Aydin remained silent, staring. Panic built on the man’s face and he glanced at me as his knees buckled. Aydin’s attention shifted to the windows and all my senses heightened. Was he looking for his exit? If he got away now, I would never find him.
Leaping forward, I extended my wings flying full speed towards him. Aydin threw the man sideways and ran. I caught up with Aydin and I reached out. He tried to swerve but my hands clamped on his arms. I lifted him from the ground and I glanced back at the other man. He was on his hands and knees, scrambling for something. I saw his fingers close round what looked like a mobile phone. He looked up, his features twisted in terror. He hit the phone and a brilliant flash followed.
Aydin’s arms hardened beneath my grip; I surged forward, but I was never make it. The ensuing shock wave enclosed and a heavy thud slammed into my back. I lost my grip—I was falling, and everything went dark.
My head pounded with the sound of a nearby siren. The noise got louder, so loud that I flung my hands to my ears. Easing my eyes open, I found myself lying on my side surrounded by darkness. The siren changed, its pitch becoming deeper, clearer. It was moving towards me, slowly morphing into words—it wasn’t a siren at all, it was Aydin yelling.
‘I can’t be here with you. I can’t be!’ he screamed.
I couldn’t see him but I could hear his movements. Pushing myself upright, I got into a sitting position. I closed my eyes and concentrated on creating light. The yelling stopped as my pale, silvery glow filled the chamber. I looked around, not knowing what I would see.
At first there was nothing but gray, dust-filled air. I could just make out a concrete slab slanted above, along with countless sharp edges and exposed metal rods. The area was a few meters’ square with just enough room to stand at the highest point. Scanning the enclosure, I became convinced Aydin had escaped, but then I saw him, huddled in the furthest corner. His back was pressed against the wall and he glared with unparalleled intensity.
Suddenly he launched, his face stopping only inches from mine. Crouched in front of me, dirt and sweat streaked his cheeks. I could feel the heat of his body; his heavy breath on my mouth; his eyes held a hint of insanity.
‘Why did you do this?’ he hissed. ‘Don’t you know your value? How it all works?’ His face contorted as he spoke. He looked around, his movements were too fast, too edgy. His focus snapped back, and a shadow crossed his face. His eyes flickered shut, and when they reopened, an eerie red glow filled them. His hand lifted from the ground reaching towards my chest, and I knew I was in danger, but I couldn’t move. Fear clawed my insides as my heart raced. His hand stopped just short of my sternum; it began to shake, as though he was fighting the movement. His brow creased and his mouth twitched. ‘Move,’ he breathed. ‘Move away from me.’
Beads of perspiration grew on his face as I edged sideways, crawling to the far end of our enclosure. His posture softened, and he fell into a sitting position. He moved closer to the wall and grabbed an exposed metal rod. He was clutching it as though it would help keep him there.
‘Why are you doing this?’ he whispered, his knuckles turning white.
I took a deep breath. ‘I need to fix this.’
He shot me a confused look, I could see the hunger had eased, but it was not gone. ‘Have you come to destroy me?’ he asked, sounding almost amused. ‘I thought angels were peaceful creatures?’
My mouth fell open. ‘I would never hurt you.’
‘Then what is it? Surely you’re not trying to save me.’ The gritty air absorbed his short laugh, but my expression soon stripped the grin from his face. ‘That’s it, isn’t it? You are trying to save me. Are you completely mad?’
‘I’m told it can be done.’
‘It has never been done, and those who tried ended up dead, or worse. Now get out of here before you join them.’
‘You won’t hurt me,’ I said defiantly.
‘Just because I haven’t doesn’t mean I won’t.’
‘Then why haven’t you already?’ He shook his head, denying me an answer. My resolve grew. ‘Tell me Aydin. Tell me why you haven’t hurt me.’ He remained silent. ‘Tell me.’
His burning eyes flashed. ‘I don’t know how to explain it,’ he snapped.
