A Selfish Kind of Love

by Bella Jay

  Twenty minutes later Dasiah’s front door slammed making the walls shake. His ex girlfriend had shown up unannounced. “Um…” Tessah said, pulling her lip in. She’d spoke up the devil. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” he grumbled, holding his head. His veins pulsated.

  “That was Avelyn, huh?” She sat on the arm of the couch. The world was too small. Her brother dated Landon’s girlfriend - or whatever they were these days - twin sister.

  “The thorn in my side, ass, entire fucking body. That fucking girl, man.” He huffed and Tessah shook her head. He’d told her all about him and Avelyn’s struggle bus relationship. Avelyn and her sister were two different breeds of women.

  Dasiah grabbed his blunt off his coffee table and lit it. “I just—” He placed the blunt to his lips and inhaled then shrugged. “I can’t deal with her bullshit. She told me some foul shit, and I don’t wanna discuss it.”

  Tessah nodded. She wouldn’t push him on the subject. Besides, she’d rather them spend their sibling time in bliss instead of angst. Though it was clear Avelyn had ruined her brother’s entire mood. Bitch.

  Two hours later, Tessah laid curled on Dasiah’s couch talking to Kyree. She missed him so much her heart ached. It was the longest they’d gone without seeing one another since they’d started dating. “I miss you,” she purred.

  “Stop talking dirty.”

  “Boy!” Tessah sniggered. “Don’t ruin my moment.”

  “My bad. I miss you too. I’m glad everything is going good with yo bro though.”

  “Me too. I still can’t believe it. I keep thinking I will wake up and it was all a dream. Including you.”

  “Me?” Skepticism laced his voice.

  Tessah pulled in her lips. “Yeah. I’m very thankful for you, Ky. For whatever it is we’re building and doing and all the in between. For you and your mom help with this especially, I’ll forever be grateful babe.”

  “Damn babe… don’t make a G cry.”

  Tessah shook her head with a smile as she toyed with the sun pendant on the necklace he’d given her. “You at Cherry’s school yet?”

  “Almost. I hate when Chan wait until the last minute to ask me to get her. I was way on the east side.”

  Tessah rolled her eyes. Chandra hadn’t been an issue as of late but the mention of her still irked her. She realized it wasn’t because of jealousy but the thought she’d have to deal with her for forever —

  Stop, she chastised herself. She’d been thinking way too much about her and Kyree’s future. The what ifs of it all. Their wedding —

  Stop!

  The thought of them having a future together flooded her with joy but she hadn’t even admitted to him or herself if she loved him.

  That she loved him.

  ❖❖❖

  Kyree ended his call with Tessah as he pulled up to Cherry’s daycare. He jogged inside and Cherry greeted him with the biggest smile, expanding his heart.

  “Hey baby girl.” He scooped her into his arms and kissed her cheek.

  “Hi daddy!”

  He turned his attention to her teacher. “As always, my bad Sherita.”

  “It’s fine. I need to talk to you real quick. If you don’t mind.”

  “Cool.” He placed Cherry down. “Go play with the toys.”

  “Okay!” She scurried off.

  “What’s up?”

  Sherita’s discomfort bounced off of her. “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything but for the past few weeks, Cherry hasn’t been coming to school as put together as she used to be.”

  “What do you mean?” His eyes ventured to his daughter. Her hair was all over the place but he’d assumed it’d gotten like that during the day.

  “Chandra has been dropping her off sometimes with the same clothes or dirty clothes from the day before and her hair undone. If this was common, I wouldn’t say anything, but it seems unusual to me.” Kyree’s jaw tightened. “But what raised a flag for me, the other day when she dropped her off, Chandra didn’t look well. Her outside appearance wasn’t the Chandra I know who’s always dressed as if she’s going somewhere. Something seemed off with her, not only her appearance.”

  Angst and anger poured through every fiber in his skin. One thing he’d always admired about Chandra was how well she took care of her appearance. She always went the extra mile. If Chandra had fallen back into a destructive path, his heart would break for his daughter.

