Excuse Me

by Rosanne J Thomas

  The Right Attitude

  Helen approaches Tom, the new manager of the regional office. “Do you have a minute?” she asks. Eager to assist, Tom invites her in to his office. With a worried look on her face, Helen, one of the company’s sales assistants, begins. “I am hesitant to say this, but as the new manager, you have a right to know. And I really just want to help.” Helen now has Tom’s full attention.

  “Unfortunately, we have some big problems on our team.” In a voice full of concern, Helen reports that Tina’s difficult home life is affecting her attendance, Brett’s drinking problem makes him late most days, Jeff’s money woes are making him miserable to be around, and Susan’s poor performance is because she can’t get along with her clients. “Rich’s behavior is the most problematic, though,” Helen says with great drama. “Now that his marriage is on the rocks, he’s beginning to hit on all the young female interns.”

  After she finishes describing virtually every person on the team in an unflattering, personal way, Helen sighs heavily, a barely perceptible look of smugness on her face. Tom thinks for a moment and says, “You’re right, Helen, we do have a problem. It’s your attitude. What are you going to do about that?”

  The importance of a positive attitude cannot be overstated. In his article, “The One Thing That Determines How Successful You Can Be,” author Jim Rohn says attitude “determines the level of our potential, produces the intensity of our activity, and predicts the quality of the result we receive.”7 Charles Swindoll, pastor and author, says attitude is a greater determinant of future success than one’s background, education, financial means, position, or reputation with others. He says attitude is more important than the past, the future, and even the facts.8

  Still, bad attitudes on the job run rampant, and those who have them run the gamut. From the complainer, the victim, and the martyr to the self-proclaimed overworked, under-paid, and under-appreciated, these individuals share and often over-share their feelings, about, well, everything. Nothing is off the table: relationships, politics, ill-health, weather, traffic, long lines, discourteous commuters, bosses, coworkers, work conditions, job loads, paychecks, deadlines—the list is endless. On the job, bad attitudes are evidenced by tardiness, rudeness, gossip, poor work habits, inappropriate attire, and negative tones. They are also demonstrated through disrespectful nonverbal communication such as slouching, eye rolling, glaring, smirking, and the use of electronic devices.

  There are myriad reasons people exhibit bad attitudes, including to get attention, avoid responsibility, achieve common ground, and gain validation. Fear, insecurity, jealousy, and bad habits are also factors that lead to negative attitudes. And blameless colleagues, unsuspecting customers, and innocent business partners all take the hit.

  Of course, there are issues of legitimate concern that can affect attitudes, including serious health, family, and money matters. And there are generation-specific concerns as well. Digital natives in particular are worried. While the current national unemployment rate of 5 percent means many are landing jobs, they still carry an average of $37,000 in school loan debt alone.9 According to the Census Bureau, some 30 percent of young adults aged 18–34 are living with their parents,10 creating a challenging “full nest” situation for parents and their adult children. At an age where thoughts traditionally turn to establishing relationships, buying homes, and starting families, such considerations are on the back burner for many millennials. This lack of money and independence contribute to a high degree of stress for many in this cohort. Digital immigrants also have a lot on their minds as retirement security, health and healthcare, employment security, children’s educations, and the needs of aging parents weigh heavily.

  Regardless of the challenge, it is still our responsibility to choose the right attitudes, because the alternative is just too costly. Negative attitudes have deleterious effects on physical and emotional health. They drain energy, weaken immune systems, contribute to depression, lengthen illness recovery times, and shorten life. Negative attitudes at work decrease productivity, lower morale, overshadow accomplishments, damage relationships, and jeopardize business, jobs, and promotions. Bad attitudes permeate corporate cultures from top to bottom.

  Positive attitudes, on the other hand, provide enormous benefits. They engender respect, encourage the perceptions of confidence, strength, and leadership ability, facilitate optimum job productivity and satisfaction, and promote strong professional relationships.

  You can become a member of the “positive attitude club” with a few simple steps. First, do a gut check by acknowledging your feelings and recognizing how you are broadcasting them. Ask yourself whether an issue will matter tomorrow, next month, or five years from now. If the answer is no, let it go. Improve the situation if you can, but be prepared to move on in a healthy way when there’s nothing more you can do.

  With coworkers, demonstrate your good attitude by treating everyone with respect and kindness. Use positive language, banishing words like problem and impossible from your lexicon. Offer compliments, encouragement, congratulations, and apologies as warranted. Show optimism and appreciation. Go above and beyond, without expectation of recognition. In addition to doing your part in creating a positive work environment, all of these efforts can reap you great personal and professional rewards.

  Now that you’ve put on the right attitude for work, it’s time to put on the right clothes!

  The Right Appearance

  After a career that spanned nearly five decades, Walter, a 74-year-old financial advisor at one of the country’s largest wealth management companies, was about to retire. But before he did, this very successful man needed to devise a succession plan for his longstanding clients, many of whom were high net-worth individuals in their 60s, 70s, and above. They trusted him completely, and Walter knew the importance of this last business decision for his clients—and for his legacy. He was not going to let them down.

