Molly's Journey

by Sheila Newberry

  ‘I wasn’t deprived, Father. You chose a good place for me to be; many whose parents have to leave them are not so fortunate. The Army was your career, I accepted that, and I’m glad that you’ve found someone else at last. Her children will be the family you never really had. It’s too late for me to be part of that.’

  ‘She’s a fine woman, Molly. Her children appear willing to accept me. However, I imagine she will never quite live up to the memory of Florence. To others we may have appeared ill-matched, but there was—’

  ‘A spark between you? I know, I really do. And I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’ve decided to stay with Alexa for the time being, not because I feel I owe it to her but, because she needs me. We have things in common, like losing the most important person in our lives.’

  ‘Your baby’s father?’ He looked keenly at her now as she sat on the low nursing chair beside the crib, allowing little Almond to grasp one finger of her outstretched hand in her tiny fist.

  Molly gave a silent shake of her head. ‘Maybe – I’m not sure anymore, since the baby was born – she’s going to look like him, I think. He did love me at the time, that’s important, and Matthew would marry me now. I’m aware that would please you, because you know him well, but it’s someone else I dream of, you see.’

  Almond stirred, opened her mouth, then her eyes.

  Molly scooped her up in her arms gladly. ‘Anyway, don’t think I’m sad, will you, because this little one is the love of my life, and she’s all I need right now.’ Her hand hesitated over the buttons on her smock.

  Her father rose instantly. ‘Mess-time, eh?’ he boomed. ‘Well, I’ll go downstairs and tell your self-appointed guardian that she isn’t going to lose you after all!’

  He turned at the door: ‘Molly, thank you for her name, my dear. It means a great deal to me.’

  *

  ‘You don’t mind if I go out for a bit, do you?’ Nancy asked Leonard. She knew he liked a nap after Sunday lunch, so he wouldn’t be deprived of her company.

  ‘Of course not, my dear. Calling for Molly, I expect?’

  ‘Mmm. It’ll be nice in the park, all the flowers out and we can enjoy wheeling the baby round all the paths and seeing folk out and about.’

  ‘Don’t talk to any strange young men. You look very fetching today.’

  ‘I’m not a flirt, you know that, Leonard!’ she reproved him mildly.

  Unexpectedly he caught at her sleeve as she rustled past, in crisp yellow cotton, as sunny as the day. All her spare time was spent at her sewing machine, she did not demand the latest fashions but set to and made them for herself. She was a thrifty young wife. He was very fortunate. ‘Kiss me goodbye?’ he asked.

  ‘Oh, Leonard, anyone would think I was going away for ages, not just an hour or two!’ Nancy bent over him as he lay back in the reclining leather chair she had insisted he buy from the shop because Alexa offered them such a generous discount. She had her soft bed, now he had his chair . . . She kissed his forehead obediently. He looked off-colour, she thought, feeling a trifle worried but not enough for her to change her mind about going out. ‘Still got that horrid headache? Never mind, a nice sleep’ll cure that.’ He was over-conscientious with the shop bookwork, to the extent of bringing it home with him at weekends.

  He gave her a sudden fierce hug, actually making her catch her breath for a moment. ‘I’m the luckiest chap in the world to have you,’ he told her. ‘You must get tired of hearing me say it, but I adore you, Nancy.’

  *

  Two pretty girls paused by the boating lake, then settled on a seat to watch the punters and rowers, to enjoy the splashes and the excited laughter from the couples out on the bright water.

  Little Almond Sparkes, three months old now, slept peacefully in the fresh air, in the perambulator bought for her by her doting honorary grandmother, Alexa. She was growing fast, filling out, a fuzz of sand-gold hair just showing round her organdie bonnet. The worries over her early arrival were almost forgotten.

  ‘She’s a real Kelly,’ Nancy observed, then wished she hadn’t said that. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean—’

  ‘No, you’re right, she is,’ Molly said cheerfully. ‘Sometimes I think how Serena and Cora would have loved her, but I guess Rory and his new wife will have a family one day and it’s best this way, especially with that great distance between us, isn’t it?’

  ‘Rory would love her too – you’re so lucky to have her, Molly, even though some folk wouldn’t agree.’