‘Try,’
He flung his head back hitting it against an exposed concrete edge. ‘There is something about you, something that echoes the person I was, before I became this. And even though I don’t remember that person, I know I don’t want to destroy the one link I have to him.’ The rod bent in his grip and my courage wavered. ‘But I am not sure how long that will last,’ he added, his stare intensifying.
I wanted to move closer but didn’t. ‘I know how to help you be that person again. I just need some time.’
My pleading had little effect. His lips drew into a snarl, and I could feel his desire to lunge again building. His face flung sideways and in a blur, he was standing. I braced for his charge, but he stayed still. Suddenly his face went blank, and he tilted his chin, as though he was listening for something.
His whole body stiffened. ‘They’re coming,’ he declared. ‘They’re coming to see. You have to go Callie. Now!’
I took a deep breath, ignoring the dust stinging my throat. ‘I will only go if you come with me.’
His shoulders rose and his hands curled into claws. ‘Why are you doing this? You are an angel. I can only harm you. Can’t you see I’m lost? There’s nothing left to save. They will find you here, and I can’t protect you from them. I can barely protect you from myself.’
His desperate words did not sway me, nothing scared me more than losing him again. ‘I will go if you come with me,’ I repeated.
He bared his teeth. ‘This will never happen. You need to understand. I cannot be near you.’
Determined to make this his final statement he frantically searched the walls, testing the rubble till he found what he was looking for. With a single push, he moved enough concrete to allow a sliver of light through. He glanced at me, ready to escape.
I had one last chance. ‘Your name is Aydin James, and you have more good in you than anyone I’ve ever known.’ He froze, and I lowered my voice. ‘Whether you know it or not, you are part of my soul—the best part of my soul—and I will never be complete without you.’ He looked down, I could feel the effect my words were having. ‘Please Aydin, I will go if you come with me.’
He exhaled, half turning his head. Centuries of torment tortured his handsome face. ‘Even if I could go with you, the others will want to see who caused this, and they already know I am involved. I cannot run from them, and if they find you with me, they will take you. There are too many. I cannot make myself any clearer.’
‘Then meet me in four days,’ I persisted.
His eyebrows lifted. ‘Are you not concerned I will hurt you, or give you to my leader? You don’t understand the rewards, my entire being aches to destroy you. Can’t you feel it?’
‘Yes, but I know you Aydin James and I know you won’t hurt me.’
His face softened. ‘Nowhere would be safe.’
I paused. ‘Do you remember the last time I saw you?’
He started to shake his head, but then his knees buckled and he grabbed the wall for support again. ‘My father’s funeral,’ he mumbled.
‘You remember the church?’ He nodded. ‘We will be safe there,’ I added gently.
He stared at the floor, and I wondered what his haunted eyes saw. ‘If I agree, will you leave?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ I replied.
‘Very well, in four days’ time I will meet you there.’
The exhaustion enhanced his humanity and for the briefest moment he looked like my Aydin again. A small flame of hope flickered, and I ached to go to him, to touch him, to heal him, but I didn’t want to evoke the hateful lust my proximity caused. I smiled as best I could. ‘I will see you in four days,’ I stated.
Fading from sight I returned to my spirit form. I stayed for a moment, me
morizing his poorly lit face. He stood looking at where I’d just been. I drifted to him and I used all my strength to comfort him. He closed his eyes, and I hoped it helped a little. It was all I had left to give.
Chapter 17
A full day later I arrived at the church. I had taken my time, knowing the wait would be excruciating. Looking at the heavy wooden doors, I tried to visualize Aydin walking inside. Would it actually happen? Then it occurred to me, what if it already had? What if he was already waiting? I flung the doors open, but the building was empty.
My hand slipped from the iron ring, sinking to my side. I turned and leaned on the door, watching the sun move through the morning clouds. I could smell honeysuckle and my chest ached as I remembered him standing on the cliff edge. If he didn’t come, would I have the strength to go back? I shook my head trying not to think about it.
