I edged back desperate for more distance. He appeared confused, and his eyes narrowed as they followed my movements. His footsteps matched mine as a crooked smile hollowed one cheek. Stumbling I lost my balance, and he leaped with great speed, grabbing my wrist. I cried out in fear as his hand burned my skin.
‘An angel without wings,’ he mused. ‘Could it be, I’ve found myself a fallen star?’ He leaned closer. ‘I’d heard of such things, but never believed them true.’
His desire was palpable, and he pulled me closer as if to dance. I struggled, but his arm encircled my waist. My resistance only seemed to encourage him, and he drew my pelvis to his, joining us from the waist down. His grip crushed my lungs, but I barely noticed.
‘Please…please don’t,’ I muttered, transfixed by his black eyes.
‘Oh my lovely angel, but I’m afraid I will.’
He leaned forward brushing his cheek against mine, inhaling my fear. He smelled like vanilla and fresh rain, and his breath on my neck; his closeness—it all brought intense pleasure. I was succumbing to the seduction of a dark one, and it felt…wonderful.
He shifted the hair from my shoulder, caressing my neck as he did. Lips found my earlobe, and he tasted my soft skin. ‘You are so beautiful,’ he whispered. ‘Shame we don’t have more time. I would have loved to hear of your fall, but if nothing else I promise, I will never forget you.’
He walked me backward until my back hit the wall. His body hardened as he pinned me against it; his gaze probing the depths of my soul. Heat soaked me to the core as he bestowed a gentle kiss upon my cheek. The texture of his lips scarred my skin as lust swirled in the pit of my stomach.
‘So beautiful,’ he whispered again. I couldn’t have moved even if I wanted too. Closing my eyes, I felt his hand trace my shoulder and settle on my throat. It tightened, and I tried not to think about what was coming. ‘Goodbye my angel,’ he breathed.
His hand slipped to my chest, and an involuntary shudder ran through, dulling the fear. A strange longing opened my eyes; I needed to see him one last time. I felt unexplainable gratitude to this creature who was about to erase everything forever. Staring into his pupils, I drank in their emptiness.
‘Thank you,’ I whispered with a smile.
My words had an odd effect, they wiped the serenity from his face, and his eyebrows dipped. For a moment he looked torn, almost human again, and his appearance seemed to change. His skin dulled, and a small scar dimpled his top lip. I looked closer, and cold fear numbed my hands—I knew that scar…and I knew it because I was the one who’d caused it.
He grabbed my throat, and I started to struggle. His other hand lifted to my chest, and I felt an intense pressure over my heart.
I tried to speak, but I could only manage one word. ‘Aydin.’
He instantly let go, and I fell to the ground, hitting my head. Suddenly I was upright again, unsure how I got there. His vice-like hands locked on my arms and my feet no longer touched the ground. My head hurt, and everything blurred as he shook me.
‘What did you say? What did you call me?’
I grabbed his arms to steady myself; they felt like stone. ‘I called you…Aydin.’
He stilled. ‘How do you know that name? No one calls me that. How do you know?’
It took all the strength I had to speak. ‘Because I know you.’
His eyes darted across my face, and I saw the moment of recognition. His lips parted. ‘Callie?’ He put me down and stepped back. I fought to stay on my feet, my entire being screamed to follow him, but I didn’t get a chance. He flung his hands to the sides of his head and doubled over. ‘Get away from me,’ he mumbled.
I barely heard him. ‘Aydin?’
At the sound of his name, he snapped upright again, his eyes ablaze with an eerie red glow. It was as though all the absorbed light was suddenly released. His features contorted and his hands shriveled into fists. I backed away.
A low growl began at his feet, surging through his body, erupting with unimaginable volume. ‘I said, get away from me!’