  ‘I know. What about you, Nancy? Are you considering starting a family?’

  ‘Molly Sparkes, you know how to make me blush! We haven’t been married more than a few months yet, remember. Not that I wouldn’t love to be at home with a baby to care for like you, but I’m enjoying my work.’

  ‘Alexa says she doesn’t know what she’d do without the wonderful Mr and Mrs Loom! I suspect she secretly misses all the bustle and smells of the business but she adores the baby. I have to watch out that she doesn’t take Almond over. Mind you, she looked rather relieved when I said I was going out this afternoon.’

  ‘She’s enjoying a sleep after a heavy roast lunch, like Leonard, I expect,’ Nancy said.

  ‘I still intend to return to the world of work myself, when the right opportunity comes up,’ Molly confided. ‘Having had a taste of independence, I dearly want to pay my own way in life. Don’t worry, I’d never neglect my baby, she’s far too precious, and I couldn’t bear to farm her out, but there must be a way I can combine being a mother and – and —’

  ‘A bright spark?’ Nancy suggested wryly.

  ‘That’s it! I’d hate to think I’d lost my sparkle!’

  *

  ‘I’m back,’ Nancy called out as she took off her straw boater and laid it on the hall table.

  Leonard was obviously awake for she could hear music, a recording on the old phonograph he hadn’t played since their wedding day. It must have gathered dust, for the words were being repeated over and over, Abide with me . . . Abide, abide, abide . . .

  ‘Leonard!’ she screamed, crouching over the body sprawled on the floor. It was no use: like his mother before him, Leonard Loom was beyond help. His pale face, with its look of surprise, glistened with Nancy’s tears as she cradled his head against the sunshine yellow of her dress.

  ‘I never told you what you wanted so much to hear,’ she wept. ‘I couldn’t lie to you – but, Leonard, I felt safe with you, I really did . . . ’

  *

  Two weeks after losing her husband, Nancy was back in the showroom. She had already, at Alexa’s urging, paid a month’s rent in lieu of notice and moved back in with Alexa, Molly and the baby. She brought with her only the bed, the chair, her sewing machine, new clothes and wedding photograph.

  Alexa had swiftly resumed control of the business, but her faithful long-standing employee would be sorely missed. ‘You didn’t need to come here yet,’ she said, concerned. ‘Minnie was only too pleased to stand in for you – she really has the makings of a good saleslady. When your finances are sorted, the insurance and the lump sum I intend to pay you in lieu of the pension Leonard would have received . . . well, I imagine there will really be no need for you to work at all. Molly might well be glad of your help with the baby, eh?’

  It was all Nancy could think of. It gave her the strength to keep going, especially when she overheard Minnie talking to the new accounts clerk when she was about to enter the office one day. ‘There’ll never be another Mr Loom, in Mrs Nagel’s opinion. What a pity he wore himself out trying to please a young wife. Died of over-excitement, I reckon.’

  When Molly was ready to return to work, Nancy would be there for Almond.

  *

  In 1909, the King’s horse Minoru won the Derby at Epsom, but it was to be the last popular royal racing win for in May 1910 the King died. The Edwardian age was not yet over, although his second son was pronounced George V. The following year the Terra Nova set sail for the Antarctic wastes with Captain
Scott and his companions; it was the year the White Star liner Olympic was launched, whose sister ship would be the Titanic; it was the year Mrs Lambert Chambers won her first singles title at Wimbledon; it was also the year when a new name appeared in small print on the bills posted outside the provincial music halls: SPARKES – COMIC MIME AND DANCE

  *

  Nancy left it to the last minute to put on Almond’s best dress. It didn’t matter that the baby would not be on show; she must look her best for her mother’s second debut, Nancy determined. Perhaps it was fitting that this should be in a seaside music hall not many miles from where Molly’s circus career had first commenced, in Great Yarmouth.

  The dressing room of the Hippodrome was bustling; artistes came in and out. Almond was having great fun toddling between the ladies making costume changes and those applying greasepaint. As Molly’s newly self-appointed dresser, constant companion and child-minder, Nancy was kept busy herself. She was happy; some of the excitement and glamour rubbed off on her. She was aware, too, that Molly couldn’t have managed to come this far without her.

