Yours Truly, Thomas

by Rachel Fordham

  “Something different?” Hugh said.

  Thomas paused a few moments before answering. “I’m not sure what exactly. Once, when I was in the store, Abraham’s twin daughters ran in. One of them had fallen in the street and had tears in her eyes. She didn’t see me standing in the corner. She saw her father and only him. She ran into his arms and I watched as her sorrow left her just from being near him. And one time I saw Margaret take leftover food to the man who had lost his house because of debts. He’s living in a tent at the edge of town. She didn’t have to go. I’ve never seen acts like those before. I lived in a world apart from such thoughtful gestures. I don’t fully understand it, but I think I’d like to fill my life with a bit more of it, whatever it is. Kindness, purpose.”

  “I’d say you’re a different man than Jeb. He don’t care a thing about how people look at him. Not even his wife. He’s no good for her.” Hugh’s voice was tense. “Anyway, you ever gonna tell us why you left? What really brought you west?”

  “The appetite I had back then grew too big. It was consuming everything around me. I was dying too, though I didn’t know it. I had to get away. I tried to run as far as I could and ended up here. You know the rest.”

  “Nothing wrong with a fresh start.”

  “I suppose that’s what this is. It’s hard to start over, though, when the past is still there. Even putting all these miles between myself and what I left behind hasn’t set it right, not completely. Sometimes it feels like I could have a future here. Other times I feel like a man hiding out. Waiting for something. I don’t know what. Just biding my time.”

  “At least you’re keeping busy.” Hugh reached into his saddlebag and brought out his lunch. “I meant to ask, what was in that letter I brought out to you a couple weeks back? Was it from your girl?”

  Thomas thought back. It had been well over a week now since that letter had come. Thomas had been surprised when Hugh handed it to him. And then that night when he had opened it with shaking hands and read the words of a stranger, his heart had been touched.

  “It wasn’t from who you’re thinking of. It was just someone concerned for me.” He looked down at the brown earth. “I don’t actually know who it was from.”

  “Hmm.”

  “I was surprised by it.” Thomas had read the letter and then immediately written back. He wished the sender had included her name and address so he could have written her directly. As it was, he’d had to send his return letter to the office of dead letters in hopes it would get to the proper hands.

  “Always nice getting mail.” Hugh took a bite of his biscuit.

  “I don’t have much experience with receiving friendly correspondence, but I think you’re right.”

  When Hugh left, Thomas retrieved the letter from his bedroom and reread it for no other reason than that the ink on the paper eased his loneliness.

  . . . I hope your new home is a place where joy can find its way back into your life. My father firmly believed that if we are here on this earth, then we still have work to do. He believed we have a purpose even when we cannot see it. He was full of wisdom, and though at times I’ve struggled to heed his words, I do believe them. You ought to as well. Before my father passed, I promised him I’d go on with my life and find joy and purpose. I want those things and I hope you do too. I hope you find not only the work you are here to accomplish but also the joy you are here to experience.

  Know someone out there is praying for you.

  Your friend in loss

  Who was this good person who was praying for him? Who was this selfless, caring woman? All he could do was hope his return letter had made it and she knew how grateful he was. No. That wasn’t all he could do. He could wake up each morning and offer the same goodness to others he’d been offered in this letter and by the strange new friends he’d met in Azure Springs.

  11

  Abraham waved from the store. “You needing anything? I’m about to wire an order. It’s going to be quite the shipment.”

  The proprietor’s twin daughters stood beside him. They leaned into each other and giggled. They did an awful lot of that whenever they saw Thomas. He wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or if he had food on his face he didn’t know about.

  Taking his hat from his head, he bowed in their direction, which sent them into another fit of giggles. Their laughter was infectious and he found himself smiling in return. “Ladies.”

