Beautiful Oblivion

by Jamie McGuire

  Then I noticed people checking their text messages, and answering their phones, and then running out.

  Raegan noticed, too. She stood up, her eyebrows pulling in. "That's . . . weird." She waved at Kody. "Fight outside?"

  He leaned back, trying to make eye contact with Gruber at the entrance. "Something going on outside?" he yelled. His voice boomed, carrying across even the club music. Kody shook his head at Raegan. "Nothing."

  Blia ran in, holding up her phone. "Holy fuck balls! It's all over Facebook!" she cried. "Keaton Hall is burning!"

  "What?" I sat, every muscle in my body tensing.

  "Turn that shit off!" Hank yelled to the DJ. The music was silenced, and Hank pulled out the remote, turning up the flat screen that usually broadcasted sports. He switched channels until the news came on.

  The dark image was shaky, but finally it came into focus. Smoke was billowing from Keaton and terrified students were running across the lawn. The caption read Amateur Video Taken by Cell Phone Outside Eastern State University's Keaton Hall.

  "No. No!" I yelled, grabbing for my keys. I pushed up the hinged section of the bar, taking two strides before Hank yanked me back.

  "What are you doing?" Hank said.

  "Trent is in there! He's at Travis's fight!" I pulled against his grip, but he wasn't letting me go.

  Jorie appeared next to us, her eyes flickering. "You can't go in there, Cami. The place is on fire!"

  I fought against Hank. "Let me go! Let me go!" I screamed.

  Kody came over, but instead of helping me, he assisted Hank in holding me in place. Gruber rushed around the corner, but he stopped several feet away, watching with wide eyes.

  "Shh," Raegan said, gently pulling me away from them. "Call him," she said, handing me her phone.

  I took it, but my hands were shaking so much that I couldn't press the numbers. Raegan took the phone from me.

  "What's his number?"

  "Four-oh-two-one-four-four-eight," I said, trying not to freak out any more than I already was. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest, and I was gasping for air after my struggle with Hank and Kody.

  We waited. No one moved. No one spoke. Raegan's eyes danced around until they finally settled on me. She shook her head.

  I didn't wait to give them a chance to restrain me again. I sprinted for the entrance and burst through the double doors, to my Jeep. My hands still shaking, it took me a few tries before I got the key in the ignition, but once the engine started, I peeled out of the parking lot.

  Campus was less than ten minutes away, and I rolled over several curbs to get past the traffic and to the parking lot closest to Keaton Hall. The scene was even more frightening in person. The water from the pumper trucks had already soaked the ground and had reached the asphalt. As I ran across the lawn, my boots sloshed on the saturated grass.

  The red-and-blue lights from the emergency vehicles flashed on the surrounding buildings. What seemed like miles of hoses ran from the hydrants to various windows and doors of Keaton, where firefighters had run toward danger. People were screaming and crying, and calling out names. Dozens of bodies were lying in a line, covered with yellow, wool blankets. I walked along them, staring at the shoes, praying I didn't come across Trenton's yellow work boots. When I got to the end of the line, I recoiled. One pair of feet was missing a heel. The other foot was bare, displaying perfectly manicured toes. The big toe was painted with a black-and-white chevron, with a red heart. Whoever she was, she was alive when those toes were painted, and now she was lying lifeless on the cold, wet ground.

  I covered my mouth, and then began searching the faces around me. "Trent!" I screamed. "Trenton Maddox!" The more time that went by, the more bodies were dragged out, and fewer people were being saved. It looked like a war zone. So many of my regulars went to these fights--classmates, from college and high school. Since I'd arrived on the scene, I hadn't crossed paths with any of them. I didn't see Travis, or Abby, either, and I wondered if they were among the dead as well. Even if Trenton had made it out and his brother didn't, he would be devastated. After a time, it grew eerily quiet. The crying was reduced to whimpers, the only sound the buzzing of the hoses, and the occasional yelling among firefighters. I shivered, and realized for the first time that I wasn't wearing a coat.

  My cell phone rang, and I nearly dropped it trying to get it to my ear. "Hello?" I cried.

  "Cami?" Raegan said. "Stay put! Trent is on his way to you!"

  "What? You talked to him?"

