“What did she say?”
“Nothing she hasn’t said before.” He stops just in front of me, his body close to mine. His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me close until my head rests on his chest. His warm lips press against the top of my head as he kisses me over and over.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry that scumbag did that to you.”
Thickness swells in my throat as the need to cry becomes uncontrollable. Tears break the seal and start to roll over my cheeks. I cry silently in his hold. With every tear that falls I feel a sense of relief. The pain that seizes my chest lessens, and I know it’s because of Leo.
It’s funny, I never realized until today just how much I need him in my life. There was a reason he was brought here, and maybe this is it. Maybe he can heal my broken heart and make me feel again. Because until now, I’d shut down all of my emotions just to block out the pain that Vinny caused.
Chapter Fifteen
Leo
Denying myself Cassie was a stupid idea. I was a fool to believe that I could live here without giving into my desire for her, my animalistic need to be with her. But I know that I have to be honest with Cassie. Lying to myself is one thing, but I know the truth is the only way we can move forward. It’s a risk. I don’t know how she’ll take it, but I have to try to make her mine.
As I sit outside the dance studio in the car, I grow restless. This could be the beginning of the end between me and Cassie, and baring all of my secrets, letting her see the real me is scary as fuck. I hope she can understand. But more than anything, I hope she doesn’t freak out when she knows the truth. Because having to run again and leave her behind would kill me.
My fingers tap repeatedly on the steering wheel, my head flickers constantly to the side as I look for her.
My heart pounds furiously in my chest as I know my fate lies in her hands. But without her, nothing makes sense. After that kiss last night, the way I felt when that asshole turned up, told me what I needed to know. I can’t deny her any longer, and giving in is inevitable.
I check my watch. She’s supposed to finish at eight, but it’s now eight fifteen. My knee taps nervously. Jesus, I’m like an anxious kid. I haven’t felt like this in forever.
How does Cassie Conway have this effect on me?
We have to talk and I’m dreading it. My head is pounding at the thought of what to say to her. How to get her to understand. But I’ve made my decision. I want to be with her, and I’m willing to risk it all.
When Cassie finally emerges from the studio, I can’t help but fidget in my seat. The look of shock is evident on her face and she rushes over to the car. I press on the button, lowering the window.
“You waited?” she asks through the partially open window, surprise in her tone.
“Yes.”
“There was no need, honestly. One of the girls was going to give me a ride home.”
“I wanted to,” I answer, throwing the door open, coaxing her to get in. “We need to talk.”
The smile she had fades and the look of worry overshadows her previously happy one. My heart sinks, but I know that I have to do this. There’s no choice here anymore. To have her in my life means complete honesty. Because living this lie and hurting her in the process isn’t happening. She needs to know who I am, what she’s getting herself into.
“What is it?” Her eyes search mine for answers as she struggles to buckle up. My hand flies out, covering hers as I attempt to help her. We both freeze, looking at each other with fear in our eyes.
“You’re scaring me,” she whispers.
“I’m scared.” My body trembles and goose bumps cover my body. “Not here. Let’s go somewhere.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere. Just you and me.”
Starting the engine, I drive off, not sure where to go, but I have to get us moving—on the road.
* * *
I drive a short distance before pulling into the parking lot of a fancy-looking hotel.
“Here?” she asks, checking out our surroundings. “Romantic,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows.
I can’t hold in the laugh that bursts out, but I’m soon brought back to earth with a thud. Knowing what I have to tell her, my blood racing as I wonder whether she’ll hate me after.
Removing my seatbelt, I turn to her, taking her hands in mine. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Cassie.”
“About what?” Her voice croaks.
“About everything. But I need you to hear me out, okay?”
She nods, and I grip her hand a little tighter. Maybe if I hold onto her tight enough, she won’t run away.
“I’m not sure where to start…”
“Start at the beginning,” she says with a smile.
“I couldn’t let anything happen between us until you knew the truth. I never want to hurt you, Cass.” I exhale, my shoulders slumping, my eyes losing the connection on hers.
“When my mom died, there was a huge uncertainty as to what caused her death. But…there was never any doubt in my mind as to who was behind her death. See, I witnessed it. I walked into the bedroom and saw my stepdad, Jeff, with a pillow in his hand. Jeff killed my mom.”
Cassie gasps before throwing her arms around me and hugging me tightly.
“Wait,” I say, removing her arms and resuming my hold on her hands. “I turned to the police to help me. I told them about the abuse I had witnessed and that I caught him with the pillow in his hand. But they didn’t believe me. All because Jeff was one of them. He was a cop.”
I pause momentarily, Cassie’s sad eyes still fixed on me. My chest tightens and reliving it all is making it hard to breathe. Inhaling softly and slowly, I continue.
“They told me she’d had a severe asthma attack and that was determined as the cause of her death. When I confronted Jeff, he laughed and admitted to me that it was him. That he’d killed Mom.”
“Shit, Leo, I’m so sorry.”
My throat is tight but I know I have to continue. “We got into a fight, Cassie. He forced me into his car and he drove for hours. I was sure he was gonna kill me too.”
