Circle of Doubt

by Buchanan, Tracy

  Emma looked at the time. Dele and Isla were still sleeping. She looked in on Isla. Eleven years old and yet when she slept, she still looked like that two-year-old they brought home all those years ago. Emma’s eyes flooded with tears. She was exhausted by the battle of the past few weeks, the rollercoaster of emotions and the second guessing. But now she was sure of it: Tatjana was Jade. All that was left was to take a photo of that picture she had in her drawer and confront her. That had to wait until after the birthday, though. Now it was all about Isla.

  She padded downstairs, smiling as she passed the birthday banners and balloons Dele had set up the night before for Isla to wake up to. He’d taken the day off so at least one of them would have time to get everything sorted. In the living room was a pile of presents, but Isla’s main one, from her mum and dad, was waiting all wrapped up in the garage to present to her after everyone had left. It was a mannequin bust for Isla to create her own clothes on, and Emma couldn’t wait to see her face when she opened it.

  Emma made herself a coffee and stood at the window, peering outside towards the treetops in the distance, listening to the patter of rain on the windows. She imagined Jade on this day eleven years ago, probably in the later stages of labour, considering Isla was born at nine in the morning. She was clean from drugs when she had Isla. Did she feel hopeful, excited? Was she confident of a happy future with her daughter?

  And now what? Was she, too, staring out at the forest with a coffee in her hands like Emma, hopeful she’d get Isla back?

  As Emma thought that, a police car scooted past, its sirens on. She went to the front window and saw her neighbour Vanessa poking her head out of her front door, craning her neck to watch the car pass.

  Emma opened the window and leaned out. ‘Wonder what’s going on?’ she asked Vanessa.

  ‘A car crashed down the road,’ Vanessa replied.

  ‘Oh no. I thought I heard a bang last night. Has anyone been hurt?’

  ‘No one was found in the car according to the Facebook mums’ group. Some people are going to check in the forest – they’re worried whoever was driving it might still be out there, injured.’ Vanessa looked up towards where her three teenage boys were no doubt still sleeping. ‘Probably a teenager. A Fiat like that is the kind of cheap car a teenager would have, isn’t it?’

  Emma blinked. ‘Fiat?’

  ‘Yes, that’s the make of the car. A red Fiat.’

  Emma’s legs went weak. ‘Wh-where is it?’ she managed to get out in a trembling voice.

  ‘The roundabout by Birch Road,’ Vanessa answered. ‘Someone said . . .’

  But Emma didn’t wait to hear the rest of her sentence. Instead, she pulled on her boots then ran outside, jogging down the street in her PJs until she got to the roundabout.

  And there it was: an old red Fiat with a 52 number plate, toppled over in the middle of the roundabout, one door swung open, a tyre missing.

  A red Fiat just like the one that had changed her life all those years ago.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Saturday 21st November

  9.15 a.m.

  I look at the photo of Emma with her sister Harriet as Garrett sits across from me. The girls have their arms around each other, laughing into the camera, people dancing in some cheap-looking nightclub behind them. Harriet is far more beautiful than Emma. Confident, too. You can just see it from the way she smiles into the camera, that glint in her eyes.

  How must that have felt for Emma, a plain shy blip of a girl, to grow up with a bright spark like Harriet? And yet Emma was the one who ended up with the supposedly perfect little family life Harriet had dreamed of.

  I place the photo down and read the report again. ‘Well, this is an interesting twist in the tail,’ I say.

  Garrett nods in agreement. He’s a very ordinary-looking man. Short. Thin. Nondescript hair. You wouldn’t take him for a private investigator, but maybe that’s what makes him so good. He blends into the crowd.

  In the distance, I watch as the Fiat is lifted into the air. ‘Suddenly, that little car takes on even more significance. You did a good job with that, by the way.’

  Garrett nods. Not usually his line of work, but a couple more thousand pounds put his way and he suddenly decided crashing a car into a roundabout in the dead of night could easily be in his repertoire. All he needed to do was drive it there, then leave the engine running, pop off the handbrake and voila, down the hill towards the roundabout it rolled.

  I wonder if Emma has seen it yet? It’s just up the road from her; the police cars and the commotion will surely have drawn her out. If not, she’s sure to hear all about it from the other mums at Isla’s party today. I’ll enjoy watching that.

