A Soldier's Honor

by Regan Black

  “Stop. We can’t change yesterday. We can only decide how we manage today so tomorrow is better.” It was a philosophy she’d adopted from one of his soccer coaches a few years back, when the team started showing frustration over their performance on the soccer field.

  “Right.” He smiled, the dimple flashing briefly before the questions resumed, this time focused on her.

  The original letter she’d received was still with the crime lab for processing, but they had a copy of it here with the rest of the file. Impressive, considering she’d given that to authorities in New Jersey. No doubt Matt’s influence made this situation a top priority.

  “I don’t understand who could possibly be this concerned about Caleb’s father.” She bumped Caleb’s knee with hers, gave him a small smile. “Other than Caleb.” Somehow she’d make up for keeping his father away and they’d all get their lives back on track again.

  She regretted voicing her opinion as she suddenly found herself answering pointed questions about her most recent romantic relationships in front of her son and his father. There hadn’t been anyone serious in the last three years.

  She wasn’t exactly embarrassed by that fact; it just felt as if all of the sharing was only going in one direction. Presumably, they’d soon put all of these questions to Matt, as well. On the other side of the conference table, he maintained a perfect poker face. What upset her most was that her lack of a personal life didn’t bother her. Not until she had to spell it out in front of him. And that wouldn’t have mattered at all if she wasn’t still so hung up on him.

  That wasn’t much of a secret either, considering how she’d responded when he’d kissed her.

  Exasperated with herself, she left the table and went to stand at the window when they were done asking her about her friends, associates and whom she’d met on recent travels. Outside, the trees were turning colors, and as she watched them sway with a gentle breeze, she felt like she too was at a seasonal crossroads.

  That kiss he’d laid on her yesterday made her lips tingle even now. Worse than Matt’s flat-out declaration of his desire was the persistent tenderness and care he showed her at every turn. The way he insisted Caleb respect her, despite their son’s understandable anger. With Matt pursuing his career, she’d given up on finding another man who could be her partner, as well as a good father figure for Caleb.

  Then Matt had fallen into her foyer, demonstrating willingness and aptitude for both roles. When would she get past this childish longing to lean on his strong shoulder?

  She tried to concentrate on his responses as the investigators quizzed him, starting with the baseball message on Monday night. It seemed to be up for debate as to who was the real target of the vague threat scribbled on the old baseball.

  Neither the Metro police nor their counterparts in Virginia had found a fingerprint on the ball or a lead on the car. The Cherry Hill police had reported a similar dead end, unable to track the dark sedan after the driver had left her neighborhood.

  Today’s investigators didn’t appear to be any closer to a motive than the other authorities. Nothing in her recent past or his had sparked a theory of who might be orchestrating these events. It was too early in the process to be impatient, yet she couldn’t bear the idea of looking over her shoulder indefinitely. Being cautious, even vigilant, was fine, until paranoia kicked in.

  “Are we sure the drive-by wasn’t random?” she asked Matt when the meeting broke up so they could all have lunch.

  “In your neighborhood?” Matt shook his head. “Not a chance.”

  Caleb was distracted, thoroughly involved in a conversation with one of the two Military policemen General Knudson had assigned to the three of them as an extra precaution.

  She thought about all they’d discussed with the investigators. “Matt.” She slowed her stride, resting her hand on his arm. “Someone drew Caleb out where anything could have happened.”

  “He’s safe,” Matt said. “We’ll keep him that way.”

  “Yes, of course, but that isn’t my point.”

  Matt stopped short and drew her to the side of the hallway. “What is?”

  “I know you’ve considered the idea that all of these incidents are about you. What if the goal was to bring you out into the open or bring you and Caleb together? The two of you were followed and attacked at the house within hours of Caleb finding you.”

  He scowled, his gaze moving up and down the hallway.

  “You’ve thought the same thing,” she pressed. “I knew it.”