Adrenalin stripped my veins; I had never been so terrified. I broke into a sprint, as his tortured yells pursued me like the demons of hell. I ran until I could no longer hear him. I ran past endless buildings, past tormented people, till I found a small brick church. I scrambled inside and collapsed on the floor, numb with horror. My mind screamed over and over—that was Aydin, that was my Aydin. After all I’d gone through, after all the searching, he was the one that found me, and I’d just lost him again.
Chapter 15
I didn’t know what to do? I needed help, and there was only one person I could turn to. The thought of seeing Isaac scared me nearly as much as facing Aydin again. I was petrified by what he might tell me, but I had no choice. I needed to know the truth.
Standing on my beach looking towards the black sky, it seemed night had settled permanently here. The landscape was different now, just sand, water, and darkness. There was no moon, or even any stars, to illuminate my heavens. The only light was a strange glow that emanated from the perfectly flat water. It felt foreign and far too still.
‘It is pleasing to see you again Callie.’ I spun around. Isaac stood beside me. He was looking out to see, his face blank. ‘Why are you here?’
The casual inquiry hurt. ‘I need your help.’
Shifting his head, he regarded me sadly. ‘And you shall have it,’ he replied. ‘I would never deny you this, even if I thought it would bring you back.’
It looked like he’d forgotten how to smile, something he’d always done so easily. I wanted to say something to make it better, but I just couldn’t find the words. ‘I found Aydin,’ I whispered.
Isaac sighed. ‘I know.’
‘He is a dark one.’ Isaac nodded lamely; my eyes prickled. ‘You knew he was a dark one, didn’t you?’
‘I suspected.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because it would not have helped, and I was not sure.’
We stood in silence for a while. I wanted to get angry; I wanted to yell; I wanted to accuse Isaac of hiding the truth, but I knew it wouldn’t help. I guess deep in my heart I’d suspected for a while now too.
‘Did you see what happened in the alley?’ I asked.
A sad smile drew his lips tight. ‘No, I did not. I have not watched you for a long time now.’
I was confused. ‘Then how did you know?’
‘Because I still feel everything. Everything that is in your heart belongs to me too.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered.
He shook his head slowly. ‘I am not.’ I felt awkward torn between my desire to comfort Isaac and my need to find Aydin. Perhaps I shouldn’t have come. ‘You are here now Callie, so ask your questions,’ he said, as though reading my mind.
I nodded, hoping he felt my gratitude. ‘Do you think Aydin finding me was an accident or something else?’
Isaac frowned. ‘I do not know. The bond between the two of you is rare. Perhaps he sensed something. I cannot be sure.’
I rolled the thought over in my mind. ‘Do you think he sensed that I could save him?’
Isaac looked exhausted. ‘Callie, no one has ever saved the soul of a dark one. And more have been lost trying, than I care to recount.’
I felt my stomach turn. ‘But why?’
‘Because dark ones believe they have no soul to save. They think it is held by their leader.’
‘Is it?’
‘Not really, but if they think it is, in effect, it is true.’
‘So you’re saying their souls are lost forever.’
‘No. I said we have never been able to save one. Sometimes we find the ones left behind.’
‘Left behind?’
‘We think it is a punishment. At times, we have found the souls of dark ones, alone, lost and bodiless; their entire past erased. We have brought them home, but there is little we can do, other than start them anew. Returning their memories has pro
ven disastrous, and even without them, the scars still run deep.’
What he was saying was too awful to comprehend. So, this was Aydin’s future, to remain a dark one for all eternity, or become an abandoned soul void of memories. Both options were unbearably cruel. It made me even more determined. ‘What if their leader is killed?’
Isaac’s chin dropped. ‘Do you really want to do that Callie?’
‘I think I’d do anything to help him.’ He watched me without answering. ‘Please Isaac, please tell me.’
His shoulders slumped, and he looked away. ‘Destroying their leader might shatter the illusion, though I am not sure of this. What is definite though, is the effect it will have on you. Something like that will stay with you for all eternity, and if you fail, they will take you. So, either way, you lose.’