  "Yes! He's okay! Stay put!"

  I hung up, and held the phone to my chest, shaking uncontrollably, and looking around, waiting and hoping Raegan was right. Trenton appeared, a hundred yards away, running at full speed in my direction.

  My legs gave out, and I fell to my knees, sobbing. Trenton fell in front of me, wrapping his arms around me. "I've got you! I'm here!"

  I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything but sob and claw at his shirt. Trenton ripped off his coat and draped it over my shoulders, and then his arms were around me again, rocking me until I calmed down.

  "It's all right, baby," he said, his voice calm and soothing. His face was streaked with soot and sweat, and his shirt was filthy. He smelled like a campfire, but I still buried my face in his chest.

  "Travis and Abby?" I finally managed.

  "They're okay. Come on," he said, bracing himself to stand. "Let's get you home where it's warm."

  Trenton drove the Jeep to my apartment. Hank had closed down the bar out of respect, so Raegan and Kody huddled together on the love seat, watching the news while Trenton and I took turns in the shower.

  In a fresh pair of gray sweats and fuzzy socks, I snuggled up to Trenton in my bedroom. I hugged him tightly, pressing my temple against his side. My wet hair was soaking his Spaceballs T-shirt, but he didn't care. It was all too hard to process, so we just sat in silence, holding one another until I'd spontaneously break down again.

  Kody knocked on my door, and then he came in, followed by Raegan. She looked everywhere but into my eyes. "Baker's mom was just interviewed. He didn't make it."

  I was devastated, but I was all cried out. I just closed my eyes, and my lip quivered. Trenton held me close, and we both jumped when his cell phone rang.

  He glanced at it. It rang again. "It's just a number."

  "Local?" I asked. It rang a third time. He nodded. "Answer it."

  He held the phone to his ear, hesitant. "Hello?" After a short pause, he lowered the phone to his lap. "Too late."

  Kody and Raegan went to bed, but I just lay there in Trenton's lap. I didn't want to turn off the lights. I wanted to see him, with my own eyes, and know that he was alive and okay.

  Trenton ran his fingers through my hair. "I left her," he said.

  I sat up. "Who?"

  "Abby. Travis couldn't get to us. He was going to go out the way everyone else came in, and Abby was going to take us through the back way. We got lost. We ran across a bunch of lost girls. They were following a guy, but he was just as lost as they were. I panicked." He shook his head, staring at the wall. "And I fucking left her." A tear fell down his cheek and he looked down.

  "She got out," I said, touching his thigh.

  "I promised Travis I would take care of her. When it came down to a life-or-death situation, I pussed out."

  I grabbed his chin and turned him to face me. "You didn't puss out. You have strong instincts, and your mom is on the other side watching after you. What happened to that group you passed?"

  "I broke a window and I lifted the guy up, and then lifted the girls so they could climb out."

  "You saved their lives. No way could that guy have done it on his own. Your mom helped Travis find his way to Abby, and she helped you save more lives. That's not pussing out. That's stepping up."

  Trenton's mouth turned up slightly, and he leaned toward me, kissing my lips. "I was so scared I was never going to see you again."

  My lip began to quiver again, and I pressed my fo
rehead against his, shaking my head. "I kept thinking about that bad feeling we both had earlier. And then when you left, how I felt like it was good-bye. I have never been that afraid in my life, and that's saying something. My dad can be pretty terrifying."

  Trenton's phone chirped. He picked it up, reading a text message. "It's from Brad at Sig Tau. We've lost three so far."

  My shoulders sagged.

  Trenton frowned at his phone, pressed a button, and held the receiver to his ear. He looked at me. "I had a voicemail from that number. It never sent an alert."

  "Maybe because you halfway answered it?"

  "It's from that weird number."

  A female voice said, Ugh, and nothing else. Trenton frowned, and then hit a button. I could hear it ringing several times, and then the same female voice answered.

  "Hello?" she shrieked. "Trent?"

  Trenton seemed confused and surprised at the same time. "Abby? Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah, we're fine. How are you?"

  "I've been sitting with Cami. She's pretty upset about the fire. She lost some of her regulars."

  I lay down on his lap again, and all I could hear of Abby's voice was high-pitched chatter.

