Breaking Down Her Walls

by Erin Zak

  “Why don’t you just breathe?” Elena says with a voice so sexy Julia can barely do as instructed.

  “Because it’s hard to breathe when I’m around you.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “You know what you do to me.”

  “Do I?”

  Julia huffs. “Um, yeah. Don’t act so coy.”

  “Me? Coy?”

  “Yes, Elena. You.”

  “Maybe we could do something that might help you breathe?”

  “Like what? Do you have an inhaler or something?” Julia laughs. “I mean, that might help.”

  “Not exactly.” Elena starts to lean into the space Julia is occupying. “I was thinking, maybe we could distract you.” Her fingers have found their way to the skin above Julia’s running shorts, and they’re starting to roam.

  “Distract me how?”

  Elena takes a step closer so that her leg is touching Julia’s now. “Do you think you’d be okay if I kissed you?”

  Julia swallows and nods.

  “Are you sure? You think you could handle it?”

  Another nod.

  “So, if I place my lips on yours right now, you’re not going to pass out on me, are you?”

  “Maybe you could just do it and see what happens?”

  Elena smiles and moves closer, her lips within an inch of Julia’s. “I guess we could just do it,” she whispers against Julia’s lips.

  Julia closes her eyes when she feels Elena’s breath brush past her skin. And then all she can feel is Elena’s lips and mouth and teeth and tongue, and it feels like coming home and being free, and Julia isn’t sure how to handle all of these feelings. She has never felt like this before. Her mind is racing, her skin is on fire, and all she can focus on is the fact that Elena Bennett is kissing her.

  “Elena?” Julia asks between kisses.

  “Hmm?” she says as she places gentle kisses along Julia’s jawline and down her neck.

  “I’m going to end up falling in love with you,” Julia whispers.

  Elena raises her head and looks at Julia. “I’ll catch you when you fall.”

  “I hope so,” Julia whispers. She leans forward and kisses Elena again, wraps her arms around Elena, and holds on for dear life.

  * * *

  “Julia!”

  Elena’s eyes are wide as she looks over at Julia. They’re cleaning the kitchen from breakfast, Elena doing most of the cleaning, and Julia sitting with her legs crossed on the counter next to the refrigerator. “Is that Cole?” Elena turns the faucet off. Julia catches Elena’s eyes as they roam over her body, her T-shirt and no bra, and then smiles when their eyes lock. “He’s going to know,” Elena says with her left eyebrow arched to her hairline.

  “He brings me the paper every morning,” Julia whispers, cupping her mug of coffee.

  “I wondered why my damn paper was missing all the time.”

  Julia scrunches her face. “Sorry,” she says softly with just the right amount of sass.

  “Julia!” comes Cole’s voice again, this time followed by knocking on the door.

  Elena sighs and grabs a towel from the counter to dry her hands. She takes off toward the door and is swinging it open before Julia even realizes what’s going on. “Good morning, dear,” Elena says with a smile, looking at Cole’s very shocked expression.

  “Mom?” he asks, standing on the porch with the latest copy of the newspaper.

  “Yes, sweetie, now get in here, please?”

  Cole does as he’s told, walking inside around Elena, who is holding the screen door open. She closes the wooden door and walks back into the kitchen, draping the towel over her shoulder as she continues to wash the dishes.

  “Hi, Cole.” Julia smiles, hiding her nervousness by casually sipping on coffee.

  “What’s…going…on?” Cole asks as he stands in the middle of the doorway to the kitchen. He removes his cowboy hat and holds on to it like a lifeline. “Are you two…” He motions to both of them, and his eyes go wide with the realization. “Whoa.”

  Julia’s eyes land on Elena’s, and it’s quite clear that when faced with the stark reality of actually being questioned, Elena is nowhere near close to coming to terms with this—whatever this is. “Cole, no, that’s not it,” Julia says. “We just had a sleepover because I was drunk last night and needed help.”

  “But Mom went to bed first,” he says quietly.

  Screw being an architect. This kid should join the FBI. “She just came to check on us around the fire, so we didn’t burn down the property.” When did she get so good at lying? “She saw how tipsy I was.” Another lie. “And decided to walk me back to the cabin.” All lies! “That’s all.” Her eyes dart to Elena, who is looking at Julia with nothing but admiration and a silent thanks.

