The Perversion Trilogy: Perversion, Possession & Permission

by T. M. Frazier

  “I don’t know what to do,” Leo says, watching her baby eat. “I came here because I’ve got nowhere to go.” She plants her face in her hands. “EJ, I know it’s a lot to ask, but..." her voice cracks. "Do you think you can take Jack? Just for a while until I can get my shit together. I’ve got to get clean. Get a job. Find a place for us to live.”

  "Do you know who the father is?" I ask, keeping my question judgment free. After all, there was a time when I didn't know who Rosey's father was either.

  She shakes her head.

  “Where have you been living?” I ask.

  “On the streets,” she admits with a sniffle. "Here and there. I've been selling myself trying to keep Jack fed and buy diapers. I mean, it's no different than what I was doing at Los Muertos, except maybe better because I'm getting paid, but worse because now I've got nowhere to go. When I started to show Marco threatened to sell the baby on the black market once it was born. I couldn’t bear the thought. I ran. When Los Muertos collapsed, I thought I could go back to the compound and live with some of the people there. But everyone was gone. It was gone. The city tore the whole thing down."

  “I know, I’m sorry,” I say. “Not that it’s gone, but that you’re in this situation.”

  I look down to baby Jack. He’s unlatched and fast asleep, milk spilling from the side of his open mouth. “He’s milk drunk,” I say.

  I hand Jack over to Leo while I re-clasp my bra and tug down my shirt. I stand and take Jack once more, carrying him over to the changing table where I lay him down. Carefully, and quietly, I remove the newspaper he's wrapped in and clean him the best I can with baby wipes. I change him into a fresh diaper that's a little too big but will make do for now. I wrap him in a fresh white swaddling blanket.

  Leo forces a sad smile. “So will you? Will you take him?” Her knee bounces beneath her folded hands.

  “I’ll do you one better,” I offer. Returning to the couch, I place baby Jack back into his mother's arms.

  Leo raises her eyebrows in question.

  I smile at my old friend and take her hand in mine. “I’ll take you both.”

  When I arrive back at the house, Grim is already there. I tell him about Leo and how I’ve given her a room at the brothel for her and her son until I can find her something more permanent. The girls there were all over the moon to have a baby to fawn over. And Ma stayed back for a while to help Leo and little Jack get settled in.

  Grim goes one step further and insists on sending a home-rehab specialist to help Leo get clean. I take his hand in mine. “Thank you.”

  He shrugs. “She was good to you. It’s nothing.”

  “To me, it’s everything,” I tell him. “And, after she’s clean, I’d like to train her for the receptionist position.” I tell him. “If it’s okay with you. Marci already agreed and we have someone to train her.”

  “I think it’s a great idea,” he says, kissing me on the forehead. I place Rosey in her crib and turn off the light. Carefully, Grim shuts the door behind us.

  We silently creep back into the living room and are surprised to find the Chief and Margaret, waiting for us.

  “Welcome back,” the chief offers, standing and opening his arms.

  I haven’t seen him since in the weeks since I’ve gotten back, and hadn’t realized how much I missed him until now. I run into his arms for a big, bear hug. He smells like spicy cologne and fresh air.

  Margaret places a hand on my back. “Congratulations. I heard you didn’t come home empty-handed.”

  “Thank you,” I say to her, releasing the chief, who offers Grim a congratulations of his own with a handshake and a slap on the back.

  “I have to ask,” Grim says to the chief, and I know what’s coming next. “Did you marry Rollo and Mona?”

  The chief nods. “I did. And it’s binding and legal. Water jug ritual, blanket binding, in front of the whole tribe. It’s done.”

  ‘“Wait,” I say as the memory of the ritual he performed on Grim and myself comes back to me. “Did you say water jug ritual and blanket binding?”

  The chief swallows hard as I approach him slowly.

  Margaret suppresses a laugh by covering her mouth with her hand.

  I point an accusing finger at his chest. “Tell me, chief, do you use those two rituals in anything other than a wedding ceremony?”

