The Boy I Once Loved

by Cara E Holt

  “Okay, I am a growing boy and I need feeding.”

  I snort and snuggle back into my pillow and roll onto my side. “Well, you know where the kitchen is. I’ll have scrambled eggs and bacon on toast, please.”

  A sharp slap to my arse makes me yelp. I sit up and glare at him. “Did you just slap me on my bum?”

  He sniggers “Bum. Are we like five again El?” He grabs hold of my hands and pulls me up. “Come on. I’ll make the eggs and you grill the bacon.”

  “Wait. I need to pee first.”

  He holds out his hands and pats his chest “Climb on up then. I need to tell you now though; I draw the line at wiping your ham sandwich.”

  I flush red despite trying not to. “I have hands. I can wipe my lady parts just fine thank you.”

  “Okay, so can you pull your undies down yourself?” He asks me amused.

  I grit my teeth and scowl at him. “Just pass me my crutches and wait here, please.”

  He hands me my crutches and taking them; I hobble to my ensuite. I lean on my crutches as I try with my other hand to pull down my shorts and knickers. It takes a few minutes, but I eventually get them down far enough to safely not pee on them. Holding the sink with my other hand, I slowly lower myself on to the toilet only for one of my damn crutches to lurch forward just before I sit down. I, therefore, end up bare arsed on the cold tiled floor. "Fucking ankle," I groan.

  There’s a tap on the door. “You okay in there? I heard a bang.” His voice sounds full of humour and smugness and I want to tell him to go fuck himself.

  “I fell on the floor,” I groan. “I can’t get back up.”

  “Okay, I’ll come in and rescue you.”

  "No! Wait!" I shout back, panicked. "You can't come in. I mean, my pants are around my ankles. My lady bits are showing."

  He chuckles, and it just makes me want to punch him. “Look, I promise I won’t look at your err...,” he laughs, “your lady garden.”

  "Fuck off laughing, Dylan. I hate you right now. This is all your damn fault."

  “Okay, I’m coming in, try to cover yourself.”

  My hands dart to cover my vagina. This is unbelievably humiliating. He opens the door, and his grin is from ear to ear. I wag a finger at him in warning. "Take that smug look off your face and don't you dare laugh. I want eyes up here on my face the entire time."

  He crosses his heart as he tries to reign in his laugh and he walks over to me, keeping his gaze on my face. Dylan crouches down and lifts me under my armpits onto the toilet seat. He stands there not moving and I point to the door. “Leave please, you are not staying in here while I pee.”

  He rolls his eyes at me before silently leaving the room and closing the door. I have never emptied my bladder as quick. “Okay, you can come back in.”

  He comes back in, still struggling to hold in that trademark smirk and he lifts me under the arms again to standing. He places my crutches under my arms, allowing me to stand on my foot. “Okay, I’m going to pull them up now.”

  “Wait, stop!” I grab his arm, “You can’t. I mean, if you bend down to pull them up, you’ll be level with my bits.”

  He chuckles. “I’ll close my eyes the whole time, okay?”

  I want to say no, but I realise I have little choice and I nod in agreement, my cheeks flushing a brilliant shade of red. He closes his eyes and moves his hands down my legs until he is crouched before me with his hands on my panties and shorts. Clearing his throat, he then slowly lifts them up, his skin in constant contact with mine the entire time he moves up my body. Jeepers, give a girl a break. This is torture. He finally pulls them up over my hips, his palm skimming across my arse as he pulls them up onto my waist.

  “There. All done.” His voice comes out all raspy, and he opens his eyes and stares at me with a look I can’t fathom. “Ready for breakfast?” He holds out his hand to take my stick and then he lifts me, only this time he carries me, so I have my legs around his waist facing him.

  "What are you doing?" I ask in wide-eyed panic.

  “I call it carrying you downstairs.” He scrutinises me. “Do I make you nervous?”

  I scoff, trying to come across as if that suggestion is ridiculous. “Of course not. I’ve known you all my life.”

  He nods silently and places me on a barstool at the kitchen island. "Seeing as you are injured, I will make breakfast for you just this once."