  “Based on the timing, sure,” he said. “Based on the message and where it was delivered, it’s questionable.”

  “But not out of the realm of possibility.”

  “The investigators will figure it out,” he said.

  She clutched his sleeve. “Who would do that?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  She saw Caleb look back for them and she and Matt moved to catch up. “We need to find time to talk about this without extra ears,” she said under her breath.

  “He can handle whatever we need to discuss,” Matt said. “Probably best not to hide anything anymore.”

  The mild rebuke set off her temper like a match to dry leaves. “Whether or not he can handle it isn’t the point. He shouldn’t have to. I don’t care how tall he is, he is still a child.” She turned sharply, hiding her next words from Caleb. “You don’t get to waltz into his life and start deciding what’s best for him. You don’t even know him.”

  Any warmth in his brown eyes went glacial and his expression shut her out as her words sunk in. Oh, crap. “Matt, I’m sorry.”

  He stopped her apology with one brutally indifferent look. “You’ve been clear about my role.” His fingers curled around her elbow, his touch polite and cool as he guided her toward Caleb and the two MPs waiting with him to sign out.

  Crap. He’d done everything right, honored her every request. She had to stop letting fear run away with her mouth. “Matt, please listen.” If she could take the words back, she would. If she could rewind fifteen years, she’d do that too and give him the chance at fatherhood he’d begged for.

  “Later.”

  She recognized that look. Of course he meant that he’d listen later, most likely at some point in time after the world stopped spinning. Well, she’d insist they talk at the first opportunity. For Caleb’s sake. No, she had to be honest and hold herself accountable.

  She hid her trembling hands in her pockets as they signed out to leave the building for lunch. They were nearly outside when someone called Matt’s name.

  They all turned, flanked by the MPs.

  “Major Riley.”

  “Major Gadsden.” The men shook hands and then embraced like old friends. “How you feeling?”

  “Hundred and ten percent.” The reply came with a wink and a smirk.

  Bethany studied the newcomer. He had an inch or two on Matt, was lean as a whip and radiated a quiet confidence. Based on the various insignia on his uniform, she recognized he was one of the Army’s elite.

  “Alex,” Matt said. “Meet Caleb and Bethany Trent.” He turned, raising an eyebrow in query, still asking her permission. She gave a tiny nod. “My son and his mother.”

  Alex’s tawny eyebrows jerked up toward his hairline. “Son? Interesting.” He smiled broadly. “You’re a little tall for a newborn.” He reached out to shake Caleb’s hand, and then Bethany’s. “Pleasure to meet you both. Congratulations, man,” he said, slapping Matt’s shoulder.

  “Thanks,” Matt replied, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

  “Should I go grab cigars?” Alex asked, utterly unrepentant. His gaze darted between her and Matt. “I’d love to hear the whole story.”

  “We were on our way to lunch,” Matt said. “Do you have time to join us?”

  “Sure.” Alex walked with them outside
and toward a car the MPs must have ordered for them.

  Matt gave the driver the name of a restaurant and slid across the back seat. Caleb followed and then Bethany. Alex sat up front. Bethany figured Matt was tremendously relieved to have bumped into a friend as a buffer. She couldn’t blame him.

  Driving off, Alex commented on the security team on a motorcycle and in another car following them. “I’m guessing this escort and red-carpet treatment is one of the perks of working for General Knudson. You’re not going soft on me, are you Riley?”

  “You wish,” Matt drawled.

  Caleb started to pipe up and she tapped his knee to keep him quiet. The men were friends and it was up to Matt how much he wanted to share.

  “I can’t believe it. You’re a glorified desk jockey.” Alex shuddered and winked at Caleb. “I’m still rated for fieldwork,” he said, clearly boasting for maximum effect.

  “What kind of fieldwork, Mr. Gadsden?” Caleb asked.

  “Major,” Bethany corrected him quietly.

  “You know, I like the sound of Uncle Alex.” He grinned brightly. “Your dad and I go way back.”

