The Power of Moments
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Abel: killing of, 49
Abelson, Robert, 71
“above and beyond,” 221–22
accountability, 90, 168, 187, 195, 197
action, 262–63
ADHD: Strattera drug for, 149–50
age, 13, 84, 86, 88
Ahmad, Rabia, 152–53, 154
All-Staff Assembly, Sharp, 208–11, 210n, 212–13, 222, 247, 255, 263
Allen, Sam, 21
Alter, Adam, 25–26
anniversaries, 166–67
anxiety conversations, 188–90
Aron, Art, 243–45, 248
audience discovery, 104–5, 132. See also crystallization of discontent
babies: important events in life of, 83–84
baby shower story, 221–22
The Bachelor (TV show), 243, 243n
“Back to School” night (Stanton Elementary School), 229
backward-integrated design, 107–11
Baehrens, Deborah, 221–22
Baez, Joan, 143
baggage, customer’s, 240–41, 248
Ballmer, Steve, 104
Barbic, Chris, 1–3, 5
Barry, Michael J., 236
Baumeister, Roy, 13, 103–4
Beck, Scott, 76–77
Bedford, Susan, 47–53, 49n, 62, 64
Berntsen, Dorthe, 83–84
Berry, Leonard, 28, 55–56
birthdays, 18–19, 25–26, 44, 71, 87, 182, 213
Bisognano, Johnny, 235–36
Bisognano, Maureen, 235–36, 238
Blakely, Sara, 127–30, 133
bomb-disposal operator, 183, 185
bonding. See shared meaning
boosting sensory appeal and elevation, 61–62, 62n, 63, 71, 87, 90–91, 134–35, 250
making moments matter and, 254
“silo” mentality and, 250
Boy Scouts, 171, 175
Boynton, Katie, 75–76
Branch, Taylor, 181
breaking the script
advantages of, 72
and The Bachelor TV show, 243n
and change, 78–83, 87–88
definition of, 87
and elevation, 61, 69–92, 134–35, 157, 197, 249
expectations and, 70–71, 73, 87
and getting outside the office, 81–83
making moments matter and, 254, 257, 263
and prevalence of scripts, 72
purpose of, 83, 86
and randomness, 73
and remembering what we do, 83–86
“silo” mentality and, 249
and surprise, 71–72, 74–78, 85–86, 87
and time, 84–86, 88
Bryant, Melissa, 227–28, 229
business start-ups, 113–16, 132
Butler, Angela, 177
Cain: mock trial of, 49
car lease-death example, 28
Carbone, Lewis, 20
career changes, 258–62
caregivers
and connections, 205–11, 212–13, 247, 248
and “what matters to you,” 236–37, 248
caring, and deepening ties, 232, 233, 234, 239, 241–42, 248
celebrations, 166, 171, 213. See also specific occasion
Chadwell, Lea, 113–16, 117, 120, 131, 132
Chadwell, Sam, 114
change
career, 258–62
See also breaking the script; surprise; “trip over the truth”
Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh, 32–33
Chiles, Cynthia, 191
Chiluzi, Umelu, 99
Chinese restaurant: clinic about, 134–36
Christ, George, 109
civil rights movement, 177–81, 185, 193. See also Nashville, Tennessee
Clark, Josh, 159–61
clinics
and boss has flash of insight, 196–99
and improving a restaurant, 134–36
and missed moments of retail banking, 37–39
purpose of, 37, 89
and refreshing meetings, 89–92
and “silo” mentality, 249–52
clothes: at peak events, 62
cloud computing, 104, 105, 106
CLTS (Community-Led Total Sanitation), 99–102, 103–4, 105, 106, 132, 255
college
admission to, 253–55
remembering, 9
See also Signing Day (YES Prep School)
color slides study, 191–92
coming of age rituals, 19. See also specific ritual
common sense, 28, 29
Community-Led Total Sanitation. See CLTS
connecting to meaning, 207–11, 219–20, 247
connections
and building peaks, 61