  They had left Alexa’s house a few days ago and were touring, staying in not always salubrious lodgings – Molly had warned Nancy of that – the months of planning and meticulous rehearsing about to come to fruition.

  She knew that Alexa would miss them a great deal, and hoped that she did not feel that Nancy had let her down, leaving the House of Leather soon after Alexa had decided to appoint her for a trial period to Leonard’s old job.

  ‘Remember, you are welcome back here at times when things are slack,’ she’d told them both. ‘You must have somewhere to call home.’

  ‘When I get a London booking, don’t worry, we’ll take you at your word!’ Molly said.

  ‘I’ll take great care of them both,’ Nancy promised her mentor.

  *

  Against the backdrop of a shabby city street, pictured at night, a lad leaned against a make-believe lamp. As the music began, in the spotlight, the mop-haired urchin performed amazing, seemingly effortless acrobatic contortions, to enthusiastic applause. The expressions on his face made the audience crease up with laughing. They loved his patched breeks, his big boots, the shadows he cast on the wall.

  In the stalls that first time, Alexa, dressed up to the nines and accompanied by Matthew, who had driven them here this morning, found herself silently weeping but fiercely proud; in the wings, Nancy held up flouncy-frocked Almond in her arms and breathed excitedly: ‘That’s your mum, Florence Almond, that is: Sparkes!’

  When Molly cartwheeled off the stage, she returned with Almond and showed her daughter to the audience. ‘One day, darling Almond,’ she whispered, ‘you’ll really be centre stage with me.’

  PART THREE

  ONE

  1911

  ‘If you’re good, Florence Almond, when Matthew and Fay come this afternoon, we might take you along to Buckingham Palace to see that grand new statue of Queen Victoria – fancy, in real life she was short, just like me, but I hope I don’t grow as wide one day, eh? Anyway, everyone looks up to her now she’s thirteen feet tall!’

  Molly, having stopped Leonard’s phonograph, on which she had been playing her own choice of records, was now inelegantly sprawled out in his leather chair in Nancy’s room at Alexa’s house. Her lively daughter, unflagging, was still dancing about. Molly mopped the sweat off her own forehead. She wore her usual morning limbering-up clothes, chemise top and old tights.

  ‘I can see your toes, Mummy!’ Two-year-old Almond poked her finger through the holes with a sly grin.

  ‘When you get changed, pass those stockings to me to mend,’ Nancy said, bringing in refreshments. She’d timed her entrance for when the thumping overhead ceased, after she’d hung Almond’s washing on the line.

  ‘Oh, I can afford some new ones, surely, ‘Molly said airily, sitting up then draining her glass of lemonade gratefully. ‘Even if I’m out of work at present. Strange how my ventures never last long, though they start so well. Mind you, they say the music hall is competing – and losing – against the cinematograph now, don’t they? Who wants to see Molly Sparkes when they can watch Charlie Chaplin? Same size, same boots . . .

  ‘Still, there’s plenty going on in dear old London, and I’m always happy when May comes along! ’Specially now Almond and I share a birthday. Can you believe she’s two and I’m twenty-three?’ Nancy shook her head, mockingly. ‘And there’s the Coronation to look forward to, at the end of June. I was just telling Almond about the old Queen’s statue, and how I hope I never become as round as she was.’

  ‘Not much danger of that,’ Nancy said drily. ‘The way you carry on – how much longer are you going to lark about on stage being a lad, Molly?’ Age didn’t have much to do with it, she thought, you were either realistic, as she was, or not – like Molly. She really believed she was independent, but relied heavily on the moral support of her friends.

  ‘Well, I’ve got enough sense to realise that I’m not cut out to be an adult male impersonator: I’m no Ella Shields – I was all goose-pimply waiting in the wings when she had the audience roaring and on their feet with “Burlington Bertie.” All those rousing songs they sing, too – jingoistic, Alexa says – and dashing uniforms accentuating bosoms and bottoms – which in my case wouldn’t be much use, would it? Nothing like real soldiers or sailors at all, but what the audience calls for nowadays with all this talk of war. I haven’t got a strong enough voice for a start, and my legs just aren’t long enough . . . Got any ideas?’

