Hanging Stars On Big Willow Creek: A Novel

by Sarah Hill

  “I’ll be right there with you. It’ll be okay,” he said, lightly placing his hand on her back.

  As they got closer to the fire pit, Maysen let his hand drop and stepped in front of her to lead the way into the area bathed in light. “Hey guys, look who I found.”

  Taking a deep breath, Rylie stepped inside the fire light. “Hey,” she said, unable to keep the grimace off her face.

  Maddie’s eyes widened as she jumped off the stone bench and ran towards her. “Rylie!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around her. “Oh, my gosh, you’re really here!”

  Not expecting such a welcome, Rylie stiffly patted Maddie’s back and said, “Hey. How have you been?”

  “Good. Really good,” she said, pulling Rylie over to the benches and sitting down. “Take a seat. How’ve you been? What’s New York like?”

  “Easy, let her breathe, Maddie.” Kevin took a drink from the bottle he held and shook his head.

  Rylie looked over Maddie’s shoulder at Kevin. “Hi Kevin,” she said, with a crooked smile. “Rylie,” he said, with a small nod. “Good to see you.”

  She looked over at Maysen, who sat across the fire from them, smiling. “This fire is amazing,” she said, trying to make small talk. She felt like an outsider intruding on friends and it made her stomach roll in discomfort. She regretted coming already.

  “Maysen builds a good one,” Maddie agreed. She looked over at Rylie like she might burst. “Rylie, I’ve missed you so much! I’ve thought about you throughout the year and wondered how life treated you after you left.”

  “I’ve missed you too. Look, I’m sorry for the way I left and not contacting you.”

  “Thank you for that. Do you feel like telling me what happened?” she asked.

  “I allowed things I thought I saw to cloud my judgement.”

  Maddie looked at her with a puzzled look on her face. “What did you think you saw?”

  “You and Maysen fooling around behind my back. I also thought the two of you started the fire.”

  “What? Why would you think that?” Maddie asked. “You knew I loved Kevin.”

  Rylie told Maddie how she thought the events unfolded that night and why she left without a word. “I’m so sorry Maddie. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind after seeing what I thought I saw that night.”

  “It’s okay. I get it now. I probably would have reacted the same way had it been me. As heartbreaking as it was to lose my best friend in that way, I also gained a stronger relationship with Kevin and I’m happy,” she said, pausing and looking at Kevin. “We’re happy.”

  Kevin kissed her tenderly on the forehead and said, “very.”

  “I can’t be angry about the past when I feel so blessed with the life I have,” she said, looking back at Rylie. “I’m just glad you came back.”

  “Me too,” Rylie said, allowing Maddie to embrace her again.

  “You look good. Happy. Tell me about your husband, he must be quite the man.”

  “I think I’ll join Maysen over there while you have your girl talk,” Kevin said, frowning at her and standing up.

  Rylie looked over at Maysen, who was poking the fire with a long, skinny tree limb and avoiding her eyes.

  Maddie looked over at Maysen, her eyes wide. “I’m sorry. You know my mouth.”

  “Sometimes it opens before it gets the okay from your brain,” Kevin said, his eyebrows lowering as he sat next to Maysen and handed him a beer.

  “You’re fine,” Maysen said, still poking at the fire.

  Feeling her heart squeeze, Rylie looked back at Maddie and said, “I hear you guys are taking the New Plymouth school district by storm. The new dynamic duo?”

  “Rylie, being able to stay and both of us getting jobs with the school has been a dream come true. Our kids get to grow up the same way we did, in a small community where for the most part, nobody is a

  stranger.” She furrowed her brow and said, “Well, minus cell phones, laptops and gaming devices.”

  Rylie laughed with Maddie and she finally started to feel comfortable. “I’m glad you’re so happy, you deserve it.”

  Maddie glanced over at the two men, deep in conversation. “Excuse the earlier indiscretion. I automatically went into girl talk mode without thinking. I’m not on social media and I really would like to hear about your husband and your life in New York.”

