Circle of Doubt

by Buchanan, Tracy

  Emma wracked her brains. ‘I – I didn’t say anything.’

  ‘You suggested a drink, just the two of you one evening.’

  ‘I said nothing of the sort! Is that what Shawn said?’ She wracked her brains again. Could he have misinterpreted something she had said?

  ‘He didn’t need to,’ Faye said. ‘Someone overheard you.’

  Someone? Emma thought. Was this yet another rumour?

  She looked over towards Tatjana, who was watching from the edge of the forest with interest.

  ‘And Shawn confirmed it, did he?’ Emma asked, crossing her arms.

  Faye didn’t say anything, just clenched her jaw.

  ‘I swear to you,’ Emma said. ‘I have no interest in your husband. Somebody is trying to mess with you.’

  ‘So you’re denying you told people that you fancy Shawn?’ Faye asked. ‘Or, as you put it, Forest Grove’s Tom Hardy.’

  Tom Hardy . . .

  Memories of the afternoon she’d spent with Tatjana came rushing back. They’d discussed how Shawn looked like the actor Tom Hardy. In fact, Emma was pretty sure it was Tatjana who had made the comparison.

  That was it – Tatjana must have been behind all these attempts to discredit her!

  A car horn beeped and Emma looked up to see that she and Faye were blocking the road.

  ‘Nice place to have a chat, ladies,’ a familiar-looking woman shouted out from her Mercedes. Emma’s stomach sank when she realised it was Kitty Fletcher, the ‘parenting guru’.

  ‘Just keep your hands off him, okay?’ Faye said, jabbing a finger at Emma. Then she stalked away towards her car.

  Emma stayed where she was, stunned, the mums around her whispering as they passed by.

  Then Emma noticed Tatjana was still watching her in the distance.

  Anger swelled up inside her.

  She marched over to Tatjana. ‘Tatjana, can I have a word?’

  Tatjana smiled. ‘Of course.’

  ‘I’ve been hearing some strange rumours lately.’

  A frown appeared in Tatjana’s perfect forehead. ‘Like what?’

  ‘That I think all working mums are lazy. Plus Faye just accused me of fancying Shawn, for God’s sake. She said I think he looks like Tom Hardy. The very thing you and I talked about during lunch that time!’

  ‘I don’t understand what you’re saying, Emma.’

  ‘It can’t be a coincidence that all these rumours relate to the conversations we had that lunchtime?’

  Tatjana shot Emma an incredulous look. ‘You think I passed what was said on to others?’

  ‘I – I don’t know. I just can’t explain any other reason for it.’

  ‘Well, you have the wrong end of the stick, Emma. I’m not the type to get involved with tittle-tattle – and, frankly, I’m disappointed you’d think that of me.’ Tatjana shook her head, then grabbed Phoenix’s hand and stormed off towards the forest.

  Emma watched her, unsure what to think. Tatjana did seem pretty upset at the idea that Emma thought she was behind the rumours. Upset and surprised. But then she could be faking it. Hadn’t Faye said Tatjana was a fake? And then there was Emma’s gut feeling.

  A mother’s intuition is pretty strong, Emma. That was what Harriet had said.

  But intuition wasn’t enough. She needed proof – proper proof.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Welcome to the Mums of Forest Grove Facebook Group

  Friday 16th October

  9 a.m.

  Belinda Bell

  Can I please ask the school mums to refrain from arguing right outside my house?

  Kitty Fletcher

  And blocking the road! They were standing right in the middle of it! I had to beep them to get out of the way.

  Ellie Mileham

  What happened? I didn’t see anything.

  Belinda Bell

  Two mums were having a bit of a to-do outside the school just now. It’s not what I want to be seeing over my morning coffee.

  Malorie Cane

  Yes, I saw that too and what a surprise, one of the women arguing was the very same woman who blocked our new neighbour’s removal van at the beginning of term. I won’t say her name on here.

  Myra Young

  I’ll say it! She’s not a member here and it’s a closed group. It’s Emma Okoro and she’s been trying to get her hands on one of the other dads, that’s what the argument was about.