  Walter had a dozen or more skilled advisors in the office to whom he could pass his clients, and all of the advisors were technically proficient and would do a fine job. But in the end, he chose 35-year-old Patrick. Walter’s final decision was influenced not only by Patrick’s overall professionalism, but very much by the way Patrick dressed. His clients still respected formal business attire, including shined shoes, pressed suits, and “neckties,” as they called them. Walter was confident that his clients would feel very comfortable being transferred to Patrick and that the company had an excellent chance of retaining their business for years to come. A career’s worth of valuable contacts and business went to Patrick, because he “dressed the part.”

  Attire is a big part of one’s personal brand. Attire tells the world what one thinks about oneself and others. It conveys competence and judgment, or the lack thereof. It inspires confidence or elicits concern. It enhances credibility or creates confusion. It matters. Attire is the first thing others notice at an interview and on the job. It can be a deciding factor between the person who gets the job, the client, or the promotion and the person who does not. Dressing professionally is not about the latest styles or comfort. It is about reflecting and supporting a specific workplace culture and industry standards by meeting expectations, not defying them.

  It is often argued that attire, as mere “packaging,” is not important. It’s what’s inside that counts. But in order to entice others to be interested in what’s inside, they must be intrigued—or at least not put off—by what’s outside. The importance of packaging was reinforced for me daily during my 11 years working in the business sales division of Tiffany & Co. Known for its trademark “little blue box,” the venerable jeweler has never lost sight of the power of its packaging and goes to great lengths to defend infringement upon its brand. On occasions when I was asked if I could supply a Tiffany box, I would always say yes, as long as it contained paid-for Tiffany merchandise. I understood the assumptions made about this packaging. The mere sight of a Tiffany blue box held a promise, if not a gu
arantee, that whatever was inside was of unsurpassed beauty and quality. Attire, or one’s packaging, has similar power.

  Digital immigrants remember well when there was no question about what to wear to work: for men, it was a suit and tie, and for women, it was a dress (or skirt and blouse) and hosiery. Today, these standards have been relaxed dramatically, even in the most staid environments. Whether this is a good thing is under debate. In his Financial Times article, “Sorry, JP Morgan, Smart Guys Still Wear Suits,” Robert Armstrong took issue with the announcement by the world’s leading bank urging its employees to adopt business casual attire. Among Mr. Armstrong’s arguments against this standard of attire was “Put a suit on, hotshot, it’s other people’s money.”11

  In deciding what to wear, the culture of the organization is always the major determining factor. There is no “one size fits all.” Even within a corporate culture, there may be different or relaxed standards depending upon the physical location of an office or what a person does for an organization. Expectations for attire at corporate headquarters where executives and important clients roam may be different from dress standards in field offices; warmer climates may dictate lighter fabrics and fewer items of clothing; regional standards of dress in a conservative Northeast work environment may be different from a laid-back West Coast concern.

  We dress to meet expectations—not to cause confusion or concern. A uniformed police officer, firefighter, or nurse reassures us that a professional is on the scene. A hard-hatted construction worker or white-coated scientist suggests someone who respects and is prepared for the job. A suited and buttoned-down accountant or banker instills confidence in us that good care will be taken with our money. In an operating room, you hope the surgeon is wearing scrubs; in a court of law, you hope the judge is wearing black robes.

  What you wear depends on what you do and where you do it. If you work in a conservative field such as law or financial services, conservative attire is the way to go. If you’re in a creative field, such as marketing or advertising, dressing in an avant-garde style is in order. Hoodies are often the uniform of the day in the high-tech field, and the fashion industry requires the latest runway styles.

  It is incumbent upon job candidates and employees to find out what is expected of them and to dress accordingly. Job applicants can get the information they need by conducting online research for industry-specific attire, asking for advice from someone who works for an organization, or calling and inquiring about a company’s dress code. One applicant did a “stakeout” by sitting in his car in a parking lot for a first-hand view of what employees were wearing. Employees will ensure they dress appropriately by adhering to the company’s dress code or simply by observing how higher-ups in the organization dress.

  In your research, you will come across a head-spinning array of categories of business dress. They will include business formal, business professional, traditional business, general business, and interview attire. You will also see business casual and its possible subdivisions of campus casual, active casual, sporty casual, smart casual, rugged casual, and small business casual. Then there is formal and semi-formal attire for special gala events. Knowing exactly what the categories mean is problematic because the interpretations vary so widely across organizations and industries. Do your best reconnaissance, and prepare for any error to be on the side of formality. Fortunately, the following business attire rules span industries.

  BUSINESS ATTIRE RULES

  Cleanliness. Keep everything clean, including body, hair, clothing, nails, breath, and teeth. Keep a toothbrush and breath mints on hand for unexpected meetings.

  Grooming. Style hair in an acceptable fashion for your work environment. Avoid extreme colors and cuts unless that defines your company culture. Keep facial hair neat and trimmed. Wet hair is unprofessional, ear and nose hair are unsightly. With perfume, less is more.

