A Soldier's Honor

by Regan Black

  “It’s a factor, sure.” Matt winked.

  Caleb rolled his eyes. “Be serious.”

  “I am.” Matt wouldn’t insult Caleb with anything less than straight talk. One more parenting tip he’d picked up as Ben and Patricia’s oldest, he supposed, as well as from Bethany’s example. “You know we’ve talked through the years?”

  “Yeah, you’ve said.” He started picking at one of the healing scratches on his hand.

  “Right. It hasn’t been easy to stay out of your life,” Matt said. “You’re on my mind every day. Seriously,” he added at Caleb’s derisive snort. “No matter where I was working or training, you were on my mind. I can’t tell you how hard it was to listen to other soldiers brag on their kids and not be able to jump in and set them straight.” To honor Bethany’s wishes and protect their secret, he’d never carried a picture of Caleb. He supposed now he could. “Naturally, thinking of you meant I was thinking of your mom, too.”

  “So you kissed her because she’s the one that got away.”

  Matt didn’t care for that confident tone. “Where did you get an idea like that?”

  “School.” Caleb shrugged.

  Matt couldn’t remember thinking about much more than cars, sports and girls—in that order—when he was fourteen. And at that age, his thoughts about girls didn’t run as deep as “the one that got away.”

  “Are you going to marry her?” Caleb asked.

  “Now you sound like my mom,” Matt replied. He didn’t need two lectures on that particular topic on the same day.

  “Well? What did you tell her?”

  Matt forced a smile when he wanted to grind his teeth. “Takes two people to answer that question,” he said. “Three, in this case, counting you.”

  “I get a vote?” Caleb hopped up on the opposite couch. “Why?”

  “Your mom has always put your needs first. That won’t change.” In fact, Matt intended to make sure she could count on him to be a benefit in their son’s life. While Caleb chewed on that, Matt changed the subject. “My mom and dad are eager to meet you.”

  “It’s kinda cool thinking about having more grandparents,” Caleb said.

  By Matt’s count, everyone except Bethany thought Caleb meeting his family was a great idea. If she didn’t open up soon, he’d have no choice but to start digging into why she was so resistant to the idea. “When we meet them, promise not to let it all go to your head.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “My mom’s likely to smother you with attention, questions, cookies, the works. Think you can handle that?”

  He lifted his chin. “I’m tough.”

  “Are you? I hadn’t noticed,” Matt joked. “It could feel like a gauntlet, especially if you factor in my brothers and sisters.”

  “You think they’ll like me?”

  “Absolutely.” He’d never been more certain of anything in his life. “I’m sure they can’t wait to dote on you. My parents are pretty ticked off with me about keeping you a secret, and my siblings are likely to be mad at me, too. Anything bad they say about me is a lie—remember that.”

  Caleb laughed. “Were you ever tempted to tell them?”

  “Yes.” He’d lost count of the number of times he’d picked up a phone or started an email for precisely that purpose. “Every time your mom sent me one of your school or soccer pictures.”

  “You have all of those?” He glanced around the room as if trying to spot any proof.

  Matt nodded. “The pictures would be out if my family didn’t drop in unannounced so often. I gave your mom my word I wouldn’t tell them until she gave me the all clear.” He stopped, realizing this wasn’t an issue anymore either. “Wait right here.”

  He all but ran to his bedroom closet and rooted out the box filled with all the pictures and highlights Bethany had sent him through the years. Matt came back and sat down next to Caleb, placing the box on the coffee table. He removed the lid and Caleb’s eyes went wide.

  “Wow,” he said.

  Matt stood up and crossed the room, choosing two framed pictures from the bookshelf. One held a print of his parents on the boat—the first trip they’d taken after his dad retired. The other was a picture of the Riley clan, all of them disheveled and grinning after the annual Thanksgiving touch-football game. “Is your phone handy?” Matt asked, taking the pictures out of the frames. Caleb pulled it out of the front pocket of his hoodie. “Take a good picture of both of these until we can get you frames for the real photos.”

