Holding Out for You

by Anna Paige

  Becker was talking to Charli about the neighbors, idle chit-chat as they both acted like there wasn’t the same type of current flowing between them as well.

  It was amusing to watch the awkwardness between them, and I turned to Blair with a smirk, nudging her foot under the table as she too watched them stutter and struggle for polite conversation.

  I couldn’t help wondering what they’d talked about while we were in the kitchen getting dessert.

  Blair nudged my foot in return, twice, bringing my attention back to her as she whispered, “They’re so hot for each other. Why are they fighting it?”

  I leaned in closer, dropping my voice as I held her eye with a smirk. “No idea. But I say we send Charli home with Beck so you and I can be alone.”

  Her eyes widened slightly, and her gaze dropped to my mouth. “That’d be a dangerous arrangement.”

  “For whom?”

  She gulped and glanced once more at my mouth. “Everyone.”

  “How so?”

  “Classes,” she sputtered, as if struggling for an excuse. “Charli and I have classes in the morning.”

  “So, being ravaged all night wouldn’t leave you with the mental acuity necessary for learning?”

  Her cheeks flamed and she reached for her wine glass, taking a long sip. “Probably not.”

  I chuckled at her expression as she looked anywhere but at me, her uneven breaths and awkward shifting in her seat making it clear she was aroused. “Little one, I was only toying with you. I have no intention of doing any ravaging tonight. But I would jump at the chance to hold you all night again.”

  “What the hell are you two whispering about over there?” Beck cut in, rolling his eyes. “So rude.”

  “Forgive us if the banal chatter you two are engaging in doesn’t have us on the edge of our seats.” I snorted. “Awkward conversation to mask sexual tension is not my particular cup of tea.”

  “And what is your cup of tea, shithead? Saying lurid things to my sister until she blushes her damn head off? Look at her.”

  “Becker, shit.” Blair turned her head, hiding her face from the three of us.

  “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” He wasn’t to be deterred and that pissed me right off.

  “I suppose it’s better to lead her on with just enough attention to keep her on the hook but never enough to appear to actually want her?”

  Charli’s eyes went round, and in my peripheral vision, I could see Blair spin back to gawk at me even as I stared Becker down.

  “You know better than to call me out like that, Beck. Better to make sure your own hands are spotless before concerning yourself with what I’m doing with mine.”

  Beck narrowed his eyes at me for a moment, but he knew he wasn’t going to punk me down. He started this shit by humiliating Blair the way he did. Even if he meant it as a joke, it wasn’t funny to make her ashamed of how she was feeling.

  No one said a word as he and I exchanged narrowed stares.

  Eventually, he nodded. “I’m sorry, Blair-bear. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or embarrass you. I shouldn’t have singled you out like that. This is all new to me and I’m not sure how to handle it. You know I love you, right?”

  She swallowed hard, like she was choking back tears, but after a moment, she met his eyes and nodded. “I know. And I know this is awkward for you, too. I’ll try not to make it any harder than it has to be. No PDAs or over the top flirting in front of you. Okay?”

  “No, it’s not okay,” he said, shaking his head. “You can’t be expected to mask your feelings or hide parts of your relationship—if that’s what this is—for my sake. I’m a grown man and I need to act like it.” He turned to Charli, who practically jumped at the intensity of his expression. “Starting with asking Charli here out on a proper date, if she’ll have me after all the time I’ve made her wait.”

  Charli’s face was priceless. She gaped at him and her gaze flitted from him to Blair to me and back to Beck several times, like she thought she hadn’t heard him right and needed us to confirm he’d actually said what she thought he did. “Are you serious?” she asked unsteadily.

  The way she said it, so low and disbelieving, had Blair sniffling from her spot across the table and even I felt a little hitch in my chest. She was so sweet on him, had been for as long as I could remember, and that completely vulnerable tone was the most adorable and heartbreaking thing I’d ever heard.

  He’d made her wait so fucking long.

  “Absolutely.” Beck reached across the table and took her hand. “Anywhere you want to go, anything you want to do. Just name it.”

  They quietly sat there looking at each other, both starry-eyed.

  “Hey, Ash?” Blair spoke softly as she grabbed my hand and tugged. “I think I ate too much. Care to take a walk with me so I can burn some of it off?” She tipped her head toward the other end of the table and gave me a pointed look.

  “Lead the way, baby. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth.”

  She snorted as she grabbed our plates and headed toward the kitchen with me hot on her heels. “I think the end of the block would be sufficient for tonight, but that’s good to know.”

  Neither Charli nor Beck even seemed to notice we were leaving, which had us both laughing our asses off all the way downstairs.

  After a couple of minutes of quietly strolling down the sidewalk with her hand in mine, I asked, “Should I take a page from Becker’s book and ask you on a proper date?”

  She shook her head, smiling. “No. I like that whatever is happening between us is unconventional. I mean, after as much time as we’ve spent tormenting each other, we have enough history to skip some of the formalities, don’t you think?”

  “I guess that makes a weird kind of sense.”

  “Plus, it sort of feels like that night after the beach party was our first date, even if we spent it whispering in my parents’ kitchen and snuggling in Beck’s bed.”

