Crimson Snow

by Ina Carter

  “What are they saying?” I leaned towards Kevin and whispered in his ear, wondering if he was also secretly bi-lingual.

  “Oh, he is telling her he’s never seen a more beautiful woman in his life, and your friend is telling my bro, she’d totally do him.” He translated. I looked at the naughty smirk on his face. This was payback to Marina and how she made him spit out his coffee.

  “Oh, my God, you are totally making stuff up.” I slapped his chest.

  “But you bought it for a moment, didn’t you?” He teased me back.

  Liam suddenly switched back to English and drew my attention. “Sorry, but I just hit the limit of my Russian. Those were the ten sentences I know,” he said to Marina and lifted his hands like he was admitting defeat.

  “Liam, can you explain how you know Russian?” I gawked at him.

  “His mom is Russian, Lauren. Didn’t I tell you? Her name’s Larisa, which I am sure I mentioned many times.” Kevin elbowed me, but I could tell by his naughty smile, he was enjoying the show, watching the exchange between Liam and my friend.

  Marina actually seemed excited to find someone who spoke her language, and her smile faded when Liam said his knowledge was limited. “How come your Mom didn’t teach you?” she wondered.

  “Oh, you know…my dad’s American, and she didn’t want him to be excluded…I guess she sold her soul to the Devil by not passing her mother’s language to the next generation…” he trailed.

  “So what? Your mom was the Margarita to her Master, ready to follow him into Limbo?” Marina questioned curiously, referring to the Bulgakov’s play.

  “Oh, my Mom did bewitch my Dad for sure, but to be honest, when it came to sacrifices, things were in reverse with my parents. Dad would have made a deal with the Devil to follow her to eternity. He did, in fact. Left his coaching job at Penn State because she got tenure at UCLA and he moved to L.A, for her.”

  Kevin was having a fit because now my friend and his brother were speaking in literary references. And I was learning things about Liam’s family.

  “What does your mother teach?” Marina asked, intrigued. She was totally hitting it off with Liam.

  “She is a professor of Classical Literature. You are right; I should have learned Russian, so I could read Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky in the original language.” Liam had an odd smile like he was trying to impress my friend with the fact that he was well-read.

  “Yeah, a lot is lost in translation. I’ve read most Russian classics in both languages, so you missed a lot,” Marina said casually and made Liam stare at her again.

  The fact that his mother was a literature professor did explain why her son was so studious. She probably nurtured Kevin’s love for books as well. My heart was expanding, just for the fact that I realized how lucky Kev was to be part of such a wonderful family. It was obvious why he loved them so much.

  “You know Liam is fluent in Russian, right?” Kevin whispered in my ear like he was finding this funny. “Don’t tell your friend, though.”

  “Why is he lying to her?” I whispered back.

  “He likes her, that’s why. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later.” He winked covertly at me.

  “Hey, what did you bring?” Liam was unwrapping the plate with Marina’s potluck, and his eyes sparkled in delight. “Oh, my God. Syrniki!” He stuffed one pastry in his mouth and moaned in delight.

  “Jesus, Marina. Did you make these?” He looked at her like he was about to drop down on one knee.

  “I don’t cook.” She cut him off like his question offended her. I knew Marina and why she got on edge. She hated the stereotypes about Russian women that they were all submissive, cooked and cleaned, dressed to impress, and were wild in bed. She heard it way too many times, and it bugged her. I don’t think Liam meant anything of the sort, considering what he was telling her earlier about his parents and how their roles were reversed.

  “I cook though, and those are better than mine.” He nodded, still chewing on the pastry.

  “Liam, you shouldn’t be eating those, bro.” Kevin poked him.

  “Shut up, Kevin. Those are made out of cheese. That’s protein. Don’t tell me you don’t want one?” Liam grabbed the plate like he was afraid his brother would steal it. Those big guys were like children sometimes.

  “Hey, how about you two take your protein snack or whatever you call it, and go fight over it outside. You said you’d leave Marina and me to have some girl time, remember?” I rushed them out of the kitchen and towards the balcony.