My hands tremble as I look her directly in the eye. “He pulled over into some forest preserve and dragged me deep into the woods,” I continue. “He forced me to the ground. I was scared, Cassie. So fucking scared that I would die there that I had to do something. He pulled the gun on me and I instinctively charged toward him. What happened next was just a blur. We fought and I was trying to get hold of the gun. But he was just too strong. He beat me so badly, broke my leg and cracked my ribs. But I didn’t give in. I went to grab the gun and knocked it out of his hand. It fell beside me on the floor, so I took a hold, lifting it and pointing it at him. I wasn’t going to shoot him, I just needed to get away. I warned him I would shoot and made him give me the car keys. I took off, trying to find my way back to the car. But Jeff was hot on my heels, coming up behind me and knocking me to the ground once more. We fought and somehow the gun went off. When I opened my eyes I saw him on the floor, Cassie. He was bleeding bad, and the ground surrounding him turned red.”
I stare out of the windshield as the whole memory plays out in my mind. My heart thuds against my rib cage.
“I killed him, Cassie.”
“You called the police though, right? Told them that he’d kidnapped you and it was an accident.”
I shake my head from side to side.
“I ran, Cassie. Took the car back to the house and took the few belongings I had and all of the money I could find.”
“Shit, Leo,” she gasps.
“My name is Luke,” I admit, the words stinging the back of my throat as I force them out.
“What?”
I look up at her as she flutters her eyelashes, almost in disbelief.
“You lied about your name?”
“I had to, Cass. I thought the police would be looking for me. I needed a new identity…a new life…a clean break.”
“Running isn’t the answer, Leo.
I’m sorry, I know you said your name is Luke, but you’ll always be Leo to me.” She looks at me apologetically, and my heart beats faster for her.
“I’ll be whatever you need me to be, I just need you to know that I’m not a monster. I made a mistake. I killed him when I was fighting to live.”
“I believe you.” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth.
“It haunts me every day, thinking of what I did and the man he made me become. I hated him for sure, but becoming a murderer wasn’t something I’d planned. I wanted him to pay for what he did to Mom, but the only person suffering right now is me.”
“You should’ve gone to the police. Running only makes you look guilty.” She grimaces and I can’t help but slam my back against the backrest. “They would’ve believed it was an accident,” she adds.
I shake my head from side to side before scraping my hands down over my face. “He was one of them, Cassie. He had them all fooled, and made out I was a troubled kid always trying to cause trouble for him. There’s no way they would believe me. They didn’t believe me about Mom, so why would they think otherwise over his death. I had a reason to kill him; after all, I accused him of killing my mom.”
“Jesus, this is such a mess.”
“You gotta know, the reason I’m telling you this is that I can’t fight how I feel for you any longer. Allowing myself to fall for you wasn’t an option. Because it wasn’t the real me. This. This right here is the real me. I’m messed up, I’m running from my past, and I’m a liar. I know you deserve better, so much better.” I reach up, snaking my hand until it comes to rest on the side of her face. “I get it. If you want to run in the opposite direction and forget all about me…I totally understand.”
I feel her shudder against my touch.
“I’m scared, Leo.”
“Of what? Of me?” My eyes frantically search hers, looking for some sign. They’re filled with dread and I feel sick to my stomach that I’ve done this to her.
“No.” She shakes her head a little. “Not of you, but losing you. I’m messed up too, Leo. But I can’t deny what my heart is telling me. Something it’s never said before.”
“And what is it telling you?” My voice is strained and barely a whisper.
“That I can’t lose you. Not to let you go.”
My fingers find the buckle release, and I snake my hands under her legs. Pulling her over onto my lap, she lets out a squeal.
“You don’t know how happy you’ve made me. You want me despite everything?”
Her eyes meet mine and for a millisecond I feel like I’m on cloud nine. My brain can’t believe what my ears are telling it. She wants me.
“We have to figure this out, Leo. You’re on the run…it’s only a matter of time before someone finds out about what happened.”
My heart sinks. I know Cassie is right.
“Let’s not think about that. Not now. Not when I just found you.”
A small tear pools in her eye. Bending my head forward, our foreheads touch and her hand finds my cheek, her thumb slowly caresses back and forth.
“Anything worth having is worth fighting for, right? I’ll help you all I can, Leo. I promise.”
Chapter Sixteen
Cassie
We sit silently in the car. I’m on his knee, in his arms, and barely able to digest what is happening between us. I feel like I’ve found him, but I’m going to lose him. What he did was awful, but what his stepfather did to him left him no choice. The sincerity and pain in his eyes lets me know I can trust him. Despite the fact that his whole life here was built on a lie.
My mind is confused about everything. But my heart, my heart is completely and fully clear.
He holds me so tightly that I don’t ever want him to let go.
“We should go,” his voice speaks softly.
“Go where? Home?”
His lips meet mine. “Just give me tonight,” he mumbles against my lips.
My heart skips and I know I’m ready for whatever he’s about to suggest. I don’t break the kiss to respond. Instead, my hands move like they have a mind of their own, grabbing and clinging onto his hair. Our lips attack one another’s as passion is exchanged between us. Each touch is laced with want, need, and desire. I’ve never felt this way before, and I’m not sure I ever will again.
