Her Perfect Life

by Hinze, Vicki

  “You spoke with them?”

  “Yes, I did.” He smiled. “Jake remembers more than Molly. She was awfully little—just three, when you were taken captive, right?”

  Katie nodded, too emotional to speak.

  Dr. Firestone’s face turned red and he couldn’t hold her gaze. “I would have preferred Sam be with them during this reunion, but I’ve been informed that he won’t be available.”

  “Why not?” How could he not be available? For this? Sam wouldn’t be there? The kids would be afraid…

  “He’s delivering a baby.”

  “Delivering a baby?” You’ve got to be kidding me. “He couldn’t get someone else to do it? This matters, for pity’s sake. It’s supremely significant to the kids. They need his support.”

  “I can have the children wait to meet with you until Sam is available,” Dr. Firestone said. “But you and C.D. have to swear you won’t do any damage around here. Our budget can’t take it.”

  She knew the doctor was teasing, trying to ease the tension and lighten her mood, but it couldn’t be done. Sam was avoiding her. Avoiding her? Same old nonsense. If it’s not pleasant, ignore it and it’ll go away or Katie will handle it and make it vanish. Even now, he thought she’d go away?

  Oh, God. He wanted her to go away.

  Don’t feel it, Katie. Don’t feel it. Just put it behind the shutters and forget about it for now. The children…

  She locked down her emotions. “If Sam’s not bringing the kids over, then how are they getting here?”

  “Blair brought them.” Dr. Firestone looked her right in the eye, ready to gauge her reaction. “They’re in the waiting room.”

  “Blair?” Did she thank her or smack her?

  “Sam’s, er… Um…”

  “New wife?” She filled in the blank.

  Dr. Firestone nodded.

  “He sent his wife?” Katie couldn’t believe it. Could not believe it! “How could he do that to us?” To her? To the kids? To his new wife? “She’s got to hate getting stuck with his dirty work.”

  “Actually, Katie, Sam didn’t arrange it with her. She came on her own.”

  “Seriously?”

  He nodded. “She said you had to be eager to see the children and she didn’t want you to be disappointed. She thinks you’ve had too many disappointments to deal with already.”

  Katie remained outraged at Sam—and irritated at this Blair woman. Katie had been determined to hate her on sight. But it just wasn’t working out that way. How can you justify hating someone with any conviction when that person brings you your babies so you won’t be disappointed and brings them to your parents every three months so they will know them? “She’s right,” Katie told Dr. Firestone. And, though it still galled her to say what she felt, she made herself do it. “That was very thoughtful and considerate of her.”

  Katie wanted to hate her. Had sworn to herself she would hate her. But all Blair had done forced Katie to look at things in a little different light. In her absence, Blair had cared for Katie’s children and parents and now she’d shown remarkable compassion for Katie, too. And she done it, after she’d no doubt sworn to herself she’d hate Katie, too, for messing up her orderly life. The bottom line was Katie owed Blair.

  So, she reconciled all the good and bad and decided. She’d meet Blair first and see how the kids were with her. Then decide how much to hate her.

  Until then, Katie was curious. What kind of woman had Sam married?

  Dr. Firestone’s intercom buzzed. He lifted the receiver. “Yes, Janeen?”

  A pause, a smile, a thank you, then he hung up the phone. “C.D. was successfully persuasive.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me,” Katie said. “He can be sinfully charming.” She tilted her head. “So who’s his victim?”

  “Dr. Muldoon.” Dr. Firestone stood up. “He’s agreed to the reunion.”

  “Was he opposed?”

  “He felt it was in your best interest to wait for Sam.”

  Why did everyone keep talking about her best interest without asking her what she wanted? She was weary of it. “But C.D. changed his mind.”

  Dr. Firestone nodded.

  “With or without bloodshed?” Katie asked.

  “Without—I think.” He looked uncertain. “If there was bloodshed, it wasn’t mentioned, so my guess is Dr. Muldoon remains intact.”

  “If C.D. had a splinter, I’d know it. The man can be half-dead and not whimper, but let me get within range, and he whines like he’s dying.”