  “Under separate blankets, no less,” I added, grinning. “Not a typical date by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel the same way you do. Like it was the official start of something. It wasn’t as subdued as me showing up with flowers to take you out to dinner, but it suits us, I think.”

  “What kind of flowers would you have brought?”

  “Lilies,” I told her without hesitating. “Snow white lilies that would stand in stark contrast to your raven black hair when you tipped your head down to smell them. And when you looked up at me, your brilliant blue eyes would pop even brighter behind the soft petals.”

  “You came up with that answer pretty fast.” She halted in her tracks and looked up at me quizzically. “Have you pictured that a lot over the last couple of years?”

  “If you only knew . . .” I tugged our joined hands up and kissed the tips of her fingers.

  “Then I changed my mind. I want the first date experience.”

  “Really?” I nipped one of her fingertips with my teeth and reveled in the sound of the sharp breath she took in response.

  “Absolutely.”

  “Tomorrow night too soon?” I asked, kissing the spot I’d just bitten.

  “No such thing as too soon.”

  I lowered our joined hands and chuckled as we started off down the sidewalk again. “Clearly you’re not as patient as I have been.”

  “Like you said, our time has already begun. What reason is there to drag our feet anymore?”

  “I can’t think of a single one, and I’m happy as hell that you’re in agreement.”

  That was it, tomorrow was the day and tomorrow night would be the night, if I had anything to say about it.

  I had approximately twenty-one hours to make damn sure everything was perfect for what would hopefully be our last first date.

  Ashton

  Beck’s stubborn ass refused to be ousted from the couch that night, so I grudgingly left around eleven so the girls could get some sleep ahead of their full day of classes.

&nb
sp; I wasn’t happy about it and Beck, the cock-blocking fucker, knew it. I didn’t push, though, since I knew he was only digging in his heels because he was still adjusting to this new dynamic and wasn’t yet ready to just leave me alone all night with Blair.

  I had to wonder if it was partially because he wanted to be close to Charli, but even if it was, the majority of his reasoning was definitely to separate me, Blair, and a bed. So, yeah, I was holding a bit of a grudge over that one.

  By the time I pulled into Mom’s driveway, I was mostly done stewing about it and ready to begin planning for my date with Blair.

  God, she’d looked so disappointed that I was leaving, but it wasn’t like I could say, “Okay, Becker gets the couch and I’ll bunk with Blair.” Technically, I could have, but Beck would have had something to say about that now that he knew there was nothing platonic about my feelings for her. And if I was being honest, I didn’t think I had it in me to keep it PG another night anyway.

  Maybe I could have done it if I thought Blair would have shut down anything X-rated, but I could tell by the way she was watching me that she would not only allow it to happen, she would encourage it vigorously.

  And vigorous it would have been.

  Even though I’d had sex dozens of times while Beck was in the next room over the years, I didn’t think I could bring myself to bed his little sister while he was within earshot of her moans, and there would absolutely be moans.

  And sighs.

  And gasps.

  And screams.

  And begging.

  Shit, I was giving myself a raging hard-on just imagining the noises she’d make.

  Jesus, Ashton. Stop thinking with your cock and get to work. You have to figure out how to make this perfect for her. For us both.

  Reluctantly, I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and began making a list of everything I needed to do the next morning to prepare. It wouldn’t be easy with two apartments to tour, but if I timed it all out just right, I could make it work.

  As I pulled out a notebook from the desk that had been in my room since I was twelve, I couldn’t help smiling.

  After all this time, after every sleepless night lying awake wondering if I’d ever have this chance with her, I was finally getting my shot.

  And I’d never been so excited in my life.

  “Where the hell are the closets?” Beck frowned as we walked through the first apartment of the day. “That cubby hole is not a closet. I don’t think the damn thing is even deep enough to fit a hanger.”

  “You keep all your clothes in a dresser anyway.”

  “Not the point.”

  “Um, you’re nit-picking.”

  “Nit-picking? What about that bathroom? That’s the stuff of nightmares, Ash. Looks like a good place to harvest organs for the black market, and I’d have to stand ten feet away from that toilet to safely take a piss.”

  “You couldn’t hit a brick building from two feet on a good day, much less a toilet from ten. Tiny,” I quipped.

  “Eat shit, Hunter,” he retorted as he flipped me off.

  I laughed and returned the gesture. “Okay, so this place isn’t going to work for us.”

  “Ya fucking think?” He shuddered. “Let’s get the hell out of here. I need a shower. And probably some of that de-lousing powder I keep seeing in prison movies.”

  I followed him out and waited for him to drop the key in the lock box. “Stop being dramatic. It wasn’t that bad. You’re just a neat freak.”

  “And you’re a slob, but even you have to admit that place is disgusting.”

  “Okay, okay. It was kind of smelly and small.”

  He snorted in derision. “Understatement of the century. I sure hope the next one is better than this.” Checking his watch, he glanced over at me as we headed toward our respective vehicles. “We’ve got a couple hours until the next appointment. Want to grab some food?”