  “When I said something to her about it, she caught an attitude with me. I don’t want to get my boss involved but those are minor signs of neglect we’re supposed to note. I wanted to talk to you first.”

  “Damn. Thanks for looking out, Rita.” He had no words beyond those. “I appreciate it.”

  Sherita nodded as he called to Cherry. One thing he wouldn’t stand for, was Chandra dropping the ball with his daughter.

  Kyree peeled out of the parking lot and called his cousin.

  “Hey fav!” Shayla’s lighthearted voice flowed into his ear. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

  “I need to drop Cherish off to you. You home?”

  “Right now? Shit… we’re about to head out to a shoot.”

  He sighed, hating to put her coins at risk. “It’s an emergency Shay. For like an hour.”

  “Damn, damn, damn,” she mumbled. “One sec let me see if Hannah can come along.” She put him on pause as she asked her intern if she could work later which was code for baby sit. “Okay. Hannah will watch her for me. What’s wrong?”

  “Chan man… I’ll explain to you later.”

  He dropped Cherry off with his cousin and made a beeline for Chandra’s house. He didn’t want to fight or argue with her but he’d be damned if he would let her subject their daughter to anything less than she deserved.

  “Where’s Cherry?” Chandra asked with a complete attitude after she swung open the door. “Last time you showed up here without her, you were on bullshit.”

  “We need to talk.” He entered her home and forced himself to sit on the couch instead of searching for evidence. Bags sat under Chandra’s eyes and oversized sweats and a tank top clad her body, but beyond that, nothing stood out.

  “About what? You’re here to chastise me again about your little girlfriend. Add salt to my wounds on what we won’t ever be?”

  Kyree rested his elbows on his knees and squeezed his palms together. “I need you to be 110 percent honest with me,” his brown eyes pierced hers, “have you been drinking or doing any drugs?”

  Chandra waved her arms in the air. “Are you on this bull crap again?”

  “Sherita said—”

  “She needs to mind her business. Whatever she told you is because she’s always been jealous of me! She wanted you back in the day, don’t act like you forgot.”

  “She’s married now.”

  “Yeah well I heard her marriage is going down. Whatever she told you is a lie.”

  “You haven’t been dropping Cherry off not put together? Old clothes and shit? You ain’t show up looking like shit your damn self?”

  “I’m a damn single mother! We have our days. I put her on something dirty,” she shrugged, “it was an accident. I’ve been sick.”

  Her attitude, demeanor, everything about her wasn’t authentic. He wouldn’t even touch on her ‘single mother’ comment because he was very active in his daughter’s life. “Yes or no Chandra. Have you relapsed or been drinking?”

  “No.” She opened her entire mouth to let the word out. “Check my trash and whatever else if you don’t believe me.”

  Kyree stood. He wanted to. His body itched to check for evidence but he didn’t. “Cherry will stay with me tonight since you’re sick. Get some rest.”

  ❖❖❖

  “I just got back and you’re already leaving me?” Tessah coo’d as she teased Kyree with her nude body. “At least bless me with a quickie. Q will understand.”

  Kyree licked his lips as she fumbled with his belt buckle. There was no way he would say n
o. He needed the relaxation only Tessah gave him. After not being near her for over a week, his body required it to sustain itself.

  “Well satisfy your man then,” he egged her on.

  “Oh,” she grazed her lips against his, “I plan to do more than satisfy him.”

  She unzipped his pants and pushed them to the ground. Her eyes never left his as she spit into her hand and fondled his penis. A seductive smirk danced on her stunning face before she used her tongue to tease his neck. His chest. His nipples. And all the way to the part of him most happy to see her. When her lips kissed the tip of his dick, he moaned in delight.

  “I missed you,” she purred.

  “He missed you too.” His eyes took her in - as sexy as ever. “Put him in your mouth, baby.”

  She responded with his request, and Kyree threw his head back against the wall. With each lick, suck, and light caress with her nails, he lost himself. She sucked his soul from the tip of his head through his core and to his toes.