  “Get to it then boy, I’m famished.”

  With a chuckle, he sets to work on our breakfast, and I sit in silence watching him. He pushes his brown hair out of his eyes as he concentrates on cracking and beating the eggs. He is still shirtless, and my eyes cannot help but drift towards that small black umbrella tattoo on his chest.

  Am I being ridiculous thinking it is about me? I mean, Dylan has never and would never see me that way. I am the best friend, not a girl he has ever wanted in that way.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  He peels my attention from his chest, and I meet his inquisitive gaze. I shrug my shoulders. “Just stuff.” The sound of the front door stops him from quizzing me any further.

  "I'm home," Mum shouts from the hallway.

  "We're through here," Dylan shouts, looking all too comfortable in my kitchen.

  My mum walks in and beams at him. “Dylan, you stayed and looked after her for me?”

  He shrugs like it is nothing. “Of course. Sit down, Mrs H, I’m just about to plate out breakfast.”

  My mum smiles at him again before taking a seat at the kitchen island. “How is the patient?” She asks me, looking down at my boot.

  “Grumpy and demanding.” Dylan pipes up before I have a chance to answer.

  “I am not grumpy and demanding, thank you,” I hiss before I turn my attention back to my mum. “The patient is fine but not happy to be on crutches.”

  My mum smiles. “You never made a good patient.”

  "She was always so bad-tempered when she was ill,” Dylan says, agreeing with her.

  “Err excuse me. I am here, you know?” I eye my feast of a breakfast up as he places it in front of me. “Thanks.”

  He finally comes and sits to my right, and we all tuck in to eat.

  “What do you two have planned for the day? I’m taking myself off to bed after I have eaten this so I’m not going to be able to play nurse just yet.”

  “That’s okay, Mrs H. I can take Ella over to my house for the day. I’m babysitting Charlie anyhow, and Ella can keep me company.”

  "Oh no, I'll be fine here." I really can't cope with any more one-on-one time with Dylan, it is wreaking havoc with my heart and mind.

  “Nonsense honey you need someone to help you and who better but Dylan, besides, who else could we ask?”

  “Connor?” I offer.

  Dylan shakes his head. “Connor is working a shift at the cinema today.”

  There goes that idea. I didn’t have any other suggestions, so it looks like I have no argument to make.

  Mum licks her lips. “Dylan, that was delicious honey. Bedtime for me.” My mum pats me on the back as she passes me to head on up to bed.

  “Okay, let’s get you dressed.” He comes round to me and thankfully offers me his back this time. Placing my arms around his neck, he holds my legs and we head upstairs.

  Chapter Four

  A half-hour later, we drive four houses down the street and pull up at Dylan's house. From the outside, it looks exactly the same as I remember it. I had spent many hours as a child at this house. Memories of family barbeques rush through my brain. This house was like a second home to me once upon a time.

  Dylan hops out and comes round to my side of his car. I have given up refusing his help now and I just have to grin and bear it. I will have to get on top of my feelings as it is clear no matter how much I try he is determined to be in my life, and it is better to have him in my life as a friend than not at all. Lifting me out and getting me steady on my crutches, he then leads the way into his house.

 
“Hey mum, we’re home.”

  “In the back, sweetie,” replies a voice that I know very well. We walk through to the back of the house, which is a large open plan living space. Dylan’s mum, Stacey, sits on the sofa with a kindle in her hand. She looks up when we come in and a big smile erupts on her face. “Well, look at you!” She rushes over and sweeps me into a tight hug. She leans back and takes me in, her ocean blue eyes full of emotion. “All grown up and still as beautiful as ever. God, we have missed you.”

  "It's been a long time," I state, offering her a smile. I do adore Dylan's mum; she has always been like a second mum to me.

  She pats my cheek affectionately. “I’m so pleased you’re back, honey. It will be good for your mum having you around.”

  At the mention of my mum, I stiffen, and I see Dylan and his mum share a look. “Broken ankle, huh? Why when you two hang out does someone always end up injured?” She laughs and ruffles her son’s hair.