  “Maddie, were you angry with me?” Rylie asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

  Taken a little off guard, Maddie sat back and looked at Rylie, her smile fading. “I was eighteen years old, Rylie. Of course, I was angry, but not because you went to New York.”

  “No?”

  Maddie shook her head. “No. I was angry because left without a goodbye” Maddie leaned forward on her knees and considered Rylie. “I saw your face that night, Rylie. I saw the pain painted on your face. I knew how much that treehouse meant to you. I knew what it meant to you and how much you loved Maysen. I wasn’t expecting to show up at your house and find out you left in the middle of the night. It was a shock and it hurt.”

  “I can’t apologize enough. When I saw the fire and the two of you together…” Rylie said, staring into the fire.

  “I know what must’ve been going through your head. I wish you had talked to us. Things would be so different, but I don’t blame you for leaving, Rylie. I do wish our friendship had meant as much to you as it did to me. You were the most important relationship I had at that time and I felt abandoned.”

  “You were important, Maddie. I’m sorry for treating you as if you weren’t.”

  “It worked out,” she said. “I think seeing me in despair brought out the protector in Kevin. He became more devoted and was always checking in on me the summer following graduation. Our attachment to each other grew on both ends. I don’t want to say you leaving was a good thing, but it did force me to look at him as more than just a trophy. He became my best friend. Maybe you leaving had nothing to do with it and it would have happened even if you stayed,” she shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m happy for you guys and I understand what you’re saying.” Rylie looked over at Maysen. “What about him?”

  Maddie shook her head and said, “I can’t speak for him. Most of the time I think he’s found a way to be happy. When he met Elizabeth, it was a surprise.”

  “How so?”

  “She was everything you weren’t. She didn’t like going out to the ranch. She said it was too dirty. Hanging out at Kevin’s for the occasional party seemed like a chore for her. There were times I felt like she was toying with him. Like he was someone to parade around her girlfriends to make them jealous. It made my skin crawl.” Maddie looked over at the guys and said, “He’s such a good guy. He deserves more.”

  “Yeah,” Rylie said, looking down at her feet.

  “Rylie, I didn’t mean that as an insult to you. Just in general.” Maddie smiled and added, “You’re still the only girl who can hang the stars in the sky for him.”

  “Maddie, don’t say that,” Rylie said, feeling a pain in her heart and a chill run across her arms. “Knowing what I did to him when I left the way I did. My heart can’t take it.”

  “I’m sorry. There goes my mouth again.” Maddie’s cheeks turned pink and she stared into the fire to avoid looking at Rylie.

  In the silence, Rylie could make out the distant sounds of the creek. “I haven’t said hello to my creek yet. I’ll be back in a bit,” she said, as she stood up.

  Maddie grimaced, causing her nose to wrinkle. “I really did it this time. I’m sorry.”

  “No. You’re fine. I really do want to see the creek. It was one of my favorite places.” Rylie leaned over and gave Maddie a hug, then headed towards the creek.

  Rylie made her way down the steep banks, using the vines to guide her the way she used to as a girl. The moon and stars were shining bright, casting a white-blue light along the creek. It made it possible for her to make out the palace rocks beneath the bridge. Kick
ing off her shoes she stepped into the creek, allowing the smooth, cool water to glide over her feet. Closing her eyes, she let the pungent aroma of the cotton woods, decaying leaves and creek water to envelop her. She was home.

  Curling her toes into the sandy creek bed and feeling the tiny pebbles move between them, she hugged herself and laughed. How had she forgotten how safe the creek made her feel? How the entire ranch made her feel. She didn’t realize how much of herself she lost by staying away. She spent so much time and energy trying to stay away and now she wasn’t sure she could leave again.

  Thoughts of moving her family to Idaho swirled in her head. Spencer could sell real estate anywhere. He didn’t even have to work if he didn’t want to. Her books did well enough and they could leave the hustle and bustle of New York to enjoy this quiet life together. Writing came more easily to her in this setting and it made sense to her to move back.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Maysen’s voice floated across the air as she became aware of warmth behind her.