  “Fuck, Tess,” he growled, his fingers clutched her hair. She bobbed her head and slavered on his dick. Saliva dripped down on to his thighs. Her warm mouth released him and she smiled at him with joy. Lust pierced her eyes as she looked at him before she enveloped his nut sack with her mouth. “Shit.” He stroked himself.

  “Mmm,” she hummed and his penis grew. “Cum on me baby.” She begged and he let his load skeet out of him and marinate her chest.

  “Come ride me,” he demanded, falling back on the bed.

  Tessah threw her head back and bit her lip the moment he pushed through her tightness. “Fuck, I missed you,” she cried.

  “I missed you too baby.” He held her hips as she found her rhythm and he let her have her way with him.

  A quickie turned into a full on session and his brother had blown up his phone by the time he arrived to their fitting appointment. He strolled into the tuxedo shop an hour late with pep in his step. “The man of the hour is here!”

  “We have downgraded you, I’m the best man now,” his cousin, Sean, said. Sean was one of eleven of Kyree’s cousins.

  “Sean you only in the wedding in the first place because my mama made him pick you.”

  “Fuck off,” Sean clapped back.

  “He ain’t lying though,” Quint said, coming out the back dressed to perfection in a burgundy suit with black accents and a white shirt. Quint and Ryan’s wedding colors were burgundy and navy.

  “Fuck both of y’all.” Sean flipped them off as the three shared a laugh.

  “I did almost replace your ass with Shay though; not Sean ass.” Sean kissed his teeth at Quint’s comment. “Where the fuck you been?”

  “Tee came back today.” He grinned.

  The sides of Quint’s lips turned down. “So you were fucking?”

  “Hell yeah I was,” he said, skipping to the back to get fitted.

  Kyree took himself in. “Damn. You see what Wilamina and Ray made?” He pulled at the suit jacket. The burgundy hue of the suit kissed his skin.

  “Yeah, I see me.” Quint smirked. “I’m glad I won that bet against Ryan about who gets the burgundy suits because damn.” He ran his hand down his face.

  Kyree waved him off. “Nigga you look okay.” Quint rolled his eyes as Kyree’s phone rang. “Yo Sean, hand me my phone.”

  “It’s Chan,” he said, handing him the device.

  Kyree groaned.

  “Man y’all stay having problems,” Quint said, chuckling.

  “Hey, what’s—”

  “I fucked up, I fucked up!” Chandra shrilled.

  The panic sent a chill through him. “Chan what the fuck you talking about?”

  “Cherish! I fucked up.”

  His heart plummeted into his feet. “Where are you? What the fuck happened?”

  “Arnold Palmer hospital,” she cried. “I fucked up Ky. I - I -”

  Kyree ended the call and rushed to his things. “I gotta go. Cherry’s in the hospital. Chan was crying and shit.”

  “The hospital?” Quint and Sean reiterated. “I’m coming with you,” Quint said as Kyree almost ripped the door off its hinges.

  “Y’all go. I’ll let the owner know what happened,” Sean assured them as they dashed out of the shop.

  Kyree broke every traffic law to get to the children’s hospital in downtown Orlando.

  “What happened?” he asked as soon as he laid eyes on a red eyed Chandra outside the emergency room. “Where is she? Is she okay?”

  “She got into my purse. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I found her with my pill bottle open and placing one in her mouth. I got it out but wasn’t sure if she took anymore.”

  Kyree’s whole face twitched. Her pill bottle. She had fallen off track like he’d suspected. His heart beat moved at such a speed his stability faltered. “Is she okay?” he repeated, preparing for the worst.

  “Yes,” Chandra said, reaching for him but he pulled away. She recoiled and sighed. “They told me right before I came to meet you. They’re bringing her down soon. She didn’t have any pills or poison in her system.”

  Kyree’s body shuddered. He wanted to take his anger out on something. “How could you be so fucking stupid again? And how could you leave the pills somewhere she could get to them?!” His voice boomed, drawing attention to them.

  “It was an accident!” Chandra yelled back.

  “She could’ve fucking died!” he boosted as his brother appeared at his side.