  “You mean it?”

  “Unless you don’t want them.”

  “No. I mean yes, please. I want them.”

  “Then they’re yours,” Matt said. His heart about to burst with happiness, Matt added Caleb’s latest pictures to the frames. He carried both back to the shelf and reorganized things to make Caleb front and center.

  “Thanks, Matt.”

  “My pleasure.” He smiled, though it stung to have his son call him by his first name. He didn’t blame Caleb, but he hoped that, with enough time, he’d hear his son call him Dad.

  He returned to the couch and pulled out pictures one by one, urging Caleb to talk about the highlights of each school year and each soccer season. The conversation transitioned to sports and his favorite classes—science and history—and when Caleb started to yawn more than chatter, Matt sent him off to bed.

  Tomorrow would be a long day. He’d called before they left Bethany’s house and discussed how to proceed with Knudson. The general had called him back after he scheduled a meeting with investigators and security to review how the breach and recent incidents might be related. They would also assess the risks and solutions to keep all three of them safe moving forward, until they pinned down the source of the trouble. He knew he couldn’t keep them tucked to his side indefinitely, no matter how right it felt. For tonight, he’d enjoy another night of being under the same roof with Bethany and Caleb. Almost like a real family.

  He paused before he shut out the lights in the living room, marveling at how good it felt to have Caleb’s pictures out where he could see them.

  Sensing movement in the hall, he turned to scold Caleb and found Bethany standing in the shadows, watching him. Wearing loose knit pants decorated with cartoon owls and a red thermal tunic, she couldn’t be more tempting if she’d strolled out here in sheer lingerie. She’d braided her long hair, leaving her face unframed, and her fingers toyed with the placket of her top, her eyes wide.

  He held out a hand, beckoned her closer so she could see the new pictures. “Look.”

  Her brow wrinkled a little as she stepped into the light. When she noticed the pictures, her eyes filled with tears, though none spilled over her lashes.

  “You always know just what to do,” she said, her voice as soft as silk.

  He decided not to argue.

  She wrapped her arms around her waist. “I’ve wondered for years how much damage I was doing to Caleb and tried to pretend you weren’t suffering at all.”

  Unfortunately, suffering was an accurate assessment. The way she was beating herself up enough for both of them made him go with the kinder response. “Caleb isn’t showing signs of being anything less than a well-adjusted kid.”

  Her lips curled into a soft smile. “I have extra pictures at home. I’ll send them to your parents when we get back.”

  “That’s the right way to suck up to my mom.” As he had hoped, it made her laugh. She clapped a hand over her lips to smother the bright sound and glanced over her shoulder as if expecting Caleb to catch her again.

  Matt drew her over to the couch, simply to keep himself from scooping her into his arms and carrying her to his bed. “Don’t take this the wrong way.” Unable to resist, he slipped an arm around her waist and enjoyed the sweet feeling. “I’ve wanted to display his pictures from day one.”

  “I know
.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “If you want to take him next week, for his fall break, you should.”

  Yes, he absolutely wanted to take Caleb. Not just for a week or every other weekend. He wanted the day to day, with Caleb and Bethany. Anything less felt incomplete, wrong. It was the reason he’d never pushed for partial custody. After all she’d done to protect his place in West Point and subsequently his career, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything that would upset her.

  “We can talk about it,” he hedged. She tensed, sidled away. He let her go, though it cost him. “I definitely want time with him,” he assured her. “I’m not willing to break up the band before we clear up the threats.” And he wasn’t quite ready to trust anyone else with her safety.

  “Thanks.”

  Gratitude wasn’t what he expected. “I haven’t done much. I’m counting on the investigators to find the lead.”

  Her hands smoothed over the back of the couch. He envied that leather upholstery. “You’ve stepped up without any judgment,” she said. “I shouldn’t be surprised.”