  Cursing the goosebumps that trailed down her arms, she turned around and smiled. “Yeah. I just wanted to visit an old friend,” she said, nodding towards the creek. “I guess a part of me will always be a creek urchin.”

  “You were never an urchin, Rylie,” Maysen said, his voice low.

  “I was and I’m okay with that. My story doesn’t embarrass me anymore, Maysen.” Turning back to the creek she said, “I forgot how it made me feel. I miss the way the smells surround me and melt the burdens from my shoulders.”

  “I’ve been experiencing a little of that myself,” he murmured, as he sat on the sandy edge. “It’s a little like déjà vu.” Maysen picked up a pebble and tossed it side armed across the creek, watching it skip across the water.

  Ignoring the sinking feeling inside of her, she sat next to him. “Maysen, are you happy?”

  “In this moment? Yes.”

  Swallowing, she shook her head and said, “No, I mean in life. Are you glad you took over the ranch?”

  “Taking over the ranch has been my saving grace. It’s kept my head above water when I was barely skimming. Having something that keeps me busy is a good thing.” He looked at her and asked, “What about

  you? Are you happy, Rylie? Are you glad you left?”

  His question stung because there was no right answer. “I’m happy. As to whether I’m glad I left,” she paused and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to answer that in a way you’ll understand. I wouldn’t change what my life is today, but saying that doesn’t mean I don’t have regrets. It’s a bit ironic. If I say I regret leaving the way I did, it’s like I’m saying I regret meeting Spencer and having Alex and I don’t. If I say I don’t regret leaving, then in a way I’m saying that hurting you doesn’t bother me and that’s not true either.”

  “I understand what you’re saying. I have regrets too, but some of those were a result of the best parts of my life.”

  “Yes, exactly! Maybe you should’ve been the writer,” she said, smiling. Relief flowed through her body knowing Maysen understood.

  “Writing with you back when we, well, it was mostly you, it created a fire in me. I still write things down every so often.”

  “You write? Maysen, that’s amazing! What do you write about?”

  “The content isn’t important. Writing is kind of like a therapy. Is that what it feels like to you?” he asked, looking over at her. The tears gathering in his eyes glinted in the moonlight.

  “Yeah. It is a bit like therapy,” she replied, as she reached over and touched his shoulder. “Maysen, are you okay?”

  His head bobbed up and down as he smiled, revealing his dimples. “Yep. I’m good. I get to thinking too much sometimes.”

  “About the past?”

  “I try not to. The problem is,” he said, raising his arms and looking around. “The past surrounds me and I’m not leaving. This is where I belong. It just creates cracks in my armor.”

  “I guess having me around doesn’t help?” she asked, hugging her knees to her chest and looking over at him.

  Maysen’s jawline tensed as he trailed a stick through the sand. He stayed silent and Rylie assumed he wasn’t going to answer. The trickling sounds of the creek lulled her into a peaceful serenity and she closed her eyes.

  “I still love you, Rylie,” he said, breaking through the silence. “I know I shouldn’t say it, but I do.”

  “Maysen…,”

  “I don’t expect you to say anything. I know you love Spencer and knowing what it feels like to lose you, well, I’d never wish that on him. I just had to say it because I don’t need another regret.”

  Rylie’s heart twisted so tightly she thought it was going to tear in half. “How is this feeling even possible?” she shouted, as she stood up and walked down the creek bank. She stopped in front of a group of bushes that blocked her from going further.

  “What feeling?” Maysen asked, his eyes absorbing her.

  “Nothing. I think we should head back,” she said, turning to go back up the bank.

  Maysen stood and grabbed her arm as she walked past. “Rylie, what feeling?”

  Bursting into tears she buried her face in her hands and said, “I should’ve never come back.”

  Placing his fingers under her chin, he tipped her face up and asked, “What feeling?”

  “How can I love you both at the same time?” she blurted, as tears rolled down her cheeks.

