really good horse for her.” God, it hurt to say those words. Worse than any physical pain.

  Will studied her face, silent as a cougar stalking prey.

  “I, um, I have some money to look after him with. I wouldn’t just saddle Luke with another horse to feed. At least, not for a while. The money will run out sometime. But the joy Splash could bring her would be more than worth the food he’d eat. Isn’t that the point of having a horse?” She gave a shaky laugh, before she pushed out a breath. “I need to know he’s going to be taken care of. If he ended up at a slaughterhouse… I can’t even think about
it. It makes me sick.”

  What if he did anyway? Scared and alone without a clue that people meant to hurt him. She shuddered.

  Will seemed to be waiting.

  What else to say to him? Nothing came to her, so she waited for him to promise to tell Luke or offer to look after Splash himself.

  Nothing.

  “Will, this is getting weird.” She tried to soften her words with a smile, but couldn’t force it. “Could you maybe acknowledge that I told you all that?”

  “What’s wrong?” The hardness came back into his voice.

  “Noth—”

  “Don’t finish that. I’m the king of ‘I’m fine’. I know bullshit when I’m wading through it. Figuratively.”

  Sweat beaded on her brow and her shirt stuck like a second skin. “I’ll ask Luke myself, then.” Only for Splash’s sake.

  “You think he won’t give you the third degree?”

  She shifted, uncomfortable, because he would. “I said if something happens. That horse has been more like family to me than Dad ever was.”

  His sharp gaze refused to waver. “What kind of something? Is someone looking for you?”

  “What are you going to do? Kick someone’s ass for me?” She rolled her eyes. “It’s not that. I swear.”

  He continued to stare, silent as stone.

  “I don’t like it when you do that.” Her dad’s gaze had never been so intense. He’d never cared who she went with or how much trouble she got in. Or about anything that worried her. Having a concerned brother made her uneasy. She pulled her shirt collar away from her neck.

  A blue SUV rolled up the driveway. Jessi’s. She probably had Bear with her.

  “I should go.” She rose. “Sorry to disturb you.”

  “You could stay for supper.”

  “Why? So you can keep grilling me? So Jessi can get in on the fun?” She scowled at him. “No thanks.”

  His face went blank for a moment, then his brows drew together. “You sick?”

  Her throat tightened. “Of course not. I don’t know why you’d think that.”

  “Because something’s going on and you look like hell.”

  “Gotta love a compliment.” She turned away from him. “Thanks for the chat. Fun, as always.”

  “You call Peach. Tell her you didn’t feel good today. A quick stomach bug. Don’t leave her in the lurch again. She deserves better.”

  “Sure, Dad. Will do.”

  She wiped her sweaty brow with the back of her hand as she walked down the ramp to the driveway.

  Bear jumped out of the SUV and raced toward her. “Aunt Jody!”

  She stepped back when he ran into her, then threw his arms around her waist. “Hey, kiddo.”

  Jessi pulled a bag of groceries from the SUV, gave Jody a smile, and mouthed, “Sorry.”

  Bear gazed up at her with ruddy cheeks and round eyes. “It’s gonna be so fun!”

  “What is? You’d better tell me what it is before I explode with excitement.” She grinned at him, even though she couldn’t share his enthusiasm. It came out forced, but for his sake, she tried. “What? What? What?”

  “My birthday party.” He let go of her and bounced up and down. “You gotta come. Please? We’re getting’ a bouncy castle. And balloons and cake and water sprinklers too.”

  “No way. Not a bouncy castle.” She pressed her hands to the sides of her face in mock surprise. “That’s too cool.”

  “You’re comin’ to see it, right? You can get in it too. Please? Please will you?”

  She skirted the question by meeting Jessi’s teal gaze. “Oh, man. I’m so jealous. Your mom and dad are the best.”

  “It’s gonna be the funnest birthday party ever. Mama makes the cake and she makes cupcakes too. And she lets me eat ‘em till I feel like I’m gonna explode.” He threw his arms out wide. “Boom!”

  “That sounds unbelievable.” Jody stuffed her hands into her pockets. “It’s great, Bear. I’m happy for you.”

  Her dad had never sprung for any kind of party. If he remembered her birthday, sometimes he’d get her clothes or a pair of shoes—usually the wrong size—at the closest thrift store. The kids she went to school with laughed at her too big shoes or her ill-fitting wardrobe. She’d never been invited to another kid’s birthday party.

  You have no idea how lucky you are. One more reason to admire Will. He’d risen well above the sucky upbringing they’d endured.

  “You gotta come.” He tugged at her hand. “Pretty please with relish on top?”

  “Relish?” Jody wrinkled her nose.

  “Hot dogs are his favorite food.” Jessi patted her son’s shoulder. “We’d love to have you. He’s been waiting to tell you about it for a couple of days.”