  He grimaces.

  Margaret’s laughter breaks. She falls onto the couch in damn near hysterics.

  “Is there?” I press.

  He looks to Grim who doesn’t appear nearly as surprised as I am.

  The Chief finally answers. “I...no, no there is not.”

  “So then—” I begin.

  The Chief’s smile is blinding and unapologetic. “You and Grim. You’re married.”

  Twenty-Seven

  One Month Later…

  The ceremony is the same as it had been last time, yet everything else is different. This time, I walk down an aisle to Grim linked arm-and-arm with both of my parents. The chief conducts the ceremony in English, and we are very aware of what is taking place, the promises we’re making to each other. Also, we are dressed for the occasion this time around. Grim looks breathtaking in a black button-down shirt, dark black pants, and his usual clean white sneakers. I opted for a long, strapless, black maxi dress. I’m carrying a bouquet of black roses, a matching crown of which is weaved into my hair. Marci takes them from me as Grim takes my hands in his. The biggest difference of all is the golden-eyed, curly headed toddler sucking on her thumb between our legs.

  “Da da da da daaaaaaa!” She pulls on Grim’s pants.

  “Shhhhh, Rosey,” Grim coos.

  Rosey looks up at him. Her pink, heart-shaped lips spread into a smile, revealing two different sized white squares lodged into her upper gums.

  Grim’s smile spreads. He looks from her to me. My heart and stomach flutter. I’m awash in a wave of emotion. The strength of it stronger than chains, unbreakable by any man. What makes those chains even stronger are the additional links that Rosey has added. Our connection grows stronger every day, and it’s not just between the two of us now, but three. I never thought I could love Grim more, but seeing him love our child and feeling that love between them makes me feel complete in a way I’ve never thought was possible.

  “You may kiss your bride,” Chief David concludes. Grim’s gaze darkens as he pulls me into his arms and plants a kiss to my lips that lasts for much longer than would be appropriate, but the crowd around us doesn’t seem to mind, as our friends, family, and all of Bedlam clap, whoop, and whistle.

  “I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Tristan Paine,” Chief David announces proudly. We separate when Rosey pushes our legs apart. Grim laughs and bends over to pick her up. His free hand holds tightly onto mine.

  Haze steps to the front of the crowd. “The King and Queen of Bedlam!” He presses his closed fist to his heart. “My life!” he roars loudly. The rest of the crowd joins them, including Grim and myself, and even Rosey, who balls her fist and places it against her dad’s chest, babbling along “My death. My honor. My loyalty. For Bedlam. For Brotherhood. For Always.”

  We walk through the cheering crowd, who throws seeds into the air as we pass. Grim covers Rosey’s head with his hand to protect her. Once we are clear, Marci walks over to us. “I’m so proud of both of you.” She says with tears in her eyes. “Belly would be, too.” She waves away her tears and leans down to our little girl, taking her hand. “Rosey, you want to come play with Grandma Marci?”

  Rosey giggles, leaping from Grim’s arms and into Marci’s. She plants a kiss on our little girl’s head and adjusts her matching crown of roses before carrying her off.

  Callum approaches us. He kisses both of my cheeks and shakes Grim’s hand. Grim tries to pull his hand back but my father doesn’t release him. “Grim, it goes without saying that if you do anything to break my little girl’s heart that I’m going to break every fucking bone in your body.”

  “Da,�
�� I groan.

  Much to my surprise Grim doesn’t get angry. Instead, he smiles and claps his hand on Callum’s shoulder. “I’d expect nothing less, sir.”

  “Good, now, where’s my grand baby?” he asks, releasing Grim’s hand.

  I point to Marci who’s bouncing Rosey on her knee. Ma is beside them, making faces at our little girl who giggles and reaches out her little hand, tugging on Ma’s nose.

  Callum makes a beeline for the group and joins them in fawning over Rosey who eats up the attention.

  “She is going to be so spoiled,” Grim says with a chuckle.

  “More importantly, she is going to be so loved,” I reply.