  Pauline Sharpe

  Wow! I could tell that woman would be trouble the moment I laid eyes on her.

  Vanessa Shillingford

  Rubbish! Emma is my neighbour, she’s absolutely lovely! This is just conjecture, surely? Kitty, can this thread be taken down? It’s none of our business after all.

  Belinda Bell

  She makes it our business when she’s disturbing the peace on our street and is tearing a family apart! It’s always the quiet ones. They come across all unassuming and meek, but truth is, they’re keeping it all bottled up inside and when it comes out, they explode.

  Ellie Mileham

  Vanessa is right, this is ridiculous! Please can we close this thread, Kitty?

  Kitty Fletcher

  I am reluctantly deleting this thread. But before I do, I have to confess, I’ve had my own suspicions about this woman too. Remember when I mentioned about someone doctoring a MySpace page? It turns out it’s more than likely the very same woman. There, I’ve said it. Now I’m going to delete this thread.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Friday 16th October

  9.25 a.m.

  Emma was still shaking when she got into work. She’d tried calling Dele from the car, but he hadn’t picked up. She just hoped he didn’t hear any rumours before she had a chance to talk to him. She tried his number again, but it went straight to voicemail so she left a quick message. Then she put her phone down and tried to focus on work, but she kept getting flashbacks to that humiliating argument with Faye.

  To be fair to Faye, if she really thought Emma was after Shawn, she had every right to have a word. But based on a few rumours? Surely Shawn had tried to tell her it was rubbish? Or maybe he’d completely misinterpreted Emma’s friendliness for something else?

  As for Tatjana, if she was lying, what the hell was she playing at?

  Could it really be that she was Isla’s birth mother? That was crazy – a crazy idea. She knew she had to try and calm herself down.

  After an hour, Dele called her back.

  ‘Hi babe,’ she said, rushing into a meeting room and shutting the door behind her.

  ‘Everything okay?’ he asked. ‘I’ve had missed calls from Shawn, too. Is something happening at the school? Is Isla okay?’

  ‘Nothing to worry about, Isla’s fine,’ Emma quickly said. She took in a deep breath. ‘It’s just Faye. She’s – well – she’s got it into her head that I have a thing for Shawn.’

  ‘What?’ Dele said, incredulous.

  ‘I know, it’s crazy. The weird thing is, Faye said I referred to Shawn as the Tom Hardy of Forest Grove. But it was Tatjana who said that to me!’

  ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘That she’s behind the rumour,’ she said, flinching as she said it. She knew how Dele would react.

  ‘You know how ridiculous this all sounds, Emma?’

  ‘Exactly. It is ridiculous!’ Emma shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. ‘I just wanted you to know before you heard it from anyone else. You know you don’t have anything to worry about, right?’

  ‘Course. I better call Shawn back. This is going to be awkward. But look babe, don’t blame this all on Tatjana – not until you have proof.’

  She took in a deep shaky breath. ‘I won’t. Text me to tell me what Shawn says. And – and tell him he needs to talk some sense into Faye. I really like Faye and I hate the fact she thinks I’ve betrayed her.’

  ‘Will do.’

  Twenty minutes later, she got a text from Dele.

  Shawn agrees rumours are ridiculou
s. He said he was hardly listening to Faye when she asked something about you and him getting drinks, he just sort of nodded as he thought she meant all of us and she just lost it. He’s calmed her down, think he’s convinced her. Now you just need to convince me . . .

  Emma quickly typed back:

  Dele! You know I’d never cheat on you! xxxx

  You better prove your love to me tonight then. ;-) ;-) ;-)

  She rolled her eyes. Well, at least she knew he wasn’t taking the rumours seriously. She just wished he’d take her concerns about Tatjana seriously!

  She put her phone to her ear again, desperate to speak to her sister.

  ‘Jesus, what the hell is she playing at?’ Harriet said when Emma had finished telling her what had just happened. ‘Messing with your marriage?’

  ‘I know, she’s taking it too far.’

  ‘There’s only one reason she’d be doing this, Em.’

  ‘She’s Isla’s birth mother?’

  ‘Yeah. Why don’t you call the social worker you were assigned during the adoption process? Maybe she can put your mind at rest?’

