Holding Out for You

by Anna Paige

  It felt like finally being alive.

  It was almost time to start getting ready for class, and I was somewhere between exhausted and wired, having sucked down half a pot of coffee. Beck was still lingering in the kitchen, probably waiting for Charli to emerge from her room so he could see her before he left.

  When I walked in, most likely looking like complete shit from lack of sleep, he chuckled at my expression and reached for my mug to get me a refill. “I’m not sure this will be sufficient, so let me know if I need to get the jumper cables.”

  I flipped him off. “Not necessary. Besides, I can never remember which nipple is positive and which is negative.”

  He cringed and hung his head.

  I grinned and took my coffee to the living room over his groans of protest.

  Served him right for being a smartass.

  A minute later, he stepped into the living room and propped himself on the arm of the couch beside where I sat. “Late night, huh?”

  “Kind of.”

  He waited for me to elaborate, but I didn’t. I was enjoying his discomfort entirely too much.

  He cleared his throat. “I heard you come in—alone—long after midnight.”

  “Do I have a curfew I wasn’t made aware of?” I glanced up at him and took a noisy slurp of my coffee just to get on his nerves. I was feeling particularly feisty this morning.

  “Not at all. I was just making conversation.”

  “You mean, you were trying to say you were relieved Ash didn’t end up coming in to play ‘bury the boner’ last night?”

  He ran a hand over his face and looked up at the ceiling. “Jesus, Blair. I didn’t say anything like that.”

  “But I know where you were going with your train of thought. Because I know you, dummy.”

  He continued to stare at the ceiling. “I begged Mom for a brother.”

  “And I asked if we could trade you for a pony, but that didn’t happen either. Though you are a bit of a horse’s ass sometimes.”

  That got me flipped off.

  “Just so there’s no further discussion, no, we didn’t hook up last night. Ash was not only a perfect gentleman, he orchestrated what can only be described as the most beautiful, thoughtful, meaningful first date in the history of dating.”

  Becker looked down at me with clear surprise on his face. “Bullshit.”

  I put one hand over my heart. “No, I’m beyond serious. I never expected to be completely blown away, but that’s exactly what happened.”

  Charli stumbled into the room, half asleep and blowing on her coffee as she waved for me to continue. “Let’s hear it, bitch. I’ve been waiting for this almost as long as you have.”

  I told them everything. From rollerblading to lying on the football field under the stars and everything in between; I took them through it all. Charli was blubbering before I even got to the end, and I wondered if Becker’s eyes would pop completely out of his skull. But underneath his surprise, I could see he was proud of Ashton, and maybe even impressed.

  He should be.

  When I finished recounting the date of the century, I turned to my brother and said, “Now that you know just how invested he is in doing this right, I expect you to keep your big brother mouth shut when I tell you that our second date is already set. Ash and I are going away together for the weekend, and I want you to swear to take care of Charli while we’re gone.”

  Beck looked torn between wanting to argue and being nervous about a weekend alone with Charli. He drew in a big breath and apparently didn’t hear Charli’s response, which was another hilarious little, “Eep.”

  I giggled at her reaction and reached for my coffee while I let Beck decide what, if any, response he wanted to give to all of this.

  Charli came over and flopped onto the couch beside me, leaning close enough to lay her head on my shoulder. “I can’t believe he did all of that for you. It’s got to be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.” She sighed dreamily. “In a weird way, you kind of owe it all to Becker, though.”

  “How’s that?” I asked, frowning down at the top of her head.

  “Well, if he hadn’t told Ash to ask you for a ride to the beach that night, none of this would have played out the way it has.”

  I tried to follow her logic, but just picturing that night with Tommy and without Ashton made my stomach clench.

  “I didn’t tell him to call Blair,” Becker said, cutting off my train of thought.

  Charli and I both turned to him. “What?”

  “Why would you think I told him to ask you? I didn’t know he even needed a ride that night until he showed up and told me he caught a lift from you and your date.” Now Beck looked as confused as us.

  We were quiet for a minute, all trying to sort it out until Charli’s sharp inhalation broke the silence.

  “Holy shit,” she muttered. “He didn’t know you were on a date when he called you. I bet he was planning to make a move that night.”

  “No way,” I said automatically.

  “Think about it,” she persisted. “He used Beck as an excuse because he knew you’d be more apt to help if it was for your brother. He was looking for a way to see you without Beck around, and that was the perfect opportunity. Even when he heard you were on a date, he didn’t back down, probably because that just made him more determined to see you.”

  “You’re crazy.” I shook my head, looking at Beck to back me up.

  He raised his brows and gestured toward Charli. “She’s got a point and that does sound like Ash. Hearing that you were on a date probably just spurred him on, like he had to get close to you to see if the guy was real competition.”

  “That’s why he was laughing his ass off walking to the car that night. He took one look at Tommy and knew he wasn’t gonna lose you to a guy like him.” Charli snorted.

  We were all silent for a beat while we let it sink in.

  Charli was the first to speak, which was a very Charli thing to do. “I can’t believe he bullshitted his way into the car that night. Sneaky bastard, isn’t he?”