  Feeling as if they were at the edge of an important revelation, he waited for her to elaborate. Would she finally explain what she needed from him to keep him around?

  “We’ve been tossed into a challenging situation,” he said when the silence became uncomfortable. “This time we’ll get through it together.”

  “All right.”

  He wished he could erase the dark smudges under her eyes, the small lines of stress bracketing her mouth. “Go get some sleep,” he suggested. “We all need to be fresh for the interviews tomorrow.”

  She studied him for a brief eternity and then finally walked back to the guest room without another word.

  He watched her go, wondering what she thought she saw in his face. For so long, he’d blamed himself for being the wrong guy, the guy she wouldn’t trust to provide for her and their son. Either she was more trusting now that Caleb was older, or that had never been the real problem.

  Matt headed to bed, his mind mulling over recent events. As much as the threats and bullets sucked, he found the silver lining in the circumstances that gave him another chance to be the father he wanted to be.

  Chapter 6

  Despite a restless night, Bethany rose early to shower and dress before she woke Caleb. She kept it simple, choosing black slacks and a soft white shirt. She left her hair down and saved the pumps and blazer until they were ready to walk out the door.

  Determined to make a hearty breakfast for all of them, she hurried to the kitchen, only to run into Matt, who was waiting impatiently for his first cup of coffee to brew.

  He turned, a self-conscious smile on his face, and her hormones danced a happy jig at the sight of that lone dimple in his cheek. Along with the rest of him. The morning greeting died on her tongue and she bit her lip to keep from sighing over the view. Hair dark and damp from a shower, the crisp scent of his soap lingering on his skin. He’d clearly pulled on the sweatpants just to grab a coffee before he dressed for the day.

  “Did you sleep okay?” The dimple disappeared as his smile faded.

  She nodded. “I-I was going to make breakfast.”

  His brown eyes lit up. “Really? That would be fantastic.” His coffee done, he picked up the mug while watching her. “You look great.”

  She had no idea what she was wearing, too busy staring at the carved expanse of his chest, which was dusted with dark hair. “Thanks.” Her fingertips tingled. She pointed to the fresh bandage, stark white against his skin. “How is that healing?”

  “No worries.” He stepped away from the brewer. “All ready for you.” He lifted his chin toward the cabinet. “Mugs are up there.” His gaze skimmed over her, his slow smile warming her as effectively as a touch. “You brought tea, right?”

  “Yes.” She cleared her throat and moved toward the brewer, wishing he would give her a smidge more space. Forcing her mind away from the temptation he presented, she reminded herself they were here, playing house, because someone had shot at their son. Unpleasant as it was, she had to remember she wasn’t here for second chances. “Any requests?” She caught him staring at her lips. “For breakfast,” she clarified quickly.

  “Whatever you’re in the mood to make,” he said, grinning. He leaned in, kissing the corner of her mouth and taking his coffee and sexy body to his bedroom.

  Dazzled, she nearly followed him.

  The brewer sputtered, giving her something much safer to focus on. Sipping tea, she found the ingredients for a fast skillet hash. Caleb and Matt emerged from the bedrooms at about the same time, cued by the savory scents of fried potatoes and sausage, she was sure. They set the table while she served.

  “You can expect today to be more formal than yesterday,” Matt said to Caleb. “They’re going to pick apart everything we’ve done—all of us—for the last few weeks, probably more, looking for any clues.”

  Caleb nodded, his eyes downcast. “I didn’t mean to make such a mess by looking for Matt.”

  Bethany rubbed his shoulder. “This isn’t your fault.”

  Matt reassured him, as well. “Someone used you, son. It’s up to the investigators to dig in and it’s up to us to give them what we can. I want you to be prepared for anything.”

  Bethany knew that warning was meant for her, too. Although she and Matt had lived apart for fifteen years, someone was coming at them directly, using information they shouldn’t have. It would be a natural assumption that the culprit had a personal connection.