I sighed and walked into the gloomy interior. It was such a mess, with layers of dust and haphazard furniture everywhere. It felt so empty, so abandoned and I knew I had to fix it before he got here. At least this would help occupy the long days ahead.
I went to the closest window and grabbed a wooden board, the rough splinters dug into my fingers. A single tug brought it away and light fell onto my arms. I ripped the other boards down and the church walls illuminated. Holding my hands out I marveled at the golden light. The window was undamaged, comprising a myriad of yellow and orange, diamond-shaped panels. I unlatched and opened it, allowing the cool breeze in. It brought goosebumps to my skin, and even though I didn’t feel cold often, something warm to wear suddenly seemed appealing.
With eyes shut I visualized jeans and a loose white jumper—they appeared on my body. I glanced down at my newly created outfit wondering if I looked okay. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen my reflection. Had I changed over the past few months? Had my hair grown, had my skin freckled? Did angels change if they stayed human long enough? Maybe I should create a mirror.
I shook my head, disappointed by my vanity. There were more important things to worry about.
I cast my attention upwards, already the extra light had helped. The scattered pews and the rustic stone altar needed restoring, and there was a pile of books and paintings in the corner I wanted to investigate. I moved around the church, tearing all the boards down, including the ones covering the three tall arched windows at the back. Light flowed into every corner, bringing the interior to life. The years of dust became obvious, and I ran my hand over a windowsill, wrinkling my nose at the heavy coating. Pulling window boards down was one thing but how could I possibly clean all this dirt.
I blew aimlessly at the dust—if only I could control the air, I could fix all this in no time. Staring at the sill I imagined a breeze caressing its surface. To my surprise, some dust shifted. A flutter of excitement bubbled through my belly. Had I really just moved the air?
Concentrating harder, I visualized an even stronger breeze— the entire sill cleared. I grinned; maybe the next three days wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Restoring the church tested my abilities. Over the following days I learned to create objects other than clothes, and my skill for moving the air improved. I knew I was strong, but I even surprised myself when I realized just how much I could lift. With my confidence boosted, I tried more things. I learned I could create fire and water and even hold both in my hands. The silence revealed my finely tuned hearing, and I learned to move objects and change the temperature with merely a thought. My new skills thrilled me, but the most interesting discovery was yet to come.
On the night before Aydin was due, I stood admiring the work I’d completed. The floors and windows were spotless, and every pew was in place. Candles and wildflowers filled the church, the paintings were re-hung, and I was happy with how it all looked. But my pleasure also held a dash of fear. Everything was done, which meant I’d be alone for the night with only myself for company.
A soft whistle, from a nearby window, drew me from my thoughts, and an unseen breeze extinguished a candle sitting on the sill. Sighing heavily, I walked towards it. With a small flick of my hand, I brought the flame back to life. Golden light reflected off the glass and surrounding bricks, and I wondered what these walls had seen. So many events, both happy and sad, had happened within this space—some of them were even my own. Resting my hand on a cool stone I thought of the lives that had changed here.
Suddenly the room erupted with singing, and I was stunned to see people in every seat. They wore clothes from a previous century, and their mournful song slowly drew to a close. The group sat awkwardly and a robed priest held his hands aloft. Not one of them noticed me, and as my hand slipped from the wall, the group disappeared. I continued to stare at the now empty room, confused by what I’d just seen. Was it a memory? I was sure it didn’t belong to me. Did it perhaps belong to the church?
I extended my finger back to the wall, once again imagining the church’s past. Instantly it filled again, but this time the people wore more modern clothes. A group stood around a basin, a white-robed baby protested as water dribbled over his head. The parents laughed at his fruitless wiggles, and the priest made a sign of the cross over his forehead. I pulled my hand away, and the scene melted. Looking at the palm of my hands I smiled—I now knew how to fill my evening.
I spent the night observing the past, to distract myself from the future. Weddings, baptisms, funerals—each scene held a certain fascination, but they also reminded me of what I’d lost.
