Love, Lust & Friendship

by Elizabeth Stevens

“No. You’re my girlfriend,” he said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

  I sighed. “Fine. If you want to drink, I’ll drive.”

  He laughed, “That was not where I was going with that,” and let me go to open the passenger door for me.

  I got in and waited until he’d joined me. “I can drive home if you want.” Because it honestly didn’t bother me. I’d rather he have a beer or whatever if he wanted.

  He started the car and pulled out of the driveway. “Nah. I’m good. But, thanks, Ads.”

  I smiled. “Well, the offer stands if you change your mind.”

  “I’ll remember that. Or, I might just wait ‘til you’re eighteen and we can go to one of those fancy wine bars and pretend we know what we’re doing. Neither of us should probably drive that night.” He threw me a wide grin and I laughed.

  But, there was also nerves bubbling around. “That’s over a year away, Toph.”

  “So?”

  “So… You’ve thought about what we’re going to do on a date over a year away?”

  “Yeah. Why?” He threw me a concerned look and I didn’t know why I felt so weird about it.

  “Well, I guess I just didn’t…” I took a breath. “I didn’t realise this was so…long-term for you, I guess.”

  “Ah.” He paused. “I didn’t mean to assume, Ads… I just… I really like you. I like spending time with you. And, the idea I could take you out to fancy wine bars and we could act like total idiots when you’re old enough felt…normal. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable–”

  “Oh…” I finally said as I worked out what was going through his head. “No. I’m…” I huffed an awkward laugh. “I’m okay with it. I like the sound of it actually. Hate wine–”

  “Part of the fun,” he chuckled.

  “–but, the planning is fine.”

  “Yeah?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I’m surprised that Christopher Henderson is making plans with his girlfriend for such a long time away. But, since I’m that girlfriend, I’m very okay with it.”

  He laughed. “Okay. Good to know.”

  “Why do you say that like you’ve got a whole bunch of things planned?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I’m sure there’s no reason.”

  “Christopher!”

  “Addison!”

  “I wasn’t planning something for your eighteenth, okay?”

  “Good.”

  “I have to get it past Lex first, and that’s going to take almost the whole year anyway.”

  “Dude!”

  “What?” he chuckled.

  “Will I enjoy it, at least?”

  He swung a look at me, with that cocky half-smirk firmly planted on his face. “You’re just going to have to put up with me long enough to find out.”

  “Oh, God. The horror!” I said and he laughed.

  But, I wasn’t sure it was going to be such a hardship. I didn’t know what I’d been stressing about all these years. Dating wasn’t difficult. It was all the stuff that led up to it that was difficult. But, dating was easy. At least, dating Topher was easy.

  We drove to the restaurant and Topher did all the corny, cheesy things like open doors for me and hold my hand and pull my chair out.

  “You don’t think you’re over doing this?” I asked him with a wry grin.

  He smiled back. “I thought about it, yeah. But, then I decided not so much.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m still just me, Topher.”

  He gave my hand a squeeze. “I know.”

  “The dress doesn’t change anything…”

  “I know.”

  “I’m serious here, Topher.”

  He huffed a laugh. “Me, too. It’s not the dress, Ads.”

  I looked down at myself. “You don’t like it?”

  “No. I like it. But, I like what’s in the dress more.”

  I tried to frown at him and failed. “You couldn’t even get through our first proper date without thinking of sex?”

  He chuckled. “I’m not the one thinking of sex, Addy.” He gave me a wink. “Now, what do you want?”

  I shook my head and had a look at my menu.

  It was weird in a way, being out in public on a date. It was weirder that I was on that date with Topher. But, it also felt like the most natural thing in the world.

  We laughed and talked and teased each other like we always had, but there was something in his eyes that reminded me it wasn’t like I had always been. And, it was good.

  We were trying to decide if we needed desert or not when we heard, “Hey, Hendo!”

  “Ah, shit,” Topher muttered, then shot me an apologetic glance.

  “What?”