  "Yeah," Trenton said. "It's like a war zone down there. What is that noise? Are you in an arcade?" he snapped at her.

  I sat up.

  "What?" he said, even more perturbed. Surely not. They wouldn't. "Okay, with what?" he asked. "Abby, stop playin'. Just fucking tell me." We were both exhausted, and whatever game she was playing, Trenton wasn't having it. I leaned in closer to the phone. Trenton held it away from his ear a bit, so I could hear.

  "There were a lot of people at the fight last night. A lot of people died. Someone has got to go to prison for it."

  I leaned back, and Trenton and I traded glances. She was right. Travis could be in serious trouble.

  "You thinkin' it's gonna be Travis?" Trenton said, his voice low and serious. She had his total attention, now. "What are we gonna do?"

  I leaned in to listen.

  "I asked Travis to marry me."

  "Uh . . ." Trenton said, he looked to me again. My eyebrows shot up halfway to my hairline. "Okay, how in the hell is that going to help him?"

  "We're in Vegas . . ."

  I leaned back to see Trenton's reaction. He was the one with elevated eyebrows, now, and several deep lines running across his forehead.

  "Abby." He sighed. She spoke some more, her voice even higher, sounding more desperate. They were going to get married, hoping it was just crazy enough that the investigators would believe that Travis was in Vegas instead of at Keaton Hall. My heart broke for them. As upset as I was about the man I loved nearly losing his life, they had the same fears, in addition to the fear of dying themselves. And now they faced the possibility of losing each other again.

  "I'm sorry," Trenton said. "He wouldn't want you to do this, either. He would want you to marry him because you want to. If he ever found out, it'd break his heart."

  I leaned in.

  "Don't be sorry, Trent. It's going to work. At least it will give him a chance. It's a chance, right? Better odds than he had."

  "I guess," Trenton said, sounding defeated. Abby remained quiet. "Congratulations."

  "Congratulations!" I said, desperate to feel something other than depressed.

  Abby said something, and Trenton nodded. "Will do . . . and it's really fucking weird that our baby brother is the first to get married."

  Abby laughed, but she sounded tired. "Get over it."

  "Fuck off," Trenton said. "And, I love ya." He hung up, and tossed the phone to the end of the bed. After staring at my broken closet doors for a while, he laughed once. "I need to fix those."

  "Please do."

  "Travis is getting married before me. I don't know how to feel about that."

  "You wish them well. They could be married forever and have ten kids, or they could get divorced next year. And that's all if Travis doesn't end up . . ."

  Trenton looked down at me.

  "I'm betting on the ten kids scenario."

  "Me, too," he said. He leaned his head back against the headboard, and closed his eyes. "I'm going to marry you someday."

  I smiled. "When pigs fly."

  He shrugged. "I can put a pig on a plane. No problem."

  "Okay, when you dance around in a thong to Britney Spears in front of your dad. That's when we'll get married."

  He took in a long, deep breath, and then blew it out. "Challenge accepted."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  It felt strange to return to campus Monday morning. Trees were tied with black ribbons, and Keaton Hall was quartered off with yellow police tape. Murmuring could be heard in every hallway, elevator, and stairwell. People were discussing the fire, who died, who lived, and who was to blame. They were also gossiping about the rings on Travis and Abby, and speculation about a pregnancy began to circulate.

  I just let them talk. It was nice to hear something other than theories and conspiracies surrounding the fire. The police had already been by Jim's and spoken to Trenton, so I wasn't letting on that I knew a damn thing.

  After classes, I trudged through the muddy lawn to the Smurf and froze when I saw T.J. leaning against the side of the bed of the Jeep, tapping on his phone. He stood up straight when he noticed me standing twenty feet away. I continued to walk, albeit slowly.

  "I wondered if you would come back," I said.

  "Took the first flight out."

  "Checking on everyone?"

  He nodded. "Damage control."

  "What can you do?"

  He shook his head. "It's both of them."

  "You leave Trent out of it," I snapped.

  He laughed once without humor, clearly surprised at my anger. "It's not me, Camille."

  "If you're not here for work, then why are you here?"

  "I can't tell you the specifics, Camille, you know that. But I'm here, now, to see you."