Chest to chest, I press against him loving the security his embrace offers.
After a few moments, Leo softens the kiss, slowly pulling back to look me in the eye. His hand rests on the side of my face and he holds it there gently.
“I’m crazy about you, you know that, right?” My face reddens and my heart skips. “Do you have any idea how hard I fought not to give in to how I felt about you? That’s why there was so much back and forth between us. I know I looked like an asshole, but it was my inner conflict of wanting you, but not wanting to hurt you, that got in the way.”
“I get it,” I reply, the heat in my cheeks not subsiding. I stare at him for the longest time but I don’t care. Here, in this moment, all I can think of is giving it all to Leo, and finally pushing aside my fears in order to make me happy.
“We should stay here. Away from the house, away from Liza and everything else that has stood in our way,” he suggests.
I glance out of the window and look up at the hotel. “I bet the view is amazing from the top floor.”
“Why don’t we go and find out? I have the money Liza gave me for new clothes which I never spent.”
Excitement grows in my tummy and I give him a solid nod. His lip curls in a half smile as he reaches for the handle of the door. I slide off his lap and instantly cross my arms. The cool night air whips around my bare arms and shoulders. Leo emerges from the car with my gym bag in his hand.
“Thanks,” I say, taking it from him. Placing the bag on the hood of the car, I dig inside, pulling out my hoodie, sliding it on over my gym clothes.
“You should call your father. I wouldn’t want him to worry.”
“Hmmm,” I hum, reaching in the bag and grabbing my cell. I press the phone against my ear as we walk through the parking lot and over to the entrance of the hotel.
“Hey, Dad,” I say when he answers.
“Hi, honey. You okay?”
“Yeah, just letting you know that I’m staying at Kaycee’s tonight. Just didn’t want you to worry.”
He lets out a huge breath down the receiver as if he’s disappointed.
“You have school the next day. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
“I will be there tomorrow, don’t worry, Dad. Listen, I gotta go. Love you, bye.” I quickly end the call so he can’t add anything else to try and change my mind. Not that it would work. My heart is set on this night with Leo.
Within a few minutes we are checked in and have the key card to our room. We take the elevator up to the top floor. Pressing my lips together, I look up at Leo, my heart fluttering in my chest with anticipation of the night to come. He’s holding my bag and I can’t help but reach for his free hand, intertwining my fingers with his.
Circumstances surrounding Leo may be uncertain, our time together limited, but all that matters is the here and now.
He squeezes my hand in response and the elevator pings, the door slowly opens. He steps out and we walk down the hall hand in hand, until we find our room number. It’s the penthouse suite and I can hardly believe my eyes as he opens the door.
No words can ever describe how gorgeous this place is. I wander in, almost mesmerized by the beauty of the room. I walk through the huge room until I stop at the show-stopping floor-to-ceiling windows which overlook the entire grounds below.
“Wow,” I say, looking back for Leo. His head is tilted upward.
“Look at the height of these ceilings.” He gasps. “And this furniture. It’s got to be handmade.” He runs his hand across the back of one of the oversized couches. “I thought your house was amazing, but this is something else.”
“Right.” I smile widely at h
im. He walks toward me, placing his hands around my waist, pulling me into him. Tilting my head, he snuggles into my neck, his warm breath against the sensitive skin there.
“I need you to know something,” he whispers. “I didn’t bring you here with any expectations.”
I smile, knowing exactly what he’s alluding to.
“I’ve waited so long to finally have you, that I don’t want to do anything to push you away. To hold you, to have you in my arms, finally as mine, that’s all I want.”
“I’ve been scared of how my body reacted to you. Not because I didn’t want you, because I’ve never felt this way, or been intimate in a way that wasn’t forced on me.”
Leo screws up his face, tightening his hold on me. “I’m sorry, so fucking sorry that asshole did that to you. Just know, I will never ever do anything you don’t want me to.”
I spin on the spot until I’m facing him. “I want you, Leo.” I realize in this precise moment just how I feel about him—I’m in love with him.
“Let’s go check out the bedroom,” I say tugging on his hand. We walk through the suite until we reach the huge main bedroom.
As we walk inside, the lights automatically turn on. My eyes are instantly drawn to the sumptuous queen pillow top and plush bedding which is the main focus of the room. It’s amazing. I loosen my hold on his hand and race toward the bed, throwing myself on and lying flat on my back.
Leo’s laughter fills the room. “You look comfy.” He rests his back against the wall, one leg crossed over the other as he watches me wiggle like a child on the huge bed.
“Come and try it.” I slap my hand down against the soft bedding enthusiastically. He slowly strolls over to the bed, sitting down beside me. I rest my head on my hands, looking up at him. He stares down at me, and the look he’s giving me causes fireworks inside. Lifting myself up, I tug on his shoulders, pulling him backward on the bed.
“You need to lie down to feel the full effect of just how amazing this bed is,” I tease as he laughs. I lean over him, placing a soft kiss against his lips.
Bound to Break: Books one in the Bound to series Page 12