  Though the overall mood was subdued as they ate, she couldn’t help appreciating how sharp Matt looked in his uniform, the Army’s current equivalent of a business suit. Caleb, in khaki slacks, a white button-down shirt and a tie in his school’s colors of black and red, was dressed more appropriately today for a visit to the Pentagon.

  “Have you apologized?” Matt asked Caleb, surprising her as they polished off breakfast.

  Caleb’s eyes went wide. He swallowed quickly and wiped his mouth with his napkin before turning to her. “Mom, I’m sorry for being rude last night.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I know it’s not really any of my business who you kiss.”

  “Caleb,” Matt said, exasperated.

  Bethany however had caught the glint of humor in Caleb’s eyes and just shook her head. “Get it out of your system now,” she said. “I doubt the investigators will appreciate your jokes.”

  “You got it.” He slid out of his chair and cleared the dishes, even loading the dishwasher. “I’ll clean up while you finish getting ready.”

  She recognized the strategy of sucking up, but she’d rather count her blessings than argue. It would help to go into this meeting on the same page, without any additional family drama.

  When they were ready to leave, Matt surprised her again, calling for a car service rather than taking the Camaro. Caleb was bummed about the choice.

  “Why don’t you drive?” he asked when the driver stopped at the front of the building.

  “Because I love my car,” Matt stated. He opened the back door for Caleb and Bethany, and when they were settled, he sat up front in the passenger seat.

  The driver made quick work of the trip and as they approached the main entrance, Bethany experienced a blend of pride and trepidation. She’d visited the Pentagon for business on several occasions, but the vast complex never failed to impress her. Beside her, Caleb’s nerves were evident as his hands gripped the notebook he’d brought along for the investigators. She nudged him as the car pulled to a stop and when he glanced over, she smiled encouragingly. As she’d hoped, a little tension eased from his young shoulders.

  Matt guided them to the security desk and showed his credentials. Due to her clearance for work, Bethany had an active standing visit request, though she’d never thought to use it for what amounted to a family meeting with th
e potential for a criminal investigation. She showed her ID and entered without any issue.

  Matt had arranged for Caleb’s visitor pass yesterday, smoothing the path for today’s visit as well. Her son’s eyes were huge, and yesterday’s excitement over things like finding Matt and potential bodyguards was tempered now as they made their way to the conference room General Knudson had scheduled for the appointment with investigators.

  The meeting was necessary, she reminded herself, her stomach twisting while they questioned Caleb. Her son had been manipulated and shot at in front of his home. The other threats seemed weak in comparison. She listened as he laid out the timeline of when he’d been contacted through the app, and how he’d logged and resolved the clues provided. All the way up to his solo trip yesterday to track down Matt.

  The investigators took his notebook as evidence, along with his usernames and passwords for his social media accounts. They had her authorize them to search through the cell phone records as well, and then they announced a short break.

  Edgy, she left her chair for the tea service near the door, sneaking a peek at Matt as she passed him. Where would their son be now if he hadn’t found him at Union Station? Her stomach pitched. The important thing was that Caleb was safe and they would keep him that way.

  Together.

  She wasn’t thrilled to share how completely off her motherhood radar had been with a room full of strangers, or even Matt. The failure left a bitter taste in the back of her mouth that even sweetened tea couldn’t erase. “I thought you were struggling with something at school,” she said, giving his shoulder a squeeze as she returned to her chair. “I wish you’d come to me with this sooner.”

  “I know.” Caleb frowned a little, picking at a scab on his hand. “Doing the searches was kind of like solving a puzzle. Besides, I’ve asked you about him,” he said. “I didn’t want another hero story. I wanted to know who I am.”

  “You’re my son.” She couldn’t keep the words inside, couldn’t keep the pain from her voice.

  “I know.” He sounded as miserable as she felt. “Sorry, Mom. Again.”