  The door to my office opens. Tatjana steps in, her eyes darting to the photo of the two sisters, then away again.

  ‘You didn’t knock,’ I snap.

  She lowers her eyes. ‘Sorry. I just wanted to see if either of you wanted a coffee?’

  ‘No,’ I say, waving my hand at her to go away. ‘Just go get the boys ready for Isla’s party.’

  ‘Are you sure it’s a good idea we go?’ she asks as Garrett tries to look busy with his phone.

  ‘Yes, I am sure,’ I say. God, what is wrong with her lately? Of course I want to go to your birthday, my love!

  She looks at the photo again, then walks out.

  I turn back to Garrett, closing the folder holding all the information he’s gathered about that fateful night.

  ‘Yes, I think we have enough here,’ I say. ‘You’ve done a great job. All sewn up just in time for my daughter’s birthday. The rest of the money will be in your account by this afternoon.’

  He nods, standing up. ‘It’s been a pleasure, Mr Belafonte.’

  ‘Hasn’t it just?’ I say, shaking his hand.

  When he leaves, I look back at the photo and smile. That’s it, darling, game over for your pretend parents.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Saturday 21st November

  11.25 a.m.

  Emma tried to stop her hand from shaking as she buttered some bread. Her sister watched from the corner of the kitchen, a worried look on her face.

  Emma had told Harriet about the red Fiat when she’d arrived an hour ago.

  ‘I’m sorry all this is happening to you, Emma,’ she said.

  ‘I just need to get this party out of the way,’ Emma replied tightly, ‘then I’m going to confront Tatjana.’

  ‘You mean Jade.’

  ‘Yeah, Jade.’ She stabbed her knife into the butter and smoothed it over another slice of bread as she looked out towards where the red Fiat had been. Thank God it had been removed before her mum and Ray had turned up. The awful memories it would have brought back for their mother!

  It confirmed everything, as far as Emma was concerned. Someone was sending her a message: they knew what had happened, maybe even knew the very worst of it – though how, Emma wasn’t sure. And that someone had to be Jade – or Tatjana, as she was calling herself now.

  Tomorrow, Emma would go to the Belafontes’ house and insist on talking to Tatjana. Mother to mother. Hopefully she could sneak a photo of the picture she had of Jade’s father. That would be a bonus when she went to social services with her suspicions, and maybe the police too. She had to be careful. She didn’t want to stab herself in the foot in the process.

  Isla let out a giggle in the next room. The two sisters turned, watching as the birthday girl held up a slogan T-shirt her grandparents had got her. Beyond her, the large dining room had been made into a pamper area with make-up and hair ‘stations’, a local beautician setting up ready for the onslaught of fifteen excited young girls.

  ‘Funny, isn’t it,’ Harriet said as she took it all in, ‘how you used to say you’d be quite happy without kids and I was always the one who wanted a family? Now look at us.’

  Emma frowned. ‘Did you?’

  Harriet nodded. ‘Always. A busy shambolic family full of artistic little pixies.’ T
hen she sighed. ‘No chance of that now, hey?’

  The doorbell rang out and Emma dragged her eyes away from Harriet, quickly walking to the door and blinking rapidly so the tears filling her eyes disappeared. Poppy was standing outside, her dad trying to take shelter from the storm that was whipping up already.

  ‘Looks like that storm I predicted is coming,’ Fraser said.

  In more ways than one, Emma thought.

  ‘See you in two hours?’ he asked.

  She nodded.

  The next hour was filled with excitable girls screaming in delight as they gushed about each other’s make-up and hair dos, bursting all the adults’ eardrums as they did. Some of the parents had stayed, too, something Emma wasn’t used to. Back in London, it was just a given that parents would drop kids off, but then she hadn’t made that clear on the invites.

  As Emma darted back and forth, getting drinks and snacks, she caught glimpses of her sister watching from the corner of the room behind their mother’s chair, a glass of wine in her hand.

  Harriet was right. She had had the chance to have children snatched away from her, and it was all Emma’s fault.

  Emma shook her head. Don’t think about that today, not on Isla’s birthday.