  “Uh, so… Quick decision – we are dating, yeah?”

  “Yeah… Wh–”

  “Hendo, man. How are you?”

  I looked up to see Brad Navarro standing at our table and realised why Topher had reacted the way he did. Brad was a pain in the ass and no mistake. I guess you’d call him one of Topher’s friends? He was in Year 12 at Basils and one of the popular jerks, so I assumed the two of them got along famously.

  “Yeah. Good, man. You?” Topher answered.

  Brad nodded as he shot me an appreciative look, then did a double-take when he realised it was me and not just some random girl. “No fucking way,” he chuckled. “Little Addy Mac?”

  I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear because that was going to help me hide how? “Hi, Brad.”

  He laughed. “Does Hendo Jr know you’ve got his girl out, mate?”

  Topher smiled that oozy-charm smile I hated. “He does. And, she’s my girl now, mate.”

  Brad’s eyes widened as he looked us over. “Is that so? Well, can’t say I blame you. If I’d known she’d clean up like that, I’d have had a go myself.”

  “Shame Kit got in first. Winning charm like that, I’d have let you,” I told him and Topher just barely suppressed a laugh.

  But, my sarcasm seemed lost on Brad. It was always the same with guys like him; they couldn’t fathom you weren’t being serious about how wonderful they were so they didn’t get the joke.

  “Ah well. You know where to find me when Hendo gets bored.” Brad winked.

  “Sure.” Because that was a thing that would ever happen whether Topher got bored or not.

  “Bradley!” someone yelled, their voice deep and low across the room.

  Topher followed the direction and nodded to whoever it was.

  “That’s my cue,” Brad said.

  “No worries. See you Monday,” Topher replied.

  “Yeah, see you. Bye, Addy.”

  “Bye, Brad.”

  When he was gone Topher broke into a smile. “And, here I was about to worry he’d offended you.”

  “Oh, I’m surprised you weren’t busy getting bored.”

  He grinned, knowing I was being facetious. “Yeah, it’s not hit yet. If you wanted me to get bored, maybe you should be more predictable.”

  “Sure. I’ll get right on that.”

  “If you could, that’d be great. Because I can only deal with so much of a good thing.”

  I laughed and leant over to kiss him, but he stopped before our lips met.

  “You know we’re in public, right?”

  “I didn’t think you cared.”

  “I don’t. But, I’d hate to be ruining your reputation.”

  I batted him. “Very funny.”

  “I know,” he answered, his eyes shining, then he closed the gap and kissed me.

  I didn’t know how he still managed to make my heart race and my stomach flutter. It was completely insane – like, yeah, I get it, I like him, let’s just enjoy it.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  If I’d thought I was going to get away with people not knowing that Topher and I were dating after we’d seen Brad, then I would have been a total idiot. Given it was Monday, I drove Ander i
n our baby and Topher took his car, so I didn’t see him until assembly and then I wished I could just melt into the floor.

  While Topher was doing his Head Prefect thing, someone in the crowd yelled, “You really off the market, Hendo?” and I went bright red and sank down in my seat.

  But, Topher was ever the showman and, while Derek was muttering, “Oh, shit,” and Tate was throwing me a supportive look and Will jumped and Ander froze beside me, Topher just grinned that smile I hated and smoothly said, “Rumours are true, kids. Try to contain your disappointment,” winked and went on with the sport report.

  Too many people turned to find me for me to think that the news hadn’t been spreading through the school population since Thursday.

  “Kill me now,” I mumbled, sliding even further down in my seat.

  It wasn’t easy to miss the mutterings as people looked at me. I couldn’t tell what they thought about it – if they thought anything one way or the other – or if they were just joining in on the gossip.

  When assembly was finally finished and we were sent off to Recess, I felt like I was going to combust. I had never felt so embarrassed or like so many eyes were on me. Plus, I could feel the tension radiating off Ander and he wouldn’t look at me.

  I guess Topher’s display came under ‘flaunting’?

  “We’ll see you out there,” Derek said as they went their way.