  “Nope, that’s just Ash.” I chuckled, finally giving in and agreeing with them. “One more thing to love about him.”

  Beck nearly choked on his coffee. “Love?”

  I met his eyes and gave one curt nod, refusing to be questioned on something I hadn’t even vocalized to Ash yet. “You’re not deaf. And it’s not up for debate.” I rose from my seat, patting Charli’s arm as I did. “I’ve got to get ready for class. You two have a weekend alone to plan, so I’ll leave you to it.”

  When I walked away, they were giving each other matching “deer in the headlights” looks, and you could have heard a pin drop.

  It was going to be an interesting weekend.

  For all of us.

  Ashton

  “Phil’s coming by tomorrow, huh?” I asked my mom when we met up for lunch around one that afternoon.

  “Oh, he told you?” She didn’t seem surprised that he and I had talked about it. It wasn’t like he left after a huge scary fight that would have pissed me off at him. He quietly packed a bag and took a room at the only hotel in town to give my mother some space to think about what she really expected out of their marriage. He kissed her on the way out the door and texted me that he was still a phone call away, no matter what. I’d been away at school then, but Mom filled me in in that calm, unemotional way she used when she was guarding her heart.

  “He did. I’ve been conspiring with him about a special weekend at the cabin.”

  “I’m assuming it won’t be a weekend alone or with the guys partying or you wouldn’t be grinning like that.” She watched me with a half-smile as she added salt and pepper to her food.

  “No. Definitely not a party thing or a weekend alone.”

  “Who’s the girl who has my typically stoic son so happy?”

  I waited for her to look up from her burger and fries before meeting her gaze and saying, “The one.”

  Her bro
ws rose and she sat her burger down without taking a bite. “Does she have a name, or should I just call her ‘the one?’”

  I chuckled and shook my head. “She’d probably find that odd, since you’ve always called her by her first name.”

  Now Mom leaned in a bit, her interest ramping up exponentially. “Oh, I have, have I?”

  “Generally. I do think I remember you calling her ‘sweetie’ a few times over the years. And maybe her nickname—Blair-bear.”

  Mom gasped loudly enough to draw attention from nearby tables and put a hand to her mouth. “Blair? Blair Martell?”

  I nodded, picking a chunk of bread off the loaf on the table and popping it into my mouth. “That’s the one.”

  “The one, huh?” She clasped her hands together in front of her, grinning from ear to ear and practically bouncing in her seat. “Phil and I knew there was something brewing between you two. Oh, wait until I tell him.”

  She was so excited for me that it didn’t occur to her initially that Phil already knew, because he was helping with our getaway weekend.

  “He knows. And I owe him fifty bucks because of it.”

  Mom threw her head back and laughed, long and loud and undeterred by the stares she was getting. “To be honest, I probably owe him fifty myself. He called this years ago, but I thought he was full of it at first.”

  “Yeah, he was far from surprised. And he’s been great. You should see what he did to the cabin. It’s totally decked out. He thought of everything.”

  She settled down and gave me a little nod. “He’s always excelled in the romantic gestures department.” Her hands went to her napkin and she began picking at it the way I was picking at the bread.

  Unable to hold my tongue, I said, “Mom, I don’t pretend to know what’s going on between the two of you. I don’t know what kind of husband he is because he’s not my husband. All I know is what I see from the outside, so I refuse to weigh in on your marriage.”

  She gave me a half smile that I assumed was appreciation for my understanding.

  “But I do know what kind of father he is, because he is my father. Maybe not by blood, but by choice; by intent. He deliberately stepped in and took on an angry kid who wasn’t always the easiest to love, but he did it anyway. And that’s a fuck-ton more than my birth father ever did. In fact, I shouldn’t have continued calling the abandoning piece of shit who sired me ‘dad’ all these years, because he forfeited that title when he left us. Phil is my dad, and it’s high time I address him as such.”

  There were tears in my mother’s eyes as I spoke, and it was all I could do to continue. The sight of her crying was the only surefire way to level me, but she needed to hear this and I needed to say it. “I need you to know that I love you. God, do I love you, but no matter what happens between the two of you, I’m going to continue to love him too. I won’t take sides against either of you, and I’ll love you both come what may.”

  “I want that, Ashton. I want you to have that with him. You deserve an amazing father, and I know Phil has been that for you. He’ll always be that for you, no matter what. That’s just the kind of man he is.” She sniffed and dabbed her eyes with the corner of her torn napkin. “You’ve always been easy to love. It’s me who’s the problem.”

  “He adores you, Mom. Watching him, the way he is with you, that’s how I learned about love. Real love. And that’s what I want with Blair.”

  The tears were flowing faster as she said, “Wish for something stronger than that. Look at us now. I pushed him away one time too many and now . . .”

  “And now he’s still trying to fix whatever is out of balance between you because he loves you that much.” I reached across the table and took one of her shaky hands in mine. “He’s not giving up. He’s not walking away. And he’s not going to abandon you like your first husband did. If he was ever gonna bail, it would have been during my treacherous teen years, don’t you think?”

  That earned me a smile. “You were still easy to love.”