  Cole takes a couple steps into the kitchen, hands over the newspaper to Julia, then leans against the counter. “Okay,” he finally responds. He doesn’t look convinced, but he also looks like he is nowhere near needing to know the truth. At least not right now, anyway. “Penn has been looking for you all morning, Mom.” Cole rolls his eyes and sighs. “I told her you were still sleeping.”

  Julia notices immediately how Elena’s spine straightens at the mention of Penn’s name.

  “Thank you, sweetie.” She turns the water off after she finishes the last dish and faces Cole. “Are you packed for the ride back tomorrow?”

  Cole nods, and then, like he’s been to Julia’s a thousand times, he moves over to the cabinet that holds the glasses and grabs one. He slides across the kitchen to the refrigerator and fills the glass with milk, then grabs the chocolate syrup in the door. After he gets a spoon from the drawer, he adds the syrup, then stirs it feverishly. Elena watches him, her mouth slightly hanging open. “You realize you’re a guest here, Cole?”

  “He helped me move in.” Julia smiles. “And he’s not technically a guest since this is his property, too.”

  Elena shakes her head. “What am I going to do with you two?”

  Julia swings her legs around and slides off the countertop. “So, we take the cattle back to the range tomorrow?”

  “Yeah,” Cole answers while wearing a chocolate milk mustache. “We camp up there, though, so you want to make sure you bring that sleeping bag I gave you.”

  “You gave Julia a sleeping bag?”

  “Well, duh, Mom. She didn’t have one.”

  “Duh, ‘Mom,’” Julia echoes and gets a slap on the arm from Elena.

  “Okay, Cole.” Elena takes her son’s empty glass and places it in the sink. “Let’s go so I can get cleaned up.”

  They walk to the front door together, Julia trailing behind Cole and Elena. She watches as Cole runs out the door first, skipping down the front steps before taking off toward the house.

  Elena turns, faces Julia, and looks into her eyes. “Thanks for letting me sleep with you,” she whispers as she leans forward and places her lips on Julia’s. When she pulls away, she very quietly adds, “I’m sorry I was such a bed hog.”

  Julia lets out a small snort as she reaches forward and holds on to Elena’s hand. “You can hog my bed whenever you want,” she says and squeezes. “I kinda liked waking up with you all over me.”

  A blush fills Elena’s cheeks as she pulls away from Julia and starts walking down the porch steps. “Just wait,” she says while she’s walking away. “You might think differently one day.”

  “I doubt it,” Julia shouts as she watches Elena walk away. Julia is so far in over her head she can’t even handle it.

  Chapter Thirteen

  There aren’t many days on the ranch where it’s encouraged to actually not work. So, after Julia finishes laundry and cleans herself up, she looks out her screen door and sees Elijah, Benjamin, and Ed all sitting around the fire already—at two in the afternoon—she knows right away that she needs to take advantage of this.

  She grabs a six-pack of PBR out of her refrigerator, slips on her ratty Chucks, and heads out the door, hearing
the screen slam shut behind her. The boys all look as she’s walking over, and of course, Benjamin is the first to react.

  “Would you look at that?” he says, his words already slurring together. “The City Girl herself has decided to join us. And she’s wearing shorts. And gym shoes? What is going on here?”

  Elijah lets out a laugh as he pats the seat next to him on the blanket. He’s leaning against the log, his legs crossed, his jeans rolled up to his knees, and he’s wearing flip-flops. It’s a strange sight, seeing him so casual, but it’s much deserved. Julia plops down and immediately pops open a beer. “Well, hello, boys,” she says while holding her beer up. “Bottoms up.”

  “My bottom has already been up,” Benjamin mumbles, raising a half-empty bottle of red wine to the sky.

  Thankfully, the firepit is situated where the afternoon sun is shielded by the large trees that surround the yard; otherwise, it wouldn’t be relaxing. The breeze is blowing just enough to make it comfortable, and the weather isn’t nearly as warm as it has been.

  “Julia, how’s your backside this morning?” Ed asks while he pets Bentley the golden retriever, who’s sprawled out next to him.