  Kevin and Liam didn’t argue and followed my direction, heading to the terrace. Once Marina and I were alone, and they were out of earshot, I leaned to her and whispered, “So, what’s the verdict?”

  My friend pouted her lips and scrunched her nose. “First, too bad I don’t date rich guys. Second, Trevor and I are moving in together.” Marina dropped two pieces of news at once, and both were something I had heard for the first time.

  “I had no idea you were that serious about Trevor,” I replied. She did mention the guy a few times, but she wasn’t gushing or declaring her undying love for him. And it was not like Marina to take a big step like moving in with someone on a whim. She was independent, but I knew she also searched for love and wouldn’t settle for someone out of convenience.

  “He is good to me, Lauren,” she simply responded, but then changed the subject. “What about you and Kevin? It's obvious you are into each other, so what’s the holdup?”

  I stared at her, unable to speak because she was coming to some conclusions that were too farfetched.

  “I told you about our history, Mari.” I tried to correct her assumption, but it was difficult to put into words what I felt for Kevin.

  “And? Things change, and relationships evolve. Maybe once you were like siblings, had this idealistic friendship, but seriously, Laurie. That guy wants you bad, and you are all starry-eyed around him. You have chemistry from here to the end of the universe. I was sweating just watching you two eye-fuck.” She, of course, put it in completely unapologetic words.

  I didn’t know what to say, but my eyes watered because this was too much to hope for. Marina put her hand over mine and squeezed my fingers gently.

  “Where is your room, babe? Let's go talk in private about this,” she offered.

  I nodded to her grateful she was here for me and showed her the way. Once I sat down on my bed, and she closed the door, the tears flowed, followed by my confession. This time I didn’t share with Marina my stories, but my feelings. I told her about the confusing emotions I had for Kevin in the last two weeks and what happened last night. I didn’t spare details even though this time I was oversharing, telling her about the fire he unleashed inside me with one kiss. She listened like the amazing friend she was and then hugged my shoulder.

  “Oh, babe, this is seriously the most romantic story I’ve heard. I don’t know much about love, since it has avoided me for the last twenty-two years, but you and Kevin – this is what I imagine it might be when you find the perfect person for you. Don’t you see – he loved your soul when you were a little girl, now he sees the rest, and wants that too.”

  “What do I do, Mari? You are saying its love, but what if this is just some fleeting passion like what I had with Jaxon? What if it’s not lasting and it ends – even if it’s a year or two in the future, I am going to lose him. He is too important to me. Last time I fell apart and suffered for twelve years when I lost him. This is going to destroy me.” I told her my biggest fear. Marina was silent, thinking over my words.

  “Listen, Laurie. What options do you have? Things have already changed, and you both know it. Either you explore the new feelings you have for each other or that pent up sexual tension will be what destroys your friendship. I can’t help you with the questions about love, but my Mom told me something once. We had this existential conversation about the meaning of life and death, and she said this: ‘When I think of love, what scares me the most is death.’ So, when you find some
one you think you might love, just ask yourself how it would feel if you lose them forever. She said if someone asked her when she wants to die, she would tell them a day before my Dad, so she never has to know that feeling of losing him.”

  Marina, as usual, was putting things into perspective, finding the right words to make me sort my feelings. She was right that my feelings for Kevin had already changed irreversibly and simply being friends was not going to be enough for me.

  “How about we figure out how you get that lover boy to make a move?” Marina smiled.

  “That’s where I’m lost. Kevin tried to apologize about last night, so I doubt he’ll touch me again anytime soon.” I contemplated out loud, but I guess I was in agreement with Marina that I was out of other options.

  “Ha, so you are lucky you have me, then. I know one thing about men - they freak out when they think they are losing you. Make him jealous, Laurie, and he’ll be ripping your clothes off. Jealous sex is the best, you know. Guys feel they have something to prove.” She winked.

  “You talking from experience, I see.” I poked her.