‘But what would happen to Aydin if his leader was gone?’
‘I predict he would seek another leader. Dark ones are very damaged. They fear anything other than the life they know. And to be truly free they must forgive themselves. It may be all for nothing.’
Isaac suddenly seemed so old, so tired. ‘Have you ever tried to save a dark one?’ I asked. His cool gray eyes fastened on mine. I sensed he wanted to say something, but he just shook his head. I was becoming frustrated fast. ‘Do you think Aydin will hurt me if I find him again?’
‘He will want to, but whether he would or not, I cannot say.’
‘I don’t think he will. Maybe if I can get him alone, then I can remind him of who he is, or was. Tell him his soul is still his own. He remembers me, Isaac. He said my name.’ My argument was met with silence. He shifted the sand with his foot. I struggled to stay calm. ‘Please Isaac, I have to try. Please help me find him again.’
He looked up, his eyes searching my face. After a while, his shoulders dropped with defeat. ‘Very well, I will tell you what I can, but I doubt it will help. Dark ones are drawn to negative emotions; angels are empathetic, and it is a particularly strong gift in you. Start where you found him, move outwards. Seek sadness, you have done it before. He will not have gone far. You have caused him much confusion. He will not move till he is centered again. This will be the best way to find him.’
‘I can’t thank you enough Isaac,’ I said excitedly.
Darkness clouded his face. ‘Do not thank me, Callie. This is not a good thing I have done.’
I didn’t know how to respond; it seemed that leaving would be my best reply. ‘I’ll see you soon Isaac,’ I whispered feeling myself fade.
‘Wait.’ The abruptness of his voice brought me back. ‘If you plan to do this, you will need your wings back.’ I was stunned. He walked over and embraced me. ‘I hope this will help you forgive yourself for the things you cannot change,’ he whispered into my ear.
He gave me one final heartbroken smile and walked away. I could only stare, holding onto the feel of his arms on my skin and the wings on my back.
Chapter 16
I began my search immediately. Starting in the alley I spiraled outwards, seeking pockets of sadness. I couldn’t deny it was draining—I had to concentrate to keep myself from being overwhelmed.
It didn’t take long to find several dark ones but to my disappointment, none of them were Aydin.
I learned a lot as I searched, and I soon realized that dark ones’ preferred groups of vulnerable humans rather than individuals. So, I began concentrating on collections of animosity. It led me to most of the city’s gangs, but Aydin was nowhere.
Saddened by so many wasted lives, I found it hard to focus, and to stay detached. I began to lose hope, maybe he had fled already, but I wasn’t ready to give up. I kept searching.
***
Several days later I felt an unusually strong wave of hatred coming from the outskirts of the city. I followed; it emanated from a large unit block. There was nothing to distinguish the building from the one next door, or even the one after that. Entering the building in soul form I tried to pinpoint the source. Each floor looked alike, and without the tarnished numbers, every door would’ve been identical. I could sense the number of people in each unit—two here, one there, none in that one.
On the third floor the source strengthened, coming from the far end. I moved towards it, stopping outside a door. There were at least five men inside. I isolated each emotion confirming my number. One of them was a little different, his response to the conversation wasn’t as strong. He exuded calmness, controlling the others, and his influence prevented the group from acting hastily. He was orchestrating the meeting but there was something else—a hint of remorse maybe, as though he was compelled to be here but lacked the passion. It all seemed to fit. Could this man be Aydin?
I wanted to enter the room to see if I’d found him, but I knew that he would sense me if I got too close. I couldn’t take the risk, I had to be patient; listen to their plans.
The conversation was long and heated. They spoke of their god, of their oppression, of their calling. Each one voiced an opinion; each one agreed they must act. The calm man encouraged the rage, his voice sounded like Aydin’s.
Their passion peaked and the obvious question was asked. ‘How do we prove we are serious? How do we make them listen?’