  Elijah looks over at Julia. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Oh my God, I fell yesterday. Calm down,” she says. “It’s actually not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I did take medicine, and I have the start of a very beautiful bruise. Otherwise, it’s okay.”

  “The cattle give you some trouble, City Girl?”

  Julia rolls her eyes and looks over at Benjamin. “Yes, as a matter of fact.” She watches as he takes another long swig of wine. “I’d rather cattle give me trouble than women,” she says, raising her eyebrows. Benjamin just hiccups in response, then leans his head back, promptly passing out.

  “Good one.” Elijah laughs, nudging Julia on the shoulder. “How was last night?” His voice is low, and only Julia hears him, but she feels as if he’s shouted it from the mountaintops.

  “What do you mean?”

  He tilts his head, gives her a knowing look, then smiles. “Really?”

  “Ugh,” Julia groans. “How?”

  “I saw her walk over there last night. Don’t worry,” he says softly. “He didn’t see.” Elijah motions toward Benjamin, then glances over at Ed. “And he’s totally cool with whatever is going on.”

  “Well, that’s just great because I’ll be honest. I have no fucking idea what’s going on,” Julia says, her voice showing how out of her element she is.

  Ed raises his beer bottle at Julia and smiles. “Welcome to the world of women.” He laughs.

  “Women? Where?” Benjamin’s head pops up, and when they all three look over at him, he leans over onto the ground and passes out again.

  “Jesus.” Julia takes a breath. “What a guy, eh?”

  Elijah chuckles and so does Ed. “You realize Elena is probably just as nervous as you are, right?” Elijah asks.

  Ed raises his hand and says, “May I be frank?”

  Julia nods, drinks her beer, and waits for him to speak.

  “Elena Bennett is a very complicated woman. For years, she mourned the loss of Gloria. Years, Julia. I mean, there were some women here and there, but nothing was ever serious. And then in walks Penn, who was new and different and wasn’t Elijah or me or someone she already knew.”

  Elijah laughs and adds, “So true.”

  “And then Penn breaks her heart. And while I don’t believe she was really the right person for Elena, it still hurt, and she was still wrecked—”

  “So true, again,” Elijah says.

  “And now? Penn waltzes back into her life. It would be confusing for Elena even if you weren’t here—doing whatever you’re doing to her heart and mind.” Ed looks around, then checks over his shoulder. “You’ve done something to her that I haven’t seen in a really long time.” He looks at Elijah as if expecting a response or confirmation.

  “Yeah, man, me either,” Elijah replies. He looks over at Julia. “Seriously. I’ve known her for a while, but this is all brand new. She’s never had a worker call her by her first name. Julia, that’s big. Even Penn was calling her Miss Bennett.”

  Ed takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes on the fire. “Like I said. She’s a complicated woman.”

  “Then why? Why me? Why even do this?”

  “Can’t help who you have feelings for, right?” Elijah smiles when he puts his arm around Julia’s shoulders and pulls her into him.

  “Penn’s easy,” Ed says. “And you make Elena feel things that she’s not used to.”

  “How do you even know this?” Julia rolls her eyes. “You act like you’re her therapist or something.”

  Elijah starts to laugh as he squeezes Julia’s shoulders. “Well, he’s been in her life the longest. Even longer than Caroline.” Elijah looks over at Ed. “Didn’t Elena’s dad hire you?”

  “Wait, what?”

  Ed smiles. “Yeah, Danny hired me when I was eighteen. Elena was only twelve at the time. But damn, could she ride a horse better than me.”

  “Wow.” Julia’s mind is stuck on twelve-year-old Elena and how adorable she probably was.

  “We hung out a lot. She’s like a little sister to me.” Ed is petting Bentley, and the dog looks like he’s in heaven. “I was very sad when she left to go Miami, but I understood. I did try to talk her out of it, though. But it’s hard to argue with Elena when she’s in love.”

  “So, you’ve been here through it all?” Julia clears her throat. “Through the death of her parents, Gloria, and even her relationship with Penn?”

  Ed nods.

  “That’s incredible.”