  “Yep, will do,” I answered, then went after Ander. “Babe!”

  “Hey, Addy,” a girl I only sort of recognised as one of Laney Hamilton’s lot said as she walked past.

  “Um, yeah. Hi,” I replied vaguely as I got distracted pondering why she was saying hi to me, then I ran after Ander again.

  But, I stopped as I realised that Topher was standing with Ander at our lockers. And they were having a heated discussion. True to Henderson form, it was quiet, but even from that distance I could tell it wasn’t going well.

  I hurried over, trying to ignore glances and nodding at people who smiled at me.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Ander spat as he slammed his locker closed with a bang so loud, I jumped.

  “He’s pissed the school knows we’re together.”

  I rolled my eyes at Topher. “Thank you. I couldn’t have guessed that.” I turned back to Ander and laid my hand on his arm. “Babe, talk to me.”

  He shrugged my hand off. “I’m fine, Ads,” he murmured, glaring at his brother, who was glaring right back.

  I valued my life far too much to even think how similar they looked right then. But, just the same as months ago, my reaction at looking at either boy was totally different. Not that I had time to dwell on it.

  “I was just going to say hi to her. That okay? Or, should I have made an appointment?” Topher asked Ander.

  “You get her at home, Toph. You really want to ruin what’s left of your rep being seen with us at school?”

  Topher huffed. “Yeah, righto. I forgot I was supposed to be keeping her a secret like I was ashamed of her.”

  “I am standing right here…” I pointed out.

  He threw me a look. “Sorry, Ads.” Then, looked back to his brother. “Lex, I get it, okay? I’m sorry. How did you want people to find out? Was I supposed to keep us a secret?”

  Ander looked down and rearranged his bag on his shoulder. “No,” he said in a way that we all knew meant ‘yes.’ “I just didn’t think you’d tell everyone in assembly!”

  “Lex, what did you want me to do when Gav called out, huh? Was I meant to deny it? How was Addy going to feel then? I couldn’t just ask the Headmaster for a moment to let my girlfriend know I was only about to deny our relationship so people wouldn’t find out on quite such a publically massive scale.”

  Well, that was very sweet and all – and yeah, I got that weird urge to squeal into a pillow when he called me that again – but, I didn’t really have time to unpack it all. “I appreciate that, Toph. But, it’s fine. We can–”

  “Really?” he asked, eyebrow rising. “If I’d told Gav it was all shit, you wouldn’t have cared?”

  Oh, good. Our first fight as a couple and his little brother was standing between us – literally. “I don’t know, Toph. Probably not. I would have understood.”

  I could tell that had been the wrong thing to say as soon as it was out of my mouth. “Oh. Okay, then. So, we’ll just go back to barely talking at school, then. You guys go skip class or get into a fight or whatever it is you skater nerds do, and I’ll see you at the car, Addy.” And, with that, Topher gave us a sarcastic salute and sauntered off. He called ‘hey’ to someone like nothing fazed him and I felt that giddy excitement from a moment ago fall flat on its face.

  “Jerk,” Ander muttered. “Come on, babe. Let’s go find the boys.”

  I looked after Topher’s retreating back again and sighed. “Yeah, sure.”

  Ander draped an arm over my shoulders as usual and we traipsed out.

  And, the rest of the day was no easier. People I knew by sight were saying hi to me who – even with Ander and my previous connection to Topher – shouldn’t have known who I was. Topher barely looked at me all day but was his usual animated, over-the-top dillweed with his friends – at one point, he was dancing on the tabletops in the common room with a couple of the guys before the Year 12 co-ordinator went in there and told them off.

  “Don’t worry about him, babe,” Ander told me at Lunch. “You guys will work it out.”

  That desire to bash the love of my life on the head with more than a pool noodle was back again, but I bit my tongue because none of us really knew how to get used to the new dynamic and I certainly wasn’t doing a good job of it. “Sure.”

  “Can I do anything?” Will asked when we joined them while Ander and Derek did their thing and I shook my head.

