Circle of Doubt

by Buchanan, Tracy

  As she looked in the mirror in her full outfit, she actually felt as if she was going to war, a warrior about to battle for her child.

  ‘You look awesome,’ Harriet said as she applied a thick line of eyeliner. When she’d heard about Emma’s plans to do some snooping, she’d insisted on coming along, too.

  ‘Every detective needs a sidekick,’ she’d said.

  She was going as an evil fairy, her favourite Halloween guise. She was even wearing the very same dress she wore at the Halloween party they’d held at their London flat years ago.

  ‘She’s ready!’ Dele shouted out from Isla’s room. He’d been helping her get ready for the past thirty minutes. Isla had come home on the last Thursday of term with the costume she’d designed as part of her Design Divas sessions, but she had kept it hidden because she wanted it to be a surprise. Emma had been tempted to accidentally ‘lose’ it, whatever it was. She really hated the idea that Tatjana had been helping Isla make her costume. But she didn’t want to upset Isla, especially as Emma had already decided that her daughter would not be going to Design Divas any more.

  Emma and Harriet walked down the hallway and into Isla’s room.

  ‘Ta da!’ Isla said.

  The first thing Emma noticed was that Isla was wearing a long black wig, so long the plaits came down to her feet. The dress she was wearing was a deep-purple colour and reached to her knees in opulent loops of material.

  ‘Wow,’ Emma said, not sure what else to say, as she really didn’t have a clue who Isla was supposed to be.

  ‘I know, doesn’t she make a great Rapunzel?’ Dele said pointedly, giving her a look.

  ‘Ah, yes,’ Emma said. ‘An awesome Rapunzel.’

  ‘Whoa, I am loving the dress, Isla,’ Harriet said as Isla did a twirl.

  ‘It’s a modern take on Rapunzel,’ Isla explained as she smoothed her fingers over her wig. ‘Tat came up with the idea.’

  ‘Tat, hey?’ Harriet said, raising an eyebrow at Emma.

  ‘We made her black, though, like me, Daddy and Tat,’ Isla said.

  Me and Daddy and Tat.

  Emma tried not to look at Harriet, who was shaking her head in dismay.

  ‘It’s very cool,’ Emma said as she smiled down at Isla. ‘You look amazing.’

  ‘And so does Mum, doesn’t she?’ Dele said. ‘My Khaleesi,’ he added, wiggling his eyebrows.

  ‘Who?’ Isla asked.

  Harriet laughed. ‘Mother of Dragons, child!’

  ‘It’s from a programme we watch,’ Dele said. ‘It’s very cool, trust me. Not as cool as Zombie Dad though!’ he said, gesturing to his outfit: old skinny jeans with some fake blood on them, a ripped shirt and green eyeshadow on his face. Somehow, it worked.

  ‘Right, shall we go then?’ Emma said.

  ‘Do you mind driving so I can have a drink?’ Dele asked. ‘I would suggest we walk, but . . .’ He pulled a face as he peered outside, and Emma followed his gaze to see it was raining.

  Great.

  ‘Sure,’ she said reluctantly. She hated driving, especially at night in conditions like this. But it wouldn’t be fair on Dele to say no. She didn’t drink, after all, and it would be good for him to have a few drinks. ‘Come on then!’ she said to everyone.

  They all went outside and piled into the car.

  As Emma drove carefully through the forest, Harriet leaned forward, grasping on to the back of Emma’s chair. ‘Do you remember when we did spooky walks through our local forest at Halloween when we were kids? God, we had a great childhood, didn’t we?’

  Emma nodded, smiling.

  ‘But then that all changed when we grew up,’ Harriet said.

  Emma frowned. She didn’t want to think about that.

  ‘Ooops, sorry,’ Harriet whispered, pretending to zip up her mouth. ‘Must follow Dad’s rules. No talking about it.’

  But it was too late; unwanted memories were flooding Emma’s brain. The bounce of headlights on the ground. The thunderous clatter of the rain. The screams . . .

  She clutched tight on to the steering wheel and shook her head. Why did Harriet have to bring all that up right now? She needed to focus on the task at hand: tonight was all about finding out if Tatjana Belafonte was in reality Jade Dixon.