  Ed smiles. “We still talk, you know. Not as much lately, but only because she made me take a vacation. Either way, I know her. And I know when she’s feeling things and doesn’t know how to handle them. Believe me.”

  “Great.” Julia sighs. “She’s gonna be so mad at you if she ever finds out that you’re telling me this.”

  All of a sudden, Elena’s voice interrupts them. “You think so?” she says loudly, a few yards away still.

  Julia gasps, Elijah starts to laugh, and Ed just raises his beer at Elena. “Hello, Miss Bennett,” he says calmly, as Elena approaches. “Just trying to talk some sense into your City Girl here.”

  Elena climbs over the log and slides down next to Julia. “Worrying yourself to death will get you nowhere. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Hey.” Julia finally finds her voice. “I don’t worry. I obsess. Two completely different things.”

  A laugh spills from Elena as she nudges Julia’s side. “You’re an idiot.”

  “Yeah, well, can you blame me?” Julia replies, her heart still feeling like it’s lodged in her throat. She offers a beer, and Elena takes it, her fingers brushing Julia’s. It’s moments like these that make Julia mad at herself for needing to know so badly what Elena is thinking. Why not just go with the flow? Take these little acts of kindness—or attraction—and be okay with them.

  “What time tomorrow, Boss?” Elijah asks, finishing his beer and letting out an insanely loud belch. He covers his mouth, and his eyes are wide when he says from behind his hand, “I am so sorry, Miss Bennett.”

  Elena shakes her head. “I wanna be on the way by eight. And, Elijah?” He looks at her. “I’m not your boss right now. Deal?”

  Elijah glances at Ed before looking back at Elena. “Deal.”

  Ed jerks his thumb toward Benjamin. “This guy. What’s his deal? He didn’t used to drink that much.”

  Elena lets out a very audible sigh while looking at Benjamin passed out on the blanket he was sitting on. “Toni really broke his heart.”

  “Toni?” Julia gasps. “Get out of town.”

  Elijah nods. “Yeah, they were in love. Getting married. And then—”

  “She ditched me for a mechanic,” Benjamin mumbles, pushing himself up and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Not a fun time for me.”r />
  “Please tell me it wasn’t Ray.” Julia pauses before she drinks and says, “Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

  Everyone laughs and answers with a resounding, “No!”

  “She’s not with that guy anymore, you know that?” Elijah says.

  “Yeah, well, pal, I’m not into getting my heart broken twice by the same person.”

  “Great advice.” Julia glances nonchalantly at Elena, who’s looking down at her hands.

  “I see you looking at me,” Elena says, never making eye contact. “For the record, I’m not going back to Penn.”

  Ed clears his throat and says, “I told you I knew her.”

  “Yeah, well, Ed, you haven’t really been around here the last couple of weeks.” Elijah raises his beer at Ed. “No offense, of course. Everyone’s allowed to take a vacation.”

  “None taken.”

  “Do you all think I’m going to just take her back?” Elena asks, her tone exasperated, while leaning forward to look at Elijah. “After everything? You think I’m going to allow Penn to just waltz back into my bedroom?”

  Elijah flashes a lopsided smile, one that looks as if he’s had the better part of a case of beer because, well, he has. “You said you aren’t my boss right now, right?” Elena nods, so he looks around, then says, “Between you and me, you haven’t really been acting like a woman scorned, if you know what I mean.”

  Julia looks at Elena’s face. It’s a mixture between pissed off and shocked, and it’s making her want to rethink a lot of things in life, namely where she’s sitting at the present moment. She cannot believe this conversation is happening. Obviously, Elena Bennett does not talk about her life with just anyone. She knows Elena has known Elijah for a really long time, and now she knows the same thing about Ed but Benjamin? And she’s just word-vomiting her feelings? And Elijah is talking back like a friend? How is this happening? Oh God, Julia hopes she isn’t confronted at all about what’s going on right now. She wouldn’t be able to handle it. She’d clam up and probably die.

  “I know it isn’t necessarily the nicest thing to do to a person, but I am using Penn for the herding season,” Elena says. “Is that so wrong? I’m not going to pay her, and she’s leaving as soon as we get back from herding the cattle back to the range. We needed the help. She came back. I wanted to shoot her with my pistol, but I refrained. The end.”