  “Mr. Conner, we heard you bought a house and are fixing it all up because you got a lady coming,” one of the curly haired twins said, her head bobbing up and down as she spoke. “I bet she’s beautiful. Does she have dark hair, or is it light like the wheat? Oh, I can hardly wait to meet her. I bet she’s from the big city and has fine manners and wears ball gowns when she goes about town.”

  “Mae.” Abraham’s normally slow, easy voice was stern. “Enough. Those are not things for you to ask.”

  “I’m sorry, Papa.” Mae’s cheeks flushed red. “I was only hoping to hear what she looked like. I’m sorry I wasn’t more polite.”

  Thomas knew Abraham wasn’t like his own father, but he couldn’t help remembering the many times he’d been rebuked in public. The way his father had spoken and belittled him had been more painful than any physical beating.

  “Well, Mae,” Thomas said, “if a girl shows up in town for me, you’ll be the first to know.”

  Mae’s face brightened. “And Milly?” she asked, pointing to her sister. “Can we tell her too? She’s as eager to meet her as I am.”

  “Of course. I’ll be sure the Howell twins are part of the welcoming party.”

  “We love parties. We could use the social hall and decorate it.” Mae grabbed her sister’s hand. “It’d be so much fun. We could get the Ladies’ Aid Society to bake and the schoolchildren could decorate.”

  Thomas rubbed his callused hands together. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m sure things like decorations can be decided on later.”

  “Girls.” Abraham got their attention. “Best run along.”

  “We have to go help Mama,” Milly said. “But we’re both looking forward to meeting your girl when she comes. Goodbye, Mr. Conner.”

  “Good day to you both,” he said before turning his attention to their father. “I hope they aren’t disappointed when no one shows up for me.”

  “I think rumors are going ’round because of all the letters you send. This town loves a good story. Anything to keep life interesting.” Abraham opened his order forms. “What can I get you?”

  Thomas glanced around the store. “I know my kitchen is running low, but I don’t need to order anything. Your store is always well stocked. I could use a book on animal husbandry. Don’t tell anyone I’m ordering that though.”

  Abraham nodded. “I haven’t told anyone about the farming books or the cooking books. I respect a man’s secrets.”

  “I appreciate it.” He patted his stomach. “I really ought to make more time for those cooking books. At the rate I’m going, I’ll never get fat off the land.”

  Abraham let out a jolly laugh. “It’s not the land that makes you fat. It’s a wife who knows how to cook and always makes a bit too much. That’s my Abigail. She’s a fine hand in the kitchen.”

  “We better hope your daughters are right and there’s a lady headed my way.” Thomas picked up a can of peaches. “Otherwise, I’m likely to die out there and require only a narrow grave. Farming is hard enough, but working on nothing but poorly made biscuits and beans makes it twice as hard. It’s all more work than I’d imagined.”

  “Most things worth doing are. Jeb says you’re late getting your seed in.” Abraham flipped through a catalog, then pointed. “Here’s a book on animals. I should have it here in a couple weeks at the most.” He looked up then. “If you’re needing help, let us know. John Polson was in the other day. He said his fields are in. He might be able to come help for a day or so. There are others too. Some of the young men are hiring out. If you have a
little money to invest now, a good harvest will make it all worth it in the end.”

  “Hugh has come over a few days, even though I’ve told him he doesn’t need to. His land needs him.”

  “I’ve seen his place. That soil is the worst in the county. Knowing Hugh, he’ll make something out of it. That man’s got spirit and heart.”

  “That he does. You hear of someone needing a few days’ work, send them out to my place.” Thomas gathered up his few supplies. “I know I missed the last social. Hugh tried to talk me into going, but the truth is, I was too worn out to make my way into town. Hugh said another is coming up.” He looked at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck. “I wasn’t planning to go, but that might be a time I could make some arrangements for help. If I don’t get all my seed in soon, it’ll be too late. From what I’ve read, I might already be too late. I’d like to avoid a smug look from Jeb if I can.” Thomas’s head jerked up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No need to apologize. I wish I could make excuses for Jeb, but I think you’re probably right. I keep hoping he’ll change his ways. I’m not one to give up on a man, but he’s not likely to change before the harvest.” Abraham’s eyes took on a solemn, faraway look. “He’s certainly not the man he could be. I wish he were.”

