Intentional Risk (R.I.S.C. Book 4)

by Anna Blakely

  “Wait,” he told her. “I’ll show you.”

  Derek pulled his phone from his pocket and began swiping through his pictures. Charlie’s mind raced for some sort of explanation other than the one she already knew to be true.

  “Here. See? That’s Kim and her wife on their wedding day. She sent these to me because I was away and couldn’t make it to the ceremony.”

  There, on the screen, was the same girl Charlie had seen that night. She was older, now, but it was definitely her.

  And she was wearing a wedding dress while kissing her new bride.

  Suddenly, the boat felt as though it was spinning. Charlie’s hand reached for the bow, her hand fumbling to get a grip on its edge.

  “Whoa. You okay?” Derek’s hands shot up to her shoulders to keep her steady. “You don’t look so good. Here, sit down.”

  “Caleb was right,” she mumbled, more to herself than to him. “I am an idiot. This whole time, I thought...”

  “Jesus, sweetheart. You’re shakin’ like a leaf.” He started running his hands up and down her bare arms. “It was just a misunderstanding, Charlie.”

  Continuing to stare mindlessly out at the water, Charlie felt like her soul was being torn apart from the inside out.

  “Seriously, Charlie. Snap the fuck out of it. You’re starting to scare me.”

  “I screwed up,” she said woodenly. “I screwed everything up.”

  “It’s okay. It was a simple mistake, that’s all. Anyone else probably would’ve thought the same thing if they’d seen Kim and I like that.”

  “No.” She shook her head, the first tear escaping. “Y-you don’t understand.”

  “Then, explain it to me. Please.”

  With tears now free-falling down her face, Charlie slid her gaze to his. With gut-wrenching regret, she told him the rest.

  “After I saw you through the window, I drove off.”

  “Where’d you go?”

  “You were there, with her, and I didn’t...” She licked her dry lips. “I didn’t want to go home to an empty house. So, I just drove. I was crying and upset, and I wasn’t paying attention to the road. I took a curb too fast and lost control of the car.”

  Derek cursed under his breath.

  “Thankfully, I got it back, but not before I went off the shoulder and into some mud. I ended up getting the car stuck.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  She laughed humorlessly. “And say what? That I’d lied to you about why I couldn’t make it to dinner? I was in love with you back then, Derek. Had been for forever. I was planning to tell you after dinner that night, but then...” Charlie looked away, swiping at her tears. “I already felt humiliated enough. I wasn’t about to call and ask you to come get me unstuck.”

  “You realize, if you had, we could’ve straightened this whole mess out right then, not eleven years later.”

  “I know.” More tears fell, and she fought the urge to completely fall apart. “Trust me, no one understands that better than I do.”

  Sensing there was more to her story, Derek asked, “What happened after that, Charlie?”

  She sniffed. “I got out to see if I could get myself unstuck. Of course, I couldn’t. I was still standing there, hating the thought of calling my dad and asking him to leave work to come help me. Then, this car pulled up behind mine.” She smiled sadly. “At first, I thought it was you, but then I saw his face.”

  “Who was it, Charlie?”

  She swallowed hard. “Caleb.” Charlie met Derek’s tortured stare and whispered. “That was the night I met my husband.”

  ****

  Chapter 9

  Derek poured himself another drink, knowing it wasn’t going to help. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to kill the pain he felt.

  It was all his fault. He was the reason that bastard had come into her life. Because of him, the one girl who’d meant more to him than any other had spent the last decade in hell. A hell he had put her in.

  Ah, Christ. Derek leaned over the sink, breathing past the gnawing need to vomit. He didn’t know what to do or where they’d go from here.

  His phone rang. He wanted to ignore it, but it was Eric. They’d made a pact long ago that, if it was possible, they’d always answer if the other called.

  Derek swiped the screen before putting the phone to his ear. “Hey.”

  “Hey, man. Sorry I bugged out on dinner the other night. We finally caught a break in the Torres case, and I couldn’t run the risk of passing it off to someone else. I’ve been working non-stop since.”

  “No worries.”

  “How’s Charlie?”

  Derek glanced back at the bedroom where she’d been hiding out since they got back from their shorter-than-planned excursion.

  “Not good.”

  His brother cursed. “Anything I can do?”

  “Help me kill that sonofabitch, Porter.”

  “If only,” Eric scoffed.

  “It’s all my fault, Eric,” he admitted painfully.

  “What’s your fault?”

  “I’m the reason they got together.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Eric listened quietly as Derek relayed the whole story.

  “Ah, hell, D. That’s not your fault. Just shitty timing after a big misunderstanding.”

  “A misunderstanding that never would’ve happened had I been more clear about who Kim was. If I’d just told her from the start that Kim liked women, Charlie wouldn’t have thought twice about what she’d seen.”

  “You can’t torture yourself with what-ifs, brother. You know that.”

  “No, man. You don’t get it. Charlie and I...” Derek paused.

  He’d never told his brother about his feelings for their friend. Out of respect for Charlie, he’d planned to talk to her about it first to see if she felt the same way.

  When he never got that chance, he’d just kept it all inside and moved on.