  ‘Mum, look!’ Isla said, pointing up at the trees. Huge glow-in-the-dark spiders and bats were hanging from the branches, fake cobwebs strung from twig to twig.

  ‘Wow, Forest Grove knows how to do Halloween,’ Harriet said. As they drew up to the new home of Lawrence and Tatjana Belafonte, she let out a low whistle. ‘Now that is quite some house.’

  Harriet was right, it really was quite something. The whole exterior was lit up an eerie green with moving silhouettes projected on to it, from witches on broomsticks to howling werewolves. The area in front of the house had been made to look like a graveyard with tombstones either side, a path winding through it lit up by red spotlights. Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ was blasting out from inside, mingling with the sound of children’s laughter and adults talking.

  ‘They really do know how to do Halloween,’ Dele said as he looked at the house with an open mouth.

  ‘This. Is. Awesome!’ Isla declared, clapping her hands.

  Emma parked the car next to the Belafontes’ Jaguar.

  ‘Bit scary for kids though,’ Harriet said.

  ‘Might spook out some of the more sensitive kids,’ Emma agreed, frowning. ‘It’s a bit over the top.’

  ‘Come on, be nice,’ Dele said in a low voice.

  Harriet raised an eyebrow as Emma rolled her eyes. ‘Aren’t I always?’

  They walked in through the open door. It was already crowded inside, people chatting and dancing as kids darted here and there. Emma felt a stab of apprehension. After that confrontation with Faye and all the rumours going about, she wasn’t looking forward to this.

  But it seemed her long white wig was a good disguise and nobody seemed to notice her.

  The downstairs area of the Belafonte house was completely open plan, a large kitchen to the right of the vast hallway with state-of-the-art blue units, a dining room laden with all sorts of Halloween-themed food. Across from the kitchen to the left of the house was a living room area with a big blue sofa, the long stretch of wall behind it made up of wooden panels with a series of woven circles featuring patterns in black, blue and white. Large stylishly illuminated pumpkins stared back at them from every surface, in stark contrast to the tiny pumpkin Emma had carved with Isla, which looked more surprised than scary.

  ‘This place is amazing,’ Harriet whispered, peering up as they passed under a balcony walkway which was lined with a long glass panel looking down into the ground floor, fake spider webs hanging from it.

  Emma noticed Lawrence and Tatjana with their boys at the back of the living room, chatting to Myra who was dressed as a vampire in a long red dress, her dark hair dyed black and straightened.

  To her horror, Emma realised that Tatjana was also dressed as Daenerys Targaryen. But her outfit hadn’t been cobbled together like Emma’s. Instead, she wore an official costume, a long white Grecian-style dress that suited her figure perfectly. Her white immaculate wig looked amazing against her dark skin and she even had a pretend baby dragon on her shoulder.

  Was this another thing she’d done on purpose to undermine Emma?

  ‘Awkward,’ Harriet said, pulling a face.

  ‘You look much better,’ Dele whispered in Emma’s ear, when he noticed her looking at Tatjana. ‘Short and curvy like the real Khaleesi.’

  Emma smiled, but she still felt rubbish. She had to admit, Tatjana looked absolutely stunning.

  Lawrence caught their eye. He was dressed as Jon Snow from Game of Thrones with a thick fur cloak over a black battle outfit, a fake moustache and black wig completing the look. Their sons, who were running around the house, Zeke bashing Phoenix with a fake sword, were dressed as little dragons, one green, one blue.

  ‘How lovely,’ Harriet whispered sarcast
ically into Emma’s ear, ‘a little dragon family.’

  As she said that, Lawrence waved them over.

  ‘You go,’ Harriet said. ‘I’ll go scope out the joint. I’ll holler if I see anything.’

  Harriet walked away, disappearing into the crowds, and Emma followed Dele and Isla as they headed over to Tatjana and Lawrence. Myra walked past them, looking Emma up and down as she went by.

  ‘Your twin!’ Lawrence said to Tatjana as he took in Emma’s outfit.

  ‘You know nothing, Jon Snow,’ Dele said in a terrible Northern accent.

  Lawrence and Tatjana laughed, Tatjana smoothing her hand over her long white wig as she looked down at Emma with a glacial smile on her face. Emma didn’t return her smile, but instead held her gaze as if to convey the fact that she was on to her.

