I'm Pretty Sure You're Gonna Miss Me Ronin McKinsey

by M. J. Padgett

  “What are we watching, Peaches?” he asked, his demeanor suddenly carefree and laid back again. “Maybe a comedy? I think we need to laugh our butts off the next few hours.”

  “Sure, sounds good to me,” I said, trying to relax and enjoy our time together. There would be plenty of time to obsess over the complicated relationship we had later, like when I was alone and had nothing better to do with my time. I sat at one end of the sofa, and Daniel sat at the other, relaxed as he munched on his pretzels. He was utterly oblivious to my state of confusion.

  “So, what are your plans for ruining this ex of yours?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s not such a good idea to go all bonkers. I should just move on and get over it already.”

  He paused the show I hadn’t even begun watching yet. “Absolutely not. He has to learn his lesson, or he’ll just do the same thing to the next girl he tricks into dating him.”

  “Daniel, it was partially my fault we broke up. He did it all wrong, but he’s entitled to his feelings,” I defended. As much as I hated to admit it, it was true. Ronin handled it wrong, but he couldn’t control what embarrassed him, what he liked or didn’t like, and how it made him feel.

  “Why do you keep defending him? I thought you said you were done with him?” Daniel snapped. It took me by surprise, so I jumped a little at the sound of his raised voice.

  “Daniel... I... What?”

  He got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen, leaving me sitting alone, dumbfounded. If I had gotten up and walked over to the brick fireplace, banged my head against it until I smashed my brain into goo, it would have hurt a lot less than trying to figure out teenage boys. I got up and followed Daniel into the kitchen, finding him staring into the refrigerator with a generally annoyed look on his face.

  “Daniel?”

  “I’m fine. I’m sorry I snapped. I just hate when you defend Ronin,” he said curtly.

  “I wasn’t defending him. He’s a giant jerk, and he’s stupid, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings.”

  “I’m sorry if I can’t bring myself to care about his feelings when he’s made you cry more than once.”

  Daniel slammed the refrigerator door closed. Something inside rattled and fell, making a splat noise when it settled. He noticed it too but didn’t dare open the door to investigate. The look on his face was funny, and I couldn’t stifle my giggle.

  He looked back at me, and his irritation started to fade. Finally, his lips curved, and he broke into a smile. “I have no idea what that was,” he said and laughed.

  I took advantage of his happier mood and tried to explain my position. “Listen, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Daniel. Honestly, it’s been above and beyond, but I realized something at Fire and Ice today.”

  He pulled out a stool and sat. “What’s that?”

  I sat on the stool beside him and tried not to stare at his adorable face. “This thing, if I keep it going, it will never stop. I can get back at Ronin a hundred times, but all that does is keep me in the cycle, and I want out. I want to be finished with him, once and for all. Can you understand that?” I asked with a weak, questioning smile that probably looked like I needed to pee.

  He studied my face again, judging my sincerity, and eventually said, “Yeah, that makes sense. I just really despise the guy, Peaches.”

  “Why? You didn’t know him before we were friends. I mean, I appreciate best friend loyalty, but—”

  “Oh, look at the time. We’re gonna miss our shows.”

  “They’re recorded, Daniel.”

  “Yes, but... but... Fine, I got nothing. You got me this time, Peaches. I just don’t want to talk about Robert anymore.”

  “Ronin.”

  “Whatever, both names are stupid.” He slid from the stool to stand beside me. “Just promise me one thing, Peaches?”

  “Anything.”

  “Don’t let Sara off so easily?”

  “Oh, no. She is goin’ down, no doubt about it. I just don’t know how,” I said, trying to get down from the stool without sliding down him as well. His smile grew wider, and I could tell he kept something from me.

  “I’m so glad you said that. I have something to show you. Wait here.” He darted off toward his bedroom. He reappeared, holding a small booklet I recognized. It was the cheer squad handbook.

  “Why do you have a copy of the cheer squad handbook?” I asked.

  “Because I had aspirations once, Peaches,” he said sarcastically. “Because I was looking for something, and I found exactly what I was looking for.”

