Holding Out for You

by Anna Paige

  “Where do you want me, sweetheart?” I thrust again and she threw her head back, panting.

  “Everywhere.”

  Goddamn, that one word nearly made me blow my load.

  Two years. It had been over two fucking years—or two years of not fucking, if one wanted to get technical—and I was on the cusp of having everything I’d been craving all that time.

  But we couldn’t.

  Not yet, anyway.

  Not with Beck and Charli due back anytime.

  It wasn’t like a dinner run would take more than half an hour, not in a town where every restaurant and grocery store was within the same three-mile radius.

  Fuck.

  Me.

  I sealed my mouth over hers and pressed hard against her, crushing her against the wall as I devoured her mouth and neck for several long minutes. When I was nearing the edge, the point of no return where I would no longer give a fuck if Beck stumbled in to find me balls deep in her right there on the living room floor, I somehow managed to pull myself away.

  My erection was bordering on painful and I could feel the tension in my spine slowly fading as I took several deep breaths and stared into her eyes. “I must be insane to stop, but we both know we have to. I don’t want it to happen like this. Not with Beck and Charli here, and they’ll be back sooner than we think.”

  It took a minute for Blair to catch her breath and nod, though grudgingly it seemed. “You’re right. It’s just so . . . intense. You and me. I never expected that. Or any of this, really.”

  “You never pictured us together? Not even once?”

  Her cheeks flushed. “I didn’t say that.”

  I stepped back into her space, not able to help myself. I gripped her waist in both hands and pulled her forward until my erection dug into her belly once again. “What did you picture, little one?”

  She glanced away, looking embarrassed.

  “Look at me,” I told her and waited until she complied to ask, “Did you picture me when you touched yourself? Imagine the things I would do to you? How I would feel inside you?”

  Her eyes dropped to my mouth and she licked her lips, looking braver than she had a minute ago. “Yes.”

  “Did you come with my face in your mind?”

  “Yes.”

  “I suppose that makes us even, then.”

  She furrowed her brow and met my eyes. “How so?”

  “Because you’ve been the cause of every one of my orgasms for the past two years. I haven’t been with anyone else, not even once, and when I came, alone in the shower or in my bed, I was thinking of you.” I wondered if that admission would freak her out—or gross her out—but she just appeared curious, and maybe a little turned on by the idea.

  “What did you picture me doing?”

  “Everything,” I answered honestly, running my hand through her hair. “But the thing I pictured the most, the thing that gave me the greatest pleasure, was imagining you panting my name as I slid inside you and told you over and over again how much I love you.”

  Ashton

  Fucking hell.

  Did I just say . . .

  Shit!

  Blair’s eyes went round as she looked up at me. Her lips were only slightly parted, but it was still a jaw-on-the-floor moment, and I could see it there on her face that she wasn’t ready.

  “Shit, I meant how much I loved being inside you,” I stammered, shaking my head. “You’ve got me all discombobulated, little one.” I reached down and readjusted my erection for emphasis and prayed she would buy my explanation.

  She didn’t speak for a moment, and I was pretty sure I’d been holding my breath and my heart had fucking stopped long enough that if she didn’t say something soon, I would drop dead right there in her living room.

  “Slip of the tongue, I suppose.” She shrugged and reached for me, grinding into me once more as she brought her lips within millimeters of mine. “I’m not exactly thinking straight myself right now, so I get it.”

  “You’re not?”

  She shook her head and flicked her tongue over my lower lip. “Not even a little. Because if I were, I wouldn’t be on the verge of dragging you into my bedroom and ripping those goddamned clothes off of you with my teeth.”

  “Blair,” I warned in a low, ragged voice. “One of us has to be sensible here, and ninety percent of my blood has vacated my brain and is pulsing through my cock right now, so it’s clearly got to be you.”

  Just then, her phone began to ring and we both groaned in frustration.

  Great timing, whoever they are.

  God knew it wasn’t looking like either of us had the willpower to stop things.

  She brushed against me on the way by, her arm skimming across my erection in a way I knew was deliberate.

  “Tease,” I muttered, once again trying to adjust it into a comfortable position.

  “Tease, nothing. I was trying to give it up.” She grabbed her phone from the coffee table and swept her thumb over the screen. “Hey, Charli. Shitty timing.”

  I shook my head, smiling at how annoyed she sounded.

  “Of course he did. Dickhead.” Now it was Blair shaking her head as she talked to her friend. I needed to chill the hell out and give myself a minute to remember why tonight was too soon to carry her off to bed, so I headed to the kitchen and grabbed us both a soda from the fridge.

  “You know damn well what I want from there. He made you call and double-check just to be sure Ash and I were interrupted in whatever we were doing.” There was a pause and she snorted softly. “If we were, do you think I’d be able to hold a conversation right now?”

  “Hell no, she wouldn’t. She’d be lucky to be able to form words at all,” I shouted, grinning at her when she looked over at me and laughed.

  “See? He sounded at least ten feet away, didn’t he? So, tell my brother to stop being a cock-blocker and get my damn dinner. Oh, and Moscato. Lots of Moscato.” She frowned at whatever Charli said in reply. “No, no red wine for you. It’s bad enough I’ve had to hear Beck snoring from the couch the last few nights. I’m not listening to your shit, too.”