  ‘I wouldn’t call her . . . but there is a post-adoption number they gave us.’

  ‘There you go! Give it a call, sis.’

  Emma thought about it, then nodded. ‘Okay, I’ll call. Thanks, Harriet.’

  ‘That’s what I’m here for.’

  Emma scrolled through her emails to find the number she thought she’d never need to call. It had been given to them after they adopted Isla in case they needed advice or to check anything.

  Well, now she needed to check something.

  She called the number and after a few rings, a woman answered. ‘Hello, Pam speaking.’

  ‘Hi Pam, it’s Emma Okoro. We adopted a little girl eight years ago, Isla.’

  ‘Hello Emma, how’s everything going?’

  ‘Everything’s just great. Isla’s – well, she’s wonderful. The best thing that ever happened to us.’

  ‘Now this is the kind of call I like to get!’ Pam said with a laugh.

  Emma scratched at a dent in the meeting-room table. ‘I just wanted to ask a question that’s going to sound nuts, but I just need you to hear me out.’

  ‘Of course,’ Pam said. ‘Fire away.’

  ‘Do you keep track of birth parents?’

  ‘As you know, we offer a letterbox option where birth parents can check in on how their biological child is doing,’ Pam replied. ‘Birth parents are required to come to the offices to collect their letters and photos now, so that’s the main way we keep in touch. Are you asking if we’ve kept track of Isla’s birth parents, Emma?’

  ‘Yes, her birth mother, Jade Dixon. But we were told a few years ago that she doesn’t come to see the letters and photos we send?’

  ‘I see. Well, I’m afraid that’s the only way we keep contact really. More often than not, we do lose track with birth parents. It’s sadly just the nature of the unstable lives they lead.’

  ‘I see. Is there any way you could just double-check your records for Isla’s birth mother, see if there’s been any recent attempts at contact?’

  ‘Can I ask why you want to know, Emma?’

  Emma peered out of the window in the direction of Forest Grove. She could just about make out its trees in the distance and the blip of red indicating where the crane was. ‘A woman has moved into our village and she looks just like Jade.’

  Pam sighed. ‘We get this a lot, Emma. You’d be surprised at the number of people who look alike and yet have no connection to each other.’

  ‘It’s not just that. Since she moved in, lots of stuff has happened.’ She told the social worker about the rumours, the missing letter . . . and most recently, the fake email.

  ‘Hmmm, that can’t be very nice for you,’ Pam said when she finished. ‘I’m sure it’s nothing, but let me just do a quick check.’ There was a sound of tapping in the background. ‘Okay, Jade Dixon. Right, here she is.’ Pam sighed again. ‘Yes, seems we have lost track of her. As I said, this is very common. Why don’t you tell me more about the woman who’s moved into the village?’

  Emma raked her fingers through her hair. ‘Her name’s Tatjana Belafonte. It seems – if she is Jade – she’s really turned her life around. She’s a fashion designer now and she’s married to an architect. They’ve built a huge house in the woods and—’

  ‘Whoa, wait a minute,’ Pam interrupted with a small laugh. ‘That’s quite a leap, Emma. From a drug addict with violent criminals for boyfriends – as I can see from her records – to a fashion designer with an architect husband? You realise how unlikely that is, don’t you?’

  ‘It does happen.’

  ‘Sure, but it’s rare. Look, I’ll make a note to do a little digging to try to track Jade down, just to put your mind at rest. How does that sound?’

  ‘That would be great, thanks.’

  ‘But try not to worry. It would be very unlikely, considering what you’ve told me about this woman. Focus on enjoying your beautiful girl.’

  ‘I will,’ Emma said. As long as Tatjana lets me. ‘Sorry for taking up your time.’

  ‘Hey, don’t apologise. It’s very normal at this stage, you know,’ Pam said. ‘Nearly ten years down the line, everything’s going well, so you’re waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath you. You’d be surprised at the number of parents I have getting in touch around this time.’

  But did those parents have someone who looked just like their child’s birth mother messing with them?

  ‘Thanks,’ Emma said. ‘I appreciate it.’