  "Leave off mum." He shoos her away from him. "El's mum did the night shift and as El is temporarily disabled, I said she could come here for the day."

  "Of course. You know you are welcome here anytime. This place has always been a second home to you." She glances at her watch. "I should get ready for my class, but can we catch up properly when I get back?"

  I nod and she gives me another quick hug before she disappears off upstairs, leaving just the two of us again.

  Dylan rubs at the back of his neck. "Sorry about that, she was a bit full-on. I guess you can tell she missed you."

  I laugh and bat my hand. “Ah, I love your mum; she can hug me to death anytime.”

  “Come on, let’s find Charlie. He will probably be in the den playing on the Xbox.”

  I follow him to the den. It has changed since I was last here, where the walls were once blue, they are now painted a fresh white that makes the most of the light. There on a large black leather sofa is Charlie. The last time I had seen him he was a cute 5-year-old. He is still just as cute now, but taller.

  "Hey, squirt. You remember this person?" Dylan asks as he sits down beside his brother and points at me.

  Charlie stares at me for a minute, and then his eyes drift across the room and land on a photo. A photo of me, Dylan and Charlie on the beach. Recognition dawns on his face. “It’s Ella umbrella,” he says with a grin.

  “Hey Charlie, I didn’t think you would remember me.”

  Charlie's eyes are back on his game when he replies. "I remember you, you used to take me skateboarding."

  “I did.” I grin. I had forgotten about the period he went through when he was obsessed with his new skateboard and he used to bug me and Dylan to take him to the skate park all the time. I take a seat on the other side of him. Dylan is busy texting on his phone. “What are you playing on?”

  “Minecraft,” he tells me. His brow is furrowed in concentration on what he is building on screen. “I’m building an army fort.”

  "That looks fantastic. You still love the army, hey?" Another thing I remembered well was that Charlie had always been obsessed with the army. He had several army outfits when he was five, including an army tent he slept in, in his bedroom. Charlie spends the next five minutes showing me his army world that he has built. I can't help but smile at his enthusiasm and Dylan catches my gaze over his head and he grins at me. For a second, we just look at each other and smile before the sound of the doorbell pulls me from my trance.

  “That will be the guys. I forgot we’d arranged to hang out here today. Is that okay?” He looks at me a little uncertain.

  I shrug. "It's your house."

  He sighs and scuffs the floor with his trainer. “it’s just I know you never wanted to hang with me and the guys once we got older.”

  I frown as memories of him shutting me out crowd my brain. More like he never thought I was cool enough to hang with him and his friends. "As I said, it's your house, Dylan." I turn my attention back to his brother. "So, kidder, show me this bunker."

  Dylan goes off to answer the door, and I lean my head back against the sofa. I hear voices and laughter and then as they get closer; I hear Dylan say in a warning tone. “And don’t be annoying fuckers.”

  Dylan comes back in with about five others trailing behind him. Connor sees me and he smiles, and my attention turns to the girl who he has his arm around. She is petite with mid-brown shoulder-length hair and olive skin. She is pretty in that natural way. Behind them are three other boys, one I recognise straight away to be Caleb Mills, someone I'd known most of my life as we had gone to the same primary and secondary school together.

  “Hey Ella, How’s the ankle?” Connor asks as he sits down beside me, pulling his girlfriend down next to him.

  I shrug and look at my boot. "It's still broken," I tell him with a grin.

  “No shit,” he replies, smiling. “Ella, this is Aria, my girlfriend.”

  The pretty girl I now know to be Aria smiles brightly. "Hi, Ella. I've heard so much about you, I feel like I already know you."

  I groan. “Don’t believe a word either of these two told you, it’s all lies.”

  She laughs while Connor feigns hurt. “Ah, don’t worry, it was all good, especially from Dylan here.” She gestures with her head towards Dylan, who is over by the pool table setting up. He gives her a look, almost a warning.

  “Well, well, Ella Harrison, how is it possible you have got hotter.” I look up to find Caleb standing before me, arms folded with a cheeky grin on his face. Caleb is all grown up, and he no longer looks like a boy. Like Dylan, he is all solid muscle.