  Bethany wondered if the two men went back far enough that he’d confided in Alex about Caleb, though his surprise at the introductions had seemed real. She was curious that he was taking their sudden appearance so well.

  “We met in Airborne School,” Matt explained.

  “He wasn’t this gloomy then,” Alex assured them. His shrewd gaze landed on Bethany. “How did you meet Matt?”

  “We met while he was at West Point.” It seemed the most neutral explanation.

  Alex opened his mouth to ask something else and Matt cut him off. “How long will you be in town?”

  “I’ve got some irons in the fire,” Alex replied. “Figured we could talk about it over a beer tonight if you’re game.”

  “Why not come over to the condo for dinner?” Bethany offered. “I’ll cook.”

  “Greek chicken?” Caleb asked.

  “Hush.” She elbowed him lightly. “I was thinking chicken parmesan.”

  “Please!” Caleb bounced a little in his seat. “Hers is the best.”

  “With a salad,” she added.

  He deflated a smidge, and then brightened again. “And garlic bread?”

  “Please?” Alex chuckled. “Come on, Dad.” He sent an overblown pleading look Matt’s way. “Say yes.”

  Bethany could see the wheels turning in Matt’s mind. Over her earlier insult or the general trouble, she wasn’t sure. Did it even matter? She needed to find time to clear the air, even if admitting what scared her left her vulnerable to him.

  “Caleb and I can amuse ourselves elsewhere after dinner while you two catch up.”

  Matt exchanged a long, speaking look with Alex and made his decision. “Dinner at the condo is fine.” The car pulled to a stop at the corner closest to the restaurant to drop them off. “For now, let’s grab a burger before we have to get back in there.”

  * * *

  With the security team keeping watch, Matt should have felt safe, but he didn’t. Alex alone was more lethal than a platoon of MPs and yet Matt couldn’t relax and enjoy the food and conversation. His restless anxiety went deeper than the recent security issues. He tried chalking it up to having family close enough to touch. They were his responsibility now, whether they wanted to be or not.

  He snuck a glance at Bethany. Yeah, he had a family all right. And like the family he’d grown up with, she could drop him more effectively with a few well-placed words rather than the weapons he knew how to defend against.

  Shifting in his seat, the healing wound on his ribs complained, making him wince.

  “Are you okay?” Bethany queried, low enough that only he could hear.

  “Fine,” he muttered. She backed off and somehow he felt like an ass.

  Alex was right. He was gloomy. Well, too bad. He was entitled. For years, he’d prayed Bethany would relent so he could get to know his son. Now that she had, it wasn’t going at all as he’d envisioned. Threats or not, he hadn’t expected to get slapped for stepping up.

  Maybe she didn’t want to accept it, and maybe it was a burden, but their son could handle them being open about the dangers and plans. Look what had happened when they’d let him draw his own conclusions.

  Caleb had inhaled his burger, and after a brief discussion, he and Bethany had gone to the ice-cream counter at the back of the restaurant to order milkshakes for all of them. It was a gorgeous day outside and Matt wanted Caleb to have a few memories of DC that didn’t involve Pentagon conference rooms and investigators.

  “So, Miss Trent is the one who’s kept you tied in knots all these years?” Alex’s gaze followed mother and son as he popped the last fry into his mouth. “Any potential?”

  “No idea,” Matt lied, thinking of that kiss. He swallowed a sigh. There was potential, if the way she’d ogled him this morning was any indication. Too bad sex wasn’t all he wanted. Regardless, they wouldn’t make any progress until Bethany let down her guard. “It seems one-sided,” he said. “Factor in the catalyst for our reunion was a security breach, and it’s just layer after layer of bad timing and distorted expectations. He’s nearly fifteen.” Matt balled up his napkin in his fist. “I’ve missed everything.”

  “Not true,” Alex countered. “The kid is smart, athletic and polite. She raised a mini version of you, man.”