  “I was an asshole with a chip on my shoulder the size of Texas.”

  “Maybe, but you were an adorable asshole,” she corrected between sniffles.

  “Hardly. And even when I was at my worst, you were both right there for me when I needed you. You were there even when I didn’t realize I needed you. Both of you.” I squeezed her hand. “That being said, I’m a grown man now. I’m still your son, but I don’t need you the same way I did back then, and I’ll be okay if things have to . . . change between the two of you. I just want you both to be happy, whatever that means.”

  She nodded and discretely wiped her nose before blowing out a big breath. “I know what I want. I just have to figure out how to get it.”

  I gave her a wink. “Trust me, I know the feeling. It took me two years to make this leap with Blair. And it’s scary as hell, but when the only future you see is with that one person, you have to go after it. You have to fight past the fear and insecurity. You have to trust your heart enough to follow it without question.”

  “Phil is my heart,” she whispered, whisking away the last of her tears with a look of renewed determination in her eyes.

  “Then go get him, Mom. Bring him home.”

  She tossed her napkin onto her plate and reached for her purse, retrieving her phone. As she typed something on it, her fingers flying, she glanced over at me. “You’re leaving this evening to go to the cabin?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Picking Blair up at six.”

  She nodded. “And you’re coming home Sunday?”

  “Probably around lunch time, maybe a little later.”

  “Bring Blair for Sunday dinner with the family. The whole family.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I told her, loving the smile on her face.

  “Screw waiting until tomorrow. I’m taking the afternoon off and I’m bringing your dad home. Today.”

  “That’s my girl.” I chuckled as she got to her feet and kissed my cheek.

  “Thanks for lunch, sweetie. See you Sunday.”

  Just like that, she darted out of the restaurant like a woman on a mission.

  This weekend was going to be a turning point for us all.

  Becker and Charli.

  Mom and Dad.

  Me and Blair.

  Come Monday, the entire landscape of my life may have changed.

  And I couldn’t have been more excited for it.

  Phil was the fucking best. Period.

  I walked through the cabin with a huge grin on my face.

  It was perfect.

  Everything had been thought of. The place was immaculate and completely set for the weekend. There was a stack of firewood on the back porch, a fully stocked fridge complete with beer and wine, fresh linens, fresh flowers on the kitchen table and probably on the nightstands in the bedroom. Twinkle lights . . . there were actual frigging twinkle lights strung on the walls in the living room, trailing down the hall toward the bedroom where I’d undoubtedly find even more. Hell, he really knew how to prep for a getaway.

  The difference from the other day until now was unbelievable. If I’d thought it looked great before, now it was spec-fucking-tacular.

  You could actually feel the difference in the air. Like the place was waiting with bated breath for the romance to begin. For something epic and life-altering.

  Which I had no doubt it would be.

  I hoped like hell he and my mom would be planning something similar in the near future.

  They deserved that after all they’d been through.

  They’d both been hurt, betrayed, and abandoned in the past and it changed them in ways that made having a real, honest, trusting relationship difficult. Mom said it was like waiting for the other shoe to drop, keeping the person at a distance when things got rocky because you expected them to bail.

  God, I hoped whatever was happening between them today would be the beginning of a new shot for them. They deserved that.

  Phil loved my mom the way I loved Blair, with hi
s whole heart. And he’d do anything for her, just like I would for Blair.

  When you find the one, you hold on no matter what.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket.

  It was as if I’d mentally conjured her.

  Blair: Classes sucked today. Going home to take a nap. What time you picking me up?

  I wanted to feel bad for keeping her out so late, but I couldn’t find it in myself to regret a single moment of our date. I checked the time. A little after two.

  Me: Six work?

  Blair: Sounds good. What should I pack?

  Me: Nothing special. No blading this weekend and no need for dressy clothes, either. Casual is fine. That outfit you had on when I got there last night would be great, though. I’d kinda like to see that again.

  Blair: Hmm…I’ll see if I can fit it in my suitcase.

  Me: I know the top will fit. It was barely the size of a washcloth.

  Blair: Complaining?

  Me: Hell. No.

  Blair: Didn’t think so.

  Me: Have a good nap, baby.

  Blair: Thanks. See you soon.

  I glanced around the cabin one last time, a goofy grin plastered on my face as I made my way to the door. She was going to love this.

  Blair

  “So, has your mom been burning up your phone all week?” Charli gave me a half smile from her perch on the edge of my bed.

  I rolled my eyes as I considered then discarded yet another outfit in my closet. “Something like that. She promised when we talked on the phone that she wouldn’t freak out and smother me, but she’s still cutting off my air a little bit. It’s like seeing me for herself yesterday wasn’t enough to convince her I’m not irrevocably traumatized.”

  “Maybe if you’d stayed longer than fifteen minutes . . .”

  “We were on a mission, if you will recall.”

  “Yeah, I remember. The scramble to shop for date attire.”

  “I should have bought more stuff. All this is just . . . lacking.” I pursed my lips and yanked a flowy top off the hanger, tossing it in Charli’s direction. “You always liked this one, take it. I’m sick of looking at it.”