  “Is she okay?” Quint asked.

  “Q please tell him I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “Fuck what you meant!” Kyree stormed inside the building.

  “Kyree!” she cried but didn’t follow him.

  He needed a minute. He stepped into the empty elevator and pressed a button though he had nowhere to go. As soon as the doors closed, he collapsed into a squat as tears spilled out of his eyes.

  She’s okay.

  She would be alright but the small inkling of uncertainty had disturbed his soul.

  “Hey babe,” Tessah’s upbeat voice flowed through his ear drum as he slumped in a chair in the emergency room. “You on your way back? Should I be naked?”

  “I need you.”

  His solemn voice must have set off an alarm as she said, “Kyree what’s wrong?”

  “I’m at Arnold Palmer. It’s Cherry—”

  “Oh my God!”

  “She’s okay but I need you right now.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  Tessah was by his side so quick it was as if she’d teleported. They sat outside the emergency room while he gave her a rundown of all he knew. Quint kept Chandra company and Kyree was grateful. The further she stayed away from him, the better.

  “You think she’s been back on drugs for a while?” Tessah questioned.

  Kyree shook his head. “I can’t say. Cherry’s teacher noticed some unusual shit the last few weeks, and I found wine coolers in her fridge.” He placed his elbows on his knees. “But I ain’t want to accept it even after I asked her if she had been drinking or anything. I ain’t want to think she’d do this shit again.”

  Tessah rested her head on his shoulder. Her beside him brought his soul peace.

  “It wasn’t until recent I stopped blaming myself for the path she veered down,” he admitted. “She spun her wrongdoings and fuck ups so well I questioned my role in it. My fuck ups as a man had me abandoning her with a one month old baby. Her postpartum had to be my fault.” He vented and Tessah listened without interruption. “When the prescription for her depression ended, she had easy access to the illegal ones I sold. I left her with a good amount to sell but she took them instead. It was hard not to think if I hadn’t gone to prison then she wouldn’t have done any of that.”

  “You didn’t force her to take the drugs and postpartum happens to many women. None of that was your fault. Definitely not her cheating on you.”

  “Shay and my mom pushed me to see that but being with you helped me break away from
the guilt I still held.”

  Tessah grabbed his face and turned it to her. She leaned into him and they shared a soft intimate kiss. As they pulled back, Tessah ran her thumb over his chin. “I l—”

  “What is she doing here?” Chandra’s voice cut Tessah off. “You’re out here with her but can’t comfort me?”

  “Comfort you?” His veins in his neck poked out. “You’re the reason we’re here!”

  “You’re not going to demean me in front of her.”

  “Chan chill out,” Quint spoke.

  “I don’t deserve this shit Q!” she cried.

  Her watered eyes only fueled Kyree’s fire. “I don’t even know why you’re still here. You might as well go home and pack my daughter’s shit.”

  “What are you talking about? Pack her shit for what?”

  Kyree frowned. “You can’t think I’m about to let her go with you.”

  “She’s MY daughter. You’re definitely not about to take her somewhere with this bitch.”

  Tessah’s demeanor shifted beside him. “Bitch?” she repeated. “I d—”

  “No.” Kyree placed his hand against her abdomen, cutting her off. “I told you not to disrespect her. I’m not finna say it again Chandra. Our issues and what we have going on ain’t got shit to do with her. Whether you like it, as long as she’s with me, she will be in Cherry’s life. And if you ever fuck up like this again — you won’t be.”

  “You can’t take my daughter away from me Kyree. I’m her mother!”

  “And you endangered her so she’s moving in with me.” A soft gasp escaped Tessah’s mouth. He hoped she’d be cool with moving in with him and his daughter now full time because Cherry’s well-being came first. “You can see her as long as someone else is around.”

  Chandra chortled. “You must be joking. I’m not having supervised visits with my child unless you take me to court.”

  “I’m not taking her through that but you will not fight me on this either.” The words rolled off his tongue with conviction.

  “The hell I won’t!”

  “Chandra you have a drug problem. You need help.”

  “I don’t!”