  “He wants your attention, eh?” Dr. Firestone snagged a piece of chocolate, unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth. “You two have a very unique relationship.”

  “We do,” Katie said. “It’s hard to describe. The closest I can come is it’s like a marriage without the bad parts—and of course, without the sex.”

  “Of course.” His head bobbed up and down as he assimilated that information. “Interesting.” He paused, then added, “Actually, it’s compelling.”

  “And complex,” Katie admitted. “It’s always been complex.”

  “Isn’t every relationship?”

  “No,” she said, speaking frankly. “Just the important ones.”

  “Fascinating.” A smile tugged at Dr. Firestone’s lips and he stood up. “Bring the candy and let’s go see your kids.”

  Chapter Five

  “It’s cold in here. I don’t want them to be cold.” Katie sat in her lilac dress and heels in the chair beside her bed.

  “It’s eighty degrees, Katie,” C.D. said. “If anything, they’ll be hot.”

  “Right.” Dr. Muldoon had said that acclimating to a new environment could take her up to a year. But who could stand this for a year? She was freezing and, inside, she shook so hard she doubted she could stand up. Oh, God. It’s happening. They’re really here. They’re really here! Her mouth went as dry as a stone.

  C.D. stood behind her, and when the door opened, he gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be okay.”

  Don’t let me cry. Please, don’t let me cry and scare them.

  The door opened and a woman about forty walked in. She was tall and lithe, graceful with a sweet face, enormous eyes and short black hair that brushed her forehead and cheeks. She held hands with the kids.

  Katie feasted on the sight of them, but could hardly believe her eyes. Molly was tall like Sam, gangly and her hair was long, pulled back in a ponytail at her nape with a green ribbon that matched her dress. Jake was so big: at least 5’6” with swimmers’ shoulders and a strong jaw that reminded her of her father’s. He wore a navy suit with a red tie, and he—they both—looked all grown up.

  Oh God, they’d grown up without her.

  Stop it! Stop it! Be grateful, fool. Would you rather they hadn’t? That they didn’t look fresh-faced and healthy and well fed and loved?

  Blair let go of their hands. Jake let her, but Molly refused and hid halfway behind her. “Hi, Katie. I’m Blair,” she said, her gentle voice soft and melodious. She licked at her lips, clearly as nervous as Katie, and nodded to the children. “Molly and Jake are here to visit.” She then urged the children. “Say hello to your mother now. She’s waited a very long time to see you.”

  Katie looked at Blair, let her see her gratitude. “Hi, Molly. Jake.” She paused to grab a deep breath. “I’m so glad to see you.” Tears welled and blurred in her eyes. She blinked furiously to hold them back. It was hard; so hard, because the kids clung to Blair as if they were afraid of Katie. Her heart felt like a boulder. She didn’t know what to do.

  Blair nudged Jake. “Go say hello, Jake.”

  He walked over, nodded. “Hi, C.D.”

  “Champ. Good to see you.”

  “You know C.D.?” Katie asked Jake, surprised with familiarity warranting a nickname.

  “Sure. He was at your funeral—and other stuff.” Jake didn’t elaborate or flinch about mentioning her funeral, just stood before Katie with mistrust and doubt riddling his eye
s.

  She lifted her hands to him and he stepped closer, gave her a hug reserved for distant old aunts you don’t really want to touch, and then quickly backed away. “Hi.”

  She gave him a watery smile. “Thank you, Jake.” She swallowed hard. “I can barely believe you’re you.” She sniffed. “You look very different than the last time I saw you.”

  He looked back at Blair, shuffled, and stared at the floor. “Yeah. It’s, uh, been a long time.”

  Far longer than you’ll ever know. “Yes, it has.” She paused, then felt overwhelming guilt about that, and went on. “I’m very sorry about that, Jake. That it’s been so long, I mean. I—”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” He shrugged. “Mom explained it to us.”

  Mom. Meaning Blair, not Katie. She tried not to let that hurt, but it did. It stabbed through her heart like a sharp knife and twisted. “That was very kind of her.”

  “Did they make you say and do stuff like on TV?” he asked.