characteristics of, 14, 16, 246, 247
and “Couch to 5K” program, 162
and courage, 211
and deepening ties, 136, 198, 223–46
as element of defining moments, 14, 15, 16, 43, 91–92, 135–36, 157, 198, 252
emotions and, 157
group, 203–4, 205–13, 214–16, 247
intimacy and, 241–46
and making moments matter, 255, 257, 263, 266
to meaning, 207–11, 219–20, 247
overview about, 203–4
and pain/struggle, 214–16, 247
and pride, 211
and purpose, 219, 221, 247
purpose of, 203, 247
role-playing and, 91
and shared meaning, 92, 198, 204, 205–22, 247, 251, 252
“silo” mentality and, 251–52
as social moments, 203
and thinking in moments, 39
and time, 247
and timing of defining moments, 34
whirlwind review of, 247–48
See also celebrations; relationships
contributions, and shared meaning, 220–21
Cool Runnings, 161
cooperation: fostering, 249–52
Corporate Executive Board (CEB), 239–41
“Couch to 5K” program, 13–14, 159–62
courage
and connections, 211
as contagious, 193, 195
creating moments of, 182–88
definition of, 181
and ethics education, 186–88, 195, 198
exposure therapy and, 183–85
and “implementation intentions,” 185–87
and making moments matter, 257
and managing fear, 183–85
and military, 182–83
practicing, 140, 177–93, 194, 195, 198, 251, 257
and pride, 139, 140, 177–93, 194, 195, 197, 198, 251
and protest movements, 177–81, 189
and resolve of others, 190–93
and role playing, 180–81, 185, 188–89
“silo” mentality and, 251
Course Design Institute (CDI) (University of Virginia), 106–11
crystallization of discontent, 103–5, 116, 259–60
Cuijpers, Pim, 190
Cullowhee Experience, 142
culture, and defining moments, 18–19
Cummins Northeast. See Phelps, Dale
customers
baggage of, 240–41, 248, 256
and breaking the script, 73–77
connections with, 205–11, 239–41, 248
deepening ties with, 239–41, 248
and elevation, 55–60, 73–76
and flipping pits into peaks, 29
Forester survey about, 56–60
and making moments matter, 256
and offense versus defense, 55–56
See also specific organization
Dai, Hengchen, 25
Daniel, Darcy, 263–65
Daniel, Wendy, 263–65
D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education), 190
death
and car leases, 28
and deepening ties, 235–36
of Dinneen’s patient, 118–20
elevation and, 65–68
&n
bsp; and important events in life of babies, 84
and making moments matter, 256–57, 258, 263
of O’Kelly, 65–68
and Perfect Moments, 66–68
responsiveness and, 235–36
role-playing about reactions to, 188
and thinking in moments, 28, 36, 39
See also grief
deepening ties
and caring, 232, 233, 234, 239, 241–42, 248
connections and, 136, 198, 223–46
and customers, 239–41, 248
and health care, 234–48
and making moments matter, 254
and relationship theory, 231–38
responsiveness and, 231–38, 239–41
at Stanton Elementary School, 223–31
and understanding, 232, 233, 234, 239, 241–42, 248
and validation, 232, 233, 234, 239, 241–42, 248
defining moments
characteristics of, 5, 252, 265
creation of, 5, 16, 37–39, 89–92, 134–36, 196–99, 249–52
culture and, 18–19
definition of, 4, 12
elements of, 12–16, 43, 89–92, 134–36, 157
emotions and, 4, 14
examples of, 4–5
and fixing problems, 256–58
and flipping pits into peaks, 28–33
importance of, 4–6, 18–22, 255–56
investing in, 11–12, 18–22
and length of experience, 8, 12
negative, 14, 27, 28–33, 95
positive, 14