  Before she realized what was happening, his lips were on hers and she was wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her tighter against him. Their kisses intensified and a dizziness flowed through her body, causing a whimper to escape her mouth. Maysen lowered her to the sand as she clung to him, kissing him repeatedly, as if he were the air she needed. She felt his hands grip her hair as he lightly bit her neck. Fire erupted through her body and as she closed her eyes, she saw Spencer’s face explode in her mind.

  “Stop,” she said, breathless. Pushing against his chest she rolled out from under him.

  “Rylie. I’m sorry.” Maysen’s eyes were wide with guilt as he clamped his hand over his mouth.

  “I have to go. I can’t… I…,” she sputtered, grabbing her shoes and trying to find the path back up the steep bank.

  “Wait, let me help you,” he said, placing a hand on the small of her back.

  “Don’t touch me.” Her voice shook as she swatted his arm away. Maysen raised his hands in the air and backed away. He stood silently as she clawed her way up the bank. She trudged back through the trees as fast as she could, breaking into the clearing where Maddie and Kevin sat laughing around the fire.

  Maddie looked over and her face fell. “Rylie! Are you okay?” she asked, rushing over to where she stood.

  “I’m fine. I guess I don’t remember my way around like I thought I did. I got a little lost.” She forced a giggle out as she walked with Maddie back to the fire.

  “Where’s Maysen? I thought he went to find you,” Kevin said, frowning in the direction she came from.

  Fear froze her insides as she slipped her shoes on and tried to spit an explanation out. “Maysen? I don’t know, I didn’t see-,”

  “There you are!” Maysen’s voice echoed behind them. He stood down the tree line further down than they were moments earlier. “We were getting worried you fell into the creek.”

  “Uhm, no such luck,” she stammered. “I was soaking my feet underneath the bridge. The water sounded so peaceful trickling over the rocks. I used to do that a lot growing up.”

  Maysen grabbed a beer from the cooler that was behind the benches and sat down across from them. “Glad you’re getting to relive some of your memories.”

  Rylie flinched and stood up. “I better go. It’s getting late and I have to drive to Boise tomorrow.”

  “Oh, no,” Maddie said, standing up beside her. “I’ll see you again, won’t I? I feel like we barely caught up.”

  “Yeah. I’ll be here for a while longer. At least unti
l we get Del home and Norm feels comfortable with her care.”

  “Let me put my number in your phone,” Maddie said, holding out her hand.

  After exchanging numbers and goodbyes, Rylie made her way back to the house. Once inside, she locked the door and shut out the lights before laying on her bed and softly cried herself to sleep.

  October 14, 2010

  Rylie woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and itchy, swollen eyes from crying. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table saw it was already half past ten. Groaning, she rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. As the water beat against her head, thoughts of Maysen’s kisses forced their way into her memory. She scrubbed harder, rubbing her skin raw as if trying to wash away what happened. What was she thinking? How could she betray Spencer? Alex’s face swam in her mind and she started to cry again. She couldn’t hide this from Spencer. She had to tell him what happened.

  Turning off the shower, she stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. She was going to have to call Spencer before she lost her nerve. Going back into her room, she grabbed her phone just as a knock sounded on the door.

  Frowning, she grabbed her robe and pulled it on, walking out into the kitchen to see who was there. She pulled the curtain aside and saw Maysen standing on the porch, a look of dread on his face. She let the curtain fall back over the window and leaned her back against the door, closing her eyes.

  “Rylie,” he called from the other side of the door. “Please let me talk to you.”

  “I can’t right now.”

  “We’re going to have to talk at some point.”

  “I have to get ready to go to the hospital. I don’t have time right now,” she said, turning her head towards the door.

  “Let me take you. We can talk on the way.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Rylie, you left me once without talking. I can’t let you do it again.”

  “I’m not leaving,” she said, and added in a whisper, “yet.”

  “Why do you run away? If you’d stop running and let people talk maybe things would work out the way they’re supposed to,” he said, raising his voice.