  Thomas could only imagine that this doting father was thinking of his oldest daughter . . . the one saddled with Jeb. And then Thomas thought of Clara’s father and regrets crept in once again.

  “I’m sorry,” Abraham said when he spoke again. “Friday night’s the town social. You’ll want to be there. Everyone comes. All the young men from the whole area will be there, so I’m sure you’ll be able to secure some labor. Besides, the women always fix a fine meal.” Abraham wrote down a few notes while he spoke. “I’ve been hearing a whole lot of whispering about the man who bought the old Dawson place. I’d say at least the womenfolk are anxious to know you better. The social would be a good way to quiet their wagging tongues.”

  Thomas grumbled. “I’m not sure I need a bunch of womenfolk after me. I’ll see if I can pull myself away from my fields, but it’s the food and the laborers I’ll be after. I’m only now learning to live this kind of life. I can’t bring someone else into it.”

  Penny’s body lurched in the seat as the train came to a stop. Using the back of her hand, she wiped at the corners of her mouth and hoped she was able to erase any evidence of the nap she’d taken.

  “Azure Springs. Azure Springs.” The conductor walked up and down the aisle announcing the destination.

  Grasping the seal of the window, she leaned toward it. Then with a combination of apprehension and eagerness, she peered out. A dull brown platform with a single ticket booth met her eyes. Her heart raced. She was here. This was it. What now?

  “This is Azure Springs. Isn’t it your stop?” the conductor asked as he stopped beside her.

  Penny nodded. But she didn’t rise. Suddenly, she doubted what she’d been so certain of.

  “You have family here?”

  She shook her head.

  Why am I here? She couldn’t seem to remember. Telling the man she had traveled here on a whim hardly seemed an adequate reply.

  “The train won’t be stopped here long. It’s just unloading and loading.” He leaned against one of the seats, arms folded across his chest. “Do you need some help? Are you waiting because your bag is heavy?”

  “No. It’s not that. I’m quite capable.” She wrapped her fingers around the handle of her carpetbag. “I’m just nervous.”

  “You meeting someone?” His eyes wandered up and down her body. She squirmed under his gaze. “You aren’t one of them mail-order brides, are you? We had a few of those a month or so back who were headed even farther west. They weren’t too pretty, but they were nervous too.” He continued to study her. “I’d say you’re too easy on the eyes to be some stranger’s bride. Naw, it can’t be that. You don’t look like someone who would have to traipse across the country just to land yourself a man.”

  She rose then. “I’m taking some time away . . . for myself. That’s all.” None of this had anything to do with a man. Of course it didn’t. Did it?

  The man’s eyebrows came together. “Some time for yourself? In Azure Springs? It’s not much of a destination city.”

  She forced a smile, knowing she was going to have to think of a better explanation—and soon. It wouldn’t do to have everyone in town look at her the way this man was.

  Pushing past him, she made for the door. “Thank you for telling me what stop it was.”

  “My pleasure. Enjoy your time.”

  He might as well have been laughing. His words, his tone, the sparkle in his eyes. He thought she was foolish. She straightened her shoulders and faced the door, reminding herself that what he or anyone else thought wasn’t important. But what had she been thinking? How did she end up here? She stepped from the train with a knot in the middle of her stomach.

  She clutched the handle of her bag and searched for someone to ask directions. “Can you tell me where I can find a boardinghouse?” she asked the man in the single ticket booth.