  “You don’t have to ask. I didn’t even have to flirt with someone to make Trevor freak out. I was looking for an apartment, but since I can’t afford to live by myself, I had to find something with roommates. I just told him I didn’t care if I share a place with a guy or a girl, and next thing I know, Trevor was breaking his lease and asking me to move in with him.”

  “Wow. So, what – you are moving in as roommates then? That doesn’t sound romantic.” I pointed out.

  “Until an hour ago, I thought it was romantic, but now I wonder? It’s not like Trevor has me inked on his heart or anything…” she teased me. “Let’s go, Laurie. Go flirt with that hot piece of ass – Liam. It seems like your Kevin already has some rivalry thing going on with his brother, so it would be a piece of cake.”

  “Hot piece of ass, hm?” I nudged her with my elbow. Marina was so obvious that she found Liam attractive.

  “Don’t even go there…I am in a committed relationship. He is hot, but not my type.” She declared.

  I didn’t want to push her on that, but knowing Marina, Liam was totally her type – she liked intelligent men who could challenge her in conversation, not only match her passion for life. I hoped that her boyfriend was all of the above, and she was not simply settling out of convenience.

  Marina’s idea to flirt with Liam was absolutely out the window as soon as we went out to the balcony. He took one look at my friend and was by her side, completely ignoring Kevin and me. Mari didn’t even realize it, but she fell into an argument with him about Russian food, and twenty minutes later, they were both heading to some European market in search of some ingredient that Liam wanted to prove to her was the best food on earth.

  He was totally besotted and wanted to impress Marina with his domestic skill in the kitchen. She gave me an apologetic smile, but then just before they left, my friend remembered something and reached into her purse.

  “Hey, babe. I got something for you.” She gave me an envelope which I recognized. It had the address of the correctional institution in San Pedro where Max and Tyron were serving their prison sentence. My heart dropped into my stomach. My old friends and I wrote to each other once a month, and they sent their letters to a P.O. Box, but our last exchange was two weeks ago. I worried something must have happened since then if they were reaching out to me through Marina.

  “Max sent this to me and told me to give you the letter in person because it was important, and he didn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands,” she said. “Read it, and when I’m back, we can talk.”

  Kevin came to me when they were gone, and he had a big smile on his face.

  “I think Liam got struck by thunder. After all you told me about Marina, I knew Liam would forget his vocabulary when he met her,” he joked.

  “Yeah, sadly for him, Marina has a serious boyfriend.” I crushed his enthusiasm, imagining his brother finding his big love in my friend. His smile faded, but he wasn’t thinking of Liam. He was looking at me.

  “Is everything okay, Lauren? You seem upset.” He brushed a finger to the side of my cheek. I looked at the envelope in my hand, and my fingers trembled because it was burning my skin, urging me to read it.

  “I got a letter from a friend, Kev. Do you mind if I go read it in my room? It’s something personal…” I didn’t want to hurt Kevin’s feelings or let him think I was hiding secrets from him, but he still didn’t know about Max and Tyron.

  “Of course, Lauren. Let me know if you need to talk, okay. I am here for you. Always.” He whispered in my hair when he hugged me. This part of our friendship was still there, unaffected by all other confusion or turmoil, and I needed his reassurance that he was first and foremost my friend.

  I went to my room, sat on the bed, and with trembling fingers, ripped open the letter. It was short, but every word hit me hard. He addressed me as Marisa, the fake identity I used to communicate with my friends. We were afraid their correspondence might be monitored and didn’t want my father to be suspicious I was keeping in touch with Max and Ty. This is why they sent me letters to a P.O. Box, and I pretended to be some pen pal who wrote to inmates.

  The letter was from Max who said he was writing to me to let me know our mutual friend Tyron was in the hospital. He got in a fight with another inmate and was beaten pretty badly. He was taken to the infirmary with broken ribs and a bruised face but was doing well. This made me stop reading, so I could wipe the tears from my eyes and be able to focus on the rest of the short note. This was happening again, and my poor Ty took another bad hit because of me. I knew it wasn’t a coincidence.