  “Her childhood will be so different from ours,” Grim says.

  “Thank fucking god for that,” I say. “Although, if it wasn’t for our shitty childhoods, I might never have met you.”

  Grim scrunches his nose and wraps his arms around me. “Not true. I would have found my way to you eventually. I’ll always find my way to you.” He brushes his lips over mine sending a shiver up my spine.

  He pulls away tugs me from the crowd. We walk past the reception area where a band is set up in the corner. Picnic benches sit under a series of banyan trees, complete with strings of twinkle lights floating between. In the center of the tables are small bouquets of black, pink, and white roses in mason jar vases.

  Once we’re concealed to the crowd behind a thick trunk of one of the trees, Grim cups my chin. “Hello, wife,” he says with a sheepish grin. He presses his lips to mine, then brushes them along my jaw. “I’ve been waiting to say that to you for so long now.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “You mean the past thirty-seconds?”

  His dark eyes are gleaming with wickedness. “No, since the first time we were married.”

  “You knew!” I say, playfully pushing at his chest.

  Grim holds my wrists against him, pulling me closer. “I knew. When the chief wanted to do the ritual, I…”

  “You’re the one who told him which ritual…”

  “I did. You were mine. Since that very first day you conned me into taking your pussy…cat.” He releases one of my wrists and snakes his hand around to the back of my neck, kneading his fingers seductively into my flesh. “It was only fair. A trick for a trick.”

  “You mean a trick for a Tricks,” I correct him, leaning into his touch.

  “Exactly. Although you aren’t just Tricks now. You’re Imogen Parish Egan Paine.” He chuckles. “Is that what you’ve decided? Did I get it all right?”

  I nod and trail my hand along the stubble of his jaw. My thumb over his full bottom lip, which he kisses. “It’s who I am. I’m not just one thing. One name. I’m all of them.” I smile. “Besides, Queen of England was taken.”

  “You’re my queen.” He kisses my lips, and I open my mouth to him. “You’re my everything,” he mumbles against my mouth. “Mine. Now and forever.”

  “I’m yours, body and soul,” I whisper.

  “I love you, Imogen Parish Egan Paine. I’m your possession as much as you are mine. I belong to you. My love. My life. My honor. My loyalty. For always.”

  Someone coughs behind us.

  Grim doesn’t release me. He keeps me in his arms, turning us both to face Sandy.

  “What?” Grim snaps, but he can’t help the smile on his face.

  “Uh, there’s like a hundred people here that are waiting for the bride and groom to make an appearance. As entertaining as I am, it’s not me they’re here for.”

  Grim mumbles under his breath. He drapes his arm around me as we head toward the picnic tables under the stars and twinkling lights.

  I spot Haze and Gabby dancing together. He releases her as the song ends, and giggling at something he says as the two of them step off the makeshift dance floor. Sandy makes a b-line toward her, tugging her to the back of the crowd where he lowers his head to hers, whispering something in her ear. Gabby takes a step back, her face heated with rage. She juts out a hip and points a finger into his chest.

  “What the hell do you think is going on there?” I ask.

  “I’m not sure I want to know,” Grim replies. “I’m focused on something else entirely.” He looks me over from my head to my toes, heating me with his gaze as he pulls me onto the dance floor. His lips are at my ears. “Marci and your ma are going to watch Rosey, tonight. After everyone is good and drunk, I’m going to steal you away. I have plans for you tonight.” He pulls me into his chest, and I can feel the outline of his plans against my stomach. I gasp at the sensation. “All fucking night.”

  My face and body heat with anticipation. I smile up at him as the music begins to play. He pulls me closer and searches my eyes eagerly as we sway along to the soft melody. I swallow hard and nod, unable to find the words.

  Lacking is no longer a perversion of a town but is well on the way to becoming what a town should be. Not just a place, but a community. Just as we are now a family, a real one.

  I belong to Grim. Not because he took me. Or forced me. But because I belong to him in the same way he belongs to me.

  Being someone’s possession makes you nothing.