  I arch a brow. “Caleb Mills. Someone sprouted up.” Caleb had always been the smallest in all the boys at school and used to get ribbed no end about it, but teenage hormones have clearly been kind to him, and he is now a good six feet tall.

  He winks and grins. “I’m all filled out now, Ella bear, in all the right places if you what I mean.”

  “Mills,” Dylan says in warning as he pulls out the cues.

  Caleb looks at him and smirks. “Relax, big boy. I know the score.”

  I look between them both puzzled, but Connor pulls me from my confusion. “Ella, these two tools here are Jack and Lucas.”

  My attention falls on the two new boys, neither of whom are familiar to me. The taller one has blonde hair that is shaved shorter on the sides but longer on top, he has green eyes and a warm smile. "Hey, Ella. Nice to finally meet you."

  I smile in response, but I’m confused. What did he mean by finally? The second boy is just as tall. I'm beginning to think these boys have all been injected with growth hormones. He has caramel coloured skin and dark brown eyes and has a Latino look about him. He gives me a small wave and then makes his way over to the pool table. Lucas stops beside Dylan and whispers something in his ear that makes Dylan grin and roll his eyes.

  “So, Ella, what is it like being back here after three years away?” Aria asks me, smiling.

  I shrug. “It is what it is. Some things feel like they haven’t changed at all, other things make me feel like I’m a stranger here.”

  “Yeah, it must feel weird,” she nods in reply. “It’ll be nice to have a girl to hang out with though, it gets a bit testosterone loaded being with this lot all the time.”

  I smile, even though I don’t like her assumption that I will hang out with them on a regular basis. “Ah, I’m a bit of a loner. I kind of prefer my own company.”

  She smiles somewhat more awkwardly this time. “Did you leave any broken-hearted boyfriend behind when you moved back here?”

  I sense all the boys listening, even though they are all playing pool. “No. No boyfriend.”

  “Really?” Her tone tells me she is surprised.

  “Yeah, I had some good friends who were boys, but just friends.”

  She nods. “Well, sometimes friendship can lead to more.” Her eyes flick over to Dylan and Connor nudges her and gives her a look.

  I don’t reply and I turn my attention back to Charlie, who shows me
more of his Minecraft world. I keep glancing over at Connor and Aria who are sitting together talking quietly and smiling and kissing. They look pretty loved up and it’s kind of sweet.

  “They are always kissing,” Charlie whispers. “It’s so disgusting.”

  I laugh. “Ah, you won’t think so one day, I promise you.”

  He gives me a look of horror that tells me he finds that idea repulsive and that has me chuckling. I catch Dylan leaning against the wall as he waits to take his shot watching the two of us and I pull my tongue out at him which makes him grin. Using Charlie as my excuse not to interact with the others goes out the window when his neighbour comes to call for him and they disappear out on the front to play. Aria cheers that the tv is finally free and grabs the remote and Connor heads over to the pool table.

  “What shall we watch, Ella?”

  I shrug. “I don’t mind.”

  “Ooh, do you watch Riverdale? I haven’t seen this week’s episode yet?”

  This brings a groan from Dylan over by the pool table. “You like that shit too? She made me watch that drivel last night.”

  Aria gives him the finger. “I wasn’t asking you. Have you seen this episode?”

  “Only about fifteen minutes of it as somebody moaned that much that we turned it over.”

  “Excellent.” She grins as she presses play and tucks her legs up beside her, getting comfy. “Dylan stayed at your place last night?” I can hear the curiosity in her voice.

  “Yeah, my mum was working, and I was stuck with this thing.” I tap my boot.

  “That’s nice, the two of you spending time together again. No wonder he looks so happy today.”

  I don’t reply and I keep my eyes trained on the tv. I feel like she is trying to imply something, but what I’m not sure.

  “Do you like Bughead or are you a Barchie girl?”

  “Bughead of course, they are endgame.”

  She grins. “Yeah, they are cute together, but then Betty and Archie have grown up together. I love the whole childhood sweetheart thing, it’s so romantic.”

  “I think the childhood sweetheart thing is overrated. Give me Jughead any day over Archie.”