  He handed me the book with a single page dog-eared. I opened it to the page and read over the information I had never paid much attention to before. Why would I? We had never made it all the way to the regional competition before, so there was no reason to read the regulations. The more I read, the happier I got.

  According to the handbook, the squad could not make any significant changes to the lineup less than sixty days before the regional competition, as per regulation. Which meant Sara could not replace me as team captain if they wanted to compete at regionals. “Please tell me you have a calendar somewhere in this house.”

  “I already did the math, Peaches, or I wouldn’t have brought it up. Fifty-eight days. They outed you fifty-eight days before the regional competition.”

  “So... So, this means—”

  “You’re still captain, and Sara’s about to have an awful Monday,” he said.

  “I can’t believe you did this, Daniel! The thought never crossed my mind. I was just too mad!”

  “What are best friends for, Peaches?” He grinned, the crooked smile I liked. I was so excited, I leaped from the chair and kissed him smack bang on the mouth.

  Chapter Twelve

  THE SECOND MY LIPS landed on Daniel’s, I wanted to murder myself. Not ten minutes after the whole going as friends to prom fiasco, I made our situation even more awkward by kissing him out of the blue. I had never wanted Ronin to pop up unexpectedly more than I did that moment just so I could blame it on him. But alas... it was all me and my runaway mouth.

  “Did... did you just kiss me, or did you trip and fall on my face?” Daniel asked, frozen in place.

  “Um... yes?” I squeaked.

  “Yes, you kissed me? Yes, you fell?” Still frozen except for the expression on his face that went from shocked to worried to... who knew. All I knew was that I probably looked like a giant tomato head. No one in history had ever wanted a floor to open and swallow them as much as I did that moment.

  “Yes, I kissed you,” I admitted in the quietest, squeakiest voice I could mutter. Maybe if I played mousy, he would have mercy on my poor, tortured soul.

  “Oh. Okay. Why exactly did you do that?”

  It was impossible to discern from his stature or tone of voice whether he was okay with it or repulsed entirely, so I thought up an excuse as fast as possible and hoped it would seem more realistic once I said it out loud.

  “I’m sorry. I just got excited, and my mouth got away from me.” Dear Heaven, take my soul and end the humiliation.

  “I see. So, then... Well... I guess I’m glad we cleared that up,” he said, finally moving more than his lips or eyes. He shifted his weight and glanced uncomfortably at the floor.

  “Yeah, all cleared up,” I said. “That could have been super weird, so it’s good we’re such close friends, right?” If it wasn’t weird before, it certainly is after stating it, Hazel.

  “Yeah, uh, really weird. You know, if one of us had gooey feelings or something,” he said, finally sitting on the stool instead of standing there like a tree.

  “Oh, totally. Good thing we don’t have those kinds of feelings, right?” I sat on the opposite stool, glad to have something solid beneath me since my legs were turning to jello very quickly.

  “Right. Good thing.”

  “Super good. Yeah, so...” I fidgeted with the corner of the handbook, searching for anything to say. �
��Not weird, super good.”

  “Yep. So, how do we do this thing?” he asked.

  “What thing?” I asked, confused.

  “The Sara thing?”

  “What Sara thing?”

  “The whole get back at Sara for being a backstabbing, poo-slinging monkey plan?” He looked at me as if I’d gone insane, and maybe I had because all I could do was stare blankly at him, thinking about every kiss we’d shared.

  “Sara? Sara... Oh, Sara. Yeah, monkey, poo... gotcha. Um...”

  “Peaches, are you okay?”

  “What? Oh, yeah, good. Super good. Not weird at all. Great friends. Super good.” Words continued to fall out, no matter how hard I tried to shut my mouth. It was word vomit, and it was horrific.

  “Did you have an aneurysm or something?” Daniel asked, leaning in to make sure I wasn’t someone else entirely. “Maybe ingest a brain-eating amoeba?”

  “Huh?” I asked, but my focus was on how much closer he was and how much I wanted to kiss him again. But if I did, I was sure I would not survive the humiliation.