  “Jake,” Blair interceded. “That was a hard time for your mom, honey. Today, she needs to talk about happy things.” Blair gave him a reassuring smile then suggested, “Tell her about your swim meet last Saturday.”

  “Sorry,” he said to Katie. “I—I didn’t know what to say.”

  God, he reminded her of her father and herself. Same expressions, same phrases, same body language. It had to be in the genes. “Me, either,” she confessed then smiled again. “So what happened at the swim meet?”

  He launched into telling Katie and, as she listened, she saw him relax a little, though he was treating her with kid gloves and it was clear the way he kept looking back at Blair for approval, he was ill at ease. Molly wouldn’t budge. Wouldn’t speak, wouldn’t move from Blair’s side. She held her hand in a death grip, and though Blair tried several times to encourage her, Molly wouldn’t give an inch.

  Katie was grateful, but she was envious of Blair, too. As hard as it was to admit, she was envious and jealous. The woman was living Katie’s life, with her husband and her children, and they all loved her.

  And the truth she hadn’t dared considered stared her straight in the face.

  Things would never be as they had been before she’d been taken P.O.W. Her children would never really be her children again. She’d missed too much during their formative years, and there was no way to get that time with them back.

  That which is endured is conquered.

  “Molly, do you remember your mother’s garden?” Blair asked.

  “At our old house,” Molly said to Blair.

  “Yes.” Blair smiled. “You and your mother used to plant flowers there. Irises and roses.”

  “I kind of remember that.” She looked up at Blair. “Did I have a green thing?”

  Blair looked at Katie, who smiled. “You did, Molly,” Katie said. “A green pad for you to sit on and a green pail to carry the bulbs we planted.” Katie smiled broadly. “Do you remember that?”

  “No,” she denied it, and hid behind Blair.

  They talked for a few more minutes, but it was difficult, and exhausting. Dr. Firestone watched Katie carefully, and it was he who said that time was up for now.

  Molly and Jake looked so relieved Katie wanted to weep. And the tension that had held Blair’s back ramrod straight released. “Katie,” Blair said. “Would you like for us to visit you again tomorrow?”

  A tear rolled down her cheek. “Yes, please.”

  Jake waved and the kids went into the hall. Blair stopped at the door. “I can’t imagine all you’ve—” She stopped, then tried again. “I know this is difficult—” Again, she stopped and shook her head. Her shoulders lifted and fell. “Tomorrow will be better for all of us, Katie.”

  She nodded. “I hope so.”

  Blair walked out and Dr. Firestone winked, then left behind her. The door closed and Katie slumped in her chair.

  C.D. walked around and hugged her hard. “Aren’t they beautiful, Katie?”

  “Yes.” Her chin quivered. “But Blair is their mother, C.D. They love her.”

  “Yes, they do. And she loves them.” He looked into Katie’s eyes. “But isn’t that a good thing?”

  “Of course, it is. But I want them to love me, too. I’m their mother.”

  “They will, given time. They don’t know you right now, honey.” He sat on the edge of the bed and held her hand. “You know, you have to give it to Blair. She’s one class-act.”

  The last thing Katie wanted to hear were compliments for Blair. “Take a leap, C.D.”

  “Sorry.” He frowned. “You’re hating her, right?”

  “What do you think?” She slung him an exasperated look. “She’s got my life.”

  “I see your point.”

  Katie shook and rubbed her arms. “No, I don’t hate her.”

  “Okay.”

  “She loves my kids. She’s been good to my parents. And now, to me. What kind of idiot would I be if I hated her?”

  “A good one?”

  Katie glared at him. “Stop it.”

  “Okay.” He laid back on her bed and ate a Hershey’s kiss, then wadded the silver wrapper between his fingertips. “I’m getting a little confused here. Do we like her, or not?”

  “We’re grateful to her, okay?” Katie snagged a piece of candy. “She could have been a shrew. She could have resented my kids and ignored my folks. But she wasn’t and she didn’t. And she didn’t have to bring them to see me, or to try to help Molly remember me, either. She didn’t have to do any of that. She could have resisted me coming back into their lives and done things to make sure they stayed distant. She could have deliberately turned them against me. Instead, she’s breaking her neck—and I suspect, her heart—to make it easy for them and me.”