‘A bomb,’ one shouted.
Murmurs of approval followed.
‘That they will hear. That they will respect.’ The calm man agreed.
The angst turned to excitement and serious planning began. A few, well-timed sentences had turned this group into terrorists, making these ordinary people feel powerful. Each took a role, and a target was chosen. Precautions, security, timing—nothing was left to chance. They talked well into the night; it became almost paralyzing. I loathed hearing their pleasure as they discussed the desired outcome, calling on their deity for strength, blind to the reality of who’d really get hurt. The only thing that kept me there was the remorse of the man I desperately hoped was Aydin. I could feel his compulsion, his need to do this, but I also sensed his sadness.
Once I was certain I knew enough, I left. I needed to get away, work on my own plan. I only had a few days, and I had no idea how to stop this.
***
On the day of the attack, I was still unsure how to handle it, but I decided to deal with it as it happened. The target—a minor government building—had been my home since I’d left the group, and I now knew it inside out. It was little more than an average office block, the staff just ordinary people. In the days leading up to the attack I’d spent time in their presence and I’d gotten to know the people they were targeting—Aydin was now only part of the reason to stop this.
I waited on the roof watching for the men to appear. Time dragged on and still there was no sign of them. I prayed they hadn’t changed location. Maybe I should have stayed longer, listened to more of the planning. The thought of not being able to stop the attack worried me.
A car turned into the back alley bringing instant relief. I sensed two people in the vehicle, and I hoped one of them was Aydin. The car stopped, and both men got out, I couldn’t see their faces under their matching black caps. Looking around nervously, one of then grabbed a large bag while the other retrieved a crowbar from the back seat. They hurried to the back door, forced it open, and disappeared inside.
I swept down to follow, keeping my distance. They found the stairs and headed to the second floor, entering an office at the front of the building. I edged towards the open door; partitioned desks filled the room. Three of the walls were roof to ceiling windows. My heart sank—the windows would be the perfect exit for a dark one. I couldn’t see them so I dared to slip in sensing they were close. A noise behind a petition drew my attention, and I moved sideways, peering into the area.
There they were, one of the men stood facing me. I examined him—his hat was gone, and the light reflected off his sweaty forehead. He wore a khaki shirt and matching pants; his short, stocky frame was definitely human.
My attention shifted to the taller figure who had his back to m
e. Dressed in a dark shirt and jeans, his cap was still on. He whispered and the other man listened intently, working away on a wire-covered device. I still couldn’t see the taller man’s face, but then he reached for something beside him—it was Aydin.
My emotions surged, and I moved back fearing he would feel them, but he turned back to the man and kept talking. I watched them work, suddenly aware of how different this creature was to the Aydin I’d known. It was incomprehensible. How did they make the kindest man I’d ever met into this?
As the last wire went in place, Aydin stood back surveying the device, assessing its potential. After all the work, after all the planning I would have expected to feel his satisfaction, but I only felt his guilt. Perhaps his ability to feel remorse made him different from other dark ones. I’d known nothing but lust and hate from the others, at least Aydin still had something of a conscience, even if the hunger still raged in him.
They were preparing to go; my time was running out—I had to act before I lost my chance. Aydin still had his back to me and I sensed his desire to leave. Fear momentarily held me where I was but I pushed it aside. Should I try to get past him, block his path to the windows? I couldn’t risk getting any closer. My choices were limited; I had to confront him now.
Without another thought I changed into human form. The human caught sight of me, and the color drained from his cheeks. ‘Who the fuck, are you?’
Aydin turned to follow his glare. My heart skipped as our eyes met. His emotions were mixed—fear, shock and something else. The man went to charge, but to my surprise Aydin grabbed his shoulder.
‘You know her?’ he asked Aydin. Aydin didn’t answer, his hand only tightened. The man yelped in pain. ‘Jesus man, that fucking hurts. Let go of me.’
Guardian Page 17