  The next sentence was cryptic and possibly the most important reason he sent me this urgent mail.

  “My mom came to visit and had some news about three years ago. I can tell you about it if you come to visit me as we discussed.”

  What did his mom tell him? He knew I couldn’t go visit him, so what message was he trying to send me?

  I was confused, heartbroken, and worried for my two old friends. I had no idea what to do, but suddenly I knew who I needed to calm down the storm. I rushed to the door, opened it, and saw Kevin sitting on the couch like he was waiting anxiously for me to reach out to him.

  “I need you, Kev!” I said through tears, and in a second, he was by my side, taking me into his arms.

  We sat on my bed, and he adjusted some of my pillows to the headboard to make me feel more comfortable. He somehow knew this was not going to be a short conversation. He offered me once again the comfort of his body, and I clung to him, wrapping my arm around his abdomen.

  I started from the beginning and told him how I had met Max and Tyron, how they had helped me when I ran away from home. I shared the whole story of how our stupid night of drinking turned into a nightmare. I admitted my guilt, that I blamed myself, because I suggested the three of us should go to Texas, and that’s why they stole the car and the money. Not only that, but I barely got a slap on the wrist because my loyal friends covered my back and took the blame. Kevin’s muscled arm tightened, and his voice came out raspy.

  “You wanted to come and find me, didn’t you?” he asked. I only nodded and felt his heart sprint in his chest.

  I got to the hard part but told Kevin how my father imprisoned me by striking a “deal” forbidding me from visiting my friends or having any contact with them. In return, he would use his position to get them an easier sentence. I showed him the letter from Max and cried while he read it.

  “My father is trying to send me a message, Kev. It’s not a coincidence Tyron was badly beaten. That bastard knows the prison’s director, and he did this last time I broke our ‘deal’.”

  “What happened, Lauren?” Kevin was on edge like he was starting to grasp the gravity of the control my father held over me.

  “I lied that I was going on a school trip, then I faked food poisoning and threw up next to the bus. I told the teacher I was g
oing home, but I had some money saved, so I got a bus ticket and went to San Pedro to visit my friends. My Dad found out. Apparently, his friend had my name on a watch list, and when it popped in the database of visitors, my father was immediately alerted. He was waiting for me outside the prison before I even finished my two-hour visit with Max and Ty.

  “He told me I’d pay for what I did, breaking his rules, and then a week later, Max was accused of stealing money from another inmate, which was a total set up. Both my friends were given privileges, considering they are actually really good guys. Tyron worked in the prison’s recreation department maintaining the sports facilities and even coached football to some inmates. He was a rising star in high school and could have gotten a college offer, but it was all taken away in just one night. Max is also a smart guy and was in community college before he got sentenced. After my father had his revenge, they took away his job in the prison library, Kev. Even now, that monster is hurting my friends to shut me up…” I admitted through tears.

  “To shut you up about what, Lauren?” Kevin’s voice was hoarse, his whole body tensed. I had to tell him the whole truth.

  “The day he hit me was because I threatened to go to the press and tell them that he wanted me to stay quiet about my attempted rape. He wants to avoid scandal that might affect his re-election campaign. This is his insurance policy, Kev. He wants me to know that if I speak publicly against him, he still holds my friend’s fate in his hands.” I took a deep breath, ready to tell Kevin that he was also in danger, but he somehow had a clue.

  “I know that asshole who assailed you was going to file criminal charges against me. Did you make another deal on my behalf with your father, Lauren?” He didn’t sound happy about it.

  “I had to, Kevin. I know you think I did the wrong thing and should have gone to the police, but as much as I hate it, I’ve learned that the justice system is broken in so many ways. Rich, privileged boys get away with minimum sentences, and that monster, even if he was found guilty, would have gotten away with a few months at best. Unlike my black friends, who even without prior offenses and good citizenship records, were given three and a half years. I couldn’t risk anything happening to you, Kev. My father is a powerful man and wouldn’t hesitate to use his influence to make your life hell.”