  Quality. Fabric, stitching, pattern, color, buttonholes, and linings all give clues about the quality of a garment. Make sure they are top-notch.

  Cost. Employ the “cost per wearing method” before buying anything. A seemingly expensive item could cost just dollars per wearing.

  Fit and condition. Clothes need to fit well and be in good repair. Do not wear ripped, stained, frayed, or threadbare items or those that have missing buttons or holes.

  Taste. Avoid plunging necklines, garish colors, clanging bracelets, visible underwear, facial bolts, and conspicuous tattoos unless, of course, such styles define your workplace.

  More than a few hiring managers have reported their dismay when the well-dressed millennials they hired bore no resemblance to those who came to work. It was as though they thought that once they landed the jobs, any additional sartorial efforts were unnecessary.

  Older workers have their dress challenges, too. Some see no need to change styles that have served them well for 30, 40, or even 50 years. Others cling to the hope that the practical and conservative dress that comprises their wardrobes will once again be the standard. But attire, like everything, evolves with the times, and it’s important to evolve with it.

  The Right Way to Travel

  “ON YOUR LEFT!” comes the loud shout. Today, for what must have been the hundredth time, Liz is practically run over on her walk to work by a passing bicyclist. Or at least it feels that way. Liz appreciates the positive impact more bicycles and fewer cars have on collective well-being and the environment. What she doesn’t appreciate are the heart palpitations caused by a cyclist shouting in her ear as he speeds by with just inches to spare at 30 miles an hour. Startled, angry, and practically knocked off her feet—again—Liz begins to shout back at the cyclist, but he is long gone. “How can people be so inconsiderate?” Liz says out loud.

  Liz’s route to work is via Boston’s Charles River, a beautiful and very popular location surrounded by trees and flat paved paths that go for more than 20 miles. In the course of a given day, thousands of runners, walkers, cyclists, bladers, moms with strollers, and dog lovers with their dogs all share the river’s paths. But an unfortunate chasm has developed between cyclists and pedestrians, as each vociferously and indignantly laments the other faction’s lack of consideration. And if she is honest with herself, Liz knows each side has valid complaints.

  So Liz makes a decision. While she can’t change everyone’s attitude and behavior, she can change hers. When the next cyclist comes riding toward her, Liz gives her ample room to pass and smiles. To her amazement, the cyclist smiles back and thanks her. She tries this several more times and finds that almost everyone returns her smile, and some even say hello. Liz decides that showing a little courtesy toward those she encounters on her commute may just encourage others to do the same. No matter, it will make her commute more pleasant, and that’s a start.

  How do we annoy one another en route to work? Whether on foot or horseback (yes, a few folks do commute that way), in automobiles, or on buses, boats, mopeds, skateboards, planes, or trains, commuters are driven to daily distraction by their fellow travelers. Presuming that none of us set out to get others’ blood boiling and are merely oblivious, the issue of traveling to and from work needs attention from a number of perspectives.

  Employees begin to broadcast their brands the moment they leave home. Are they rushing down the sidewalk with ties undone and hair wet, bumping into slower moving pedestrians as they try to catch trains or buses? Do they push to get onto public transportation and vie for scarce open seats, giving scant, if any, thought to others? Are they impatient behind the wheel, weaving in and out of lanes, crudely gesturing at the slightest provocation and blaring horns with abandon? These behaviors do not go unnoticed.

  Travel can be stressful, especially during rush hours. Meetings with clients, bosses, or coworkers, project deadlines, or relieving team members may all be dependent on our timeliness. Trying to deal with uncontrollable factors such as weather, traffic accidents, and breakdowns by giving vent to our frustrations may give us breakdowns of our own.
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  There are approximately 128.3 million commuters in the U.S., 76 percent of whom travel to and from work in their own cars. Another 12 percent carpool, and approximately 8 percent combined take the bus, walk, bicycle, or ride the subway. The rest use alternate means (horseback?). Where we live determines how we get to work. In cities, up to 15 percent of workers travel by foot and up to 5 percent by bicycle.12

  To protect your brand and ensure safety all around, the following guidelines are offered for the various transportation modes.

  WHEN IN AN AUTOMOBILE:

  Personal auto:

  Use good judgment and observe the rules of the road. Speeding, following too closely, flashing headlights, using the breakdown lane to bypass traffic, or zigzagging between lanes will win you no friends and may get you pulled over.

  DO NOT text or use social media while driving. The National Highway Transportation Safety Administration reports that in 2014, more than 3,000 people were killed in distracted driving-related car crashes, and 431,000 were injured. The average time eyes are off the road while texting is five seconds, which, if traveling at 55 MPH, is like covering the entire length of a football field blindfolded.13

  Resist the urge to text even at stoplights. Invariably, the light will turn green, which you will know by the horns blaring behind you. You may make the light, but others will not, and this may come back to haunt you at the next intersection.

  Carpool:

  Establish costs and payment guidelines up front. If everyone takes turns driving, split all costs evenly. If one person does the driving, consider a mileage approach factoring in costs for fuel, maintenance, parking, and tolls. The IRS offers mileage rates, which it updates on a yearly basis.