  He set down the stack of papers he was holding. “Hello, miss. Welcome to Azure Springs.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Nice thing about Azure Springs is there isn’t much to it. Directions are easy to give. Go on down Main Street and look for the only bright yeller building there is. That’s Margaret’s place. We also got us a hotel. But if you aim to stay for a while, I’d suggest Margaret’s. She’s a mighty fine cook, and if I were picking a place to stay, food would be what I’d be after.” He wiped a handkerchief across his bald head. “Besides, Pete over at the hotel isn’t much of a gentleman and nearly everyone who stays there ends up going to Margaret’s dining hall for dinner anyway.”

  “You are a fountain of knowledge.” Before she could step away, his voice started up again.

  “I’m sure she’s got rooms open. I know Thomas Conner moved out, and I think the Rushmores fixed up their place and are gone too. ’Course, you don’t know none of them. Or maybe you do. It ain’t none of my business what you’re doing in these parts.” He drummed his fingers on his desk. “What are you doing in these parts?”

  “No, I don’t know them. I’m just . . . I’m here to, um . . .” Her roaming eyes stopped on the pencil behind the man’s ear. “I’m here to write.” She felt beads of sweat creeping down her forehead as she stumbled over the rest of her story. “I needed to get away and work on my novel. I thought I’d find a quaint little town to enjoy some peace and quiet in while I wrote. Azure Springs sounded like the perfect place. Don’t you think azure is a lovely word? Sky blue. People ought to use it more, don’t you think?” She paused and looked around. Yellows and greens, brown. Those were the colors of the little town. “Though I haven’t seen anything azure here yet. Aside from the sky. I’m sorry, I’m rambling.” She tried to calm her racing heart. “And, well, I wanted to make sure I could accurately describe a small town. I’m from the big city, so, well, I have little experience with country living.” She was out of breath, so she stopped talking and waited. Would he call her bluff?

  “Miss,” a voice called from behind her, “we’ve unloaded your dog. Do you want us to bring her to you?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  The man in the ticket booth leaned forward and looked toward the train. “Well, ain’t that something. We get all sorts through here. Mostly just passing through on their way west. It’s mighty fine to have someone come to our town because they want to. And look at that dog. I ain’t never seen an animal so hairy as that one.”

  Penny straightened a little. “She’s due for a trimming, but I assure you she’s very tame.”

  “I meant no offense.”

  “None taken. I forget she’s so unusual. To me she’s simply the most beautiful dog in the world.”

  A strange noise escaped from the ticket man. Penny wasn’t sure if it was a laugh or a grunt. She didn�
��t spend much time trying to decipher it and instead bent down and put her arms around Honey.

  “So, you picked us off the map?” The ticket man whistled low. “Imagine that. We’ll have to ask Abraham at the store to order in some of your books. Everyone will be wanting a copy. I can’t wait to tell my wife. She’s always reading something. She’s educated.” He looked ready to burst with pride when he spoke of her. “Four whole years of schooling. I got three myself. Together that makes seven years.”

  “Oh,” Penny said, trying to hide her surprise. “I too love to read. I’m sure we’ll have a lot in common.”

  The man looked past her. “Sorry, miss. Someone else is waiting.”

  “Of course.” She moved to the side. “I’m sorry to take up so much of your time. Thank you for the directions.”

  He smiled a big, toothy smile. “What is your name? I’ll be wanting to tell the missus.”

  “Penelope Ercanbeck.”

  “Welcome to town, Miss Penelope Ercanbeck. Welcome to Azure Springs.”

  “Thank you, sir.” She led Honey down the street and into the town she’d imagined so often in recent weeks. “Come on, girl. It may not look like much, but it’s not DC. We’re free. Let’s have an adventure.”

  12

  Penny spotted the boardinghouse easily enough. The yellow building was brighter and more vibrant than she ever could have imagined. It stood out among the other dull brown buildings. The door was red and rich and welcoming.

  She quickened her pace but stopped when she heard, “Are you new here?”

  Turning, she saw two girls approaching. They were identical. Each round-cheeked with curls framing her face. “Yes. I only just arrived.”