  I shook my head. "T.J., we've talked about this. Your random drop-ins are making things a lot harder than they have to be. So unless you're ready to come clean . . ."

  He shook his head. "I can't do that right now."

  "Then you should go."

  "I just wanted to say hi."

  "Hi," I said, offering him a small smile.

  He leaned in to kiss my cheek, and I backed away. As much as he wanted to pretend that it was all innocent and friendly, we both knew it wasn't.

  "I was just saying good-bye."

  "Good-bye."

  T.J. nodded, and then turned around and walked away.

  I drove home to grab a snack before leaving for the shop, feeling sad. I made a couple of ham-and-cheese sandwiches, and then ate one on the way, thinking about the stuffed animals and flowers that had begun to pile up in front of Keaton.

  When I pulled up to Skin Deep, the Intrepid and Hazel's Talon were already there. I walked in, but no one was at the desk or in the vestibule. I walked a few steps down the hallway, immediately seeing Trenton's yellow boots, one of his feet bouncing up and down.

  "Just fucking do it, Hazel! Are you waiting for Christ to come back? Fuck!"

  "No," she said sweetly, glancing at me. "I was waiting for her."

  She impaled his ear, and he stifled a growl, followed by a string of expletives--some I'd never heard before.

  "Beautiful!" she said.

  "Really? I'm getting fucking gauges for you, and you call me beautiful? How about manly? Studly? Badass?"

  "Pretty!" Hazel said, planting a kiss on his forehead.

  Trenton groaned.

  "I brought you a ham and cheese," I said, picking off tiny bites of ham in the remainder of mine. "It's in the bottom cubby up front."

  Trenton winked at me. "Love ya, baby."

  "Next!" Hazel said.

  Trenton's smile vanished.

  Hazel stabbed him again, and both of Trenton's feet came off the floor, but he didn't make a sound. "And that is why I waited for you
r girl. So you wouldn't cry. Damn, Cami takes your dick every night, and it's way bigger than a sixteen gauge."

  I frowned. "Uncalled for. You need to get laid. You've been super in-apropos lately."

  Hazel jutted out her lip. "Tell me about it!"

  Trenton wore a wry smile. "But she's right, baby doll. I'm way bigger than a sixteen gauge."

  I choked. "I'm outta here." I walked back to my desk, threw away the rest of my sandwich, and organized forms, counting to see which ones needed more copies. Then I walked back to the copy machine. I didn't have to do busywork for long, though. Our afternoon was soon filled with students getting tattoos for their deceased classmates, frat brothers, sorority sisters; and in one case, a father came in to get a tattoo in memory of his daughter.

  I wondered if any of the people walking through our door knew the girl with the pretty toes. I closed my eyes tight, trying to fill my mind with something more pleasant. By close, we were all exhausted, but Trenton and Bishop wouldn't leave until everyone who came in for commemorative ink got what they came for.

  When the last customer left the building, I rocked my hips from side to side as I logged off of the computer, trying to provide some relief to my sore back. The shop floor's carpet was placed over concrete, and standing on it all day was torture.

  Hazel had already left for the night, and Calvin tore out of the parking lot five minutes after the final customer. Bishop and Trenton cleaned up, then came to the front to wait for me.

  Bishop was glaring at me, and it didn't take long for me to notice. "What?" I asked, a little snippy. I was tired and not in the mood for his weirdness.

  "I saw you today."

  "Oh?"

  "I saw you today."

  I looked at him like he was crazy, and so did Trenton.

  "I heard you," I said, disgusted.

  "I saw T.J., too. That was T.J., right?" He put emphasis on the letters. He knew.

  Oh, God.

  Trenton's face immediately jerked in my direction. "T.J.? He's in town?"

  I shrugged, trying like my life depended on it to keep my face emotionless. "He came to check on family."

  Trenton narrowed his eyes and clenched his teeth.

  "I'll get the lights," I said, walking down the hallway and opening the main breaker. I flipped the switches, and then returned to the vestibule. Bishop and Trenton were still standing there, except now Trenton was staring at Bishop.

  "What did you see?" Trenton asked.

  "I'll tell you. But promise me you'll think before you act. Promise me you'll let me explain." I knew I couldn't explain everything. I just needed to buy some time.