The gray light of morning finally took my hand from the wall, bringing me back to reality. Even the past couldn’t keep my fears away now.
The day dragged by with no consideration for my anxiety. Pacing the church, I tried to stay calm, but doubt finally breached my defenses. Would Aydin remember how to get here? Had he told his leader? Had he remembered that once loved me? This last thought stopped me in my tracks, and again I wondered if I’d changed over the last few months. I tried to let it go, but temptation got the better of me. Closing my eyes, I imagined a full-length mirror. When I looked again, it stood before me, and there I was, relatively unchanged. My flowing auburn hair shone in the pale light, and my ivory face was still lightly freckled. I examined my green eyes—there was something different about them—their angel glow had diminished, replaced by a certain sadness. It made me look…human.
I exhaled, remembering Aydin’s unnatural beauty. Insecurity settled, and I regarded myself again, imagining my cheeks and lips a touch pinker. Their color changed instantly to match my mental picture. I concentrated harder, visualizing thicker lashes and arched eyebrows, and both these things happened. I folded my arms across my chest, both pleased and upset with myself. Vanity was the domain of dark ones, not angels, I was walking a fine line. I decided not to change my body any further, but maybe a more angel-like dress wouldn’t hurt. I thought about a pair of silver sandals and a knee-length, white dress—my reflection soon obeyed.
Shame dominated as I observed the changes. I felt slightly sick, but I couldn’t bring myself to change back.
Grabbing the mirror, I dragged it to the back of the church and turned it around. I flopped into the nearest pew and chastised myself for what I’d done. I flicked my fingers absentmindedly across the lacy material of my dress. The wait was driving me crazy.
The clunk of the door handle made me leap, and I flew towards the altar, extinguishing the candles as I went. Crouching down I hid from sight, my heart racing. Please God, let it be Aydin.
The door opened, and a silhouette parted the sunlight. He wore dark pants and a shirt, but that was all I could make out. He closed the door and moved inside. He seemed agitated and a painful breath cut through the silence, but I no longer needed to see him—I could feel it was Aydin.
With heart in throat, I stood, re-igniting the candles with a wave of my hand. He looked alarmed but didn’t move. The muscles of his jaw tightened as he stepped back pressing himself against the door. It creaked under the pressure and my chest filled with wa
rmth. It physically hurt to stay where I was. His piercing eyes held mine as the tip of his tongue ran across his bottom lip. I could sense his struggle already.
‘You came,’ I whispered.
His eyes flashed at the sound of my voice, and he cast them downwards. ‘And I will stay for now, if you don’t come any closer.’
‘You won’t hurt me,’ I said, hoping to reassure him.
He peered from beneath his hooded brow. ‘With how I feel right now, I wouldn’t be so sure.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, shuffling further back. ‘I promise I’ll stay here.’ Exhaustion slumped his shoulders. I lowered my voice. ‘Thank you for keeping your promise.’
‘You didn’t leave me much choice.’
‘You could have stayed away.’
His head turned to the side. ‘I probably should have.’
I exhaled through pursed lips. ‘Why is it such a struggle for you to be near me?’
He laughed, but it lacked humor. ‘I’ve already tried to tell you. Your value is immeasurable. Even now my body burns to take you.’
‘But why am I so valuable?’
I felt his annoyance as he lifted his chin. ‘I don’t claim to understand the ways of angels, but didn’t they tell you about us, before sending you back?’
‘Yes. I learned about dark ones.’
‘And what did they say?’ he asked, seeming genuinely curious.
‘They said you claim and manipulate human bodies. That you exist to gather souls for a leader who you believe holds your own. They told me you can’t fly, but that you are strong, fast and…’
‘And what?’
‘And able to kill angels.’
‘Is that all?’
‘No. They also said you could be saved if I can convince you that your soul is still your own and not your leader’s.’
He frowned. ‘But I already know they don’t hold my soul.’
Guardian Page 18