  “Thanks, I’m good.” I smiled.

  Will’s answering smile was almost sad. “You don’t have to be, Ads.”

  I blinked in confusion. “What?”

  He shrugged and offered me a snake from his bag. “You don’t have to be good. We’re all here for you. You can lean on us.”

  Will and I had always been the least close of all my friends, but that made me wonder if he was ever so slightly less social inept than the rest of us. I mean, sure, he noticed stuff, but I wondered if he noticed stuff about everyone and not just the Alt Kids of Saint Basils. I threw my arms around him and he chuckled.

  “Thanks,” I said, wishing there was some way of really conveying how I felt in that moment.

  But, the way he hugged me back made me think he knew what I was trying to say.

  “What am I missing out on?” Derek asked and I could tell it was his arms around me as well by the familiar scent that was Derek Adams.

  “Oh, Addy sandwich? Me, too!” Ander called and I felt the pressure as he joined in.

  I heard the familiar deep rumbles of Tate’s grumbling, then we all got jostled and I knew he’d joined, too.

  “Happy now?” came Tate’s voice.

  “Five more minutes,” Will sighed wistfully and I laughed.

  “Oh, hey! She is alive in there!” Ander said.

  “I am. And, can I just say, I’m very proud you all remembered what a shower was this morning.”

  I felt Derek’s laugh vibrate through my back. “Yeah. Good thing this wasn’t yesterday.”

  “Ew,” I chuckled.

  And, I felt slightly better going about my day. But, not so much that I wasn’t a bundle of nerves, hence the trip to the toilet before I met Topher at his car.

  “Ads!” Tate caught me coming out of the bathroom.

  “Were you waiting or something?” I laughed, but the look on his face made short work of that. “Tate? What’s up?”

  He looked around the hallway, then pulled me into a classroom.

  “Tate? Come on, I’m starting to think someone died, here, dude.”

  “Yeah, and it’ll be me
when Ander finds out what happened.”

  I blinked. “What?”

  Tate ran a hand through his hair as he huffed and his pale eyes were unusually agitated.

  “What happened, Tate?” I asked more forcefully.

  “The weekend you went after Kit for flirting with Tess…?” he started and I nodded.

  “Yeah…?”

  “Yeah, well… Fuck!” he muttered. “Right. So, Tess and I…dated–”

  “What!”

  “Sort of. Before I dropped AV club. We went on a couple of dates. Hookups more like. Anyway, suffice to say her elitism wasn’t the only reason I left. And, that Saturday after Ander thought she was flirting with Kit? She came on to me and I might have been a little slow in responding. And, it’s not like I can tell Ander I can’t hang out with them anymore because she’s been making a move, can I?”

  Something was niggling at me and it took me a while to work it out. “Hang on. You guys have all been hanging out?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Holi… Ah…” He paused for too long. “Yeah, about that. Ads…” Tate was in defensive mode and Tate was never in defensive mode. That told me everything he wasn’t saying.

  “I wasn’t meant to know.”

  “Okay. Look, so… Ander knew how you’d react–”

  “How many of you were keeping this from me?”

  Tate shrugged. “Just me. He figured I knew her better so, when she suggested I tag along, he went for it.”

  “Wait. She suggested it?” I spat and Tate nodded. “And, you didn’t stop to tell him she was probably playing him?”

  Tate flushed and hunched his shoulders; it was the most remorseful I had ever seen the lanky dipshit. “It took me a while to work it out.”

  “That she’s not using him for Topher, but for you?”

  Tate’s flush deepened. “I didn’t see it until it was too late to backpedal. I thought she was just being really nice after my exit from AV club, making up for being an epic dick back then. But, it wasn’t until we were out last weekend and she tried to kiss me again that I realised what was happening.”

  Curse Tate and his blindness. “How the hell have you ever been laid?” I moaned. “Jesus, dude. Come on! What did you say to her?”

  Tate flailed wildly. “What could I say?”