The Burden of Trust

by Nikki Frank

  I couldn’t stand the pain and betrayal in his eyes anymore and buried my face in the pillows.

  Ferika poked me again. “There’s more,” she prompted.

  “I’ve heard enough.” Talon slid off the bed.

  Ferika snarled at him. “You need to hear the rest. If you walk off now, you lose, plain and simple.” She prodded me again, and nothing except sobs came out. Ferika heaved a huge sigh. “Fine, I’ll tell him . . . Iya wants to pair bond with her. He’s pushing practical reasons. If you leave, he wins. He’ll have no competition. So, if even one shred of you forgives her mistake, then stay. At least until she’s healed and can act rationally.”

  Talon let out a low noise somewhere between a hiss and a snarl, then a gulping sound which nearly broke my heart.

  “I’ll stay until I decide what to do with this. Stay away from me until then.”

  The door clicked shut. “Why, Ferika?”

  “The truth had to come out. Keeping a secret would have made you look far guiltier. Even though he’s mad and hurt, he stayed. You made a mistake, one of the highest order, but not intentional. By not hiding it, you’ve at least given him the option to forgive you.”

  She put a hand on my back. “Poor girl. What have you done to yourself? I understand, though. You felt recklessly free, making you easy work for the alcohol. Why did you drink in the first place?”

  “I didn’t think I’d had much,” I wailed. “The drink wasn’t even supposed to have any alcohol. Iya asked the bartender to give him something appropriate for his young date, and I got a long island iced tea.”

  Ferika frowned and pulled out a phone. She tapped a few times and sighed. “You stupid, stupid girl. A long island iced tea has four shots.”

  “What?” I shot up in the bed. “But I drank two. They didn’t taste like anything.”

  “In other words, you were completely plastered. Well, no wonder. I’m going to show this to Talon. Maybe it’ll help if he knows how much you drank. The pervert bartender must have thought Iya wanted to take advantage of his ‘young date.’” She paused a moment. “Unless you think Iya knew?”

  I shook my head. “Iya seemed pretty oblivious about human drinks. I doubt it.”

  Ferika pressed her lips together. “But he’s an akuma. Demons are excellent liars.”

  Rage bubbled up in me. “I’m nearly a demon now, too. What are you suggesting?” My words came out with a low growl, menacing.

  Ferika gave me a horrified look. “Nothing. You’re right. He’s worked hard to save you. I’m sure he made an honest mistake.” She backed away slowly. “I’ll go tell Talon about the drinks and try to help.”

  Then she turned and fled out the door, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over me. My friends were becoming afraid of me. I searched the room for anything to focus on besides my self-induced misery. Nothing.

  The door opened, and Iya came in with a tray of food. “We ordered room service for you.”

  I shrugged. Who cared about food? He set the food on the nightstand and sat next to me. When he put a hand on my back, I stiffened, and he sighed.

  “Your situation’s really become a mess, hasn’t it?” He rubbed my back. “Maybe my feelings don’t matter to you, but I still care. You can have me if you want.”

  He leaned in to kiss my cheek, but I dodged. “I don’t know what I want.” My voice sounded dead. “What are my choices, really? The first thing I need to fix is myself. If I become a demon, nothing will matter.”

  He rubbed my back again. “Funny thing, I happen to be a demon and perfectly capable of falling for another demon. It wouldn’t stop me. It wouldn’t scare me.”

  “Bullshit,” I snapped. “You’ve already said you don’t like the kind of demon I would become.”

  “I don’t, but you could mellow out once you get the hang of the new you. Not all demons are raging monsters.” He pointed at himself. Standing, he pointed to the food. “You should eat. You’ll feel better.”

  He left the room. I went over to the tray and burst into tears. Talon had ordered all my human favorites. A bowl of watermelon, French fries, a chicken burger with bacon and avocado, and cookies. I laid my face on the wall above the tray and cried.

  Something new bubbled inside of me. Not red-rage, but steely determination. I was a fighter, born and raised. I was a demon lord. This weepy, woe-is-me attitude wasn’t me. I nabbed a French fry and nibbled despite my churning stomach. I would beat my power into submission and fix my mistakes, too.