  Her mother strolled over. ‘Everything all right, sweetheart? You seem . . .’ She let her voice trail off.

  ‘You know what kids’ birthday parties are like, Mum,’ Emma quickly said. ‘I’m a bit stressed, that’s all.’

  ‘I just thought I’d check, with the anniversary coming up and everything.’

  Emma’s jaw tensed. ‘I’m fine, Mum! Can we not talk about that right now?’

  To her relief, the doorbell went. Emma walked off, watching as Harriet went over to their mother and put her hand on her shoulder.

  Emma planted a smile on her face and opened the door. But the smile was quickly wiped away when she saw Tatjana standing on the doorstep with Lawrence and their two boys.

  ‘Sorry we’re late,’ Lawrence said with a bright smile. He peered behind Emma. ‘Where’s the birthday girl?’

  ‘Good, you’re here,’ Dele said, joining Emma and ushering them in.

  Emma shot him a look.

  ‘I bumped into Lawrence when I picked Isla up from school yesterday,’ Dele explained. ‘I thought it would be nice if they came too. Come in, come in.’

  Lawrence walked in as Tatjana followed, holding their boys’ hands. Tatjana wouldn’t meet Emma’s eye as she passed and instead looked down at the ground. Emma watched them walk into the living room in disbelief, unable to get her head around the fact that Dele had invited them!

  Isla came running out, smiling as she saw the new arrivals. Then her smile faltered as she looked at Emma, clearly thinking of how angry she’d been with Tatjana the day before. Emma tried to adjust her face into something pleasant instead of showing the rage she was feeling inside.

  Think of Isla, she told herself. Don’t ruin her birthday.

  Lawrence looked down at Isla. ‘Hello, birthday girl,’ he said.

  She looked up at him shyly. ‘Hello.’

  ‘Eleven now, hey?’ he said. ‘What’s all this then, a pamper party?’

  ‘Yep. We have a beautician and everything,’ Isla replied.

  Zeke and Phoenix grimaced.

  ‘Oh, don’t worry,’ Isla said, taking their hands. ‘She does face painting too, do you want to be dinosaurs?’

  ‘Yes!’ they both said, Zeke letting out a roar as he ran towards all the girls, who screamed in delight.

  ‘Look at her with them, isn’t she just wonderful?’ Lawrence said to Tatjana. She nodded faintly, her eyes cast downwards.

  Tatjana – or rather Jade – was acting so timid, but Emma was sure it was part of her game plan.

  Dele went to follow them into the dining room, but Emma grabbed his hand, pulling him back. ‘What the hell?’ she hissed.

  ‘I thought it would be good. Help mend some bridges.’

  ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’

  One of the mums peered over, raising an eyebrow at Emma’s use of bad language.

  ‘Look,’ Dele said in a harsh whisper, ‘Lawrence and I had a good chat yesterday in the school playground. We agreed it’s all got a bit out of hand. Don’t worry!’ he quickly added, ‘I didn’t mention your theories about Tatjana, not yet anyway. But honestly babe, I did some gentle probing and the facts don’t add up, she just isn’t Jade.’

  Emma shook her head as she watched Lawrence chatting to her mum and Ray, Harriet watching Tatjana with a surprised look on her face.

  What the hell? she mouthed.

  Other parents looked surprised, too. After all, they’d witnessed the drama between Emma and Tatjana at the Halloween party!

  Emma took in an angry breath as she turned back to her husband. ‘This was a mistake, Dele, a big mistake.’

  ‘Why? You said you wanted to talk to Tatjana, this will be your chance!’

  ‘At our daughter’s birthday party?’

  ‘After Isla’s gone! Your mum and Ray can take her out and we can all sit down and chat like adults. No more sneaking around. I’ve had enough of all this, it needs to be nipped in the bud.’ He walked into the living room. ‘Drinks?’ he asked Lawrence and Tatjana, ignoring Emma’s death stares. ‘We have everything, including wine.’

  ‘A glass of wine would be great, actually, to celebrate this wonderful girl’s birthday,’ Lawrence said as he smiled at Isla. ‘Tatjana will have an orange juice, won’t you darling?’

  Tatjana nodded. Emma could see her eyes were red, her cheeks hollow. She had a lot of make-up on, even more than usual.