  ‘As I said, give me your tights to darn – and, by the way, Mrs Moore mentioned you made all the ornaments rattle downstairs when you were leaping about up here earlier! Just as well Alexa went into work today, though I keep telling her she ought to have Saturdays off now Minnie’s well and truly in charge.’ Nancy was still a bit self-conscious when using Alexa’s Christian name.

  ‘Perhaps it was a mistake coming back here?’

  ‘We can’t afford anywhere else at the moment,’ Nancy told her bluntly. ‘And she was so pleased to see us.’

  ‘It all started off so well,’ Molly sighed, ‘’til I ran out of fresh ideas for the act. Variety is what you need nowadays. Rory planned everything when we were together – he learned a lot from Thom, of course, but he was born to that sort of life, which I certainly wasn’t. I probably took it up when I was too old. Well, you know what I mean. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the circus, but it wouldn’t be fair on you, living in a tent or caravan, looking after Almond while I indulged myself—’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind,’ Nancy said loyally. ‘So long as you were both happy. That awful accident – your poor Danish friend – doesn’t haunt you any more then?’

  ‘Not once I heard that Hanna was recovering well after she finally went home to Copenhagen. Oh, Nancy,’ she exclaimed, ‘I haven’t had a chance to pass on some exciting news which came by first post – you’re always dashing about here and there! Hanna is now back in Madrid and she’s about to marry the circus manager! Apparently, Miguel visited her faithfully in hospital there all those months, and has kept in touch with her ever since. She wants me to go over for the wedding, and to stay on a few days afterwards if I’d like to, but it’s the week after next, so I couldn’t possibly . . . ’

  ‘Of course you could! Especially if you go on your own. Almond and me can stay on here with Alexa.’

  ‘Nancy Loom, you’re the most unselfish person I know!’

  The door handle rattled and Matthew’s voice called: ‘Anyone at home? I know we’re early, but I thought I might take you all out to lunch. Mrs Moore let me in as she was leaving.’ He stood in the doorway, while Fay dashed into the room.

  ‘Fay!’ Almond shouted in excitement, turning a wobbly head-over-heels just as Fay had done at that age. ‘Fay’s here!’

  ‘And Matthew,’ Nancy reminded her.

  ‘Downstairs! And take Almond with you, eh?’ Molly ordered. ‘Avert your eyes, Matthew. I’m in no fit state t
o be seen: my daughter has already pointed out the state of my tights!’

  ‘You look much the same as usual to me,’ he said mildly. But he shooed the girls down the stairs, and closed the door after them.

  Molly wriggled out of the offending garment and tossed it over to Nancy. ‘You can have your heart’s desire and darn away, my dear friend, because now I have to save our pennies for another voyage of discovery!’

  And who knew what that might lead to? Nancy thought wryly. Didn’t Molly even wonder why Matthew visited so frequently now they were back in London? They would make a lovely family, the four of them, if only Molly’s head wasn’t still in the clouds.

  *

  It pained Molly to see her friend still using crutches, but Hanna’s bright welcoming smile reassured her: although she would never now realise her lofty dreams, she would shortly be back in the circus, the environment she loved, in a different capacity, as Miguel’s wife and assistant.

  Molly thought it best to enlighten Hanna straight away regarding her own changed status: ‘I didn’t tell you when I wrote because I wasn’t sure if you were in touch with Rory – I’ll explain all that later – but I have a little girl, named for my mother, Florence Almond, only I call her Almond, and she . . . ’ I should have brought her with me, she thought, only she’s such a rascal. Two weeks! What will she get up to? How can I be parted from her that long?

  ‘She is just like you, dear Molly, eh?’ Hanna looked bemused. Her fiancé had tactfully left them to talk over old times when he’d brought Molly back to the spacious house he and Hanna were already renting. Her own family were due to arrive shortly, so for propriety’s sake she was sharing her large room on the ground floor with her friend until after the wedding. The shutters were down, it was time for siesta, but the young women had so much to talk about. They lay on the big double bed, in their petticoats, having shed dresses, stockings and shoes. Hanna had actually let down her long hair, and figuratively Molly was doing the same.