  Tatjana turned to Isla. ‘Look at this masterpiece we made!’ she said, putting her arm around Isla’s shoulders. ‘Doesn’t the dress look divine, darling?’ she asked Lawrence.

  ‘Brilliant,’ Lawrence said. ‘What a talented young girl.’

  ‘Isn’t she just? What do you think, Emma?’ Tatjana asked, her cold gaze returning to Emma. ‘A little Rapunzel, taken from her birth parents and locked away in a tower by a wicked woman who forces the poor child to call her mother.’

  Emma’s mouth dropped open as Dele’s brow creased. She was about to say something when Isla grabbed her hand. ‘Nobody’s going to take me away from my mum and dad!’

  Tatjana’s smile faltered.

  Emma pulled Isla even closer. ‘Never,’ she said, her eyes on Tatjana. ‘You’re all mine.’

  Tatjana’s jaw tensed. ‘Drinks?’ she asked. ‘We have Melted Witch Martinis for the adults!’ she said, gesturing to a table of luminous green cocktails.

  ‘Absolutely,’ Dele said.

  ‘Emma?’ Tatjana asked.

  Emma tried to contain her annoyance. Tatjana knew that she didn’t drink!

  ‘I’m the designated driver,’ she said.

  ‘You drove?’ Tatjana asked.

  Dele pointed outside with a laugh. ‘Have you seen the weather? We don’t live in the posh houses, you know, we’re a good ten-minute walk away.’

  Lawrence laughed. ‘Fair enough. Tatjana, get Emma one of the juices Myra brought, will you? Myra’s been a godsend,’ Lawrence said, looking around at the decorations. ‘I’m not sure how we would have got everything ready in time without her.’

  Tatjana frowned slightly. ‘I did some of them, too.’

  ‘Of course, darling,’ Lawrence said.

  Tatjana walked into the kitchen where Myra was. She took a pumpkin-shaped cup from Myra and brought it over to Emma.

  ‘Pumpkin Mocktail,’ she declared as Lawrence and Dele talked about football. ‘It’s delicious.’

  Emma accepted the large cup, taking a sip. She reluctantly had to agree it really was delicious.

  ‘Ah, there’s Levi,’ Lawrence said, taking Tatjana’s hand. ‘Come meet him, will you? Have a fab time!’ he said to Dele and Emma. ‘Eat, drink and be merry!’

  He pulled his wife away as Isla spotted Tegan and darted off to play with her.

  ‘You must have noticed that?’ Emma asked Dele. ‘You can’t deny that Rapunzel remark and the way she looked at me was odd.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Dele said. ‘You’re probably reading too much into it.’ But this time, he didn’t look convinced. Was he beginning to doubt Tatjana, too?

  They both watched as Isla filled a plate with party snacks, chatting away to her friends and Myra’s son Justin as Myra looked on.

  ‘Look,’ Dele said, rubbing the back of his neck, ‘I’ve been thinking. Why don’t we call that post-adoption number that was given to us, just to put your mind at rest about Jade? I can tell it’s been worrying you.’

  ‘I already called them,’ Emma admitted.

  Dele slammed his drink down. ‘What? You didn’t consult with me first?’

  ‘I didn’t want to bother you! It’s like you said, it sounds mad. I needed to get all the evidence together and—’

  ‘Evidence?’ he said. ‘Jesus, listen to yourself, you’re treating this like a police investigation.’

  ‘Maybe it should be. Think about it, Dele, what if I’m right about her?’ she said, pointing to where Tatjana was now, strangely quiet, staring out at the forest as Lawrence chatted to a couple.

  ‘And what if you’re not?’ Dele said, disquiet in his brown eyes. ‘Look, I’m just concerned this will backfire and it’ll end up making us look bad. It was hard enough trying to convince them you were okay after everything that happened. We had to get all those records to prove you’d had counselling sessions, remember, and that your head was in the right place?’

  Emma turned away, her face flushing. Dele put his hand on her cheek, making her look back at him.

  ‘I know you’re fine now,’ he said gently. ‘But they might think it’s happening all over again, like it did all those years ago and—’

  ‘I’m not imagining it, Dele!’ Emma said. ‘I just wish my husband had a little more faith in me. I’m going to do some exploring. You go chat to your football buddies.’