  Giving yourself to someone completely makes you everything.

  And that’s what we do. What we’ll always do. Give ourselves to one another completely.

  With love, passion, and permission.

  Epilogue

  Fourteen Months Later

  Callum and Aileen bought a three-story house in Lacking. Actually, they bought an entire block of homes they are remodeling and renovating into one massive compound, as well as the thirty acres of forest behind it that butt up the reservation. They are doting grandparents. Callum is still the head of Clan Egan but has plans to turn the operation over to Alby and retire within the next few years.

  They still travel to Ireland every few months, but when I tell Ma that I feel bad for taking them away from their home, she assures me that home is where her family is, and right now, her home is in Lacking.

  Even though I decided to live with Grim, Callum and Aileen's big house isn’t empty as Gabby happily lives with them. We’ve both received our GED’s and attend classes at the community college three days a week. Gabby takes a variety of classes, unsure of what she wants to do with her life. I’m enrolled in the creative writing program.

  Grim and I live in the remodeled Bedlam house. Marci has moved into Grim’s outside bedroom, but it’s no longer just a shed made into a room, but a full apartment for her, complete with large master bath and newly added kitchen and living area. Sandy and Haze still occupy the two bedrooms upstairs, while Grim and I have taken over the master bedroom downstairs and the other bedroom across the hall, which is now Rosey’s nursery.

  After spending so much time apart, we’re all together often. There are big family dinners at least once a week, either at my parent’s house or ours with all of us. Marci, Sandy, and Haze included. Sometimes, a few of Grim’s other brothers come by for the meal. Chief David and Margaret come by as much as they can. Things are going well for them. I know this because of the huge diamond Margaret has been sporting on a very important finger. And the googly eyes they make at each other when they think no one is looking.

  Aileen, Marci, and I have started a clean-up committee to help those residents who can’t afford to fix up their properties. We spend a lot of time with the men of Bedlam patching up bullet holes and painting over graffiti at various homes and businesses throughout Lacking. All of the gang signs in town have been removed, including Bedlam’s.

  Not because they aren’t proud of who they are. Their Bedlam Brotherhood pride reads loud and clear on the patches of their clothes and inked into their skin, but because their black bleeding rose shouldn’t instill terror in the residents.

  All that’s left of Bedlam’s graffiti are the massive murals, works of art representing those who’ve fallen or the way the people felt in this town while it was under attack.

  The art in the town is not to be fe
ared any longer. It’s to be appreciated.

  The blood stains have been cleaned up as best they could be. Only shadows of rusty red remain splattered on the sidewalks and streets.

  A ghostly reminder of what once was.

  Grim rules the Bedlam Brotherhood with an iron fist and a full heart. There is happiness at every corner, overshadowing the occasional dark reminders of the past.

  “Is this it?” Grim asks, eying the box on my lap, the one I’ve yet to open.

  “It is,” I answer, rubbing my palm over the taped seam.

  Grim takes his knife from his pant leg and cuts open the box on my lap. My mouth drops open as if he’s just cut the clothes from my body.

  “What?” he asks. “You may not know this, but staring at a box doesn’t open it.”

  “I’m just nervous.”

  “I’m not,” he says, crouching before me. “I’m excited. You haven’t let me read a single page. I don’t even know the fucking title.” He opens the cardboard flaps. “The suspense is killing me, Tricks.”

  I reach in and pull the packing from the box, setting it beside me on the couch. I glance down and am immediately filled with happiness and pride. I’ve worked so hard on this book. After long days of caring for Rosey and attending classes, I’d spend even longer nights filled with doubt and staring at a blank page on my laptop and blinking cursor, mocking my ability to put my story into words. But I did it. And here, in my hands, is the product of that labor and love.

  I pick up the first book from the stack and hand it to Grim.

  He turns it over, revealing the simple black cover with a shadowed hood looming over the white lettering. The corner of his lip twitches. “Holy shit,” he says. “I knew you were writing a story based on your life story, but this...wow. You’re incredible. So fucking incredible.”