  I crept up behind her and licked her shoulder where her top was sitting askew. She drew in a shuddering breath as I leaned into her other ear and whispered, “I could stay tonight, keep an eye on things. And I don’t snore.”

  I could vaguely make out Charli’s voice as she yammered on in Blair’s ear, but I couldn’t tell what she was saying. I licked Blair’s shoulder again, this time trailing my tongue up the side of her neck and stopping at the tip of her ear, which I took between my teeth and nipped ever so slightly.

  She let out a little involuntary moan, and I was able to hear exactly what Charli said to that.

  “Blair, what are you doing right now?”

  “Listening to you chatter on about shit that doesn’t matter,” she muttered, leaning back against my chest. “Order whatever you want me to have. I don’t care. Just let me get back to talking to Ash so we can settle this before you get back. And tell my brother making you call me was a petty thing to do and he’s already on my shit list as it is. Love you, bye.”

  She ended the call and tossed the phone on the couch in one swift move, spinning around and throwing her arms around my neck. “That was dirty pool, Ashton. Making me squirm that way while I was talking on the phone. You should be ashamed.”

  “And yet here I am, not even the least bit sorry,” I countered.

  She leaned back and gave me an assessing look. “Are you this way with everyone? This intense and passionate?”

  “You keep using the word intense. Do you mean it in a bad way? Am I overwhelming you?”

  “No. I mean, yes, it’s overwhelming, but not in a bad way. I’m just not used to feeling this way or having someone look at me the way you are right now.”

  “And how am I looking at you?”

  She faltered for a moment, looking away and then squaring her shoulders as she once again met my gaze. “You’re looki
ng at me like that was no slip of the tongue earlier. Like you meant it exactly the way it came out.”

  “And if I did? Would that overwhelm you even more?”

  Her teeth dug into her lower lip as she considered. “Maybe.”

  “Then, for now at least, let’s operate on the assumption that I misspoke. Okay?”

  She seemed relieved and disappointed in equal amounts, which was confusing as fuck, but I knew there had been a lot to process in the last few days. I wasn’t going to let her hesitation deter me. Not when I had everything I’d dreamed of literally in my hands at that very moment. “Okay,” she said, leaning her forehead against my chin and exhaling against my neck. “For now.”

  “For now.” I nodded, kissing the top of her head.

  Blair

  “So, what are you two doing for a place to stay? You can’t both bunk with your parents forever,” Charli asked as she poked at the remaining food on her plate. She’d made a good dent in it, so I wasn’t going to nag, but she still had me worried. Beck’s attention was throwing her off balance, and I was really hoping it didn’t end up with her worse off than she was before.

  “I was supposed to look at three apartments earlier this week, but I rescheduled them all for tomorrow. I did manage to drop by and take a look at one today, but it was a dump. An expensive dump, at that.” Ash shook his head, spearing a forkful of teriyaki chicken. “Beck, you gonna come with me tomorrow in case one of them is actually livable?”

  My brother finished chewing and took a swallow of his beer before answering. “Might as well. No interviews tomorrow anyway.”

  “Oh, how’d the one from yesterday go?” Ash asked, studiously avoiding my brother’s eye. I knew the interview he was asking about was for a job over an hour away, and no matter how unaffected he was trying to appear, Ash was very much concerned that Beck might be leaving.

  We all were.

  My brother shrugged and tilted his head. “It went pretty good, I guess. I think they were impressed with my responses. Won’t know anything for another week or so, if I hear anything at all.”

  “And the other interview is when?”

  “Friday.”

  “That one is closer to home, right?” This from Charli, who wasn’t as talented as Ash at appearing indifferent.

  “It is,” Beck confirmed, smiling slightly. “And it’s more money to start but not as much room for advancement since they have had the same management team in place for over a decade.”

  “Maybe once they see you in action, they’ll decide it’s time for some young blood. You never know,” I offered by way of encouragement. “No matter which job you choose, they’ll be lucky as hell to have you.”

  Charli gave me a dirty look but said nothing. She knew my stance on this.

  I refused to be selfish. If my brother wanted to take a job an hour away, ten hours away, or a thousand miles away, I would support him because I knew damn well he would do the same for me. He deserved at least that much respect after all he’d done for me over the years.

  “What will you do if you find an apartment here but end up taking a job in another city?” Charli, bless her smitten heart, had no qualms about trying to get him to stay.

  “I’ll take over the lease if that happens,” Ash answered for him. “It’s not like we’re going to rent something out of our price range and if he has to bail, I’ll either find another roommate or cover the rent myself and live alone. It’s not that big a deal.”

  “For now, we’ll operate as if I’m staying local since the majority of my prospects are within reasonable commuting distance.” Beck gave Charli a small smile before winking at me and digging back into his food.

  If he was looking to appease Charli with that ambiguous response, he didn’t know her at all. She would worry herself to death about him moving away. I knew her too well to expect otherwise.

  “How’s the rent here?” Ash asked me as he reached for his beer, his eyes lingering on my neck as he swept his tongue over his bottom lip.