  He stood up and pulled me back into the living room, basically pushing me onto the sofa since I was fast approaching a catatonic state. I flopped on the seat cushion, which was just the jolt my brain needed to restart and snap me back to reality—for real, finally.

  “Oh, no,” I whined and covered my face with my hands. “I’m so sorry I kissed you. Now it’s all weird, and I can’t stop being weird, and you probably think I’m a total weirdo.”

  “I do, but to be fair, I thought that before the kiss.” Daniel pried my hands from my face and laughed at me. “It was an accident. I get it. It was weird for half a second, but I’m not mad or upset about it, okay?”

  “You’re sure?” I asked, wishing I could just go back in time and stop myself before it happened.

  “I’m sure. We have an unconventional relationship, Peaches. It’s not like we haven’t kissed before, and maybe that’s why it just happened. Whatever it was, it’s okay,” he insisted, still holding my hands because he seemed to know the second he let go of them, I’d cover my face again.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay? For real this time, you’re okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

  He released my hands, and I let them rest where they fell.

  “So, the Sara thing? I’m begging you to let me be there when you tell her the good news.”

  “I’ll have to do at lunch or right after school when I can get a meeting with Coach, but of course, you’ll be there. I wouldn’t dare do it without you,” I said.

  “I have a question though; do you really want to be captain again? All those girls, they’re backstabbing, ungrateful brats. I think you already know you deserve better than that,” he said.

  “I do know, but going to regionals was my dream. Plus, it looks good on my college apps, so for those reasons, yes.” I slid further into the sofa, finally feeling more relaxed. With the prom and kiss fiasco behind us, it felt like we were back in our old routine.

  “Cool. Can we do it after school? Becca’s appointment is in the morning, and I wanted to call at lunch to see how it went.”

  “I don’t see why not. Now let’s watch something funny and stop wasting our time talking about stupid stuff,” I said, still freaking out a little inside. I wanted something to stare at besides him.

  He grabbed the remote and started the show again. I’d never seen it before, but it made me laugh so hard I almost choked on my own spit several times. We grew sleepy fast, considering our day had been long and adventurous, and his living room was quite comfortable. Somehow, we ended up in the same position we were in at the bookstore, sprawled out with my head in his lap while he played with my hair. Between the exhausting day and the gentle way he ran his fingers through my long hair, I was dead to the world by midnight... my curfew.

  I was rudely awakened by a horrible beeping noise that I soon discovered was my sister blowing up my cell phone. It wasn’t the first time; there were seven missed calls from her and three from Dizzy. I tried to sit up, but a snoring boy had me pinned to the sofa with his arm. I settled for putting it on speaker.

  “Hey, what’s up?”

  Rose dove right into the bad news. “Finally! You missed curfew, you dummy!” she yelled, jolting Daniel awake.

  “One-hundred eighty-six thousand!” he screamed, sat straight up on the sofa, and accidentally rolled me onto the floor.

  “Ow,” I groaned when I landed on my butt.

  Rose gasped. “Are you still with Daniel? What are you doing? Get home now!”

  “I fell asleep watching TV. Are Mom and Dad mad?” I asked, picking myself up off the floor as I searched for my shoes.

  “They don’t know. I told them you went to bed early. Come to my window, and I’ll lower the fire ladder, but hurry!” With that, she hung up the phone. I groaned at the thought. I’d have to climb the emergency fire ladder into her room, which meant I would probably fall to my death the second I reached her window.

  “Crap, it's quarter after twelve. Sorry, Peaches.” Daniel apologized as he slipped on his shoes. “Mom let the neighbor borrow one of the cars, so all I have is the bike. We’re gonna have to park a few blocks out and walk to your house, or they’ll hear it.”

  My heart jumped into my throat. It was terrible enough riding the thing during the day but not being able to see while zipping down the road without the safety of a car surrounding me was a terrifying thought. He sensed my hesitation.

  “We won’t take the highway, Peaches, and I’ll drive slower.”