  The lid to the tattoo box opened and throbbed when touched by my mind. I would use the power and master it. I want clothes. The sort I’m comfortable in.

  A tendril tried to emerge from the box, and I slapped it back with my mind. Now. The magic fought back, reaching to twist itself around my neck. I grabbed it with my mind insisting, The clothes.

  My whole tattoo throbbed, and I cried out, grabbing my arm. The door started to open. “Get out,” I yelled at whoever.

  The door didn’t shut, but no one came in. I refocused on the open box, sweating with the effort. The tendrils struggled against me one last time before I shut the lid to the box, and a stack of clothes appeared on the bed.

  I wiped my forehead on my T-shirt and pulled it off, swapping it for the exercise T-shirt—the athletic kind I used to wear when kidnapping. It hugged my body, kept me cool, and allowed me full range of motion. I pulled on the capris-length leggings, tied my hair back in a pony-tail, and slipped into a pair of Hermes shoes. Wiggling my toes, a smile crept across my face. Now I felt prepared, more like myself.

  I popped a piece of watermelon in my mouth, then one more. Tasty, but we needed to get moving. I threw open the door.

  “Let’s go find this vessel.”

  Chapter 7

  At my determined appearance in the living area, Ferika and Omri looked at each other and grinned. Talon scanned me, noticing my familiar clothing. His eyes widened, then he quickly turned without saying anything. Iya startled in surprise.

  “You got those yourself? With the demon magic? But how?”

  “I had to fight for them, but I’m done screwing around. This is ruining my life, and I refuse to get swept away. Now, what’s our first tracking method?”

  “I wonder . . .” Iya stepped in front of me. Taking my chin in his hand, he opened my mouth and shook his head. He ran a hand through my hair and stopped on the nubs of horn. “I thought as much. I’ll take care of this for you.”

  He said the last part while staring directly at Talon. His cinnamon-bear magic trickled over my head, and he felt my scalp again.

  “There, all better.” His tone was overly-soothing. “You should really let me know before you use the magic. I ought to be there in case anything goes wrong.”

  “No. I want to control this. Other people would only be a distraction. It’s my power. Vessel or no vessel, I still have to wield it.”

  He got a cocky smile on his face. “Whatever you say. I’ll be here to pick up the pieces.” He gave a flippant shrug of his whole upper body. “We’ll create the temporary vessel before we go. Omri has kindly returned with one I think will serve well.” He pointed to a metal jar with a seal. “Olivia, would you please lay on either the bed or the couch. This is going to be unpleasant.”

  I nodded and steeled myself for the coming pain, taking a spot on the couch.

  “Omri, Ferika, hold her down.”

  They pinned me as Iya stood over me. My eyes darted around, searching for Talon. He stood back, arms crossed, scowling. Anger and sadness burned my eyes. He could be so selfish. I know I’d hurt him, but how could he be so mad at me while I suffered?

  Iya put a hand on my tattoo and used his magic to sever the connection. I screamed until my throat might tear. Despite my thrashing, Ferika and Omri’s grip never loosened. A horrible ripping
ravaged my insides, and I wished for unconsciousness as Iya pulled away a pulsing black shadow.

  “There.” Iya stuffed the shadow into the container. He let out a sigh and handed the container to me. “I’ll teach you how to navigate the seals when we’re somewhere open. For now, let the search begin.” He turned to the rest. “I want you all to experiment on the way down to street level. Think of humans as melons. Use your power to knock on them. You want one who sounds hollow. There are five of us . . .”

  “Six,” I interrupted.

  “Five,” he corrected. “Your body calls to the magic in the container. I don’t want you to use magic for anything. Get one of us to do whatever you need. Unless you want to find out what happens when a physical vessel breaks?”

  I crossed my arms and gritted my teeth.

  “As I was saying, there are five of us searching. It would go faster if we spread out. They’re as likely to be here as anywhere―”

  “Wouldn’t a wider search first be better?” Talon’s voice offered challenge. “Rather than searching at random?”