  She ended the call. Even with Pam’s reassurances, she was still convinced her instincts were right about Tatjana. In fact, having it confirmed that Jade had disappeared off the map made her even more certain. From the training that she and Dele had had when they were going through the adoption process, they learnt that many birth parents went on to have other children and continued, sadly, to be known to social services. How could Jade have just dropped off the radar?

  She sighed and walked back out of the meeting room.

  It was Emma’s turn to leave the office early that evening. She approached Forest Grove Primary with trepidation. She had no doubt other parents would have seen Faye haranguing her . . . and there was every chance she would see Faye or Shawn in the playground, too. Not to mention Tatjana. Thank God it was half-term next week.

  When she got to the school playground, the first person she saw was Lawrence.

  For a moment, Emma thought about telling him her suspicions about Tatjana. But he was Tatjana’s husband – and what’s more, he was her client!

  Surely Tatjana must have told Lawrence about her run-in with Emma, so Emma tried to avoid him by heading to the other end of the playground.

  But it was too late. He’d seen her and was striding over, his hands in his pockets.

  ‘Hello, Emma, how are you?’ he asked. ‘Tat has a cold, so I’m doing the school run today.’

  She explored his face for any indication that he knew about her row with Tatjana. There was nothing. ‘Poor thing,’ she said. ‘I’m fine. How’s the house?’

  ‘Very nearly done. We’ll see you at the Halloween party in a couple of weeks, I hope?’ he asked. ‘I think everything will be pretty much ready for it.’

  Emma hesitated. How could she be a guest in their house when she knew Tatjana was trying to undermine her?

  She was about to make an excuse, but stopped herself.

  Maybe it would be useful to go? She could do some snooping. If Tatjana was Jade, then surely there’d be some evidence of it in the house?

  ‘Absolutely,’ she said. ‘We can’t wait!’

  Chapter Twenty

  Saturday 17th October

  12 p.m.

  I have to admit, Isla, your fake mother is surprising me. Garrett just called to tell me his source informed him that Emma called social services yesterday. Clearly, she has some suspicions.

  Truth is, I’ve unde
restimated her. It’s not just the call she made to social services, it’s the way she’s got you back on that trip, too, which surprised me. The school is rather strict about missing deadlines and yet a few days later, I learn she somehow managed it.

  Of course, ultimately, that’s good for you, Isla. I didn’t mean to upset you – it was rather horrible seeing you so upset at dinner the other night when you learnt the deadline had been missed. But then I also admired the way you shouted at your useless fake mother!

  In fact, she was a little too confident at that dinner. Getting Lucy invited was meant to unsettle her! But Lucy just seemed to go into herself and Emma got more and more confident.

  It unnerved me so much, I ended up drinking. I don’t like it when I do that. I have a tendency to lose control when I drink, as I’ve learnt to my detriment and to others’, too.

  When Emma was in the restaurant’s bathroom alone, I was tempted to have it all over and done with. Get her out of your life.

  But then I heard the tinkle of your laughter and it reminded me: no matter what happens, you will not think badly of me, not like the way I felt about my parents. It’s always been my rule: no matter how tough things get, no matter how the buzzing in my head begins to feel like a needle wheedling its way into my skull, never ever must I lose control in front of my children.

  If I do have to resort to drastic measures, then it will be done without you there to witness it, my love, so don’t worry about that.

  All you need to know is I will make sure you’re mine, no matter what it takes. And I’m hoping what I have planned for Halloween will send your pretend parents right over the edge . . .

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Saturday 31st October

  7.25 p.m.

  Emma positioned the long white-haired wig on her head, checking her make-up in the mirror. She was going as Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones to the Belafontes’ Halloween party. It was her sister who had come up with the idea.

  ‘Badass Mother of Dragons,’ Harriet had said.

  It was easy enough to put together. Emma had a long black dress and black boots. All she needed was a dark-red cape and a black scarf criss-crossed over her chest to turn it into a war-like costume. The wig was an easy find from a fancy-dress shop in Ashbridge that morning and there wasn’t much to think about when it came to the make-up: just some bronzer, eyeliner and nude lipstick.