  He did, and it made me so late for curfew I knew I’d be dead if my parents caught me. After we parked the bike a block away, I sent Rose a text message.

  When we arrived, I saw she had already lowered the ladder. She poked her head out the window with a disapproving scowl.

  “Hurry up, they’re still up talking about Dad’s schedule for next week.” She motioned for me to hurry, waving her hands frantically.

  Daniel hoisted me up to the first rung and made sure I didn’t fall, but after a few rungs, I was all on my own. Excellent time to wear flats, Hazel. With no grip on my shoes, my feet kept slipping on the rungs. The shoes were absolutely useless pieces of junk. I held tight to the ladder with one hand and reached back to remove them. I tried to toss one up to Rose, but I’m no pitcher, so I missed the window by several feet.

  “Ow!” Daniel cried when the first shoe smacked him on the head. He caught the second, also a miss when thrown to Rose. “I’ll just uh... give these to you tomorrow?” He didn’t wait for a reply, just stuffed them in his back pocket, and steadied the ladder again.

  I had a much better grip with bare feet, but the chain ladder was so wobbly I lost my balance anyway. As I anticipated, I fell when I was only two feet from the windowsill. I squealed all the way down, but as always, Daniel was there for me. He caught me, and we both went down together. It still hurt, but he broke my fall enough that my arms, legs, neck, and every other breakable thing were still intact when we both got up.

  I heard clapping and glanced up at Rose, thinking her clapping was a little rude, considering I could have died, but her hands were still and gripping her windowsill tightly. Oh, no. I lowered my eyes to the window below Rose’s, the dining room. Both parents were standing at the open window, clapping at us with smirks on their faces.

  “I’m a dead man. See ya, Peaches!” Daniel darted off toward his bike, but my father yelled out the open window after him.

  “Stop right there, young man!” Daniel froze and looked over his shoulder. “What you do right now tells me a lot about who you are as a man and as my daughter’s friend. Run away like a coward or come inside and face the music.” My father issued the ultimatum and walked away from the window.

  My mother raised her hands in the air and shrugged with a sympathetic smile. “Good luck, kids,” she said, then headed toward the stairs, likely to bed. I looked back to Daniel, still frozen in the yard wit
h a choice to make. He grumbled and turned around, head hung, and walked toward the front door.

  Rose disappeared from the window, also in a heap of trouble. I felt awful, and I knew one day I’d have to take one for the team to make it up to her. I followed Daniel to the porch, where he sat his helmet on the porch swing.

  “Goodbye, old friend,” he said, patting it before opening the door to let me in.

  “Why are you telling your helmet goodbye?” I asked.

  “It’s been good to me, Peaches, but when your Dad’s through with me, I probably won’t be able to walk, let alone ride a bike again,” he said.

  “Don’t be silly, Daniel. He’s an ER doctor, not a mob boss,” I said, letting the screen door slam behind us. Rose was already on the sofa, waiting for the two of us to discover our punishments. I sat beside her, and Daniel took the seat on the other side of me. He pressed himself against the arm of the sofa, doing his best to get as far away from me as possible while my father stared him down.

  “Explain,” Dad ordered.

  I swallowed hard. I didn’t fear my father, but I did hate the idea of disappointing him. He was as laid back as anyone could be, and he trusted his daughters to do the right thing. When we didn’t, he had a way of making us feel worse about it by simply being disappointed.

  “We were watching television and accidentally fell asleep on the couch,” I said.

  “Yeah? I’ve used that excuse myself a few times. What were you watching?” he asked Daniel, trying to poke holes in our story.

  “Monty Python, sir,” he said. “Flying Circus on DVD. My grandfather got them for me a long time ago. They’re one of my favorites and... um... So yeah, that’s what we were watching.”

  My father seemed slightly surprised by this and questioned him further. “Which episode?”

  “Season one. I think Peach—I mean, Hazel, fell asleep on episode four. I don’t remember episode five, so I’d say I fell asleep right after learning how to defend against people with fresh fruit,” he responded, giving a much more detailed answer than I would have, but I assumed he was nervous.