  C.D. ate another piece of candy, and tossed Katie one. “Which explains, of course, why you’re ticked to the gills right now.”

  “I’m ticked, you moron, because I might just have witnessed the greatest personal sacrifice I’ve ever seen in my life, and the woman who made it, did it for me and my kids.” Irritated to the point of distraction, Katie tore the wrapper off the candy.

  “Ah, it’s clear to me now.” C.D. sat up. “You like her. You wanted to hate her, but you actually like her.”

  “No, I don’t like her. I don’t really know her.” Katie tossed her rolled wrapper at him. “But I owe her. And I respect her.”

  “Liar.” He frowned. “Glare all you want. You do like her, Katie.” C.D. stilled. “But while you’re ticked because you can’t hate her and you owe and respect her, here’s a thought, Angel—for what it’s worth.”

  “What?”

  “Blair owes you, too. After Sam was here, he had a tirade in the hall. Blair can’t have kids. But because of you, she’s gotten to be a mother. And from the looks of things, she’s worked hard to be a good one.” C.D. rocked back on the pillows and closed his eyes. “Guess that makes you two about even.”

  Katie thought a second, then slapped C.D. on the thigh. “I hate it when you do that.”

  “What? Make sense?”

  “You’ve got to be joking,” she said, meaning exactly that—and that it irritated the fool out of her that he’d thought through something significant faster than she had. He always had, and it had always rankled. “I meant, you eat the candy then stuff the used paper back into the candy dish.”

  He cut her a slow sexy smile that, right or wrong, had gotten women to champion him regularly. “Sure you did, Angel.”

  She eased off her shoes. “Why was I glad you were here?”

  “Finally. A question I can answer with a hundred percent certainty.” He sat up and hugged her hard, growling at her neck. “Because you adore me.” He nipped at her. “Say it!”

  “Okay.” She laughed deeply. “I adore you. I adore you.” She giggled. “Jerk.”

  Dr. Muldoon walked in, saw them, and smiled. “Well, I see we’re doing just fine after that visit.”

  Katie smiled. “Other than this
cannibal trying to snort the skin right off me, we’re doing great.”

  Muldoon laughed. “Keep this up, and you’ll be out of here in no time.”

  Katie sobered and stilled, watched him walk out the door. Out of here.

  Where would she go?

  She had… nowhere to go…

  * * *

  “Do you need to rest?” C.D. asked. “Are you tired?”

  “No. I’m rested out. I need to get out of here for a while. I can’t think. Claustrophobia is setting in.” If she didn’t get out of here soon, she was going to start crying again about Sam and the kids and being homeless, and that wouldn’t do her a bit of good or change a thing.

  Katie adjusted the thermostat. “It’s impossible to get warm in this place.”

  “Yeah.” C.D. walked up behind her, looked at the gauge over her shoulder. “It’s a frigid eighty-five.”

  “Sorry.” She stilled. “Are you too hot?”

  “I’m fine. For you, I gladly swelter.” He grinned. “Big difference, huh?” His voice turned gentle. “The desert is miserable this time of year.”

  She turned to face him. Back to the wall, she looked up into his eyes. “September was bad, but July was worse.” She blinked, feeling lost, out of step and sync with everything around her. “How long is it going to take, C.D.?”

  He stroked her hair, tilted his head. “A while.”

  She sought the truth in his eyes. “I’m looking at my life, and I can’t see what’s ahead of me now. I can’t see anything ever feeling normal again.” She leaned her forehead against his chest. “I don’t fit here anymore. I don’t fit… anywhere.”

  “You will.” He closed his arms around her. “Things change, Katie. Day to day, we don’t notice it much. But you’ve walked into six years’ worth of changes, and when you do that all at once, you get body-slammed. Put in that position, nobody fits.”

  Afraid and too anguished to speak her feelings out loud, she whispered, “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Just be, Angel.” He held her close. “Just be. Water finds its level all on its own, and things here will settle, then you will, too.”