  I had to clear my throat and take a deep breath before answering. Just a look from him and I was spinning. “Not too bad. I mean, it’s not exactly opulent, but it’s nice enough and everything is well-maintained.”

  Charli nodded in agreement and plucked a fortune cookie from the pile on the table. “Be better with a pool and an elevator, of course, but other than that I have no complaints.”

  “Maybe we should check with the building manager.” Ash looked over at Becker, raising his brows as if excited. “I saw a moving truck in the lot when I got here. Not sure if they’re coming or going, but it would be easy enough to find out.”

  “Could have been someone’s kid leaving for college,” I said, not wanting to get my hopes up but loving the idea of my brother and Ash being so close.

  Charli shook her head. “Nope. We saw it too when we went out for the food. They were definitely going. People loading stuff in the truck. Big stuff like furniture and a refrigerator.”

  “If someone’s kid was leaving for college, it’s doubtful they’d take the appliances.” Ash caught my eye and grinned. “Unless you’re just making excuses because you don’t want us living so close.”

  “I’m not. I just didn’t want anyone to get their hopes up about an apartment that may not even be available.”

  “Anyone or you?” Ash leaned over and patted my hand where it rested on the table.

  “Why would I get my hopes up?”

  “Because you’d have your awesome older brother at your beck and call at all hours of the day?” Beck commented slyly.

  “Um, I have that already.” I blew him a kiss.

  “No, I was thinking it might be the idea of having your brother’s roommate so close that got you all excited.” Ash had the sexiest grin on his face. It was so damn swoony even Charli sighed from the other side of the table.

  Beck coughed. Hard. In that intentional way people do when they’re trying to change the topic of conversation.

  I started to tease him about it, but when I looked up at him, he was staring at Charli with a scowl on his face.

  Oh, shit.

  It wasn’t him being annoyed by me and Ash at all.

  Charli sighed at Ash and Beck got jealous.

  “Don’t worry, Beck. Ashton is quite the charmer, but she only has eyes for you.” I nodded toward Charli and grabbed Ash’s hand. “Come into the kitchen with me to get dessert and let these two have a few minutes alone so they can pretend there’s nothing between them in private.”

  “Blair!” Charli gasped.

  Beck just picked up his beer and started chugging.

  Before I left the table, I leaned over and whispered into Charli’s ear, “Eep.”

  The little shit threw a fortune cookie at me as I walked away.

  “What the hell is going on with Charli and your brother?” Ash asked as soon as we were in the kitchen.

  I reached into the fridge and grabbed the strawberry cake Charli made Becker buy while they were out. “I wish like hell I knew. But there’s something. Ever since the beach, when he told us to give them time to talk, she’s been hiding something and he’s been way too attentive.”

  Ash grabbed fresh silverware and then propped himself against the counter while I plated the food. “I never would have thought . . . I mean . . . damn.”

  “What?” I asked, licking some icing from my thumb.

  His eyes widened as he watched my mouth, but he managed to stay where he was. “I’m just wondering if your brother has been in the same boat as me all this time.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning, maybe he’s been fighting feelings for Charli all along the same way I was fighting my feelings for you. Or maybe the shit that happened at the beach opened his eyes to feelings he didn’t realize he had.”

  “You think he might have been into her for a while?”

  He shrugged. “Could be. I was so busy trying to act like I wasn’t into you that I didn’t really pay attention to how h
e reacted to her.”

  “But he’s dated a lot, right? Maybe not as much as you . . .” I bit my lip, not liking the images that sentence invoked.

  “He has but nothing serious.” Ash stepped over to help with the plates but stopped me before I could pick any up. “And I went to a lot of dinners and movies and the occasional concert, but I didn’t sleep with those women. There’s been no one since right before your graduation, because that’s when I knew you were it for me, that this wasn’t some crush or passing attraction.”

  “That was over two years ago, Ash.” I wanted to believe him, I really did, but that was a long time for a guy barely in his twenties to just decide to go without sex.

  “Trust me, I know how long it’s been,” he muttered, leaning in close enough for his breath to tickle my lips. “And it was all worth it.”

  “You haven’t even slept with me yet. How can you know how worth it it was?”

  He kissed the tip of my nose and brushed my hair back behind my ear as he smiled down at me. “Seduction begins in the mind, little one. Our moment is happening already, even when our bodies aren’t touching. And yes, I can absolutely, unequivocally state that you were worth the wait. I would have traded ten years for the chance at what I’ve already experienced with you. Even if all I ever got was those few kisses and one night of holding you while you slept.”

  He picked up two of the dessert plates and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me to recover my breath and blink back the tears that had sprung to my eyes not only at his words but because the way he looked at me left no question in my mind.

  It was no slip of the tongue when he said what he did earlier.

  Ashton Hunter loved me.

  And there was no use pretending that the feeling wasn’t mutual.

  Ashton

  I could feel Blair’s eyes on me when she got back to the table, the heat between us was unmistakable and with my last comment to her in the kitchen, something more had been added to the buzzing electricity that practically sparked across the dining room table when she sat down. I knew my words had hit home for her, and I’d meant every damn syllable.