relics of, 16
and thinking in moments, 17–39
timing of, 33–34
transitions as natural, 19, 37, 171
why we remember, 6–16
See also specific topic
Deloitte’s, 35
Dietz, Doug, 29–33, 43
Dinneen, Michael, 118–20, 132
direction + support, 123, 127, 132
Disney, 27, 207
Disney World: trip to, 6–7, 8–9
divorce, 38
Doka, Kenneth, 22–24
DonorsChoose, 151–55
dreams, 64–65, 132
drug programs, 190
Dull, Stephen, 78–83
Duncan, Arne, 4
Duncan, Craig, 163
duration neglect, 8
Dylan, Bob, 143
Eagleman, David, 85–86
Easter Vigil Service, Honig-intern at, 121–22, 255
Edgman-Levitan, Susan, 236
Elam, Mike, 245–46
Elevate the Positives Plan, 56–61, 60n
elevation
and The Bachelor TV show, 243n
boosting sensory appeal and, 61–62, 62n, 63, 71, 87, 90–91, 134–35, 250
breaking the script and, 61, 69–92, 134–35, 157, 197, 249
and building peaks, 45–68, 243n
and celebrations, 166, 171
characteristics of, 12–13, 16
and Chinese restaurant clinic, 134–35
and “Couch to 5K” program, 161
definition of, 43
as element of defining moments, 12–13, 15, 16, 43, 90–91, 134–35, 157, 197
and flipping pits into peaks, 33
importance/purpose of, 44, 87, 139
introduction to, 43–44
lessening of, 63
and making moments matter, 253, 255, 257, 263, 266
and pits, 43, 52, 54–61
and raising stakes, 61, 62, 63, 71, 87, 90, 121, 243n, 250
and reasonableness, 63, 88
recipe for, 87
“silo” mentality and, 249–50
as spontaneous, 44
and thinking in moments, 33
and timing of defining moments, 34
and transitions, 44
whirlwind review of, 87–88
Eleven Madison Park (restaurant), 135
Eli Lilly, 148–50, 194
Eliminate the Negatives Plan, 56–61, 60n
emotions, 4, 14, 52, 96, 157, 252
employees
and breaking the script, 74, 77
competencies of, 170–71
and connections, 207–11, 212–13, 215, 216–18, 221–22, 241
and creating defining moments, 265
and deepening ties, 233–34, 241
discretion of, 74, 77
first-day of, 265
and making moments matter, 256
motivation of, 145–46, 256
promotion of, 170–71
recognition of, 145–46, 158, 194, 234
and responsiveness, 233–34
and shared meaning, 207–11, 212–13, 215, 216–18, 221–22
See also jobs; specific organization
endings, 9, 35. See also peak-end rule
EPIC acronym, 15, 15n
Episcopal Church of the Redeemer (Eagle Pass, Texas): meetings at, 89–92
ethics education, 186–88, 195, 198
Ettl, Scott, 171–73, 175
Eurich, Tasha, 198
exercise, 13–14, 25, 159–62, 173–75. See also “Couch to 5K” program; marathons
expectations, 56, 70–71, 73, 87, 123–27
“The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness” (Aron study), 143–45
exposure therapy, 183–85
Eyes on the Prize (PBS series), 177
failure
and flipping pits into peaks, 28–33
normalization of, 130
and stretch for insight, 117, 119, 121, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133
feedback: negative, 95
Fillmore, Millard, 172, 175
Fink, L. Dee, 108
first day
on jobs, 17–18, 19–22, 34, 44, 64
of school, 34–35
Fisherow, Carlie John, 223–29, 247
Fitbit (app), 27, 38, 165–66
fixing problems, 256–58
Flamboyan Foundation, 223, 226–31, 233
Fogarty, Cori, 264
football: Signing Day for, 1–2, 6
Forrester, 56–60, 60n, 61n, 255
Fredrickson, Barbara, 120
free-fall experiment, 85–86
“fresh start” theory, 24–25
Frey, Matthew, 89–92
friends, and connections, 204, 211–13, 222
Fry, Lani Lorenz, 20, 64
funerals, 19