  And she’d made it clear she intended to finish the job on her own. “Whatever.” This wasn’t the time or place to get into all of that.

  Alex changed the subject. “About that catalyst.” He double-checked they wouldn’t be interrupted and then slid his cell phone across the table.

  The display showed a picture of Matt, Bethany and Caleb at the restaurant in Philadelphia, where they’d stopped for cheesesteaks. Whoever had taken the picture had either been just outside the restaurant or using an excellent telephoto lens. Though it was a logical assumption that he’d been followed—at the very least to the house—he hadn’t forgotten the same sensation of being watched from the moment Caleb arrived at Union Station.

  “Where did you get this?” Matt asked through the dread pooling in his stomach.

  “Your dad received it,” Alex said. “He asked me to come up here to help you unravel what’s going on.”

  Matt smothered a violent oath behind his hand. “Let me guess, the picture came through, along with some vague threat about making him pay.”

  “Pretty much.” Alex sat back in his chair. “What do I need to know?”

  This is the second time in two days his parents had been dragged into this, first by the media and now directly. Matt looked around the restaurant, searching for anyone taking undue interest in them. “He reported it, right?”

  “He did. After he sent a copy to me. It should catch up with the investigators by the end of the day. I’m here to help devise and execute a plan as needed.”

  Seeing Caleb and Bethany heading back to the table, loaded with treats, Matt forced a smile to his face. “You know, I thought the worst of this breach would be the potential for identity theft.”

  “Right there with ya,” Alex muttered. “I’m not sure I believe in such a thing as online security or integrity anymore.” He turned and gave mother and son a big grin. “But that right there is the silver lining.”

  Matt agreed. “Better believe it.” He picked up the tab for the meal and then the four of them headed out to the park, milkshakes in hand, the security team sticking close.

  As they walked along the trail, he did his best to avoid Bethany without being too obvious about it. Alex picked up on his intention and monopolized her attention, leaving Matt and Caleb to chat uninterrupted.

  Still, his attention naturally drifted toward her like a moth to a flame. Since she’d left West Point to have Caleb, he’d been forced to put their rel
ationship away, all his dreams stored on a shelf in the back of his mind, where he could ignore it at least half the time. Much harder to keep that box shelved when she was within easy reach. Her smile hadn’t changed and neither had his pleasure when she shared that smile with him.

  Right now, she was laughing at whatever nonsense Alex was spouting and Matt felt a ridiculous spurt of jealousy.

  What could he do to convince her to give him a real chance? They were older and still attracted to each other. He’d never gotten over her and he’d experienced a perverse satisfaction when she told the investigators she hadn’t been seriously involved with anyone for some time now.

  Did that leave an opening for him, or was he getting lost in another pipe dream? Pipe dream, he decided. Her priorities hadn’t changed. She remained as independent as ever, career-minded and determined to give Caleb a normal, suburban life. He didn’t want to change any of those things about her; he just wanted to be welcome within that tight, protective circle.

  He wanted the right to state his opinion about what was best for his son.

  Matt glanced at Caleb, who was chattering away about an upcoming soccer tournament in Maryland. His brown hair was tousled, shot with gold from all his time on soccer fields. He was lanky and, though it probably wasn’t possible, it seemed as if he’d grown an inch since they met on Monday.

  “This will all be over by then, right?”

  Matt couldn’t make that promise. “I hope so. Either way, we’ll have a workable solution established by then.”

  “Awesome.” He slurped at his milkshake. “Will you come watch me?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” Matt replied immediately.

  Caleb’s happy smile rivaled the sun shining overhead. “Great! I’ll tell Mom.” He jogged ahead to share the news with Bethany and she managed to get in a quick hug before he turned and jogged back.

  Matt’s pride and love for his kid swelled in his chest. Yeah, whatever success he might or might not have rekindling a relationship with Bethany, Caleb was his silver lining. He might have missed fourteen years, but he could make sure he was around from this point forward.