  “We’d been...talking back then,” he finally admitted. “Pretty sure I was in love with her.”

  “I know.”

  Shocked, Derek said, “You know?”

  “Well, I didn’t know, but I assumed.”

  What the hell? “How? I never said anything.”

  “Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? You can’t hide shit from me. I could see it in your eyes when you talked about her before you even left for BUD/s. Hell, I could hear it in your voice when you’d call. Never could understand why you gave her up so easily.”

  His brother’s words were like a punch to the gut. “I know.”

  “Ah, shit, D. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “No, you’re right. I should’ve fought for her. Maybe if I had—”

  “Fight for her, now,” Eric cut him off.

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  Derek glanced back at her bedroom again. “I don’t know, Eric. This really isn’t the time.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” His brother paused before throwing out a sarcastic, “Holding back worked out so well for you before.”

  “Fuck you. This is different.”

  “You’re right. It is.”

  Derek clenched his teeth together. “I hate it when you agree with me, but I know you don’t actually fuckin’ mean it.”

  “Oh, I mean it, brother. This time it is different. You’re adults now. And you both know what happened in the past was just a mistake.”

  “She’s married.”

  “So, fix it.”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “Easier said than done. You didn’t see the way he was with her, Eric. Porter won’t let go of her without a fight.”

  “So, bring him one.”

  “How?”

  “Hell, I don’t know. Use that super-smart brain of yours and figure out a way to get to him. If it’s one thing I’ve learned in this job, it’s that everyone has an Achilles’ heel. There’s always that one thing they care about more than anyt
hing else. My guess is Porter’s no different.”

  “I’ve looked, Eric. I didn’t find anything.”

  “Keep looking. Or, ask Charlie. I bet she knows his weak spot.”

  Derek thought a moment. “Yeah, maybe. I’ll ask her.”

  “Listen, I hate to cut this short, but I gotta go. Tell Charlie I promise I’ll try to see her soon.”

  “Okay.”

  Eric sighed. “Hang in there, D. You’ll figure this out. You always do.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “I am. Oh, and don’t forget what I said earlier. The past is the past. Can’t change it. So, focus on the future.”

  “Thanks, man. Love ya.”

  “Love you, too. Keep me posted.”

  Derek ended the call and went to check on Charlie. He was about to knock on the door when he heard a soft whimpering sound coming from the other side.

  Damn. She was crying.

  He started to turn away, to leave and give her some privacy, but something stopped him.

  He felt a pull tugging on his heart, telling him he should be in there with her. Comforting her.

  Praying he was making the right choice, Derek slowly turned the knob and entered the room. When he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, head bowed and shoulders shaking, that pull became a giant fist wrapping its meaty fingers around his heart.

  “Ah, sweetheart. Come here.” Derek went to her. He sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms.

  “I’m s-so sorry,” she sobbed. “I m-messed everything up.”

  “Shh, no, you didn’t. You made a youthful assumption that any other teenage girl would’ve made if put in that exact same situation. And what about me?”

  Charlie sniffled and turned her chin upward to face him. “W-what about you?”

  “I knew where things were headed with us. Why didn’t I tell you how I felt sooner? And I was a dumbass for not telling you the friend I was bringing home was a girl. I should’ve explained that situation better.” He took a breath then sighed. “We both made mistakes back then, Charlie. So, stop tryin’ to shoulder all the blame. This isn’t all on you.”

  “You didn’t owe me an explanation, Derek. I should’ve at least given you the opportunity to explain instead of driving off like a whiney little brat. And I never should’ve gone to dinner with some man I didn’t even know.”

  Derek had to ask. “Why did you go with him?”

  Charlie pushed herself out of his embrace and sat up straight. “I’ve asked myself that a million times over the past few years. I think it was just a combination of everything. I was upset, and he was charming. God”—she shook her head.—“he used to be so damn charming.”

  She paused, clearly struggling to share this part with him.

  “As soon as our vows were spoken, I began to see less and less of that side of him,” she began again. “Before long, I realized it was all just a façade. He was a fake. An actor. And damn, could he put on a performance when he needed to.” Charlie swiped at her tears and went on. “That man can work a crowd like no other. He has this uncanny way of luring people in and getting them to give him what he wants.”

  “And what is it you want?”

  She looked back over at him, her chin trembling as she spoke. “To not have to wake up every day wondering if that’s the day he’ll finally kill me. I want to be free to say and do whatever I want. To be free of him.”

  Her eyes lowered, and he saw her throat working as she swallowed several times. A moment later, with almost a whisper, she looked back up at him and said, “I want to love and know what it feels like to truly be loved.”

  “I can help you with that,” he offered wholeheartedly.

  Her eyes flickered between both of his. “Which part?”

  Going out on a limb, he heard himself say, “All of it.”

  Before he even knew what he was doing, Derek cupped her cheek and scooted a bit closer. His gaze moved from her eyes to her lips, and back. “No pressure here, darlin’. I know there’s a lot of shit we have to work through, but I’m here. And I’ll be by your side every single step of the way.”

  “As a friend?” she whispered back nervously.