  I shook my head. “Can’t. Got errands to run. But I’ll be at the next place on time, no worries.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me and pulled his keys from his pocket. “What errands?”

  “Date prep,” I answered simply.

  “So, you’re taking my sister out tonight?”

  I nodded.

  “What kind of prep?” He was still eyeing me with suspicion.

  “Oh, you know, a few boxes of condoms.” I counted on my fingers as I spoke. “Some lube, a copy of the Kama Sutra, a ball gag, gimp mask, riding crop, nipple clamps—but don’t worry, those are for me—”

  “Ash.” Beck drew in a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers, closing his eyes. “Please don’t make me kill you today. I wouldn’t do well in prison.”

  “True. They have zero closet space, and have you seen those toilets?” His eyes flew open and I gave him a horrified look, putting my hand to my chest for emphasis. “Appalling. But, on the plus side, you’d get that de-lousing you wanted.”

  “I hate you right now, you know that, don’t you?” He opened his door and looked at me over the hood as I stepped between our two trucks and reached for my keys.

  “And you know how I feel about your sister even if she doesn’t, so stop being so goddamned suspicious. This isn’t a conquest for me, Beck, and you know that.” I met his stare with the sincerest look I could possibly give. “You’ve never heard me say I loved anyone else. Not once in all the years you’ve known me. If that’s not proof enough that I’d never fucking hurt her or push her into something she doesn’t want, I don’t know what else to tell you.”

  He watched me for a second and gave a little nod. “I guess you’re right. You have to understand that I’m used to being her protector, so it’s instinct, not anything personal. But I know I don’t need to protect her from you, and you have my word that I won’t consciously get in the way anymore.” He seemed to get lost in thought for a second before he asked, “You meant it when you said you would have taken a bullet for her on that beach, didn’t you?”

  “Goddamn right I did,” I answered with no hesitation. “And if that piece of shit Tommy so much as passes her on the sidewalk, he’s gonna need a gun to keep me from breaking his neck.”

  “Agreed, brother.” He climbed in his truck and called out through the open door. “See you at two. And don’t buy her any white chocolate. She hates that stuff.”

  “Thanks for the tip,” I called back before shutting my own door and firing up my engine. I’d already known about her disdain for white “it’s not real chocolate” chocolate, but Beck giving me tips was kind of a peace offering, and I appreciated the gesture.

  He waved as he backed out of his spot and there was a smile on his face that let me know he’d gained a measure of peace from our conversation.

  He and I were going to be just fine.

  Blair and I were going to be incredible.

  My stepdad answered on the second ring, a smile in his voice as he automatically said, “Ashton, my boy! How are you?” It was the same greeting he always gave, whether on the phone or in person. I didn’t call him Dad, but that didn’t stop him from acting like one.

  “I’m doing awesome, Phil. Absolutely awesome.”

  He paused for a beat. “Well, that’s new. You usually say good or fine or ‘I’m hanging in there’ but never awesome.” That smile in his voice was getting more and more obvious. “Should I venture a guess as to what—or who—has elevated you from your typically mediocre responses to such heights as ‘awesome’?”

  “Never could get anything past you, could I?” I had to laugh.

  “Not a chance, son. You’ve never been great at hiding things.”

  “I beg to differ,” I countered, thinking of a few shenanigans he would have skinned me over, along with how well I’d masked my feelings for Blair all this time. “I’ve been able to sneak some pretty huge shit by you over the years.”

  “I’ve got a crisp fifty-dollar bill that says otherwise.”

  I snorted, kicking back in the desk cha
ir in my room, propping my feet on the corner of the bed. “And how do you purport to disprove my statement?”

  “I can do it in two little words. Care to put your money where your mouth is?”

  “You’re on.”

  There was a protracted silence, so long that I wondered if he’d disconnected.

  And then . . .

  “Blair. Martell.”

  I jerked upright, my feet slipping from the edge of the bed and crashing to the floor as I jumped to my feet. “What?”

  He just laughed his ass off for a minute and said, “You can give me my fifty bucks when I come by this weekend.”

  “But how did you kn—wait, you’re coming over this weekend?” I sat back down and ran a hand over my hair, trying to focus on the most important part of what he’d said. “You’re not picking up the rest of your stuff, are you? Because—”

  “No, Ash. I’m coming to have dinner with your mother. We’ve got some things to talk through and she offered to make a nice dinner for us to not eat while we hash this shit out.”

  “Cooking calms her.” You could always tell when Mom was on the verge of a meltdown because there’d be more food in the house than at ten Super Bowl parties.

  “I know. That’s why I let her run with the idea.”

  “What night are you coming?”

  “Saturday. She wanted Friday, but I refused to let her work all day and then come home and cook like a wild woman all night. We need things calm and unhurried.”

  “I’ll be sure to make myself scarce,” I offered.

  “You know I’d prefer to see you, but yeah, maybe just for that one night.”

  “Actually”—I picked up my list from the desk and tapped one of the items with the end of my pen—“I was calling about something that would take me out of the house for the weekend anyway, as long as you agree to do me a huge favor.”

  “Son, there’s not much I wouldn’t do for you,” he said earnestly, sounding suddenly emotional. “Ask away.”