  She shoved him away and headed to the kitchen, weaving in-between the crowds as she sipped her Pumpkin Mocktail. In the kitchen she picked at some ghost-shaped crisps, then downed her drink before grabbing another from the table. She could see Tatjana chatting to Lucy and Myra now, probably all gossiping away about Emma.

  Well, while she’s distracted, I’m going to see what I can find, Emma thought.

  She looked around her, then quickly headed up the long glass staircase. As she walked down the hallway, she peered into the rooms. There were two children’s bedrooms, one with the solar system on the ceiling and bed covers depicting the planets, the other an animal-themed room. At the end of the hallway she saw what was clearly Tatjana and Lawrence’s bedroom: it stretched across the back of the house and looked out to the forest.

  Emma looked over her shoulder then walked inside, closing the door behind her and using the torch from her phone to search around in the semi-darkness.

  If someone found her in here, she could just say she was lost and looking for the bathroom.

  The queen-sized bed was draped with a faux-fur brown-and-white throw, the walls papered a bronze colour. The floor was dominated by the same wooden floorboards as the entire house, and the bedside tables were made from mirrored glass. It was just as she imagined it would be: opulent, beautiful and stylish.

  She went to Tatjana’s side of the bed, signalled by the battered old Agatha Christie novel on the bedside table with a distraught woman on the front. There was a photo of the boys on the table, too, along with a glass of water.

  She opened the little drawer on Tatjana’s side. Inside was an expensive-looking moisturiser and some tablets – Sertraline, according to the label. Wasn’t that an anti-depressant?

  Then she noticed a small notepad with an embroidered bird of paradise on the front.

  Emma peered towards the door again. She wouldn’t be able to explain rifling around in the host’s bedside drawer, would she?

  ‘Oh well, needs must,’ she whispered, feeling unusually brave.

  Emma quickly pulled out the notepad, flicking through it.

  It was full of lists. At first, she thought they might be shopping lists, but on closer inspection she realised they were step-by-step handwritten guides to things like ‘How to fit into Forest Grove’ and ‘How to help the boys at school’. Under the ‘How to fit in’ list, she’d written the dress code: wellies, Boden raincoats, jodhpurs.

  Jesus, Emma thought.

  She flicked through to the last page and then gasped at what she saw.

  How to undermine E

  1. Highlight her incompetence

  2. Isolate her

  3. Create marriage troubles

  ‘What the hell . . . ?’ Emma whispered.

  This was proof. Tatjana was trying to undermine her.

  There was
a sound from the hallway outside. She quickly took a photo of the page with her phone and shoved the notepad back into the drawer. As she did so, she noticed, under a photo of Zeke and Phoenix, another photograph of a smiling, proud-looking black man in his fifties.

  She quickly closed the drawer just as the door to the bedroom opened.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Saturday 31st October

  8 p.m.

  There she goes, creeping her way upstairs.

  Where is she heading, I wonder?

  She really is turning out to be a lot sneakier and yes, a lot braver than I thought.

  I go to follow her.

  ‘How did you get that spider’s web draped on to the trees?’ Shawn asks.

  I turn to him, forcing myself to smile. He really is such a Luddite. I really have no idea what Faye sees in him. Now I’ve spent more time getting to know her, I like her. She pulled herself up from her working-class background, just like me.

  Maybe if she had adopted you, Isla, I could rest easy.

  But no, instead it’s the dullest couple on earth and here I am, talking to another of the dullest men I’ve ever met.

  What do the other school mums see in him? Shame my attempt to make Emma seem like one of those mums failed; Emma and Dele clearly seem happy enough together. Having said that, I haven’t seen Faye and Emma talk tonight so that’s a bonus.

  ‘Ladders are marvellous things,’ I say.

  They all laugh. God, they can’t even tell when I’m being rude. Or maybe they can, but they’re just too polite to say anything.

  ‘Excuse me a moment, will you?’ I say.

  I slip away, weaving in and out of the gathering crowds. How many people are here? It must be over a hundred. I hadn’t expected there to be this many people. I was hoping it would be a smaller affair so I could focus on you, my darling.

  But you’re too busy having fun with your silly little friends.

  Maybe I should just have it over and done with now? Did anyone really notice Emma walk upstairs, alone? Did they even see her come in? I nearly missed her with that ridiculous cheap wig of hers.