  “As whatever you want me to be.” Her breath hitched from his words, and he felt it only fair to lay it all out for her. “There’s one more thing you need to know.”

  “What’s that?”

  Derek shook his head slowly. “I’m not giving you up so easily this time.”

  His heart damn near exploded when she said, “I don’t want you to.”

  Unable to keep from it, Derek leaned in and gently pressed his lips against hers. He’d seen her eyes just before they’d closed. Not only was she expecting the kiss, but she’d welcomed it.

  He went slowly as to gauge her reaction, but almost immediately, Charlie was kissing him back. The way she moved combined with his trembling nerves made Derek feel like a teenager again.

  It was as if they were both experiencing what it was like to kiss for the first time. And in some ways, they were.

  He brought his other hand to her face, framing her soft cheeks as he tilted her head to the side for better access. Taking things a step further, he ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips, thanking the gods above when she welcomed him in.

  That first taste was explosive. He could taste the salt from her tears as their tongues moved together in a way that made Derek think of everything he’d been missing in his life.

  That’s all it took. Just one touch...one kiss, and he knew...

  I can’t ever let her go.

  The thought had barely run through his mind when he felt Charlie backing away, breaking the magnetic spell she’d put him under.

  “I-I’m sorry.” Conflict swirled behind her chocolate eyes as she sat there, staring back at him with red and swollen lips.

  Derek shook his head as he ran his tongue along his lips loving that he could still taste her. “If anyone should apologize, it’s me. I thought you—”

  “No.” She was quick to shake her head. “I wanted to.” She looked away. “I’ve wanted to do that for almost as long as I can remember.”

  “Well, I sure hope it was worth the wait,” he teased, hoping to get a smile out of her, which, he did.

  “It was.” She chuckled softly.

  “But?” he asked, sensing one coming.

  Charlie licked her lips and met his eyes again. “I’m still married, Derek. I-I know that probably doesn’t make any sense, given who I’m married to, but—”

  “It makes perfect sense, darlin’. You made a commitment. You want to honor that.”

  “No, it’s not that,” she admitted shamelessly. “I mean, yes. I took my vows seriously. Even though he accused me of it numerous times, I’ve never cheated on him.”

  “So, what’s got you all worked up? Other than me, of course,” he winked. He was rewarded with another, timid smile.

  “I just...I want to be with you knowing there’s nothing standing between us anymore. Especially Caleb.” Her shoulders fell as she sighed. “I know that sounds stupid, and if you don’t want to wait on me, I underst—”

  Derek grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her again. Hard. When he pulled back, he leaned his forehead against hers.

  “It’s not stupid, Charlie. It’s what you want. As for me...hell, yeah, I want to be with you. Have for a long damn time. And it will happen, but not until you’re ready.”

  A tear escaped the corner of her eyes. “What are we going to do about him, Derek?”

  He leaned back. “I’ll have our company lawyer draw up divorce papers.”

  “Good luck with that.” She stood and took a few steps toward the door. Turning back, her expression turned serious. “He’ll kill me before ever agreeing to a divorce.”

  Derek shot up and went to her. With his hands on her shoulders, he vowed, “That’s not gonna happen, Charlie. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

  “How? You said it yourself. We
can’t stay here forever. You have a job to get back to, and I”—she ran her hand through her hair—“hell, I don’t even know where I’m going to go.”

  “Like you said, we’ll figure it all out. Together.”

  She looked up at him, her wide eyes full of hope.

  “Do you really think you can help me find a way to be free of Caleb?”

  “I do,” he answered honestly. “Actually, I already have a couple of ideas. But, before we talk about that, I need to know as much about your marriage as you can tell me.”

  Charlie’s shoulders fell again. He could tell she didn’t really want to talk about her husband, but the number one rule in combat is know your enemy.

  “Okay,” she finally agreed quietly. “I’ll tell you what I know, but can we go out on the deck for this conversation? I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I think it’ll be easier to talk about him if I’m not so closed in.”

  “Whatever you want.”

  Derek followed her outside. With a throw from inside wrapped protectively around her, she sat in one of the chairs and gave him a glimpse of what her life with Caleb had been like.

  “At first, he seemed so perfect. He said and did all the right things. It was almost as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.”

  “When did things start to change?”

  “It was subtle, at first. Little things, like acting jealous if I mentioned your or Eric’s name. It even seemed to bother him when I would talk about your parents. I’m pretty sure he was jealous of them, too.”

  “He was jealous of my folks? Why?”

  “Because they were everything his parents weren’t. His mom was, well is, a socialite, and his dad is a retired, high-profile corporate attorney. According to Caleb, nothing he ever did growing up was good enough for them. To hear him talk, he never measured up to their standards. It’s why he went to law school. He thought if he became a successful enough attorney, his dad would be proud.”

  “Let me guess. Still not good enough?”

  “No. I’ve only been around his father a few times over the years, but there’s just something off about him. Aside from Caleb, that man is the coldest, most uncaring person I’ve ever met.”

  Derek thought for a moment. “Doesn’t excuse Caleb’s behavior, but I’d say it definitely contributed to his controlling personality.”