  Iya gave him a patronizing look. “We could, but a broad search requires a great deal of magic. I’ve been saving mine to control Olivia. Are you willing to donate? Do you even have those sorts of reserves?” he sneered.

  Talon pulled something out of his pocket and held it up between his first two fingers. “I stole your wallet.” He gave a sleek grin. “Got a power boost for that, seeing as how you’re a ruling akuma and all.”

  Iya’s face turned red for a moment and faded as he snatched his wallet back. “All right then, Talon.” He hissed the name. “You need to cast a net with your magic. People will show up like lights on a map. Use the strands of your magic to get a ping on each person. The vessel will sound different. But if you want to go larger than this city, I suggest you rob a bank. You’re going to need serious reserves of power.”

  Talon nodded. “Omri, can you find a magic geyser for me?”

  Again, Iya’s face turned red. “I forgot the sphinx could access those.”

  Omri gave a bland smile. “I can. In which case, we can divide the continent between the five of us and search the entire thing from the geyser. It will save a great deal of time.”

  Iya gave a curt nod. “Velor can stay to guard Olivia, and the rest of us will see what we can find—”

  “You’d leave me behind with a babysitter?” I interrupted. “Now you want to cut the search group down from five to four?”

  “I reluctantly thought you could tag along when we’d be inspecting humans personally, not now when we’ll be sticking our hands in a fountain of raw magic,” Iya shot back. “Are you masochistic, or are you beginning to enjoy letting out your inner demon? Because that much raw magic is like setting a table of maidens in front of your dragon and telling him not to eat.”

  I gave Iya my most patronizing glare. “Staying behind is a fantastic idea. Why don’t you, the one with enough demon power to control me, go out for a while and leave me with all that volatile demon magic stuffed inside a human kitchen storage jar. I’m sure a container meant to hold dry rice is up to the job of containing the magic should something go wrong.”

  “A geyser is something going wrong.” Iya crossed his arms stubbornly.

  “Might I weigh in, Lord Iya?” Velor broke the tension.

  Iya waved at him to speak.

  “Mistress Olivia destroyed one hotel already. I’d feel safer guarding her while we’re near you, even if it is by a geyser. While you’re probably right about the fountain stirring up her power, at least you’ll be on hand to stop whatever happens. I can hold her still if she loses control, but I can’t subdue the magic.”

  Iya let out a growl of defeat. “Fine, let’s get on this. Take us to a geyser.”

  Out in the hallway, Iya fell into step beside me. Talon took the other side, never looking at me, but repeatedly shooting evil glares at Iya. Their dislike made me very uncomfortable, and the container in my arms gave a little throb. I hurried forward to walk between Ferika and Omri.

  “Hey, Ferika. Something you said earlier has been nagging at me. You spoke like the trip to Earth settled things with . . . you know, the eggs. Are you?” I whispered.

  Ferika blushed. “Nothing’s for sure, but I definitely feel better. Less panicky.”

  I rubbed my hands together, still speaking softly. “Wow. Imagine you guys as parents. Actually, I guess it’s not so hard. You sounded like my mom earlier, geez.”

  “You needed a bit of a scolding. But not punishment. I think you’ve punished yourself plenty.”

  I let my head drop to her shoulder. “I love you, Ferika.”

  Her head hit mine. “I love you, too.”

  Omri gave us a squishy look, and I stuck my tongue out at him. He smiled back at me. Now, only Talon’s slightly dirty, slightly snarky humor remained missing. Could I ever get him back?

  Omri led us out into the city. Humidity pressed in on my lungs. Hot sun blared down on palm trees.

  “Where did we end up?” I asked Ferika.

  “Daytona Beach.”

  “All the way to Florida?”

  “You destroyed a hotel, Mistress,” Velor spoke from behind me. “We wanted to put plenty of space between that poor establishment and us.”

  “Oh. Sorry.”