  “I can’t.” She struggled to think of a reason. “I’ve probably got work.”

  “Why?” Bear peered at her. “You can skip work. I’m gonna miss you if you don’t come.”

  He barely knew her. Probably the excitement of the promised bouncy castle and sugar were what really drove him to begging. “I’ll try. That’s the best I can do right now. I really want to.” The lie sounded hollow to her. “Even if I can’t make it, I know you’re going to have the best time.”

  “Yeah, but you gotta try hard to get here. Tell your work it’s ‘portant.”

  “Of course it is. My nephew only turns four once.” The part of her heart that wasn’t covered in calluses wished she’d known about him sooner. That she’d gotten to know him as a baby and watch him grow up. The hardened part knew it was unlikely she’d have the opportunity.

  “Here, baby. Take these groceries and help your dad put them away.” Jessi held the sack out to her son. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Bear took the sack, but frowned. “I wanna stay with Aunt Jody.”

  “And I want to take a cruise, but your dad says it ain’t happening.” Jessi gave him a nudge. “Go on or you’ll get coal for your birthday instead of a bouncy castle.”

  “Coal’s for Christmas.” Bear shook his head. His expression said his mother should know that. He grunted with the effort of holding up the groceries, then waddled toward the house.

  “You’re good with him,” Jessi said when he was out of earshot. “And he adores you.”

  “I’m kind of fond of him too.” Jody pinched her pendant between her thumb and forefinger. “I gotta go, Jess. And I doubt I can make the party. Peach will probably be pissed at me.”

  “Why?”

  “I kind of didn’t call to tell her I wasn’t coming in today. Coy was probably livid.” The ranch manager was usually fair, but he could be gruff, and he expected all the employees to carry their fair share of the work. Something she normally did. Her absence meant someone else had double the chores today.

  “Why did you blow off work? I thought you liked it.” Jessi leaned on the car fender. “You look really tired. Was that it?”

  If it was only so simple. “Between you and Will, I’m going to get a complex. I guess I’ll go home and throw some bath salts in the tub, put on a face mask, and deep condition my hair. Geez. Maybe if I have time, I can paint my nails.”

  Jessi laughed. “You want to be abrasive, but it ends up being funny. Want to stay for supper? We’re having spaghetti and meatballs.”

  “The dish that won the West.” Jody shook her head. “Thanks, but I have to go.”

  “You’re always running off.” Jessi’s mouth twisted wistfully. “I wish you’d stay.”

  “Maybe next time.” As if.

  “You keep saying that.” Jessi reached forward and gave Jody a hug. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

  Awkward with the affection, Jody patted Jessi’s back for a few seconds, then pulled away. Unexpected pain in her chest made her wince, but she covered it with a quick smile. “Will do. See you, Jess.”

  Tears blurred her vision as she turned to her truck. Maybe it was already too late and this family would miss her when she was gone. I shouldn’t have come. Not now
, not the first time when she’d given Will their father’s death certificate.

  Curiosity killed the cat… but nothing could bring him back.

  Chapter Eleven

  Nolan turned Bourbon for the temporary stabling while he smothered a string of curse words that longed to break free. Second place. Freakin’ second because Austin had cost them a second and a half fumbling with his rope.

  “I wanted to be sure I could rope him. Second is better than last. We got the points we need. Be thankful for that.” Austin offered a tentative smile. “Let’s grab some supper and—”

  “All week long you harped at me because I was throwing like a greenhorn.” Nolan jabbed his finger at his brother. “You hesitated and it cost us. This wasn’t practice.”

  “The points are all that matter,” Austin argued.

  “And Salty Hamilton and that damned Tom Milligan are ahead of us now. We came out here to win.”

  Austin’s face darkened with anger. “If I’d thrown it any sooner, it would’ve missed. You think I don’t know what I’m doing?”

  “Casey could’ve made a better throw.”

  “Don’t bring her into this. You’ve had something stuck up your ass since we left. Hell, for a week. Whatever you’re mad about doesn’t have anything to do with what I did. Get a handle on it, Nolan.” Austin nudged Jacko’s ribs and the gelding broke into a trot, leaving Nolan and Bourbon behind.

  Nolan clenched his jaw. If he had to spend one more second with his idiot little brother, he’d probably pummel Austin just for being a smartass. No way he could tolerate any more snark right now.

  Instead of following Austin to the stables, he turned Bourbon toward the arena again. Had Austin asked what was the matter, Nolan might’ve told him. Instead, Austin chose to pretend Nolan wasn’t a volcano waiting to explode. All the way to Utah, one thing had been on his mind: Jody.

  His parting shot hadn’t been kind. She must think him a total jerk. Almost as bad as Billy Wishall, but instead of using his hands, he used his words to strike out at her. He’d rarely ever exchanged hateful words with an ex. Even though Jody didn’t qualify because she wouldn’t let him get close.