funny flight safety announcement, 74–76
Gallup organization, 233–34
gaming principles: and pride, 140, 162–65
Gandhi, Mahatma, 180
Gatlinburg, Tennessee: student trip to, 143n
General Electric, 29–33, 43, 207
Gentile, Mary, 186–88, 195, 198
Gilbert, Jeff, 51
Gilmore, James, 207
Giving Voice to Values, 186–87
Glassman, Paul, 156–57
“go outside,” 81–83, 87–88, 90, 92
goals
corporate-style, 168, 170–71
and multiplying milestones, 159–62, 163–65, 167–68
and planning, 167–71
setting, 168–69
Golding, William, 45–53
Goldsmith, Marshall, 196–97, 199
Gollwitzer, Peter, 185–86
graduations, 19, 26, 28, 78, 182, 213, 255
Grant, Adam, 219–20
gratitude: expressing, 152–58, 256
grief, 22–24. See also death
group connections, 203–4, 205–13, 214–16, 247
Guthrie, Scott, 104, 105, 106
Hammond, Claudia, 84
Hansen, Morten, 216–18, 247
hard work: and pride, 139, 140
Hauner, Katherina, 185
health care. See caregivers; patients
“helping behavior,” 219
Hershfield, Hal, 25–26
high standards + assurance, 122–23, 127, 132
Hillsdale High School (San Mateo, California), 45–53, 62. See also Trial of Human Natu
re
history: perceptions of, 171–73
holidays, 19. See also celebrations
home visits, parent-teacher, 227–31, 233, 238, 247, 248, 255
Honig, Jim, 121–22, 255
Houben, Benjamin, 188
houses: buying, 37–39
Hughes, Bob, 148–50, 234
Hurn, Chris. See Joshie the giraffe
“implementation intentions,” 185–87
insight
audience discovery and, 104–5, 132
and building peaks, 61
characteristics of, 13, 16
clinic about, 196–99
and direction + support, 123, 127, 132
as element of defining moments, 13, 15, 16, 43, 91, 135, 157, 197
emotions and, 96
and EPIC acronym, 15n
and expectations, 123–27
and failure, 117, 119, 121, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133
and high standards + assurance, 122–23, 133
and learning, 131, 133
and making moments matter, 255, 256, 257, 258–62, 263, 266
mentors and, 121–22, 123–27, 132, 133
overview about, 95–96
and purpose, 219
purpose of, 95–96, 132, 139
and raising stakes, 121, 197
self-, 116, 117–18, 127, 131, 132
as serendipitous, 96
“silo” mentality and, 250
stretch for, 91, 96, 113–33, 135, 197, 250, 256, 258, 263
and “trip over the truth,” 13, 91, 96, 97–111, 132, 196, 197, 250
whirlwind review about, 132–33
Institute for Healthcare Improvement (IHI), 235, 238
intention, 185–87, 262
Intermountain Healthcare, 28–29
intimacy, 241–46, 248
janitor, hospital, 220–21
jobs
accomplishments in, 36
being laid off from, 38
first day on, 17–18, 19–22, 34, 44, 64
first paycheck for, 38
and important events in life of babies, 84
and loss of loved ones, 36
negative feedback in, 36
promotions in, 34, 170–71
retirement from, 35–36
tenure in, 36
and thinking in moments, 17–18, 19–22, 34, 35–36, 38
transitions in, 34
See also career changes; employees
Jobs, Steve, 35
jogging: and milestones, 159–62
John Deere organization, 20–22, 44, 64
Joshie the giraffe, 69–70, 72, 78, 87, 263
Jouriles, Greg, 47–53, 49n, 62, 64
Kamb, Steve, 162–65, 194
Kamentz, Donald, 1–3, 5
Kar, Kamal, 98–102, 98n, 104, 106, 132
Kasten, Julie, 258–60, 262
Kendra: and “what matters to me,” 236–38
languages: learning, 164–65
laughter, 204, 211–13, 222
Lawrence, Deborah, 109
Lawson, James, 180–81, 185, 189
learning
and multiple milestones, 164–65