  “Shh . . .” Omri had his eyes closed. The wind ruffled his white-blond hair as he zeroed in on something the rest of us couldn’t sense. “This way.”

  We crossed a parking lot outside a carpet store and stopped by a plant bed. He put his hands out over the top of a small palm tree. My demon magic reacted to the raw power of the geyser.

  “Argh.” I clutched the container to my chest and curled in on the pain. The magic wanted me, and my body wanted it. Being apart from it hurt.

  Talon rushed toward me, but Iya shoved him back. “Go search, you idiot! That’s the only way you can help right now.” Iya picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me away from the geyser. “Hurry and find the vessel, you guys. I’ll try to keep her calm.”

  On the far side of the parking lot, he set me on the grass and let power wash over me. I lay panting. The geyser’s fountain of raw magic fed my demon magic, too. I closed my eyes and focused on keeping the tattoo box shut. My skin started to burn and sting.

  “Ow, ow ow. Make it stop.” I squirmed against the pain, keeping my eyes shut to keep the box shut.

  “What?” Iya asked, completely confused.

  I screamed, “My legs. They hurt.”

  Warm magic coated my legs, and the burning faded. Iya picked me up and sat me on his lap. His chest shook with suppressed laughter.

  “What?” I cracked an eye to glare at him.

  “Only you. A demon lord being attacked by Earthly insects and losing.”

  I sat up and scowled at the anthill. “God damn fire ants.” The container pulsed.

  “Ah, ah, ah,” Iya scolded, applying magic to my head. “A colony of bugs hardly warrants an all-out attack on your part.” He took advantage of the proximity and nuzzled my ear. “Why do I like you so much? You’re completely crazy.”

  I blushed and scrambled out of his lap. “I’m good now. Oh, they’re waving. Maybe they found something.”

  Ferika came dashing over to us, breathless. “Talon found one across the country. We think it’s in Kansas.”

  Without thinking, I bolted for Talon. “You found my vessel. Thank you.” When I planted a kiss on his cheek, his entire body went rigid.

  He pushed me back. “Stop it, Olivia. You’ve already found another lap to snuggle in.”

  I snarled and kicked his feet out from under him. “He was clearing off the fire ants that attacked my legs. I’m so sorry my pain made you uncomfortable.”

  Another snarl ripped
from my body, and the container blazed with heat, urging me forward. A moment later, I had a dagger in my hand, raised over Talon. I’d teach him respect.

  Ferika wrapped her arms around my chest. “Livy. Don’t become the monster in your dreams.”

  I dropped the dagger and stared horrified at Talon. “I’m—I’m sorry.”

  Turning, I fled. Behind me, they yelled at each other to catch me, but I still had my Hermes shoes on. With the help of the shoes, miles passed in minutes. I didn’t stop until reaching a strip of beach backed by swampland far down the coast. My knees hit the sand, and I screamed.

  “No. No. No. What have I done?” My face landed in the sand.

  I couldn’t breathe, but who cared? I wanted to die anyway. I’d pulled a dagger on the person I loved most and become the horrible creature in my imagination. Now he would never forgive me.

  “I’m glad I wore my Hermes shoes.”

  Talon’s voice made me cringe. He’d managed to follow. Damn it. I wanted to be alone. Facing him was too hard.

  He rolled me onto my back and sat on the sand beside me. “Close your eyes.”

  I obeyed, and he gently brushed sand off my face. Tears squeezed from beneath my eyelids.

  “Stop crying. It’s making the sand too hard to get off.” His hand fell away, and he sighed. “I want to be furious with you, to hate you. But you’re falling apart. I doubt you have any control over your actions anymore. In which case, no matter how much what you’ve done hurts, it’s not really a reflection of how you feel about me.”

  “It’s not. I love you. If only my apology could be as intense as my guilt. The alcohol was an accident. I didn’t know those drinks were so strong. They don’t taste like alcohol. The euphoria when I thought the magic was under control . . . Letting loose happened so easily, and I wasn’t careful.”

  Talon shook his head. “Ferika told me. But she didn’t need to. I’ve had a long island iced tea before.”