  Emma frowned. Was this really the face of a woman who’d arranged for a car to be crashed into a roundabout the night before? Because surely that was what had happened. A strategic move to unsettle Emma and send her a message.

  Maybe this was just proof that Tatjana was spiralling out of control.

  Emma gritted her teeth, then walked into the kitchen, yanking open the fridge to get out their drinks.

  How could Dele do this?

  ‘Emma?’ a small voice asked.

  Emma glanced around to see Tatjana entering the kitchen.

  She turned to her, crossing her arms. ‘What are you doing here, Tatjana?’

  ‘It was Lawrence’s idea,’ Tatjana said. ‘I swear, I . . .’

  Lawrence walked into the kitchen then, putting his hand firmly on Tatjana’s back. ‘Go check on the boys, will you?’ he asked her.

  Emma quickly poured Tatjana her orange juice. ‘Here,’ she said, shoving the glass into her hand as she glared at her.

  Tatjana took it and hurried out.

  Emma sloshed some wine into a glass for Lawrence, then quickly poured one for herself, too.

  Yes, it broke all her rules, but she bloody needed it!

  ‘I hope you don’t mind us coming,’ Lawrence said. ‘Dele and I just thought it would be the best thing to do. He mentioned you’re still concerned about Tatjana, but I want to reassure you, she is getting help.’

  Clearly not enough.

  ‘It’s fine,’ she said instead, taking a huge gulp of wine. ‘It’s not really something I want to discuss at my daughter’s birthday.’

  ‘Of course,’ Lawrence said, following her gaze towards Isla, who was helping the beautician paint Phoenix’s face. ‘I thought you didn’t drink?’ he said, eyeing Emma’s glass.

  ‘Like you said, it’s a special occasion.’

  He smiled. ‘It certainly is.’

  Isla came running in then. ‘Mum! Let’s open presents! Dad said it’s nearly time for everyone to go.’

  ‘Ah yes, presents,’ Lawrence said. ‘Better go get ours. I’m afraid it’s a big one.’

  He disappeared down the hallway as Emma followed Isla into the living room, standing beside her sister while Dele gathered all the presents into the middle of the room.

  ‘I can’t believe they’re here,’ Harriet said.

  ‘I know,’ Emma whisp
ered under her breath.

  Lawrence walked back in with a huge box that was taller than Isla.

  ‘Wow!’ Isla said as she gawped at it.

  ‘Let’s open your friends’ presents first,’ Emma said, trying to hide her irritation at the fact that Tatjana and Lawrence had brought a present that dwarfed everyone else’s.

  They all gathered around as Isla unwrapped her presents. There was the usual mixture of reverse-sequin notepads and crafting kits. When it came to Tatjana and Lawrence’s ridiculous-sized present, Emma searched around the room for Dele, but he wasn’t there. She wanted him to see how wrong it was to invite them! They were already taking over with their present.

  Isla let Zeke and Phoenix help her rip off the paper, revealing a plain brown box.

  Isla’s face dropped and Lawrence laughed.

  ‘Here, let me open it for you,’ he said.

  He leaned close to Isla and pulled the tape off the side of the box. Then it sprang open, revealing a huge mannequin bust.

  The same one Emma and Dele had got Isla!

  Emma looked at Tatjana. ‘You knew!’ she shouted at her. ‘You somehow knew we’ve got Isla one of these for her birthday and you’ve ruined things on purpose!’

  Everyone in the room went quiet.

  ‘Emma!’ her mother said as Harriet looked at her sister sadly.

  ‘Mum?’ Isla asked. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘We’ve got one of these for you too, darling,’ Emma said in a trembling voice. ‘We were so excited about you opening it.’

  ‘Oh well, she’ll have two now!’ Lawrence said.

  Parents in the room exchanged looks.

  Emma glared at him. Didn’t he get it?

  Dele walked in then.

  ‘Have you seen this?’ Emma said, gesturing to the mannequin bust. ‘Have you seen what they got her?’

  Dele frowned as he looked at it.

  ‘Well, I think it’s time we went now,’ one of the mums said, peering at the clock as the doorbell went, marking the arrival of more parents to pick their kids up.